forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @GoodThingGoing group

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Oleander: Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate
Titania:…I was having a good day
Oberon, through gritted teeth: We were all having a good day

Trinity: Would you sleep with Carter for $100,000?
Louis: Hmm. Would I have to pay him all at once or could I pay by installments?
Louis, five seconds later: oH-

Lyra: As a serial killer my name would be 'the suspense'.
Lyra: So victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me!"
Lyra: And then I would get the last laugh right before I kill them.
Dima: … what the hell?

Henry, to Victor: Are you a writer? You have such an interesting vocabulary.
Alice: No, he's just pretentious.

Marian, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Oscar, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Marian:
Marian: Is Nathaniel under the bed?
Nathaniel, muffled: No

Oscar: Patrick, what do we do?!
Douglas: I don’t know!
Miette: You're the oldest!
Douglas: Not mentally!

Kristi: Are we-
Kristi: Hits the woah
Kristi: Ready to go now?
Matthew:…..I do not feel safe in this vehicle.

Samuel: We can't steal a ship!
Nich: We stole Ilona.
Samuel: Nich, Ilona is a person. They can do whatever they want. And they wanted to come with us.
Ilona: I want to steal a ship.

Alessandra: How the hell did you two get thrown in the dungeons?
Percy: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Aristotle: When the guards stopped us he asked "papers?" and Percy replied with "scissors" and ran off.
Percy: You snitch.

Nathaniel: Every day…I suffer because I lie…I feel so guilty for my lies and the reason for them…if the world knew, what would they think of me..?
Oscar: Damn it, I almost outed myself because I couldn’t resist a gay joke again-
That's it that's their entire relationship after Nathaniel takes the throne-

Percy: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.
Percy: …I mean irresistible.

Percy: Are we friends again?
Oscar: No….we're brothers.
Percy: That was terrifying. Don't pause like that.

Percy: What are you doing later?
Alessandra: Having my night ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do.

Peter: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're very hot and it's making me uncomfortable.
Kate: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou hast no class.

Beck: I want to sleep for like 40 hours.
Marisol: You know that's a coma, right?
Beck: God, that sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Jon: What are you writing?
Oliver: Well, the Duchess wants to know what kind of weaponry we have on hand. I’m just letting her know that that's private information.
Jon: This just says "fuck around and find out."
Oliver: Mhm :)

Eleanor, to Arthur and Christopher: Your awkwardness bonds you for life.

Casey: They call me coffee ‘cause I grind so fine.
Marisol: Oh my God.
Harper: They call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 am.
Marisol: Ew, stop.
Beck: They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and people don’t like me without changing some aspect of who I am.
Marisol: …Oh.

Oberon: Accept your flaws, you'll feel better. It worked for me.
Titania: You accepted your flaws?
Oberon: No, I accepted yours.

Kate: I like that we say "oh, man" to express disappointment. Because men are disappointing.

Robin: We need a plan. How long can you hold your breath?
Titania: I don't know, a minute?
Robin: Not long enough. Aspen, are you familiar with the technique "slam and cram"?
Aspen: No, and I don't think I want to be.
Robin: …Oberon, how attached are you to your pinky?
Oberon: Very very much attached, and for the record, I will not be going through with any plan with any vaguely terrifying question.

Casey, at 5 AM: Beckett, wake up!
Beck: I'm not sleeping, I'm dead. Keep your goddamn flowers and get out.

Louis: Good morning! The gods have let me live another day and I’m about to make it the monarchy's problem.

Calla: Are you decent?
Oleander: Morally? No. But I am wearing pants if that's what you mean.

Georgie: Damn it, I burned my hand!
Christopher: You idiot. That’s because you’re not being care-
Georgie: Puts his hand over Christopher's heart
Georgie: Ahh, so nice and cold.
Hits different when you know Christopher's backstory, oof-

Yasopp, to Peregrine: Are you a writer? You have such an interesting vocabulary.
Shanks: No, she's just pretentious.

