forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @GoodThingGoing group

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Tomas: Martin, oh my God. There was the biggest fucking nerd sitting in your exact seat yesterday.
Martin:
Martin: That was me with my glasses on.

Casey, prank calling: Is your refrigerator running?
Beck, paranoid: What? How did you know I have a fridge?!

Mike: It’s your word against mine.
Jane: Let’s do it.
Mike: What?
Jane: You selected the word 'what.' Big mistake. I choose 'shenanigan.'

Alyssa, texting: Morning, guys. Let's get this bread!
Everett: Please send me a picture of the bread you want. I will see if the store carries it.

Oleander: I wish I could say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply did myself.

Cameron Alexis: So, have you kissed Mabel yet or what?
Joey: No, the moment wasn’t right. Look, I don't even know if she likes me like that! I have to be sure!
Cameron Alexis, sarcastically: Aww, that’s so sweet! So you chickened out like a little bitch?

Cameron Alexis: I have to kill her.
Joey: What?
Cameron Alexis, glaring at Maisy: I don't know how to flirt with her, so she has to die.

Titania: Oberon, quit lurking.
Oberon: I'm not lurking. I'm standing quietly in the shadows.
Titania: You're fucking lurking.

Freddy: I’m a ventriloquist.
Livia: You any good?
Livia: The best.
Livia: What the fuck?

Rista: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

Agnes: What are you doing?
Tasha: 'Helping' Tiodore find his chocolate I ate two hours ago.

Skye: The risk we took was…calculated.
Luc: But holy shit we are bad at math.

Charley: So, have you kissed Helsie yet or what?
Sal: No, the moment wasn’t right. Look, I don't even know if she likes me like that! I have to be sure!
Brinna, sarcastically: Aww, that’s so sweet! So you chickened out like a little bitch?

Ray: Roo, oh my God. There was the biggest fucking nerd sitting in your exact seat yesterday.
Haru:
Haru: That was me with my glasses on.

Midge, prank calling: Is your refrigerator running?
Jim, paranoid: What? How did you know I have a fridge?!

Commissioner Fleece: It’s your word against mine.
Kane Aracnid: Let’s do it.
Commissioner Fleece: What?
Kane Arachnid: You selected the word 'what.' Big mistake. I choose 'shenanigan.'

Milo, texting: Morning, bro. Let's get this bread!
Asher: Please send me a picture of the bread you want. I will see if the store carries it.

Kane Arachnid: I wish I could say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply did myself.

Harry: So, have you kissed Haru yet or what?
Ray: No, the moment wasn’t right. Look, I don't even know if he likes me like that! I have to be sure!
Harry, sarcastically: Aww, that’s so sweet! So you chickened out like a little bitch?

Felix: I have to kill him.
Grace: What?
Felix, glaring at Drew: I don't know how to flirt with him, so he has to die.

Tania: Elias, quit lurking.
Elias: I'm not lurking. I'm standing quietly in the shadows.
Tania: You're fucking lurking.

Elias: I’m a ventriloquist.
Dominic: You any good?
Dominic: The best.
Dominic: What the fuck?

Hammy: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

Hammy: What are you doing?
Midge: Helping Howie find his chocolate I ate two hours ago.

Dahlia: I would like to make a toast.
Dahlia, raising her glass: I cannot believe we have gone through another 12 months of this absolute fuckery.
Dahlia: Cheers!

Jeb: The risk we took was calculated.
Jeb: But holy shit, are we bad at math.

Andor: You want me to be mad about inflation?
Andor: The thing that makes bouncy castles possible?!

Dallas: *sneaks into house at 2am*
Ara: *turns in swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?
Dallas: I was with… Uh… Andor!
Andor: *also turns in swivel chair*. Care to- *keeps spinning* Ara- I can't stop the chair-

Crispin: Who hurt you?
Gerard, jokingly: Do you want a list or what?
Crispin, pulling out a knife: Actually, yes.

Gerard: This has been a long day, I’m going to bed.
Adelia: It’s 9am, You’ve been awake for an hour.
Gerard: Goodnight.

Ravina: No, I'm not tired of being nice, yes I still wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.
Ravina: I wanna go apeshit but like, in a kind and respectful way.

