This was out of pure boredom
Ava: ignores child
Charlie: I'm sorry… what?
Lucas: No, now scram kid
Jax: Are you lost?
Matthew: Poor kid. I'll go find your parents.
Micheal: Do I look like a-!
Bonita: No. W-who are you?
Valerie: I expect you'd know what your parents look like by now.
Emerald: I can be
Annette: Who's kid is this
Colton: No, but I can find your parents
Hasuko: please go back to the waiting room
Kelly: I ain't got no fucking kids!
Emma; I'm far too young to be a mom
Tori: No, I'm not.
Aaron: (laughing) Wow I can't believe I got mistaken for some kid's dad
Darrell: Who are you?
Claire: I apologize, but no.
Elijah: No, I'll help you find them though
Hunter: There's been some sort of mix-up. Whatever, c'mere. I find your parents
Amerly: Fret not, youngling. I shall find your mommy and daddy!
Cien: Pretends he didn't hear that
Briar: No, look over there.
Flonnel: You poor thing? Let me take care of you until your parents are back.
Noelle: bear her fangs Boo!
Blevin: Don't worry, I'll find your parents
Lucielle: Are you lost, kid?
Janice: No… I'm sorry. I have to go
Jane: Kid, I'm literally in middle school
Jacob: No, this is a funeral. WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! PLEASE DON'T CRY! IT ISN'T YOUR PARENTS! FUNERAL.
The Promised Fox Mask: Deadass?
Theo: This is a high school!
Cleo: Whoa, that's a bit of a jump
Skylar: No… Wanna see my horse riding videos
Elliott: I'm sorry but no.
No-Name: Am I?
William: Kids aren't even allowed inside the building.
Marionette: I expected you to be older by now
Tyler: You good, kid?
Crystal: No. It's not like I could handle a kid
Mason: Umm no, could we be related?!
Duke: No worries kid, we'll figure it out
Fern: Yes. takes the child and raises it as her own
Christi: Bruh, do I look-
Ivrin: Uh… What's your mom's name?
Elidi: no sweetie, but let's see if we can find them..
Robin: uhhhhhhhh……Elidi? help?
Maggie: how bout you look over there? that looks like it could be them
Ali: what the shit is that. why is it doing the water from the eyes thing? and being loud? Elidi?
Aideen: Uh…no? Do you need help finding your parents? Panicking internally?
Amara: Why don't we go find them? Lifts child onto her shoulders Can you see them?
Silas: No. Go away.
Alexandra: Look of disapproval. Do I look like a mother to you? Get lost.
Simon: I am not, but your parent must have pretty cool hair! Let's go find them.
CJ: I am now!
Logan: No. Uhh…where did you last see them?
Dean: What's your name kiddo? hoists them onto his shoulders and starts shouting their name to attract the parents
Henry: Oh dear god, no. But I shall help you find them shouting DID ANYONE LOSE A SMALL CHILD?
Madeline: Ew, gross.
Ava: Oh, I am not. Do you need help?
Peter: I was not trained for this. Uh… breaks out into a sprint
James: Nope, but I can help you find them!
Xavier: Are you a demon spawn? Then no. Get the hell away from me.
Rossetta: Oh, hello there are you lost?
Child: Grabs end of haori
Rossetta: Oh, it's ok sweety. Are you hungry? I have a resurant down the street if you want to eat.
Child: yes, please.
Rossetta: Let's go then.
Amber(a small fairy): eek a small people! Please don't hurt me.
Amber: AAAHH flies away screaming
Alyssa: Awww! Pulls out gun I have shit to do go away.
Sally: Aww! Hey come with me I can teach you how to be a pirate! continues to raise a pirate
Ruthie: I’ll help you find you parents small human! drop kicks child into the sun
Paisley: [confused blinking] No… I am not. But uh- [internally] shit what do I do, I can't leave this child alone but I got stuff to do uhhhhhhhhhh May, take care of this kid.
Abel: [stares at the child] … [slowly smiles] [takes out a knife] [promptly gets dragged away by Paisley]
Rhyda: I dunno, I'm blind.
Shea: No. Wait- Yeah, no. I am not. Eat ass and smoke grass, kid. [pats them on the head and marches off]
May: [crouches down on the kids level but avoids eye contact] No, hon, I'm not your mom, but I can help you find yours if that's fine with you.
Felix: Kid, you wish I was your daddy. [promptly gets yelled at by Paisley]
Tyr: picks up the child, takes him to the nearest Lost And Found, drops him in the box and leaves They should come by soon, don't worry!
Owen: snorts I am most definitely NOT your dad. Fern? Whatdoido?
Shai: No, I'm not your mom. Do I LOOK like your mom? shoves whatever food she'd been eating into her mouth using her pharyngeal jaws, which looks quite scary, then turns back to the kid Okay, let's go find the- Why are you running away? I was trying to help!
Fern: sighs, takes the kid by the hand and goes to make posters for the kid, runs around shouting for the parents of the kid, and literally does not rest until she finds their parents
Luke: takes the kid to Disneyland, then calls the kid's parents explaining where he was
Circe: She's dead, leave me alone.
Raje: No. *points to Livvy** she is
Livvy: Gosh, what I would have killed to think my mother was some stranger and not a blood thirsty gargoyle who wanted me dead
Yara: I AM FUDGING 11–DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER!!??
Kip: Mic can have you
Mic: Please no. I think I am allergic
Aster: Only if Circe will be my wife *sighs dreamily**
Aster: Very well child, go dig a whole or whatever
Sashay: gently takes their hand Come here kid, let's find your real mama.
