forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Memphis: It just feels amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I am!
Shane:
Shane: 'spread your legs'?
Memphis, sweating: I said spr- spread my wings.
————————————–
Jack: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.
Dennis: You've been?
Jack: Once, in Monopoly.
————————————–
Jay: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.
Eric: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.
Jay: Nice
————————————–
Shane: You often use humour to deflect serious trauma.
Colton: Thank you.
Shane: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Colton: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.
————————————–
Jack: Tell Markus about the bird and the bees!
Dennis: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Jack: [Nodding intently]
————————————–
Eric: Scared?
Shane: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions.
Eric: What?
Shane: I said you wish!

Grady: You often use humour to deflect serious trauma.
Clive: Thank you.
Grady: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Clive: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Lucius: Tell Aristotle about the bird and the bees.
Byron: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Lucius:….not exactly what I meant, but alright.

Clyde: So I’m bi-
Everett: Oh?
Clyde: -lingual, bilingual. I can speak two languages. English and French, you know?
Everett: Oh.
Clyde: Uh, I also like guys.
Everett: OH.
Why have a love triangle when it could be a polyam relationship instead?

Fortune: We're doomed.
Ezra: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Fortune: I'm thirteen!
Ezra: I said good, not long.

Jack: We're doomed!!
Eric: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Jack: I'm thirteen!!
Eric: I said good, not long.

Emily, to Mara: Because I love you. I think. No, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I love you
Emily: Okay. I'm gonna go
Emily: Catch you later, silly billy
this could go both ways, they're so dumb and I love them

The best kind of couple tbh

Hex: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Gracelyn: You look tired.
Jesse: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Gracelyn: Were you doing something cool?
Jesse: Does worrying count?
Gracelyn: No.

Clem: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Gracelyn: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Gracelyn: We're doomed.
Jesse: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Gracelyn: I'm eighteen.
Jesse: I said good, not long.

Hex: How are you?
Jesse: Do you really care?
Hex: Not really.

Jesse: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.
Auria: You've been?
Jesse: Once, in Monopoly.

Clem: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
Jesse: Thank you.
Clem: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Jesse: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Jesse: Tell Delphinia about the bird and the bees!
Gracelyn: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Jesse: [nodding intently]

Delphinia: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Gracelyn: Hex and I are literally the only ones you invited.

Jesse: Wow, who died and made you king?
Sybella: My dad.

Tabitha: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Hank: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Simon: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Byron: We're doomed.
Erik: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Byron: I'm twenty three.
Erik: I said good, not long.

Geneva: How are you?
Jackson: Do you really care?
Geneva: Not really.

Ceza: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
J.B.: Thank you.
Ceza: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
J.B.: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.

Grady: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Hank: Clive and I are literally the only ones you invited.

Douglas: Wow, who died and made you king?
Nathaniel: My brother.

Jane: Isn't it a bit dangerous?
Clyde: Jane, come on. I've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and I always escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Okay, I sometimes escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Alright, I escaped unhurt once, then got hurt on the way home.

The Director: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.
Kay: That sounds like a dare to me!

Ms. Dollon: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Kay: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Carrie: Just be careful, Fox.
Nich: I'm always careful, Kit. It's everything around me that's careless.

Anton, on the phone: Just snap his kneecaps and he'll talk, I'm at a parent-teacher conference.
Anton: Anyways, you said Katya is enjoying finger painting? That's great.

Jackson: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Geneva: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Jackson: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…
Geneva: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Alessandra: It feels like I'm always saving your ass!
Percy: It's an ass worth saving!

Maura, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Vittoria: Other side, Mikkels.

Addie: I panic when people compliment me. What the hell am I supposed to say when people compliment me?
Kay: Great job on the exam today, Addie!
Addie, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Beck: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Beck: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Beck: Please.

Casey: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Beck: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.

An emotion: Pokes its head through the mountain of suppression Vittoria buried it under
Vittoria, beating it with a stick: Back! Back!

Grady: When did you get your driver's license?
Simon, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Clyde: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Everett: Alright, what's 30x17?
Clyde: 47
Everett: That's not even close.
Clyde: I said I was fast at math, not good at it.