Frank: alright, listen up you little shits
Frank: not you Gerard, you're an angel and i'm glad you're here

Leo: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe of who I am now.
Gerard: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far.
Cripin: I'd fucking fight 13 year old me.

Ara: I would like to make a toast.
Ara, raising his glass: I cannot believe we have gone through another 12 months of this absolute fuckery.
Ara: Cheers!

Taven: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

Calidor: So, have you kissed Keyla yet or what?
Taven: No, the moment wasn’t right. Look, I don't even know if she likes me like that! I have to be sure!
Calidor, sarcastically: Aww, that’s so sweet! So you chickened out like a little bitch?

Nina, texting: Morning, bro. Let's get this bread!
Ella: Please send me a picture of the bread you want. I will see if the store carries it.

Milo: I wish I could say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply did myself.

Adelia: The risk we took was…calculated.
Gerard: But holy shit we are bad at math.

Midge: You want me to be mad about inflation?
Midge: The thing that makes bouncy castles possible?!

Felix: [sneaks into house at 2am]
Paisley: [turns in swivel chair] care to tell me where you were?
Felix: I was with… Uh… Abel!
Abel: [also turns in swivel chair] Care to- [keeps spinning] Pais - I can't stop the chair-

Fennec: Who hurt you?
Rune, jokingly: Do you want a list or what?
Thad, pulling out a knife: Actually, yes.

Kane Arachnid: This has been a long day, I’m going to bed.
Dominic: It’s 9am, You’ve been awake for an hour.
Kane Arachnid: Goodnight.

Grace: No, I'm not tired of being nice, yes I still wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.
Grace: I wanna go apeshit but like, in a kind and respectful way.

Killian: alright, listen up you little shits
Killian: not you Hammy, you're an angel and i'm glad you're here

Midge: 13 year old me would be both terrified and in awe of who I am now.
Hammy: 13 year old me wouldn't think I'd get this far.
Ransom: I'd fucking fight 13 year old me.

Emmett: Alright, listen up, you little shits.
Emmett: Not you, Quill. You're an angel and we're glad you're here.

Claire: Look, it's been a long day. I’m going to bed.
Elliot: It’s 9 AM. You’ve been awake for an hour.
Claire: Goodnight.

Quill: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Emmett: You have to apologize to Anthony.
Jacques: Fine. But that might make me a kinder, better man, and that is not the man you fell in love with!

Ophelia: Why would you give a knife to Claire?!
Quill, shrugging: She felt unsafe.
Ophelia: Now I feel unsafe!
Quill: …Would also having a knife make you feel better?

Cyrus: We have fun, don't we, Croce?
Anthony: I have never been more stressed in my entire life.

Ceza: Alright, listen up, you little shits.
Ceza: Not you, Jimmy. You're an angel and we're glad you're here.

Margot: Look, it's been a long day. I’m going to bed.
Amira: It’s 9 AM. You’ve been awake for an hour.
Margot: Goodnight.

Carrie: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Launce: You have to apologize to Liesl.
Algernon: Fine. But that might make me a kinder, better man, and that is not the man you fell in love with!

Charley: We have fun, don't we, Kringas?
Mikhail: I have never been more stressed in my entire life.

Rhyda: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

Drew: You have to apologize to Bianca.
Felix: Fine. But that might make me a kinder, better man, and that is not the man you fell in love with!

Abel: We have fun, don't we, Grace?
Grace: I have never been more stressed in my entire life.

Grace: Why would you give a knife to Sid?!
Abel, shrugging: He felt unsafe.
Grace: Now I feel unsafe!
Abel: …Would also having a knife make you feel better?

Drew: Are you trying to seduce me?
Felix: Why? Are you seducible?

Cassian, falling from the ceiling: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Will is? Because Will is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Felix, throwing their head into Drew's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Drew, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Dahlia: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Avon: [steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely]
Dahlia: That one. I want that one.

Howie: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.

Midge: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Hammy: Who's in charge here?
Ransom, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Felix: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.
Rhyda: Throw rocks at he.
Shea: Hot Dogs.
Abel: Kill him.
Felix: Thanks guys.

