Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Weather Report: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Anasui: Then ask.
Weather Report: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

Josuke: Quick! Act nonchalant!
Okuyasu: [does the robot]
Josuke: What are you doing?
Okuyasu: I don’t know what nonchalant means!
Josuke: So you decided to do the robot?!

Jotaro: I am a badass. A boss bitch. I feel nothing
Kakyoin: You cried for an hour yesterday after you saw ducklings following their mother
Jotaro, tearing up: They were just lined up so perfectly and they KNEW

Ghiaccio: Tell me anything. I take criticism very well.
Melone: No you don’t.
Ghiaccio, furious: What’s that supposed to mean?
Melone: Just that you don’t take criticism well.
Ghiaccio: WHY DON’T YOU JUST KICK ME IN THE FACE?

Jotaro: I’m a bad bitch! I don’t take shit from anyone! No one can tell me what to do! I work alone!
Also Jotaro, looking at the other Stardust Crusaders: Well, I can’t just leave these dumbasses behind.

Bruno: It's three in the morning, why are you awake?
Abbacchio: [20 glasses of wine in, crazed look in his eyes] I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence. I saw it in a movie once, and now I'm thinking… It can't be that hard

Jonathan: Exercise is important for a healthy lifestyle!
Dio: That’s why I do yoga daily.
Dio: [lays facedown on the floor]
Jonathan: You can’t just do the “corpse” pose for an hour!
Dio: Watch me.

Bruno: What are you drinking?
Abbacchio: Vodka.
Bruno: Straight?
Abbacchio: No, gay.
Bruno: Not you, the vodka.

Narancia: We live in an age where you can press a button and a dark web hitman shows up at your door and kills you. Technology is incredible.
Fugo: What button?
Fugo: WHAT FUCKING BUTTON?

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Addie: I think I'm in love with you.
Kay: You mean as friends?
Addie: No… I mean for real. Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try.
Kay: I try really hard, actually.

Kels: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Eliot: Then ask.
Kels: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

Deleted user

Jaq: We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter! Wonder who it's from
Letter: Melissa is flirting with Bastian, thought this was the best way to tell you, love Miranda
Jaq:
Jaq: We are gonna go murder draws knife We are gonna go murder

Uzula: How did you find me.
Bastian: Well, there's a link between you and Jaq's involving bloodlines-
Jaq: we typed "Bitch" in our gps and it led us to you.

@threesacult

Perry: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Elias: Then ask.
Perry: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

Jack: C'mon, how many times do I have to apologize?
Anthony: Once.
Jack:
Jack: No.

Drinn: How did you find me?
Tetra: We asked your brother-
Zephyr: We typed "bitch" in our GPS and here we are.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Mason: God is no longer with us, ill take over now

Jane: WHATS UP LOGANG TODAY WE'RE RUNNING FROM MY ABUSIVE DAD

Jax: (breaths)
Axel: Be quiet you annoying waste of life

Jax: Test me again and your heart won't go doki doki

Matthew: MY CAT WAS IN THE TREE!!
Cleo: It's probably dead.

Elijah, in a nutshell: It's everyday bro with that homicidal flow

Sophie: This show kinda sucks
Gaki, through the screen: I can see where you fucking live pal

Cleo: Twinkle twinkle little star, I hope I get hit by a car

Tori: Girl Scouts is just a cookie company that gets with free child labor.

Micheal: Anime is an important part of our culture!

Amberly: Do you know where you should target someone if you want to effectively torture them

@probablypolnareff

February 02, 2021

Jotaro: Twinkle twinkle little star, I hope I get hit by a car

Joseph: This show kinda sucks
DIO, through the screen: I can see where you fucking live pal

Giorno: [breaths]
Abbacchio: Be quiet you annoying waste of life

Hayato: WHATS UP LOGANG TODAY WE'RE RUNNING FROM MY ABUSIVE DAD

Yukako: Test me again and your heart won't go doki doki

Jotaro: We’re going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Josuke, to Jolyne: Yeah, kid. Listen to your father.
Jotaro: I was talking to you.

