rIIIIIIght so ik Ive put this doc up on this chat a LOT, but I need you guys to see the last bit!! some of you may have seen the fourth (I think? not counting lol) installment, but I finished it so ye
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/228982
pls rate 1/10 + feedback! how'd I do?? I've been thinking of this scene a lot so I finally wrote and yayyy it turned out better than the original draft!
poke poke
Yo I wanna know how I did, pls someone critique or compliment it or something😭
(Have you considered just posting it in a forum of your own?)
rIIIIIIght so ik Ive put this doc up on this chat a LOT, but I need you guys to see the last bit!! some of you may have seen the fourth (I think? not counting lol) installment, but I finished it so ye
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/228982
pls rate 1/10 + feedback! how'd I do?? I've been thinking of this scene a lot so I finally wrote and yayyy it turned out better than the original draft!
poke poke
Yo I wanna know how I did, pls someone critique or compliment it or something😭
IM ON IT… in the morning, it's past midnight =w=
Hello there may I join?
course! everyone's welcome
Would anyone want to read/evaluate my idea/backstory document?
ye! I haven't anything new to read in many months
Wonderful
This is essentially just a writing dump for my backstory for a dnd character
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/182675/edit
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
wdym? like editor?
… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
wdym? like editor?
… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj
ooooo kinda like a beta reader?
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
wdym? like editor?
… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj
ooooo kinda like a beta reader?
well not quite cause that would require me to write, but if anyone want to do that for me I'm down! it be good to start writing anyways.
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
wdym? like editor?
… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj
well whatever it is, im interested.
heyo! anyone want to be a story councilor for me?
wdym? like editor?
… it makes sense in my head…
i mean, i guess if anyone wants to tell if and why my idea sucks? /hj
Like, just read something you read and judge you? Sure
so i have a small thing and remember when i asked if there was someone who i could send stuff to and they could just, like, absolutely tear it apart for me? well pandora, ren and mag, are you guys still interested?
Sure! My critical judgy brain is ready for the tearing
That paaageee doesn't exist/I don't have permisson
alright, it the link should work now, mind trying it again?
I can see it
Criticisms will arrive shortly
kk
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/249032
oh das cool
I have a few nitpicks in grammar, but thats about it. I like 👍
kk
https://www.notebook.ai/documents/249032
oh das cool
I have a few nitpicks in grammar, but thats about it. I like 👍
ah, thank you! I admit I'm not very on top of it with my grammar, anything in particular I should watch out for?
First up: Like Serenity said, Grammar, spelling, speeelling! Lots of sentences lack a starting capital letter, thats an easy fix.
Alley is spelled wrong in 'ally rat'. In general I do enjoy the little excerpt, not sure if this is intended as a middle of story thing, or if it is supposed to be the very first scene in the story.
Also, It says he is ranting to 'the thing in the shadows' but he then reacts like he hadn't meant to wake it. While he was actively shouting and ranting to it. Or is the Snake-dragon thing different from the thing in the shadows? I'm pretty sure they're the same thing, but I could be wrong??
Also: I believe it's is a 'it is' not a ownership, you use its to refer to a thing owning the limbs. But thats mostly fine.
All in all, its good! Just mostly grammar and spelling issues.
And my brain did judge a 'skeletal' grin as maybe not making sense on a human face, but I think it makes sense for the most part.
Anyhoo
Good ideas, I like the story!
yep! thx guys, I'll make the next one with this in mind!
(btw, in case you'd like to know, it was kinda the same as when you talk to a dog or smth, he just didn't mean to disturb (also, I wouldn't describe him as human, but it doesn't go on long enough to delve further into that part))
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