forum i just very rudely asked your character "buddy, what's your problem?!"

Started June 02, 2020 by @ccb group

tune

Guess who's back, back again
(Otherworldly surreal beings of power edition!)
Oscar: Danger. Aggression. Attack. splits slowly in half from the crown of his head to reveal a double row of teeth, then a gaping maw from which hundreds of long arms sprout and flail at anything in reach, there is a metallic screaming, the sun has gone dark and the air smells like hot dust
Ernie: Oh no, I am so sorry, please do not be angry with me nice human, I'm not a threat, I promise I won't hurt you, I come in peace, all I need is some donuts and caffeine and then I'm leaving, good human, friendly human, please don't call the people with wee-woo cars
Lily: screams in terror and makes a break for it
Tobias: Nothing. stares up at you blankly Hi, who are you? I'm Tobias, I'm five years old and my favorite animal is jackrabbits. Why are you so angry? Oh, I see. You're not angry, you're just saying mean things to see what I'll do. Well now you know! Want to come meet my pet cactus and play superheroes with me?
William: ….My problem is that you can see me for some reason. How are you doing that? You're human, right? Either way, I'm going to need you to forget you ever saw me, all right? Thank-you.
Saffron: smiles a little too widely Oh no, it looks like I've found another example of how chaos and hatred permeate the human race. Do me a favor and A C Q U I E S C E T O T H E C O L L E C T I V E W I L L S O T H A T Y O U M A Y B E S A V E D , S W E E T M O R T A L

Your otherworldly surreal beings of power are each so unique and full of character. I love them.

ahaha thank-you XD

Azrael: I can and will reap your soul if you don't stop.

Evie: The ever-present knowledge that nothing that you or I will do matters, even though we foolish humans seem to think so. Also this plant. It seems to not want to grow. Could you refer me to a florist?
Veda: My problem is with you and your rude behavior. I am a queen and can and will have you arrested. Screw you~
Keyrala: pulls out a knife Back off. This is a fight that you can’t win. pulls out another knife
Demi: Who do you think you are, bucko? Who are you to question me? Shut your face!
Jasper: Oh, sorry. ‘Scuse me. My bad.
Bethiet: Well, that was rude. Excuse you.
Arissa: Uh…what did I do? laughs
Annike: Are you looking for a fight, you diseased grapeshot moose? Because I can and will fight you. And I can and will win. unsheathes broadsword

@The-Althalosian-The_EccentrLc_VampLre hey i have a silas too! and @-ellia-is-too-introverted- i have an august too!!

@The-Althalosian-The_EccentrLc_VampLre hey i have a silas too! and @-ellia-is-too-introverted- i have an august too!!

awesome! i've always loved that name so much

Someone: Buddy whats your problem.
Aariss: Excuse you. I HAD no problems until I saw your face. Now go away.
Someone: What?
Aariss: See you in court. Your going down.

Chelsea: I mean, I was fine until you asked, but I do have an issue with you not wearing a mask. COVID-19 is not a joke, and here in Massachusetts it's currently illegal to go within 6 feet of a person without a mask. I have spares though, do you need one?
Theo: I have a plethora of problems as most people do, not just one. I would figure that you knew that, but assuming does not typically help situations, and in the case that you are some kind of extraterrestrial being, it would be wrong for me to expect you to understand human social norms, so would you like a thorough explanation of some common human issues?
Cody: shrugs
Meryn: Being alive is enough of a problem, but so are you, asshole. Scram before I taze you.
Aysen: Well, my first problem is that I don't communicate enough, and my second problem is my subconscious kleptomaniac tendencies. proceeds to walk away with your wallet, then realizes what's happening Uh, about that second thing, here's your wallet…

Cass: Me? Problem? Oh, don't be ridiculous. I'm a Chosen One, everything is great now and always. I suppose your problem is that you're not as great as I am. I understand, except I don't.
Teus: I really didn't do anything to confront you, did I do something? Anyways, he's my problem. points to Cass I've had to escort him around for the past month, I don't know how much longer I can stand him.
Amaya: K, looks like I'll be fighting passive-aggressive with passive-aggressive. So why are you making fun of me? Is it because I'm short? Because I may be five feet tall draws enchanted dagger but I will destroy you. Also, I agree with Teus, Cass is a problem, but he's a problem that's easily eliminated. waves dagger casually