Kira: [tries to stab Jotaro and misses]
Jotaro: Strike one
Kira: That’s not how this works [tries again and misses]
Jotaro: Strike two
Kira, under his breath: fuck

Abbacchio: You’re a very nice boy, but…
Giorno: I’m not a boy, I’m a MAN!
Abbacchio: Well you’re actually a bitch but I was trying to be nice.

Diavolo: I have an idea.
Doppio: No murder.
Diavolo: I no longer have an idea.

Jotaro: Some people like to fucking curse but I don’t do that shit, I like to keep it fucking clean for the goddamn kids-

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

February 02, 2021

Lucas: L-Lipstick in my VALENTINO WHITE BAAAAAAAAGGGGGGG! You dumb T H O T! I'M GOING TO SPILL YOUR BLOOD IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG… Wait no that'll make it worse

Lucas: Now grab your dollar store appliances and let the food poisoning begin

@threesacult

Magnus: How would you describe your childhood?
Anthony: With adjectives.

@requiemisback

Mica: How would you describe your childhood?
Collin: With adjectives.

Collin: I have an idea.
Luso: No murder.
Collin: I no longer have an idea.

Mica: Exercise is important for a healthy lifestyle!
Collin: That’s why I do yoga daily.
Collin: [lays facedown on the floor]
Mica: You can’t just do the “corpse” pose for an hour!
Collin: Watch me.

Luso: We’re going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Collin, to Akko: Yeah, kid. Listen to your father.
Luso: I was talking to you.

Lotus: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together
Collin, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate

Lotus: You have friends and I envy that.
Mica: You’re welcome to share my friends.
Lotus: [looks at Collin and Mya]
Lotus: I don’t want those.

Collin, annoyed: I’m sorry I scattered teeth on your bed, I was trying to flirt

Luso: And as we snuff out these candles, we too snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.
Mica: Jesus Christ

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Victor: How would you describe your childhood?
Geneva: With adjectives.

Kels, to Tereza: I’m sorry I scattered teeth on your bed, I was trying to flirt

Calla: And as we snuff out these candles, we too snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.
Oleander: Holy Mab-

@IonizationEnergy

Nolan: How would you describe your childhood?
Brooks: With adjectives.

Wes: You have friends and I envy that.
AJ: You’re welcome to share my friends.
Wes: [looks at Isaac and Bristol]
Wes: I don’t want those.

@ElderGod-Icefire

Henry: You have friends and I envy that.
Richard: You're welcome to share my friends.
Henry: [looks at Marie]
Henry: I don't want that one.

Marie: You’re a very nice boy, but…
Henry: I’m not a boy, I’m a MAN!
Marie: Well you’re actually a bitch but I was trying to be nice.

Marie: [tries to stab Henry and misses]
Henry: Strike one
Marie: That’s not how this works [tries again and misses]
Henry: Strike two
Marie, under her breath: fuck

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Kels: You have friends and I envy that.
Imogen: You're welcome to share my friends.
Kels: Looks at Tabitha
Kels: I do not want that one.

Francesca: You’re a very nice boy, but…
Stephen: I’m not a boy, I’m a MAN!
Francesca: Well you’re actually a bitch but I was trying to be nice.

Kels: Tries to stab Ilsa and misses
Ilsa: Strike one
Kels: That is not how this works!
Kels: Tries again and misses
Ilsa: Strike two
Kels, under her breath: Fuck-

@ElderGod-Icefire

(dsbkjhfb I have another cast of characters I need to use lmao)
(Liam/Alex is the same character, I just haven't quite settled on his name yet lol)

Liam/Alex: You have friends and I envy that.
James: You can share my friends.
Liam/Alex: [Looks at Silas and Kian]
Liam/Alex: I don't want those.

Liam/Alex: tries to stab Allan and misses
Allan: Strike one
Liam/Alex: That's not how this works!
Liam/Alex: tries again and misses
Allan: Strike two
Liam/Alex, under his breath: Fuck–

Silas, to someone: I’m sorry I scattered teeth on your bed, I was trying to flirt

Allan: We’re going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Liam/Alex, to Silas: Yeah, kid. Listen to your father.
Allan: I was talking to you.