Law: So, how did you two get captured by Marines?
Penguin: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Jax: When they stopped us, they asked "papers?" and Penguin replied with "scissors" and ran off.
Penguin: You little snitch.

Marie, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Richard, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Marie:
Marie: Is Henry under the bed?
Henry, muffled: No

Marie: So, how did you two get captured by the king's men?
Henry: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Richard: When they stopped us, they asked "papers?" and Henry replied with "scissors" and ran off
Henry: You little snitch.

Henry: Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate
Cosette:…I was having a good day
Marie, through gritted teeth: We were all having a good day

Nathaniel, knocking on Oscar's door: Oscar, open up!
Oscar: It all started when I was a kid…
Nathaniel: No, I mean-
Marian: Let him finish.

Geneva: I think I'm losing my voice.
Jackson: Ha, guess that means you can't yell at us anymore.
Later in the day
Jackson: Turns out Geneva's scarier when she's quiet.

Reporter: So let’s talk romance now. Are there any men in the picture?
Beatrice, leaning forward seriously: Tell me every aspect of my personality that made you assume I was straight so that I can change it immediately.

Samuel: Do you have a plan to get us out of here alive?
Nich: Sort of. The idea starts with "run for it" and generally goes downhill from there.

( @ccb you should join us!)

(Oh my GOD I prove to be illiterate again, you commented on the first page and I somehow missed it, sorry! Me @'ing you probably came off as whiny or something but that wasn't what I meant, I just figured your characters would vibe well here and I missed that you already posted-)

Ren: Hey, do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Elyas: You're a hazard to society.
Chan: And a coward. Do 20.
…..
Chan: Beauty is in the eye of whoever is looking at me.
…..
Ren: Welcome to Applebees, would you like apples or bees?
Elyas: B-bees?
Ren: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES
Elyas: Wait-
[Chan walks in struggling to keep the cover on a platter that is loudly buzzing]
Elyas: WAIT-
…..
Zephyr, still awake at 3am: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Chan, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:
…..
[In a groupchat]
Ren: The first one to reply is gat
Ren: *gay
Ren: Wait

( @ccb you should join us!)

(Oh my GOD I prove to be illiterate again, you commented on the first page and I somehow missed it, sorry! Me @'ing you probably came off as whiny or something but that wasn't what I meant, I just figured your characters would vibe well here and I missed that you already posted-)

nonono lol not at all i couldn't even remember if i commented on this one or the last one!! i took it as a very friendly invitation and appreciated it a lot :')

( @ccb you should join us!)

(Oh my GOD I prove to be illiterate again, you commented on the first page and I somehow missed it, sorry! Me @'ing you probably came off as whiny or something but that wasn't what I meant, I just figured your characters would vibe well here and I missed that you already posted-)

nonono lol not at all i couldn't even remember if i commented on this one or the last one!! i took it as a very friendly invitation and appreciated it a lot :')

Oh okay, that's good!

Dallas: I always thought my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it’s a cringe compilation.

Ara: Stop it! Do you want me to never talk to you again?!
Andor:
Arat: What?
Andor: Hang on, I'm considering.

Holly: climbing the counter to reach something
Holly: parkour

Crispin: I will not hesitate to strangle you.
Kit: Can you even reach my neck?

Holly: *Posts a beach selfie on instagram* Living my best life <3
Jackie: Brian is drowning.
Holly: This ain't about him.
I wanna draw this

Milo: Beauty is in the eye of whoever is looking at me.

[In a groupchat]
Andor: The first one to reply is gat
Andor: *gay
Andor: Wait

Milo: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.
Milo: …I mean irresistible.

Andor: What are you doing later?
Ara: Having my night ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do.

Gerard: I want to sleep for like 40 hours.
Adelia: You know that's a coma, right?
Gerard: God, that sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Milo: Good morning! The gods have let me live another day and I’m about to make it the monarchy's problem.

Ara: I think I'm losing my voice.
Andor: Ha, guess that means you can't yell at us anymore.
Later in the day
Andor: Turns out Ara's scarier when he's quiet.