Staff: I have multiple issues to confront currently, mostly scheduling tasks at the moment. Not too hard, I don't really have a problem with them, so therefore they aren't really problems, they're more accurately described as undertakings or work. Is that not what you meant? Wait, how can you see any of us? We all exist in the mindspace, none of us have physical forms. Nobody outside of our human should be able to see us…
Hudson: My first problem is that Staff didn't allow me to have chocolate yesterday, and now I'm having withdrawal symptoms. But the way you asked was a little rude, and it makes me wonder whether you're okay. It's okay, we all have problems, do you want to get something off of your chest? I'll listen to you.
Cyrus: I'm starting to get a feeling this is some kind of meta-hypothetical-character-test thing. Is it just me? Eh. Well, it's an opportunity to use a snappy comeback or a one-liner or something, so it would be an opportunity wasted if I didn't go for it now. Well, here's a problem for you: have you ever thought about the fact that every second, two people die, and soon, you'll be a part of that statistic? Yeah, I hope you are now. Have fun sleeping tonight. Also, have you ever thought about the fact that babies have junk? Well, now I'm going to leave you distraught with that. Have a terrible day, loser!
Bailey: starts singing Singing to myself because I'm not uncomfortable at all! I want this moron to get out of my face, but I don't want to directly say that to them so that way they feel even less like a person! It looks like I'm weirding them out which was my plan so I can go and get a doughnut down the street! looks around They're gone!

Melanie; "That is a very good question, currently there is no definitive answer."

alright i started the thread and now i will actually contribute to it!

Page: Buddy, what's your problem? Do you know how jacked my calves are right now? If I kicked you in the nuts you'd literally be impotent.

Darcy: What's my fucking problem? Explain to me why you're not embarrassed right now. No, really, tell me how you feel about the fact that you asked me, a stranger who clearly isn't interested in carrying on a conversation with you, what my problem is. Do you need to act like I'm a bitch so that you don't feel like a boring, nosy, pain-in-the-ass of a human being? Because you are a boring, nosy, pain-in-the-ass of a human being, and maybe when you accept that, you'll lose whatever misguided confidence is pushing you to bother random women in the cafeteria.

August: I don't have a problem, I just like to finish all my work before I go out. If you prefer to write papers hungover, that's your problem.

Thunder: "…? What? I did not say anything", while very surprised.
Sapphire: "Yeah, I've got problems, SO WHAT!?"

(All of the characters below are dragons, and they sometimes use terms some people reading this won't understand. I have ten total, but I'm starting with three.)

Scarab: Glares at you, and flicks her scorpian-like tail "I don't have a problem, but you might if you don't get out of the way."
Ghostspeaker: Gives you an unnervingly calm look "There are multiple futures in which you die, but the most likely one is the most painful. Would you like to know what it is?" (She can see the future.)
Pandora: Seriously? Can't we go one moons-blasted day without ending up in a fight with someone? "Look pal, we don't have time to deal with this right now. Come back when we're not running from some crazy queen and her army!"

Lincoln: * Stares blankly far past the point where it "get's awkward" *

Harli: I certainly don't think I have a problem, though If you need help, I'm happy to.

Oscar: Don't talk to me!

Landers: I still haven't gotten to try a hamburger, it's a big problem.

Chester: * under his breath * Depression…

The prince: I aught to strike you down where you stand for even speaking to me! * Tries to transform into a being of unlimited power to crush them in his fist. and fails. * The only problem is that you aren't dead yet.

Hearst: I- I- * starts falling apart *

Clov: Eh, crippling dysphoria, you?

Landers: I still haven't gotten to try a hamburger, it's a big problem.

If that isn't a mood I dunno what is

August Osborn
“Oh buddy, you wanna know what my problem is, huh? Dontcha wanna know, huh? Wanna know, little buddy? Wanna know what my problem is?” proceeds to go on to say various variations of what he said, just without getting to what his ‘problem’ is, also while making direct eye contact
Or the less common response
kicks them into oblivion, which may not sound that bad at first, but with context of his species given it is

Emies
No words, just a simple glance towards you for a few seconds then leaving.

Renim
Only curls his lips, slowly turning to stare at you. Much like Emies, no words given only silently judging you. Except he doesn’t leave, only looks away. If he’s feeling generous, might even mutter out, “Buddy?”