Killian, to Midge: You're not Mario. Lets get something fucking straight, you're Luigi at best.

Midge: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?
Howie: No- How dare!?
Midge: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Midge, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?
Howie, whispering: Fuck yeah.

Holden: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Sid: Never seen one.
Holden: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Sid: What can’t I see?
Holden: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Sid: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Holden: Fuck.

Avon: Are you coming to bed?
Dahlia: I can't. This is important.
Avon: What?
Dahlia: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Holden: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts!
Felix: Eyy, that’s the spirit!
Holden: whERE???!!!??

Paisley: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’
Rhyda: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Jacques, throwing his head into Emmett’s lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Emmett, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Elliot, to Ophelia: Let’s get something fucking straight: you’re not Mario. You’re Luigi at best.

Ibis: Who's in charge here?
Zephyr, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Cyrus: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Anthony: Never seen one.
Cyrus: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Anthony: What can’t I see?
Cyrus: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Anthony: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Cyrus: Fuck.

Poli: Are you trying to seduce me?
Ellis: Why? Are you seducible?

Dally: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Cyrus: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Jacques: God, give me patience.
Cyrus: Don’t you mean 'give me strength'?
Jacques: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Felix, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Miss Cardenas.
Quill: How did you do that without turning around?
Felix: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Jacques: I’d like to offer you some friendly advice.
Quill: I don’t want it.
Jacques: Consider it unfriendly advice, then.

Quill: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!
Elliot: Name one law.
Quill: Don't…kill people?
Elliot: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Algernon, throwing his head into Launce's lap: Tell me I'm pretty.
Launce, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Helsie: Who's in charge here?
Charley, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Jackson: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Geneva: Never seen one.
Jackson: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Geneva: What can’t I see?
Jackson: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Geneva: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Jackson: Fuck.

Lavinia: Are you trying to seduce me?
Oleander: Why? Are you seducible?

Hank: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Clive: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Byron: Gods give me patience.
Douglas: Don’t you mean 'give me strength'?
Byron: If the gods gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Algernon, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Miss Meyer.
Tabitha: How did you do that without turning around?
Algernon: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Algernon: I’d like to offer you some friendly advice.
Kels: I do not want it.
Algerson: Well, consider it unfriendly advice then.

Sadie: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!
Ekatarine: Name one law.
Sadie: Don' kill people.
Ekaterine: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Helsie: You have to apologize to Mikhail.
Sal: Fine. But that might make me a kinder, better man, and that is not the man you fell in love with.

Isaak: Why would you give a knife to Bastian?!
Cath, shrugging: He felt unsafe.
Isaak: Now I feel unsafe!
Cath:…Would also having a knife make you feel better?

Alyssa: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Hazel: Steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely
Alyssa: That one. I want that one.

Helsie: Are you coming to bed?
Sal: I can't. This is important.
Helsie: What?
Sal: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Therese: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak, like look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.
Nich: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Lauren: You have to apologize to Kora
Tomas: Fine. But that might make me a kinder, better man, and that is not the man you fell in love with

Tomas: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Lauren: Steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely
Tomas: That one. I want that one.

Ivar: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.
Kora: Throw rocks at he.
Mitch: Hot Dogs.
Tomas: Kill him.
Ivar: Thanks guys.

Tomas: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

I've found it, the perfect representation of my players in my Lancer game:

Newt: Time-sensitive question, how flirt boy?
Vermillion: Throw rocks at he.
Zach: Hot dogs.
Ferrus: Kill him.
Newt: Thanks, guys.

Andor: I don't know what HD is, but the doctor just told me I have 80 of them.

James: Oh, you have autism?
Ella: No, I left it at home, sorry.

Dallas: Do you ever leave a social situation and you're just like hmmm that was not my best work.

Ara: Well, hate to say I told you so.
Andor: You love to say I told you so!

Dalvand: Alright… what's your game?
Milo: I'm a pretty big fan of yahtzee.

Keyla: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Taven: Steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely
Keyla: That one. I want that one.

Milo: I’d like to offer you some friendly advice.
Ravina: I do not want it.
Milo: Well, consider it unfriendly advice then.