Life: wait a minute! you don't go TOWARDS the weird scary sound!
Death: yeah we do. we always do.
Life: i hate that about us

Claudia: do you have a plan to get us out of here alive?
Akito: sort of. the idea starts with "run for it" and generally goes downhill from there

Nomius: alright, does everyone have a weapon?
Apophis: Vorex doesn't have a weapon
Vorex: i AM the weapon

Nomius: everything is going to be alright
Vorex: how can you say that?
Nomius: because sometimes when things get tough, denial is all we have

Brad: jail's no fun
Akito: you've been in jail?
Brad: once, in monopoly

Carmen, answering a phone: hello?
Brad: it's Brad
Carmen: what did he do this time?
Brad: no, it's me, Brad. it's actually me.
Carmen: what did you do this time

jesse: what can i say? i’m charming and irresponsible.
jesse: …i mean irresistible
—
silas: i always thought my life was a tragedy. now i realize it’s a cringe compilation
—
page: i’ve only slept nine hours in the past four days, so i’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown
page: [bites the cuff]
page: this isn’t a bagel
—
silas: i’m going to bed
august: but it’s noon?
silas: time isn’t real
—
page: excuse me miss have you ever been arrested?
darcy: yeah
page: i was gonna say “because it’s illegal to be that cute” but now i’m curious
darcy: aggravated assault

Cyrus: Are you going to help, or are you too pretty?
Jack: I’m too pretty

Quill: As a serial killer my name would be 'The Suspense'.
Quill: So victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me!"
Quill: And then I would get the last laugh right before I kill them.
Anthony: …What the hell?

Aria: Excuse me, miss, have you ever been arrested?
Cyrus: Yeah
Aria: I was gonna say “because it’s illegal to be that cute” but now I’m curious
Cyrus: Aggravated assault

Emmett, writing to The Sandman: I hope this letter finds you before I do

Nell: Excuse me, miss, have you ever been arrested?
Therese: Yeah
Nell: I was going say “because it’s illegal to be that cute” but now I’m curious
Therese: Aggravated assault

Lord Arnol, writing to Michael: I hope this letter finds you before I do

nabila: four is the only number that has the same value as the number of letters it has
kacey: to?
–
karuko: physically i'm in my bedroom but mentally i'm on an island in greece singing abba
–
karuko, hitting her arm on a table: ow, my armkle!
kacey: your fucking what?
nabila, sighing: her wrist
–
kacey: i may be short but that doesnt mean i'm innocent!
kacey: aggressively trying to open a caprisun
karuko:
karuko: would you like me to open that for you?
kacey: voice cracking yes
–
kacey: sure showed those guys huh?
kacey: did you see how uncomfortable they got when i started crying
–
nabila: listen karuko, i'm not the kind of friend who, you know, does things… or says stuff… or looks at you… but the love is there. happy birthday.
–
karuko: as long as you're doing what you're supposed to do, you don't have to attend classes. that's the law of society.
–
kacey: i've got this completely under control!
nabila: is that why everything's on fire?
–
kacey: fugitive or not, it's nice to be wanted
–
kacey: y'know, nabila is so tall
karuko: i wonder what she sees up there
nabila, from the other side of the room: everyone’s flaws.
–
karuko: well, you know, i’m slammed this week. see? tomorrow: take a smoke break, wednesday: take a smoke break, thursday: commit vehicular manslaughter, friday: take a smoke break—i’m booked solid!
–
karuko to nabila: everyday you teach me something new about art and history
karuko: and why i shouldn’t eat everything that smells good because sometimes it’s candles
—
i think i went a bit overboard djshshsfh

Artimae: Listen, we tried things your way–
Eris: No we didn't.
Artimae: We did in my head and it didn't work.

Eris: What can I say? I’m charming and irresponsible.
Eris: …I mean irresistible

Artimae, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Kaz, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Artimae:
Artimae: Is Eris under the bed?
Eris, muffled: No

Skyke: I always thought my life was a tragedy. Now I realize it’s a cringe compilation.

