"Woah- hol' up-" MJ slaps her hands on her desk, turning to face Reed and Ash. "If Reed is my twin, and if Reed is married to Ash that makes Ash my sibling-in-law which means that we should probably invite Reed to our Olive Garden date, Ash."
I sit there in confusion as it all goes down. "Dang. Reed, when you pick up Ash? Wish I was that lucky." I joked.
"Hold on, I'm married to Ash."
I look over at my baby appple pie,
"Ash, What the fuck?
“Reed, they’re not divorce papers, I’m writing a poem. For the frogs.” Ash pauses and turns to Seeba, blinking a few times to clear the sleep from their eyes. “Honeybun, it’s not what it looks like, it’s like-“ Ash takes a breath and continues. “I don’t even know what it looks like but I still love the both of you.”
Zero looked over, confused. "Divorced frogs? I beg your pardon?" He looked back over at Moss. "Um also, I'm not sure what we're doing. I walked in not too long ago so I'm just as confused as you are."
“The frogs aren’t divorced,” Ash explains. “Reed and I were supposed to share custody of the frogs, but they’ve sadly passed.”
"May they rest in peace," said Moss solemnly, leaning over their desk to tune into the conversation.
"Ash are you cheating on me- Wait no it's with Seebs, Seebs deserves Love. All the Love is stored in the Seebs. I'm a tad delirious." Reed gave a thumbs up and a very unconvincing nod.
"We could be the polyamorus school heart throbs!"
Ash hums thoughtfully for a moment. “If y’all are both willing to, let’s do it! Poly heartthrobs are exactly what this school needs!”
Reed gently slapped Seeba's face in excitement and whispered: "Irl Karlnapity, not sad!" They tapped their nose in thought. "I think I'm Karl, though I don't know which ones you would be." Somehow, they also managed to add a :( into a verbal conversation what the fuck.
“Seeb, I think you’re Big Q,” Ash decides with a grin. “Partially on account of your height,” they add. “Which makes me Sapnap!”
"Wait, wait, I'm taller than both of you, right? Oh, this is so pog! My spouses dash partners dash fiances are so short!" Reed squeals, tapping Seeba's face again.
“Vertically challenged,” Ash corrects, paired with a tap to Reed’s nose. “Or fun-sized, petite, I’ll even accept smol.”
"Tiny, tiny litol baby, look at my tiny partner everyone! They're so small, bite sized!"
“They’ll bite too.”
“I’m not even that short! I’m 5’5, that’s above average!”
Reed giggled and stuck out their tongue. "Baby, baby, so small, look at them, two inches is a lot shorter than 5'7!"
"They're 'bite you' sized."
“Exactly, you better watch your ankles, love.”
"…" There was a silence before the inevitable was said. "Kinky. I'm into it."
“God damn it, Reed.” Ash sighs, shaking their head. “What else was I expecting?”
Reed patted Ash's face and smiled widely. "No idea, you shouldn't expect anything less from me."
"Then there's me at 5'6."
"You know… Mosis, I love ya, but that's still pretty short."
"Im 5'1" :)"
"Tiny! Tiny! I will pick you up and spin you around like a little ragdoll! Little ragdoll baby!" Reed clapped their hands and stood up, bouncing a bit on their heels and waving their arms.
"I know my ABCs thank you."
Ash clasps their hands together in delight, beaming at Seeba. “At least we can both agree that Seeb is tiny! So small and cute, Seeb will receive many pats upon the head!”
"Lil baby man? Lil pea-sized baby man?? cant count past 6???"