Farli: Gods give me patience.
Taven: Don’t you mean 'give me strength'?
Farli: If the gods gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Kit: Who's in charge here?
Adelia: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Jackson: I don't know what HD is, but the doctor just told me I have eighty of them.

Mabel: Oh, you have autism?
Ira: No, I left it at home. Sorry.

Della: Do you ever leave a social situation and you're just like 'hmmm, that was not my best work.'

Vittoria: Well, hate to say I told you so.
Tiodore: You love to say I told you so!

Oberon: Gods give me patience.
Oleander: Don’t you mean 'give me strength'?
Oberon: If the gods gave me strength, you would be dead.

Oberon: Who's in charge here?
Titania: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Max: So what do you do?
Geneva: I drink.
Max: No, I mean, what do you really do?
Geneva:…I really drink.

Emile: I feel bad for you.
Joel: I don't think about you at all.

Penn: Wow, that would be so romantic.
Charley: More romantic than our wedding?
Penn: A thousand times more. I was pregnant and you had a fever of 103.

Ophelia, sarcastically: Wow, you're so mature. Where do you get it from?
Elliot: Your mom.

Anthony: Cardenas, do you really need to do that every time you don’t have a response to something?
Quill: [Rolls tumbleweed across the floor again]

Quill: This is the worst day of my life!
Elliot: Relatable.
Dally: Some of you have not experienced the day Zayn left One Direction and it shows.

Felix: Oh, sure, I have a great gaydar. I can determine if a man is gay or not with just a glance.
Chell: I’ve been in love with you for months.
Felix: You've what

Quill: Cyrus is a…complicated person.
Anthony: No, she's a bad person. There's a difference.

Cyrus, pointing to her chest: They can’t beat us because we have this!
Quill: We have…heart?
Cyrus: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing to myself. I’m going to fucking kill them.

Emmett: I would like to bring the young man some carrots. Is that acceptable?
Quill: Dr. Euclid, we're going to see a horse.

Quill: Mr. Croce, could you do me a favor?
Anthony: Shoot.
Quill: When I get murdered, can you make sure it's unsolved?
Anthony: …What?
Quill: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Anthony: Can we go back to the 'when I get murdered' part?

Dally: I think Dr. Device is mad at me. I have no idea why.
Quill: Were you talking before he got angry?
Dally: Yeah?
Quill: Oh. That's probably it, then.

Quill: Can I get you something to drink?
Azazel: The tears of my enemies wretched from their bodies as their bones are crushed.
Quill: …I have jasmine tea.
Azazel: Ooh, jasmine. Yes, please.

Quill: I've brought you all here today because some of you haven't been getting along.
Dally: Jacques and I are literally the only ones here.

Dally: Ant, wake up!
Anthony: What? What happened!?
Dally: When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach!?
Anthony:
Dally:
Anthony: Dame, please shut the fuck up.

Ophelia: If you guys piss off whatever is in here and we die, I promise I’ll still be angry at you in heaven.
Quill: You think we're getting into heaven!?

Quill: I love when people compliment my hair. Like, thank you, I grew it myself!

Anthony, looking out the attic window: What the hell is she doing up there?
Quill, banging two pots together on the roof, yelling at the sky: It would be a shame if I were to be abducted right now!

Dahlia, sarcastically: Wow, you're so mature. Where do you get it from?
Midge: Your mom.

Killian: Howard, do you really need to do that every time you don’t have a response to something?
Howie: [Rolls tumbleweed across the floor again]

Avon: This is the worst day of my life!
Hammy: Relatable.
Killian: Some of you have not experienced the day Zayn left One Direction and it shows.

Bianca: Oh, sure, I have a great gaydar. I can determine if a woman is gay or not with just a glance.
Shea: I’ve been in love with you for months.
Bianca: You've what

Paisley: Donovan is a…complicated person.
Drew: No, he's a bad person. There's a difference.

Shea, pointing to her chest: They can’t beat us because we have this!
Jeb: We have…heart?
Shea: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing to myself. I’m going to fucking kill them.

Kane Arachnid: I would like to bring the young man some carrots. Is that acceptable?
Dominic: Mister Arachnid, we're going to see a horse.

