forum Ivy has added you to a group chat

Started February 10, 2021 by @squiddicus language

tune

Cass: Very confused, also hastily straightening her hair and clothes What happened while I was gone? I would love to hear this story, by the way!
Tessa: Nothing much.
Ashene: I agree with Cass.

Raef: NO STORY GO AWAY NOW BYYYYYYYYYE
Corrin: smiles smugly storytime!
Corrin: Hi, I'll be your friendly neighbourhood narrator for today. Please buckle your seatbelts and keep your hands and eyes inside the story a all times.
So, Raef has a weird backstory. His parents abandoned him in the forest when he was 4, and he lived on soup. He befriended a raccoon and named it George.
Enter moi, Corrin D'Hiver, Raef's best and one of his only friends.
He was a great guy. Sure, a little odd. And he only ate soup, which was surprising. But other than that, he was awesome.
Until I gave him a cheeseburger.
Poor Raef. He'd been eating only soup, every day, all the time for eight years. Even a simple quarter pounder from McDee's was too much. It set off a chain reaction of madness. It was like his mind was floating away from him, buoyed by the cheeseburger's fumes.
It was the equivalent of getting him drunk. Worse, because it didn't end until a week later.
My best bud is the only guy I know who can get drunk on normal foods. He still only eats sup, and trades recipes with any and all who ask.

corrin: so the madness was soup-induced because IF HE WAS NOT OBSESSED WITH SOUP, HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY A CHEESEBURGER!
corrin: so that is teh story. use it to blackmail him should the need arise.

Cass: I'm sure you could get drunk off of soup if you tried hard enough.
Tessa: I'm confused now. And that is a rare event.
Ashene: Not so rare. It's happened about… 5 times in the last 1-2 days.
Tessa: That's irrelevant. Shut up.
Ashene: Grins You know I'm right!

raef: slaps corrin repeatedly, slaps cass across universes, slaps screen
raef: NOBODY CAN GET DRUNK ON SOUP. NOBODY!!!
raef: also does anyone have anything I can blackmail Corrin with?
corrin: deletes Raef's last comment

Addic: I for one have this magical ability to get drunk of anything and have on a regular basis have gotten drunk off clam chowder.

raef: is a chowder a soup?
raef: thinks about the possibilities of clam soup
corrin: okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….
corrin: am i the only sane person here?
raef: you not sane. you were convicted on trial and exiled from your-
corrin: muttering DEATH TO YOU! tries to erase raef's comment
corrin: fails

Addic: sorry what

corrin: what WHAT
raef: what WHAT what? what?

Addic: are you doubting that chowder is a soup, it is served in a bowl and eaten with a spoon. It is soup

raef: i never seen chowder
raef: i wanna though
corrin phewph okay nvm thought you listened to raef's latest comment before this one
corrin: the one about my sanity
corrin: I AM SAAAAAAAAAAAANE!
raef: uh-huh

(Sweet, see you then)

Addic: I never doubted your sanity. You are by far the most sane one here. No offense y’all.

corrin: WUT THAT IS SO OFFENSIVE I CAN BE AS INSANE AS RAEF!
corrin: I HAPPEN TO KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY MAKE SOUP OUT OF A HUMAN
corrin: CANNIBAL SOUP
raef: TEACH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Addic: I have two good recipes for humanoid soup, one has mango and my own personal brew, the other is a white potato stew

Cass: What has happened here? I also happen to know how to make alcohol soup and blood soup.

Addic: not alcohol, it's a secret mix of herbs and spices in apple juice.

Cass: No, it's literally alcohol. I mix wine, vodka, whiskey and some secret ingredients together then put some alcohol infused noodles and whatnot in there, let it stew for a few hours, and voíla! Alcohol soup.

Addic: or you can skip the noodles and just drink the "broth"

Cass: Yeah, but you have to make it seem like actual soup instead of just drinking.

Addic: than serve it in a bowl

raef: yesyesyesyesyesyesssssssssssssssss
raef: i'm hyper on visions of new soup possibilities
raef: soooooooooooooooooooooooooooup