forum Let's Talk The Birds & The Bees >>> (Mature Rating - For Authors Serious About Sensitive Scenes)

Started April 02, 2019 by @EternallyEris

tune

So like….how do condoms work? Do you just yeet them over the dick? Does it impact the pleasure you get?

You slip them over the penis before vaginal (hey maybe anal too) and not that I know of. I know a lot of men complain that it does but they're just being coyl

Yeah I mean unless a couple has latex allergies condoms are a little difficult but you can get latex free ones

Dont listen to a guy that says he's too big for a condom. They have alllllllll kinds of different sizes. They're just assholes.

It can impact the pleasure of both male and female. It can make it kinda…..numbing, which is lame, but there are different types with ribbing and stimulating lube that can add to the experience as well.

There are female condoms too but theyre a little funky.

When it comes to birth control in general there are so many options for the female, I swear to god they are allllll, I mean all, gifts from the deity.

-The pill shortens your period, helps with cramps, and helps with acne.
-The birth control implant is a tiny, thin rod about the size of a matchstick. It goes in your arm. It lasts for 5 years and can help cut down on period cramps. It also makes your period way lighter — and 1 in 3 people with the implant stop getting their periods at all after a year.
-IUDs are one of the best ways to prevent pregnancy, and they last for years. You can get it, forget it, and still be protected. They’re more than 99% effective. Plus you’re protected against pregnancy for 3 to 12 years, depending on what kind you get annnnnnnnnnnd they can cut down on cramps and make your period way lighter. Some people totally stop getting periods at all. Hormonal IUDs can help treat people who suffer from severe cramps, really heavy periods, and anemia.

lol ignore my rant about birth control. As you can see I'm a supporter.

BDSM

Don't listen to anything 50 Shades tells you.

I know that, duh. Lol.

what is bdsm? cause I actually have no idea

Bondage/Dominance/Sadism/Masochism

All at once, or just two or three?

Bondage and Dominance are kind of hand-in-hand.

Ah.

Anyone interest in what 50 Shades Of Emotional Abuse Grey did wrong with BDSM should check out the reviews of the books by The Dom/Dominic Noble, and Roselin Productions!

In other words everything.

XD

Dom's video goes into just how twisted the whole 'plain Jane virgin is pursued by smexy billionare' trope is and how it feeds off of insecurities, and Roselin Productions did a live reading/dissection of Darker and Freed, touching on things like how the relationship has textbook abusive qualities, and how fucked up the portrayal of the crazy ex is.

Those books are just a toxic, close minded, and stereotypical view of something that's considered taboo in today's society.

So besides not doing what 50 Shades of Manipulation and Abuse did, what other advice do people have on not misrepresenting BDSM?

If it's something you really want to write about and explore. I suggest doing A LOT of research. Not 'oh i spent an hour looking it up'. I mean like deep internet research, or actually talking to a Dom or a sub. They are normal people and generally would enjoy speaking to people for proper representation.

Cool!
I don't write sex scenes in my stories (because they're YA) but if I ever do, I'll look into it!

What if you don't know any doms or subs you can talk to?

Oof…. That's a wonderful question.
I just happened to know people (awkward smile)

But I would defer to research on the interwebs. Just be careful and stick to webpages. No videos or what not.

From what I've heard, a lot of times people who practice BDSM don't give the details to people under 18 (which is part of why the whole "I was a sub at 15" thing in 50SOEA was bullshit).

^^^^^ Very true. It's actually one of the safest communities. weird irony

Whoops I'm only almost 17 lmao

Well, I think research helps. And actually, I find the emotional and psychological bits more interesting than the sex areas and also have like 18 billion more questions for it lol.

That's what the thread is all about

Um, I have a question as to how to write a scene from a virgin's point of view. Like, it's her first time. I honestly have no ideas.

Well what's they're background like? Shy? Religious? Extroverted?
All that should be taken into account. You do not want a complete personality shift.