forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

DAMN I sorry Bec

Yeah, SAME, since Guys let me down T ~ T

cishet men 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

also bec that sounds reALLY complicated and heartbreaking

poly relationships are just…

not ragging on the poly folk here but it’s definitely complicated

Agreed, but like… cishet guys
My SO is a bi amab enby who is fine with masculine descriptors and such, and they're great. But cishet guys sometimes are just out here treating their SO like shit.

Yup. I don't mind Being my Poly self, But we need HEALTHY partners that understand Depression and Anxiety is a thing

Yeah, I mean, I would never be in a poly relationship again. That said, it's definitely her that was toxic and not the existence of a poly relationship.
I'm not even the one who got hurt, I'm just pissed on behalf of others.

It has been nearly a year since my last panic/breakdown. My car oil light was on and i had to call roadside instead of going to class, but i thought i would be fine cause ive called the number before and the guy was nice and sent a mechanic to come help me right away. This time they guy asked me for a bunch of numbers and didn't clarify which ones very well or where to find them, and ofc im trying to focus on not crying and trying to find these damn numbers, so they guy says he'll put me on hold for a few min to tlook up my car. 34 min later i get a woman who has kids screaming in the background and keeps cutting out. She starts asking for more numbers and all my insurance info and when I am confused she gets really snarky (like not knowing where my city is despite the roadside number being local and saying things like "well i doubt you got your car in canada" when I have no idea what im trying to explain cause she keeps cutting out) then she put me on hold for another 10 min and I got sent back to the starting tone. So i called the local shop to see and the guy just said "uhhh, call a tow." which is fair cause at this point i doubt im talking slow enough to be understood. So im sitting in my car in this lovely weather trying to juggle through my 3 friends and see if any of them know what to do and my dad who is working and busy and i shouldn't be bothering him. Its been an hour and a half and the light turned off so i drove home and decided to deal with it later

tdlr anxiety incarnate had to make several phone calls that got progressively worse and problem still isnt fixed

_{and now my friends want to be on call in a game but if i join i might cry and if i dont they might be mad cause they dont know i have anxiety, even though i know they wont actually be mad but my brain hurts rn}

MMMmmm
You know what sucks? When you get odd looks for something you can't fucking control.
This week has been really bad for my tics and both the verbal and physical ones have been more prominent. I've been having my neck tics really sharp and so I've been having like the neck snap a lot, especially during lunch where I'm comfortable.
So it really feels bad when I have a vocal trill and then a neck snap right after eachother and get a weird look for it

You know what also sucks? Having a hyperfixation and then not having any content for that hyperfixation so now I'm trying to I don't know,,, trick my brain into not thinking about that by bringing up an old hyperfixation.

Also, is that a wild Emi I spy? My favorite Emi? It's Reed, lol
I'm tired sorry for le odd wordings

so here's a summary of how my day went today:

someone: [gives me some constructive critism that is much needed]
my brain: is this a personal attack i smell? time to cry now you big ol pissbaby
me: not again-
also me, sniffling: thanks for letting me know, i'll work on it-

well here's my day

me: haha new rav snippet
rav: hits me right in the feels like i knew he would
me: …well fuck

so here's a summary of how my day went today:

someone: [gives me some constructive critism that is much needed]
my brain: is this a personal attack i smell? time to cry now you big ol pissbaby
me: not again-
also me, sniffling: thanks for letting me know, i'll work on it-

this one hurted

Also, is that a wild Emi I spy? My favorite Emi? It's Reed, lol
I'm tired sorry for le odd wordings

it is an emi doing her daily bitching about cishet people

hello Reed, my dear child

But cishet guys sometimes are just out here treating their SO like shit.

ok but why did i feel this

I have nothing against men but somehow cishets manage (ESPECIALLY if they are religious) to be worse??????????

I’m literally not trying to offend I’m just stating fact 💅✨

Ok relating to what I said because I was thinking about it just now. ignore my spam you’re fine

Literally every guy who got close to me at some point has told me to shut up. Yes, even the one you’re thinking of, dear reader. My dad, male friends, and [cishet religious whose name will not be typed again].

Why does every guy who gets close to me think it’s appropriate to tell me to shut up? I came across the realization that a lot of my relationships (and previous ones) got scarily one-sided to say the least, simply because of my willing to listen personality. That same personality thinks people who are used to having the spotlight on them think they have room to tell me my opinion or words are not good enough.

perhaps it’s because I’m just overthinking it, perhaps it’s from me literally being told to shut up from a very young age, but now I myself can’t even say it JOKINGLY without feeling bad. it makes me feel abusive and mean, while these people who have said it to me have barely thought about it.

can I just rewind time and undo my last romantic relationship please

I’m just so over reflecting on it and realizing how bad it was for me

ugh

and I’ll probably end up talking about it more but agaha have a good night friends

Yes, even the one you’re thinking of, dear reader.

Neil deGrasse Tyson?

no but seriously, sorry to hear about that. You deserve like, ya know, basic respect? It's embarrassing for the men in your life that they couldn't even deliver on that.

Also, is that a wild Emi I spy? My favorite Emi? It's Reed, lol
I'm tired sorry for le odd wordings

it is an emi doing her daily bitching about cishet people

hello Reed, my dear child

EMI!!!
I missed you :D

:DD I missed you too Reed!

ugh i feel u on that one emi
cishet men are the WORST

especially the ones who believe they're just "sPrEaDiNg tHe tRuTh"

yeah ok you told me I was going to hell and you were highkey homophobic throughout the entirety of our relationship honey 💅💁‍♀️🤮

just all of this hate for cishet religious men is fantastic thanks for understanding lmao

Fuck those guys

I know i'm putty for cute things BUT I have a stuffy from a freshman!! HE IS SO CUTE Wanna see?

I've been reduced to nonverbal becuase of a "mental health lesson" where they put up SH photos and stories without tw

That's-
What the fuck?? Who do I need to lecture about how dangerous doing that is I'm going to stick my foot where the sun don't shine-

Blame the school district
I'm just,,, not doing good rn
It took me about fifty minutes for my hands to stop shaking as much (Well, they shake already but moreso when triggered)
I have tutoring today, but i just texted my ma to come pick me up becuase of panic attack and nonverbal

tf??? the school should not be doing that??????
especially if it's a mental health class, they should be educated about triggers and shit

who shall rav devour with his mouth eyes

Do you wanna look at my plushie to possibly feel better?

https://s3.amazonaws.com/notebook-content-uploads/content/uploads/original/10cb3797-19e7-4161-bcd3-f9f069574444.jpg?1613676100 tada

CW: death

My drawing teacher just pulled me aside for ten minutes after class to scold me for what? Being satisfied with something I was really proud about.

Bro that’s rough.