Hazel: You don't have to be so humble.
Alyssa: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Hazel: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and they're dying, so-

Samuel: I don’t judge people.
Also Samuel: Blocked. Blocked. You’re all blocked. None of you are free of sin. See you in hell.

J.B.: Oh, I never brag.
Carey: You once called your face "proof of a higher power's existence."
J.B.: It's not bragging if it's true.

Byron: How are you?
Oscar: Do you really care?
Byron: Not really.

Ethan: I’m going to hell.
Minnie: Probably.
Ethan: I'll pick you up?
Minnie: (nodding) Carpool.
~
Reese: Could you please go to the shop and get a carton of milk? If they have avocados get six.
Ethan, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados!
~
Sage, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles.
Ethan: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake-
Reese, under their breath: Don’t say Jortles.
Ethan: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.
~
Minnie: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…
Reese: What’s updog?
Minnie: Ethan! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
~
Minnie: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Sage: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Ethan: FLOOR IT!!
Minnie: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Sage: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Minnie: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Ethan: DO IT!
Sage: NO-
~
Reese: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Minnie: A babey.
Ethan: A cinnamon roll.
Sage: A sweetheart.
Reese:
Reese: …stop it.
~
Reese: What’s up with Minnie? She's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Ethan: She's just a little overwhelmed.
Reese: Why?
Ethan: Sage smiled at her.
~
Sage: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.
~
Minnie: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Minnie: cu(L)t leader.
Minnie: (G)od hates me personally.
Minnie: cow(B)oy hat.
Minnie: (sniffles) (T)rying my best.
~
Ethan: (pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere)
Reese: Where did you get that?
Ethan: My pocket.
Reese: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Ethan: Skills.
~
Minnie: We have fun, don’t we, Sage?
Sage: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
Minnie: That's the spirit.
~
Reese: I think my guardian angel drinks.

Soul: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?

Tomorrow: How are you?
Feather: Do you really care?
Tomorrow: Not really.

Feather: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Tomorrow: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Redwhisker: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Redwhisker: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Redwhisker: Please.

Soul: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Ebon: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.

Soul: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Shade: A baby.
Neve: A cinnamon roll.
Feather: A sweetheart.
Soul:
Soul: … stop it.

Memphis: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, but they're wrong because they've never been in Eric's arms.
Craig: Of course we haven't been in Eric's arms, he's fucking mental.
Markus: He's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into him and he pulled a gun on me.
————————————–
Colton: Which is correct: seven and five IS thirteen or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Shane: Neither.
Shane: it’s twelve.
Colton:
Colton: God fucking dammit I’m that gay
————————————–
Shane: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Dennis: As a friend
Shane: See a therapist.
————————————–
Markus: Are you ready for your birthday surprise?
Craig: Wow, that’s a big cake
Craig:
Craig: Jay’s inside it isn’t he.
The cake: No

⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦

Harris: I love it when I talk and no one listens to me.
Harris: Reminds me of home.
————————————–
Tyler, on the phone: Where are you?
Zack: I’m at the hospital.
Tyler: Are you okay?
Zack: No.
Tyler:
Zack:
Tyler:
Tyer: Would you care to elaborate?????
————————————–
Niner: No sleep again last night?
Harris: No! I can’t stop having these disturbing nightmares.
Niner: OK, you’ve gotta talk to a Percy about this.
Harris: No! Therapists are bad news, trying to get all up in people’s heads.
Niner: They helped me get over a lot of my emotional problems.
Harris, eyeing Niner: I disagree.
————————————–
Zack: Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls.
Gwyn: I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated.
Gwyn:
Gwyn: This is awesome.

OHHHH that one is 100% Sparrow, hold on:

Simon: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong because they've never been in Sparrow’s arms.
Jett: Of course we haven't been in Sparrow's arms, she's hecking mental.
Cornelius: She's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into her and she pulled a gun on me.

Dottie: You know, people say that this city is the happiest place in the galaxy, but they're wrong because they've never been in Niklos' arms.
Clive: Of course we haven't been in Niklos' arms, he's absolutely crazy.
Grady: He's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into him and he pulled a knife on me.

Hazel: Which is correct: seven and five is thirteen or seven and five are thirteen?
Jane: Neither.
Jane: It’s twelve.
Hazel:
Hazel: Goddammit I’m that gay

Morgan: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Jackson: As a friend
Morgan: See a therapist.