Midge: Hey, Ransom, could you do me a favor?
Ransom: Shoot.
Midge: When I get murdered, can you make sure it's unsolved?
Ransom: …What?
Midge: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Ransom: Can we go back to the 'when I get murdered' part?

Midge: I think Dahlia is mad at me. I have no idea why.
Killian: Were you talking before she got angry?
Midge: Yeah?
Killian: Oh. That's probably it, then.

Celia: Can I get you something to drink?
Bram: The tears of my enemies wretched from their bodies as their bones are crushed.
Celia: …I have jasmine tea.
Bram: Ooh, jasmine. Yes, please.

Grace: I've brought you all here today because some of you haven't been getting along.
Drew: Paisley and I are literally the only ones here.

Sparrow: Thad, wake up!
Thaddeus: What? What happened!?
Sparrow: When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach!?
Thaddeus:
Sparrow:
Thaddeus: Bird, shut the fuck up.

Dominic: If you guys piss off whatever is in here and we die, I promise I’ll still be angry at you in heaven.
Elias: You think we're getting into heaven!?

Avon: I love when people compliment my hair. Like, thank you, I grew it myself!

Vaughn, looking out the attic window: What the hell is she doing up there?
Selena, banging two pots together on the roof, yelling at the sky: It would be a shame if I were to be abducted right now!

Kit: You must be Mr. Hadley.
Crispin: Oh please. Mr Hadley is my father.
Crispin: And I fucking hate my father.

Andor: For most of human history vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home when you were sleeping or drunk. Then we got rid of horses.
Ara: You complete moron. You stupid idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite" that was you just now.
Ara: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off.
Dallas: ….We still have horses.

Milo: I love when people compliment my hair. Like, thank you, I grew it myself!

Ara: What the hell is he doing up there?
Andor, banging two pots together on the roof, yelling at the sky: It would be a shame if I were to be abducted right now!

Garzlan: I've brought you all here today because some of you haven't been getting along.
Ravina: Milo and I are literally the only ones here.

Milo: I think Ravina is mad at me. I have no idea why.
Keyla: Were you talking before she got angry?
Milo: Yeah?
Keyla Oh. That's probably it, then.

Crispin, pointing to his chest: They can’t beat us because we have this!
Caleb: We have…heart?
Crispin: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing to myself. I’m going to fucking kill them.

Garzlan: Milo is a…complicated person.
Ravina: No, he's a bad person. There's a difference.

Ella: This is the worst day of my life!
Catalina: Relatable.
Nina: Some of you have not experienced the day Zayn left One Direction and it shows.

Tobias, sarcastically: Wow, you're so mature. Where do you get it from?
Barry: Your mom.

Kels: Carth, do you really need to do that every time you don’t have a response to something?
Kay: Rolls tumbleweed across the floor again

Beck: This is the worst day of my life!
Della: Relatable.
Teagan: Some of you have not experienced the day Zayn left One Direction and it shows.

Hank: Oh, sure, I have a great gaydar. I can determine if a man is gay or not with just a glance.
Clive: I’ve been in love with you for months.
Hank: You've what?

Effie: Algernon is a…complicated person.
Klaus: No, he's a bad person. There's a difference.

Clare, pointing to their chest: They can’t beat us because we have this!
Silvie: We have…heart?
Clare: Heart? No. Me. I’m pointing to myself. I’m going to fucking kill them.

Everett: I would like to bring the young man some carrots. Is that acceptable?
Clyde: Buddy, we're going to see a horse.

Maisy: Poole, could you do me a favor?
Joey: Shoot.
Maisy: When I get murdered, can you make sure it's unsolved?
Joey: …What?
Maisy: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Joey: Can we go back to the 'when I get murdered' part?

Luc: I think Mariam is mad at me. I have no idea why.
Annette: Were you talking before she got angry?
Luc: Yeah?
Mariam: Oh. That's probably it, then.

Jane: If you guys piss off whatever is in here and we die, I promise I’ll still be angry at you in heaven.
Clyde: You think we're getting into heaven!?

Algernon: I love when people compliment my hair. Like, thank you, I grew it myself!

Max: You must be Mr. Grant.
Victor: Oh, please. Mr Grant is my father, and I hate my father.