@requiemisback

Collin: What's the Chinese place we went to?
Luso: Uh.. China?
Collin: That's the one!

Lotus: [writing a letter] Mya, if you're reading this,
Luso: Can Mya even read?
Lotus:
Lotus: Collin, if you're reading this to Mya,

Collin: The sky is really beautiful tonight
Mya: You know what else is really beautiful?
Collin and Mya: [simultaneously] Lotus

Mica: Are you throwing rocks at my window? You know you have a phone, right?
Collin: You're right
Mica:
Mica: Did you just throw your phone at my window?

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Usopp, writing a letter: Luffy, if you're reading this,
Usopp: Can Luffy even read?
Usopp:
Usopp: Zoro, if you're reading this,
Usopp: Wait, can Zoro read?
Usopp: Sanji, if you're reading this,

@threesacult

Elias: You have friends and I envy that.
Quill: You're welcome to share my friends!
Elias: Looks at Perry
Elias: I do not want that one.

Drinn: Tries to stab Vio and misses
Vio: Strike one.
Drinn: That is not how this works!
Drinn: Tries again and misses
Vio: Strike two.
Drinn, under his breath: Fuck-

Zephyr, writing a letter: Drinn, if you're reading this,
Tetra: Can Drinn even read?
Zephyr:
Zephyr: Vio, if you're reading this to Drinn,

@Pickles

Ceza, writing a letter: Dad, if you're reading this,
Eleria: Can your dad even read?
Ceza:
Ceza: Captain, if you're reading this to Dad,

@croccin-champagne

nicky, writing a note: catori, if you're reading this,
cisco: can she even read?
nicky:
nicky: jo, if you're reading this to catori,

@Fairlyodd

Lynn: Are you okay?
Takeo: Yes…why?
Lynn: Because you asked the clerk at the store earlier if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.
Varian: [laughing in the distance]

Leaoni: Wren, you're our senior, it's your call.
Wren: Yes, of course.
Wren: (internally) I'm only like a level 3 adult Please Don't Make Me.

[During a fire]
Varian: [panics and throws a can of gasoline at the fire]
Alune: VARIAN WHAT THE FUCK.
Varian: I thought it was a watering can!

Sana: The moon is beautiful tonight.
Takeo: It really is.
Alune:…should we tell them that's a tortilla you stuck to the window?
Varian: Please don't.

[Loud explosion nearby]
Leaoni, taking out one earbud: What.

Graham: [wakes up] Where am i?
Leaoni, sarcastically: Dead.
Graham: [sees Varian is here too] I can't believe I ended up in hell.

@Starfast

Andor: Bending a spoon with my hands is the same as bending a spoon with my mind. my mind controls my hands, you see

Taven: The moon is beautiful tonight.
Keyla: It really is.
Savona:…should we tell them that's a tortilla you stuck to the window?
Farli: Please don't.

Dallas: How would you describe your childhood?
Ara: With adjectives.

Frank: Some people like to fucking curse but I don’t do that shit, I like to keep it fucking clean for the goddamn kids-

Valder: God is no longer with us, i'll take over now.

Gerard: Tell me anything. I take criticism very well.
Adelia: No you don’t.
Gerard: What’s that supposed to mean?
Adelia Just that you don’t take criticism well.
Gerard: WHY DON’T YOU JUST KICK ME IN THE FACE?

@croccin-champagne

catori: i was sacrificed to a false god aka a demon once so i think i'm allowed to become a deity now

Deleted user

Jaq: i was sacrificed to a false god aka a demon once so i think i'm allowed to become a deity now

@squiddicus

Meg and Shel: wear a slightly lighter shade of black
Ivy: I see you’re getting out the spring colors.