Lorrehlyl: Um… no, definitely not stumbles back, slightly terrified
Lorreth: I can be. Hey Cliff, you have a new sibling now!
Gregory: Lorreth you can't just adopt a random child. Com'n, let's find your parents kiddo.
Golden Glimmer: I am a lynx. I don't know what you're expecting from me.
Tiak: hisses with slight confusion what is this? Humans aren't supposed to be this short!
Blaze: Oh hell no- I mean, oh hello!
Blaze, under her breath: goddammit blaze, you've only had this child two seconds and you're already swearing at them! children shouldn't hear the word 'hell' oh my god
Blaze, visibly sweating: uh, we'd better find your real parents
Qili: Oh dear lord absolutely not. You can have all my chocolate if you never speak to me again
Ceryn: I'm not, but I can definitely help you find them. Where did you see them last? What do they look like?
Riyah: Oh no, I'm not your parent! Are you lost? Here, have a hug.
Nova: I am now, I guess! Want to stay up all night?
Evaryx: I- no. but I shall not rest until I find your actual parent.
Andrew: ..What? Are you blind, kid? Do I look old enough to be your dad? … Whatever. I'll help you find your parents, just stop wailing like a baby.
Canarie: Oh… I'm not your mom, sorry. But don't worry, everyone gets confused sometimes. Your mom's gotta be around here, so don't cry. I'll help you find her, 'kay?
Rin: No, but I can find them, easy peasy! Finding lost kids' parents is one of my many talents, haha! (lifts child to her shoulders) Let's see if we can find her!
Iris: How do you confuse me for your mom?! Ugh, I really don't wanna help this kid… Here, have a candy and stop crying!!! I'll help you find her, so quit crying!!
Jackie: Sorry, I'm not your dad. I can help you find him, though. My dog's pretty good at tracking.
Leo: …? (internal panics) …! (has found child's mom) (darts towards her with child) … (leaves without a word)
Birdy: No. But I did see her right outside that toyshop, looks like she's pretty worried. Go. Don't worry your mom more than what she already is.
Benny: This is must be one of my challenges! Yeah sure, kid, I'm gonna find ya mom no matter what! I'm already pretty fast so it should be easy! Yeah!!!
Chester: Staring at child uneasy What is that?…
Lincoln: Ah, no I am not your father. Though I do have two if you'd like to share.
Harli: I've recently become a dad to a lot of kids, what's one more.
Landers: Better question. Are you mine?
The heir: You think I'd raise such slop as you are?
Oscar: I'm eleven.
Ode: um. gives child awkward pat on the head no…
Marine: What? (wasn't paying attention)
Vanya will try to ignore the child to the best of his ability. Of course, there are few things that Vanya is good at, but ignoring is not one of them. After a certain amount of time, assuming the child has stayed there he will break.
Vanya: Where…where is your parents? (He will kneel, trying to remain at level with the child. I’m not your father. At least I hope not (He adds on in a whisper). I’ll…follow me, I know people who can help you. I’m really not good at this (He says to himself in another whisper)
Vanya will noticeably look nervous the entire encounter.
Zuzana: What are you doing here? This is no place for a child…although that would be hypocritical of me to say, considering I grew up here. Well, I’m not your mother, but you might as well be in my care for now. I’ll find your parents. Come now. Just please don’t touch anything.
Nevken: Kid…I’m not your father. I barely just became an adult. My sister is much better at this stuff. I think. This is no place for a child anyways. Come with me, but please stay close.
Skyler: Punts child aggressively
Stormchaser: No, but I'll help you find them!
Phoenixwing: Nope! Let's look for them together! :)
Blue: No, but we can be best friends! :D
Eira: I will help you find them.
Ivy: Definitely not.
Julian: Grabs the child's hand Let's go look for your parent's sweetie Resisting the urge to adopt another child
Bane: Awww, a lost child! How adorable! Walks away before he punts the kid
Jax: Do I look like I'm fit to be a father?
Gwen: Internal monologue: "Smile and back away"
Val: HELL YEAH, A LOST CHILD! I mean.. I'll help you find them Sweating
Amity: Cocks an eyebrow No, but you're too young to be out here by yourself. Come on, let's find your parents
Nathaniel: Laughs like a total maniac and brandishes a knife Lunch
Ender: I wonder if you're one of my half-bred children Suspicious look
Alaska: YES YES YES! YOU ARE NOW MINE!
Eris: Disgusted look Get out of my proximity
Nikolas: I'll help you find your way home Sinister smile and leads the child to a portal to hell
Daralin: no, but I'm in the market for adoption
Enid: no, I couldn't have a kid as ugly as you (child begins to cry) NONONO IM SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT
Kirae: aww, you're so cute, do you need help?
Charvor: no. now go away. stop trying to grab my sleeve. stop it. (pulls out sword and threatens the child)
Quarien: yeah. they went that way. (points to a massive chasm that the child will surely fall to their doom in)
Landor: uh, no. honestly, you're probably an orphan now. (sees child's expression) what? did I say something?
Matilda: (she's 15) I'm literally a child??? why are you asking me this??
Eleanor: No, hun. Do you need help finding your mom?
Vados: raises his eyebrow Whose irresponsible spineless person's child is this?
Oliver: You're going to have to accept the harsh reality that your parents are probably dead. I'll tell you from personal experience that it is a hard reality to accept but you'll get over it.
Elise: No but I can help you find your real parents
The Judge: I am now! (snatches up the child and raises it as his own)