Casey: For most of human history vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home when you were sleeping or drunk. Then we got rid of horses.
Beck: You complete moron. You stupid idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite" that was you just now.
Beck: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off.
Marisol: ….We still have horses.

Ravina: You son of a bitch-
Milo: My mother was a very kind and well liked woman
Ravina: I meant your father
Milo: Oh. Carry on

Adelia:You good?
Gerard: Obviously no, but I have a good attitude about it

Andor: You got some nerve
Ara: Yeah, I got about 7 trillion in me and you’ve managed to get on every single one

Milo, standing with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Keyla.
Keyla: How did you do that without turning around?
Milo: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Matthew: I raised 1 perfectly functional child.
Alexander: oh dear. you have another child I don't know about?

Catalina: Who else is in the laundry room listening to this conversation?
Ella: Me. I’m in the laundry basket
Nina: I’m in the laundry machine.
James: I’m in the closet.
Ella: we accept you James
James: No, I’m literally in the-
Nina: Love is love

Dallas: as far as plans go, this is not a good one
Ara: this is your plan, Dallas!
Dallas: i didn't think you'd actually say yes!

Caleb: How's life going?
Gerard: I don't know man, I'm trying not to think about it.

Gerard: Hopefully Crispin has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Crispin: Oh, shut up and die Gerard

Crispin: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?
Kit: No- How dare!?
Crispin: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Crispin, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?
Leo, whispering: Fuck yeah.

Aspen: You son of a bitch-
Oleander: My mother was a very kind and well liked woman
Aspen: I meant your father
Oleander: Oh. Carry on

Jackson: You good?
Max: Obviously not, but I have a good attitude about it

Zelda: You've got some nerve
Lee: Yeah, I've got about 7 trillion in me and you’ve managed to get on every single one

Hemlock: I raised one perfectly functional child.
Juniper: Oh dear. You have another child I don't know about?

Grady: Who else is in the laundry room listening to this conversation?
Felicity: Me. I’m in the laundry basket
Freddy: I’m in the laundry machine.
Ozzie: I’m in the closet.
Livia: We accept you, Ozzie
Ozzie: No, I’m literally in the-
Livia: Love is love

Ernesto: As far as plans go, this is not a good one
Joel: This is your plan, Ernie.
Ernesto: I didn't think you'd actually say yes!

Paul: How's life going?
Back: I don't know, I'm trying not to think about it.

Mikhail: Hopefully Sal has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Sal: Shut up and die, Mikhail.

Thad: You son of a bitch-
Opal: My mother was a very kind and well liked woman-
Thad: I meant your father
Opal: Oh. Carry on

Drew: You good?
Grace: Obviously not, but I have a good attitude about it

Shea: You've got some nerve
Paisley: Yeah, I've got about 7 trillion in me and you’ve managed to get on every single one

Haru: I raised one perfectly functional child.
Abel: You have another child I don't know about?

Dahlia: Who else is in the laundry room listening to this conversation?
Avon: Me. I’m in the laundry basket
Howie: I’m in the laundry machine.
Hammy: I’m in the closet.
Midge: We accept you, Ham Man
Hammy: No, I’m literally in the-
Midge: Love is love

Ransom: As far as plans go, this is not a good one
Killian: This is your plan, idiot!
Ransom: I didn't think you'd actually say yes!

Selena: How's life going?
Vaughn: I don't know, I'm trying not to think about it.

Felix: Hopefully Rhyda has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Rhyda: Shut up and die, Felix.

Anthony: I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much.

Joey: I look back on being seventeen and think “holy shit, how did I not die?”

Charley: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.

Nellie: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Berenice: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and the conclusions were there.

Nellie: Are you okay?
Berenice, looking off into the distance: In theory.

Berenice: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Nellie: My opinions don’t have to be consistent. I think whatever makes me feel nice at the time and there’s no law against that.

Grace: I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much.

Thad: I look back on being twenty-two and think “holy shit, how did I not die?”

Howie: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.

Avon: Are you okay?
Dahlia, looking off into the distance: In theory.

Elias: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Dolly: My opinions don’t have to be consistent. I think whatever makes me feel nice at the time and there’s no law against that.