Liv: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Ivy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
[Jordan walks in]
Ivy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Ivy: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!
Liv: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from Kara!
Ivy, hanging it on the wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

Ivy: He died of natural causes.
Isla: You pushed him off a roof, Ivy.
Ivy: Gravity is nature

Liv: Damn the power went out
Ivy: Don’t worry, I got this
Ivy: [shakes rapidly and starts to light up]
Jordan: What-?
Ivy: I swallowed a glow stick!
Liv, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

Kara: We need to talk about-
Ivy and Bella: The building was already on fire when we got here.
Kara: What?
Ivy and Bella: What?

Jordan: If I died, how much would you miss me?
Ivy: It’s cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship.

Bella: Ivy and I make the same choices
Liv: Yeah, bad ones.

Liv: i wear clothes as dark as my soul.
Ivy: you’re literally wearing white.
Liv: precisely.

Jordan: I’m so useless
Ivy: No you’re not!
Ivy: You can be used as a bad example

Florence: My name is Florence. And you are?
Isla: Apparently not as straight as I previously thought

@requiemisback

Collin: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Mica: I didn’t eat my pen, Collin.

Lotus: Just once I’d like a childhood memory I don’t have to repress.

Collin: How was I supposed to know there’d be consequences for my actions?

Mya: You know you're not our dad, right?
Luso: You stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad.

Collin: Like Kai always says: when one door closes, choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force.

Minus: Is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive for this trip going ahead?
Kai: Minus, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

Collin: Alright…suggestions.
Mya: About what?
Collin: What are we talking about… The plan! We need a plan!
Mica: You said you had a plan!
Collin: My plan was to crowdsource a plan!

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Robin: Maybe nobody stole it. Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it.
Oberon: I didn’t eat my quill, Robin.

Ozzie: Just once I’d like a childhood memory I don’t have to repress.

Oleander: How was I supposed to know there’d be consequences for my actions?

Darius: You know you're not our dad, right?
Marcus: You stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad.

Kay: Like Kels always says: when one door closes, choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force.

Kels: Is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive for this trip going ahead?
Tabitha: Kels, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Tabitha: Wears a slightly lighter shade of black
Kay: I see you’re getting out the spring colors.

Portia: We need to talk about-
Talia: The building was already on fire when I got here.
Portia: What?
Talia: What?

Talia: Vince and I make the same choices.
Portia: Yeah, bad ones.

Oscar: My name is Oscar. And you are?
Nathaniel: Apparently not as straight as I previously thought-

@requiemisback

Collin: There’s no longer any blood in my body. It’s all gamer coolant! My entire body is a gaming computer! I have transcended into oblivion!

Minus: Kai's even wearing his formal leather jacket.
Kai: It's the one without any blood on it.

Minus: You tricked me.
Kai: I deceived you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

Collin: Luso said that I was perfectly fine. Except for three cracked ribs. And a broken toe. Which was right next to two other broken toes.
Mica: Did he clear you or not?
Collin: He did not. Alright, let's get to work.

Collin: We meant "stronger" here, right?
Lotus: What's it say?
Collin: "I'm proud to report our town is stranger than it was a year ago."
Lotus: That's a typo.
Collin: Could go either way.

Kai: Speak to me, descendant of Luso's blood.
Minus: Nothing to say! I've got a gesture for you, but my hands are tied.

Kai: You’re not calm, Minus. You’re acting like a nervous hoolelia.
Minus: A what?
Kai: May not be a word. May just be something my master used to say.

Collin: What should I do?
Luso: Oh…this is where I give you advice and pretend you're going to listen to it. I like this part.

@Fairlyodd

Frost: Agree to disagree!
Alune: No. I don't agree. You're wrong.

Frost: Kal's even wearing his formal leather jacket!
Kallai: It's the one without any blood on it.

Varian: Lynn said that I was perfectly fine. Except for three cracked ribs. And a broken toe. Which was right next to two other broken toes.
Alune: Did she clear you or not?
Varian: She did not. Alright, let's get to work!

Sana: Like Leaoni always says: when one door closes, choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force.
Takeo: Inspirational.

Leaoni: You know you're not our dad, right?
Graham: You stop acting like kids, I'll stop acting like your dad.

@requiemisback