Artimae: You are supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Icarus: Why?
Artimae: I'm told it is a widely accepted gesture of mutual success.
Eris: It's fun when you two try to impersonate normal people.

Eris: Peer pressure me into completing tasks
Kaz: Do it or you’re straight
Eris: I SAID PEER PRESSURE NOT THREATEN-

Icarus: I can't seem to do anything right now.
Eris: I never thought I'd have to say this, but there’s only space in this family for one unstable sibling.
Eris: I’ve held that title for a very long time, so you’re going to have to get it together.

Artimae: I just tried making my own Red Bull with crushed-up caffeine pills, sparkling water, and Flintstones chewable vitamins.
Artimae: Apparently, Skyke thinks I'm "lucky to be alive"

Jackson: Physically I'm at work, but mentally I'm on Washington Island singing ABBA

Geneva: Listen, Jackson, I'm not the kind of friend who, you know, does things…or says stuff… or looks at you… but the love is there. Happy birthday.

Beck: As long as you're doing what you're supposed to do, you don't have to attend classes. That's the law of society.

Claire: I can't seem to do anything right now.
Victor: I never thought I'd have to say this, but there’s only space in this family for one unstable sibling.
Victor: I’ve held that title for a very long time, so you’re going to have to get it together.

Izzy: I just tried making my own Red Bull with crushed-up caffeine pills, sparkling water, and Flintstones chewable vitamins.
Izzy: Apparently Francesca thinks I'm "lucky to be alive"

Chan: Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. We're about to be experiencing some heavy turbulence, so please strap in.
Chan: Ren just bet that I can't do a 360 degree barrel roll, and let's just say I'm about to be 10 bucks richer soon.
…..
Ren: One vanilla ice cream please. I have my own cone [places cone on counter]
Employee: Ma'am, this is a traffic cone-
Ren: Is this my ice cream or your ice cream?
…..
Elyas: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?
Chan: No, I don't like the way it tastes.
Elyas: Wait, you eat shaving cream-
Chan: No- why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?
…..
Zephyr: If you have 10 cookies, and I take half, how many do I have?
Ren: 10
Zephyr: What? No I-
Ren: I'd give them all to you if you wanted.
Zephyr, crying: Oh
…..
Chan: If you have 10 cookies, and a friend took 5, how many cookies would you have left?
Elyas: [tears up]
Elyas: A… a friend
…..
Zephyr: Well, you know, change is inedible.
Ren: I think you mean, 'inevitable'?
Zephyr: [spitting out nickles] Nope.
…..
Ren: Wait, people actually tell their crushes they like them?
Elyas: Of course, what do you do?
Ren: I die. What sort of question-
…..
Chan: You know what they say. Go big or go home.
Elyas: Please go home. Chan, I am begging you to go home. For once in your life just please go home-
Chan, whispering: I'm gonna go big.

Artimae: You know what they say. Go big or go home.
Kaz: Please go home. Artimae, I am begging you to go home. For once in your life just please go home-
Artimae, whispering: I'm gonna go big.

Skyke: I don’t have the energy for this.
Icarus: For what?
Skyke: [gestures vaguely]

Skyke: I'm having a midlife crisis.
Eris: You're 28.

Kaz: Sure showed those guys, huh?
Kaz: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying

Kaz: Having something to take care for can improve one’s mental health.
Skyke: Like a kid?
Kaz:
Kaz: Yeah, but I was thinking more like a plant or—
Skyke: I already have you, Artimae, Eris, and Icarus, and I don’t see how it’s improving my mental health in any way.