Valriel
“P-Problem? Why would I have a problem?! There is no problem here, not a single one, _{not a single one at all.. haha..} “
In her mind, she’s be scrambling to figure out what warranted that and how she’d fix it.
Or
Leaves the area in a hurry

Totoli
Looks towards you, up and down. Sniff, before clicking her tongue.
“You would be wise to refrain from speaking to me like that ever again. Do not attempt to play smart with me either.” She’s had her fair share of people that thought they could play games with her.

Mig
“Problem? Problem!? What’s your problem, sweetie?” They’d say that, all the while making close contact with you, invading your personal space.

Vu
Turns towards you very slowly, then just stands there, staring at you.
Or
Just a smile, and wink of the eye.

Holden: No problem here, buddy! Sorry to bother you.
Honey: rolls her eyes Many things. And you have just been added to that list.
Sear: violence ensues

Seana: O-Oh, sorry. I don't want to get in any trouble…
Daphne: gasp Excuse me! Do you know who I am! I am from an esteemed family of witches and this attitude will not be tolerated. I am going to report you to the school staff.
Ryota: Oh… drops things You wanna fight? YoU wAnNa fIgHt Me bRo!?

Storm: (Cries)
Dusty: (The person who said it is now in the hospital)
Mrs. Wood: Well, I have many…but that doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. (2 hour long conversation about flaws, and love)
Ellie: (Doesn't care much as long as you don't hurt anyone)

Nilda: I think the better question would be, what problem do you have with me?
Alais: Your attitude.
Wilfred: I wasn't aware that I had one. Then again, we do all have flaws. Yours is a lack of civility.
Zora: I said "excuse me," you should have moved.
Meryl: That I have to work with people like you.
Imad: Sorry. I'm trying my best.

Like,,, half of my characters: Lot's of unresolved trauma.
The Curator: … I stubbed my toe
The Archavist: The coffee machine broke

Like,,, half of my characters: Lot's of unresolved trauma.

Same

Naomi: "Want the whole list, a general overview, or just a kicked ass?"
CJ: "Considering the circumstances: I could be asking the same of you."
Brandee: "Right now: you are."
Kieron: "What did I do?" (Is genuinely contrite despite having no idea what prompted it.)

Pick: Oh! I'm so sorry about that! I'll make sure that my problems dont exsist next time for you!
FishFry: tears up (Pick burts in with whip to whip the person who said that to her.)
Midnight: Everything…runs hand through hair not knowing it was an insult.

Austin: [glares menacingly until they leave]

Felix: Well since you asked, my gun has been feeling heavy, [draws Desert Eagle] Since you were so kind to ask, you're going to help me unload it!

Jarrod: Sorry, didn't see you there I guess. (If they keep trying to fight him) Look, I don't have time for this, go away. (If they insist further) Fine. [draws gun] Want to fight now asshole? Scram.

Mel: Oh I'm sowwy, did I hurt your feewings? Buzz off asshole, I'm not dealing with you right now.

Crefus: Do you have the entire day?
Vincent: brings out his swords Say it nicer and I'll answer.
Hecate: Do you want that alphabetical or chronological?
Elizabeth: Inside voices! >:/
Jessebelle: Lightning shoots out of her eyes. She says nothing
Sam: I don't know. I'm still trying to find that out.

Knight: I'm supposed to be asking you that!
Mage: Draws a knife and attempts to shank you
Spector: B@TCH!! RUDE!!
Great Knight: …
Wanda: Nothing I can't fix I hope! ^u^
Aunt Mat: t o o m a n y
Brutus: BOI IF U DON'T-
The Twins: 8D they have no idea what you said

Mira: I'm sorry!! Excuse me!! That's my mistake!!
or
kicks you in the knees
Aleza: Also kicks you in the knees
Cerin: distressed and apologetic noises while he makes many apologetic gestures like bowing or shaking his hands
Lucille: Also kicks you in the knees

Hel: BD lmao idk g, it be hard out here in the streets
Hex: CHOMP

Kimber: SORRY SORRY SORRY, I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO-
Kelai: Ha, I have many, you're gonna have to be more specific.
Amber: (has already pickpocketed you)

Alga: Excuse me, i think you're the one with the problem, you just charged into me!
Tavi: Dead silent stares you down Fuck you.
Rothos: That's an interesting question, I think it dates back to my childhood, when I was… Gives you a lecture about what his problem might be

Lincoln: Randomy brakes down and in between sobs says "Why the Hell am I like this? Do I need help?"

Hex: CHOMP

What-