Pietyr: I love it when I talk and no one listens to me.
Pietyr: Reminds me of home.

Hank: Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls.
Clive: I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated, this is awesome!

Levi, to Simon: When I was little, my brother would beg me to put him in a pillow case and swing him around.
Levi: I know it's insane, but the only reason I'm telling you now is because we're adults now and my parents can't lose custody of us.

Learning how to play never have I ever
Jane: Never have I ever failed a test.
Clyde: Okay, that's good. But try something a little more edgy, like never have I ever seen a dead body.
Everett: Takes a shot
Clyde: No, the idea is that you're supposed to take a shot every time you have done something.
Everett: Yes, I know.

Finley: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch

Finley: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Mara: As a friend
Finley: See a therapist.

Emily: in my room you will find a shoebox
Emily: in that box there is a guinea pig. that I said I would bury
Emily: so please deal with it
Lilly: there's a corpse in your room?!
Emily: alright guys, well thanks

Sage, on the phone: Where are you?
Minnie: I’m at the hospital.
Sage: Are you okay?
Minnie: No.
Sage:
Minnie:
Sage:
Sage: You wanna eLABORATE???

Ezra: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Puppet: They don’t???

Victor: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Henry: Wait, they don’t?

Tristan: I want to change the world.
Tana: For the better?
Tristan:
Tana: Answer me, please.

Jenna: If I came to you every time I had a problem-
Mikal: We'd spend a lot more time together.
Jenna: Are you saying I always have a problem?
Mikal:
Jenna: Its sad that you're not wrong.

Christi, after being injured: I'm getting a brain scan tomorrow.
Fern: To check if you have one?
Christi: Well thank you for your concern and support.

Theodore: I'm so useless!
Tana: Don't say that! You're not useless!
Tristan: You can be used as a bad example.

Jenna: I went to the doctor and all they tested was my patience.

Noah: You should volunteer at neurological research places, because you have been knocked out a lot my friend.
Jenna: I'll keep that in mind.
Noah: Perhaps not the best place all things considered.

Myra: i’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so i can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Myra: sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.
Sparta: how so?
Myra: it keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.

Matthew: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Aariss: I’m too pretty.

Blaze: I’m so sad Alev and Tiana aren’t with us. They’re my best friends.
Draco: What about me?
Blaze: You’re my worst friend.

Anna: Christi offered me her drink because I said I was thirsty.
Anna: I did not expect to take a sip of vodka at 6:30 in the morning-

Sparta: watching the news: Xavier, you wanna tell me why the entire block is up in flames?
Xavier, covered in soot: Global warming?

Theodore: Lemme just play Devil's advocate here-
Jenna: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Theodore, on the verge of tears: Thanks

(Time to flesh new characters 😳)

Luis, speaking through tears: Maybe the real treasure was the traumas and trust issues we gained along the way
Kenzo: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.
————————————–
Ethan: you have to apologize to Seth
Emilio: fine.
Emilio: ‘unfuck you’ or whatever
————————————–
Luis: Elias is going to kill us!
Alastor: Not if we kill him first.
Ethan: NO ONE IS KILLING ANYONE!!?
————————————–
Elias: why aren't you wearing clothes?
Kenzo: I uh- I have nothing to wear
Elias: Yes you do [opens the closet] There's pants, trousers, Emilio, shirts.
————————————–
Emilio: Don’t ever speak to me or appear in front of me ever again.
Alastor: OMG you’re so dramatic all I ever did was possibly kill your best friend!
————————————–
Interviewer: that's a pretty rock
Seth: Thanks, Emilio gave it to me!
Emilio: I threw it at you
Seth: He's my best friend!
————————————–
Alastor: yo, are you done yet?
Elias: done with what?
Alastor: [stabs him] breathing.
————————————–
Fangirl flirting with Kenzo: my parents aren't home if ya wanna come back to my place?
Emilio: DON'T SLEEP WITH HER KEN! YOU'LL GET ADHD!!!
Kenzo: im not go- what?
Ethan: I think he means HIV
————————————–
Seth: looks like you're gonna have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way outta this one!
Luis: omg so true bestie!!
Ethan, crying: what the fuck are you saying-

Silvie: You have to apologize to Bas.
Clare: Fine.
Clare: Unfuck you or whatever.

