Emily kept banging her head against her desk until she eventually caved and shut her journal. She then began hastily and, somewhat, frantically typing something up on her computer. She didn't even take moments to thnk about what she was typing, she just kinda… went for it, per se.
Ash, who was previously asleep face-down on the desk, perks up as Reed sits down. “Hey, Reed! How are the frogs, mate?”
A cloud of sadness passed over Reed's face and they wiped away a single tear that was falling down their face. "… Unfortunately our children have died. They lived a good life."
Ash gasps, tears welling up in their eyes. “At least they died doing what they did best,” they whisper. “Being adorable.” Ash finally opens their laptop, starting to type furiously.
"Oh god what're you doing-" They leaned over to peer at what Ash was typing. "If this is our divorce papers I'm so sorry."
"Woah- hol' up-" MJ slaps her hands on her desk, turning to face Reed and Ash. "If Reed is my twin, and if Reed is married to Ash that makes Ash my sibling-in-law which means that we should probably invite Reed to our Olive Garden date, Ash."
I sit there in confusion as it all goes down. "Dang. Reed, when you pick up Ash? Wish I was that lucky." I joked.
"Hold on, I'm married to Ash."
I look over at my baby appple pie,
"Ash, What the fuck?
“Reed, they’re not divorce papers, I’m writing a poem. For the frogs.” Ash pauses and turns to Seeba, blinking a few times to clear the sleep from their eyes. “Honeybun, it’s not what it looks like, it’s like-“ Ash takes a breath and continues. “I don’t even know what it looks like but I still love the both of you.”
Zero looked over, confused. "Divorced frogs? I beg your pardon?" He looked back over at Moss. "Um also, I'm not sure what we're doing. I walked in not too long ago so I'm just as confused as you are."
“The frogs aren’t divorced,” Ash explains. “Reed and I were supposed to share custody of the frogs, but they’ve sadly passed.”
"May they rest in peace," said Moss solemnly, leaning over their desk to tune into the conversation.
"Ash are you cheating on me- Wait no it's with Seebs, Seebs deserves Love. All the Love is stored in the Seebs. I'm a tad delirious." Reed gave a thumbs up and a very unconvincing nod.
"We could be the polyamorus school heart throbs!"
Ash hums thoughtfully for a moment. “If y’all are both willing to, let’s do it! Poly heartthrobs are exactly what this school needs!”
Reed gently slapped Seeba's face in excitement and whispered: "Irl Karlnapity, not sad!" They tapped their nose in thought. "I think I'm Karl, though I don't know which ones you would be." Somehow, they also managed to add a :( into a verbal conversation what the fuck.
“Seeb, I think you’re Big Q,” Ash decides with a grin. “Partially on account of your height,” they add. “Which makes me Sapnap!”
"Wait, wait, I'm taller than both of you, right? Oh, this is so pog! My spouses dash partners dash fiances are so short!" Reed squeals, tapping Seeba's face again.
“Vertically challenged,” Ash corrects, paired with a tap to Reed’s nose. “Or fun-sized, petite, I’ll even accept smol.”
"Tiny, tiny litol baby, look at my tiny partner everyone! They're so small, bite sized!"
“They’ll bite too.”
“I’m not even that short! I’m 5’5, that’s above average!”
Reed giggled and stuck out their tongue. "Baby, baby, so small, look at them, two inches is a lot shorter than 5'7!"
"They're 'bite you' sized."
“Exactly, you better watch your ankles, love.”