Orion, after watching six horror movies in a row: Hey demons, it's me ya boi.
~
Grayson: I did it, I've connected the dots.
Vincent: You didn't connect shit, but-
Grayson: No, I have connected them.
~
Haeil: So Kangmin and I marathoned Disney movies and…do you think rats can learn to cook?
Jack: You aren't that bad at cooking so you learned.
~
Hyungwon: I sentence you to ten years in jail.
Jaesung: Is there anything I can do (unbuttons shirt) to change your mind?
Hyungwon: 20 years.
~
Adrian: What's the word for horny, but not in a sexual way. Like I'm horny for Halloween, but I don't wanna fuck a pumpkin, you know?
Matthew: I think the word you are looking for is "excited".

page: I just tried making my own red bull with crushed-up caffeine pills, sparkling water, and flintstones chewable vitamins.
page: apparently, august thinks i'm "lucky to be alive"
—
silas: wait, people actually tell their crushes they like them?
page: of course, what do you do?
silas: i die. what sort of question-
—
christelle: i can't seem to do anything right now.
august: i never thought i'd have to say this, but there’s only space in this family for one unstable sibling.
august: i’ve held that title for a very long time, so you’re going to have to get it together.

Quinn: I think I'm losing my voice.
Parker: Ha, guess that means you can't yell at us anymore.
Later in the day~
Andor: Turns out Quinn's scarier when she's quiet.

-

Brooke: And now, for a poem.
Brooke: On Valentine's Day, The young couples mingle, To make fun of Parker, Because he is still single.

-

Jackson: Be nice!
Quinn: I am.
Jackson: You just threatened Parker with a knife!
Quinn: Yeah, but I didn't stab him.

-

Arla: crouching over in pain
Jackson: What happened?
Arla: …nothing?
Jackson: I promise, I won't freak out if you tell me.
Arla: I just stubbed my toe on the table-
Jackson: WHICH TABLE?!?

-

Jackson: Hey, whatcha' doing?
Brooke: Just eating a family sized bag of chips.
Jackson: But… that's a small bag?
Brooke: While stuffing her mouth with chips Every bag of chips is family sized if you're an orphan.
Jackson: Brooke…

Juniper: I sentence you to ten years of banishment.
Oleander, unbuttoning his shirt: Is there anything I can do to change your mind?
Juniper:
Juniper: 20 years.

Oleander: What's the word for horny, but not in a sexual way. Like I'm horny for Halloween, but I don't wanna fuck a pumpkin, you know?
Calla: I think the word you are looking for is "excited".

(Fire Blanket 11- These Bitches be about to go to heaven💅(its me I'm bitches) )

Pan- Lee: look!
York: God- ew- take it away!
Pan- Lee: oh come on, look, it’s so big and sticky!
York: I don’t want it!
Pan- Lee: but…
York: I’m not a child! I will not play with your stupid slime collection!
———————
Kouji: hey bro
Zackeri: yes?
Kouji: can you pass me the pamphlet?
Zackeri, correcting him: "brochure"
Kouji: Thank you :)
Zackeri:
———————
Robin: Alfie and I sleep together
DetLev: and?
Robin: ..I thought you’d be more shocked
DetLev: [shocked voice] and?
———————
Phoenix: this date is boring
Kira: this is not a date, I said I was going for a walk
Phoenix: then why did you invite me?
Kira: I specifically told you not to come with me but you said “I do what I want” and followed me here
———————
Oliver: when I found Markus, he swepted in and saved me from my fate!
Kuroko: I found Nathan crying outside a Tesco's at 3am.
———————
Kouji: I dare you to kiss the cutest person in this room!
DetLev: Ren?
Ren: …yeah…?
DetLev: can you move, please? I can't see Kichiro.
———————
[ordering cake over the phone]
“And what would you like the cake to say?”
Felix: [covers phone to ask Eliott]
Felix: Do we want a talking cake?
———————
Kuma: I’m inviting you to Daneil and I's wedding!
Lance and York: your wedding???
Daneil: our wedding???
———————
Memphis: Leaf? you’re still awake?
Shane: it’s not that late.
Memphis: it’s 2am! what time do you usually go to bed?
Shane: 5am.
Memphis: you wake up at 7am!
Shane:
Shane: 5am.
———————
Dennis: why aren't you in a relationship, Runner?
Craig: i'm not looking for a relationship right now.
Dennis: Huh, what about you?
Jay: 'cause Craig's not looking for a relationship right now
———————
Kouji: i'm a wanted man!
Robin: that's not possible, you weren't even a wanted child.
Kouji: -