Tabitha: The Director is going to kill us!
Hal: Not if we kill her first.
Shel: NO ONE IS KILLING ANYONE!!?

Della: Looks like you're gonna have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way outta this one!
Teagan: Omg so true bestie!!
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): What the heck are you saying-

Christi and Fern: * in jail *
Fern: Who should we call?
Christi: I'd call Anna but I feel safer in jail.

Columbine:This is the worst day ever.
Fern: Because Ferrin got shot?
Columbine: No because its a little humid- YES BECAUSE FERRIN GOT SHOT.

Oliver: I have to tell you something

Ivaan: So you're a vampire? Knew it

Oliver:..no I was going to say I loved you but alright-

(Angy flesh out characters time The Mill addition)

Oscar: Sorry guys I can‘t be in this mission. It’s not good for the baby.
Parker:
Cooper:
Carter:
Johnny:
Brenton:
Vincent: W-What baby?
Oscar: Me
————————————–
Parker: Wow El, is there anything you can't do?
Elio: Gather the courage to say I'm in love with you.
Parker: . . . what?
Johnny, screaming from three feet away: HE SAID HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU
————————————–
Vincent: it's decorative!
Parker: that doesn't change the fact that it's a fucking gun
————————————–
Waitress: and what can I get started for you, young man
Johnny: 2 liquid chickens, please
Cooper, visibly shaking: he would like 2 eggs
————————————–
Brenton: hey Vince, when did you get your drivers license?
Vincent: my what?
Parker in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT
————————————–
Brenton: welcome to the fuck Parker club. in this club we say “fuck you” to Parker
Elio, standing up: there has been a HUGE misunderstanding, I need to leave -
————————————–
Johnny: What do you think Bren will do for a distraction?
Parker: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
[Building explodes and several car alarms go off]
Parker: … or he could do that.
————————————–
Cooper: why are you guys out in the rain?
Oscar: I like slashing in the puddles!
Vincent: I’m trying to get hit by lightning

Andor: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Adelia: why are you guys out in the rain?
Caleb: I like splashing in the puddles!
Gerard: I’m trying to get hit by lightning!

Dallas: hey Andor, when did you get your drivers license?
Andor: my what?
Ara in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT

Taven: Wow Keyla, is there anything you can't do?
Keyla: Gather the courage to say I'm in love with you.
Taven: . . . what?
Calidor, screaming from three feet away: SHE SAID SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU

(This thread needs 50cc of adrenaline - stat !!)

Ike: Why doesn’t Chet find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Collyn: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Ike: [bites lip]
Collyn:
Collyn: Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?
————————————–
Jude: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Herbert: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
————————————–
Chester: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Chester and Ike, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Collyn: Our turn, Ste! One, two, three- vanilla!
Stephen, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
————————————–
Robin: I’d like a coffee and he’ll have a juice.
Rocky: Robby i’m 17 years old.
Rocky: I can order my own juice.
————————————–
Benji: I haven’t cried in years
Brook: ok Ben, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex
————————————–
Chester, gently nudging Stephen aside with his foot: Ste, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.
Stephen: You kick Ste? You kick his body like the football? Oh! Jail for Chet! Jail for Chet for one thousand years!
Chester: 🧍🏻‍♂️
————————————–
Fraser: are you ok?
Herbert: just high on life!
Fraser: and?
Herbert: [sighs] glass cleaner
————————————–
Brook: trauma makes you gay or funny
Brook: or in my case, both
Dakota: i think it just made me gay
Brook: yeah :)
————————————–
Myer: but-
Collyn: grow up! the easter bunny isn’t real, the tooth fairy is fake and the queen of england doesn’t exist!
————————————–
Herbert: [takes out a box of cereal]
Herbert: [grabs a bowl]
Herbert: [grabs milk]
Herbert: [pours milk into his hand]
Jude, watching from the side: hey uh Herb-
Herbert: no, no just give me a minute. i know something is wrong just give me a minute. i’ll figure it out. just wait a minute.
————————————–
Stephen: may i sit there?
Willbur: that’s my lap?
Stephen: that doesn’t answer my question.
————————————–
Ike: I am the straightest man in the world. Just ask my boyfriend. Chet?
Chester: He’s very straight.
Ike: Thanks babe [kiss]