Geneva: I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
Carrie: You know what this cereal is missing? Vodka.
Huxley: Sorry I'm late, I had a breakdown on my way here
Fern: Oh no! Is your car okay?
Huxley: Car?
Fern:
Huxley:
Dollie : Sorry I'm late , I had a breakdown on my way here
Luca : Oh no ! Is your car okay ?
Dollie : Car ?
Luca :
Dollie :
Shadow : You know what this cereal is missing ? Vodka .
Dollie : I have a girlfriend now .
Tamaki , encouragingly : A girlfriend ?
Dollie : [ Reflexively gives a panicked peace sign ]
Tamaki , gasping : Two girlfriends ?!
Peregrine: I have a girlfriend now.
Shanks, encouragingly: A girlfriend?
Peregrine: [Reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]
Shanks: Two girlfriends?!
Luffy: My new tactic to annoy Torao is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist.
Azami: …evil. But hilariously evil
Law, storming in: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T “BELIEVE” IN WATER?!
Zoro: You know what this cereal is missing? Vodka.
Peregrine: I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
Dollie : My new tactic to annoy Luca is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist .
Tamaki : …evil. But hilariously evil
Luca , storming in : WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T “ BELIEVE ” IN WATER ?!
Shadow : I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon . And I was raised better than that .
Judge : For your crimes , we sentence you to 68 years in prison .
Dollie :
Dollie : Can - can you add one more year ?
One of Felix's followers: Wise one, what is your wisdom?
Felix: Be gay. Do crime.
Melissa: I have a girlfriend now.
Austin encouragingly: A girlfriend?
Melissa: [Reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]
Austin: whistles Two girlfriends! I'm-
Melissa, blushing fiercely: NO.
Felix: My new tactic to annoy Jarrod is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist.
Austin: Evil. But hilariously evil.
Jarrod, storming in: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT “BELIEVE” IN WATER?!
Felix: I hate nature. It’s dirty. It’s unhygienic. And what’s that smell?
Emily: Grass.
Felix: Fucking disgusting.
-Cut to 3 hours later-
Felix, standing outside the back door: Just let me in!
Jarrod: Why the fuck were you rolling around in MUD!
Judge: For your crimes, we sentence you to 68 years in prison
Felix: Can- can you add one more year.
Jarrod: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Felix: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Austin: Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
Felix: I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
Felix: I don’t like your accusatory tone.
Jarrod: I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something.
Felix: Hey, can you pass the salt?
Jarrod: Can you do the damn dishes?
Felix: Too much salt.
Jarrod: Oh, hey, guys, where have you all been-
Melissa: The Jackson's barn's haunted.
Jarrod: …What?
Austin, grabbing a bat: Barn's haunted.
Melissa: My heart is guarded but, like… very poorly. With the kind of guards that would let three kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.
Melissa: Can I make a suggestion that doesn’t involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd?
Felix: Familial relationships are weird.
Felix: Like, I’d give Jarrod a kidney, no questions asked, but no way in hell is he touching my booze.
Felix: You and I have known each other for quite some time, right?
Jarrod: Yeah, we’ve been classmates for years. What is it?
Felix: Okay, just promise me you won’t get mad.
Jarrod: I’m not the type who gets angry easily, go ahead.
Felix: …What’s your name again?
Jarrod: I’m mad.
Felix: I like to stare directly into security cameras to let the government knows I'm watching them back.
Jarrod: Hey, El, there's been a rumor going around that you're gay. I just thought you should know.
Felix: …A rumor? You mean there are people doubting it?
Felix, covered in blood while everyone else is in Halloween costumes: Oh, it's Halloween.
Felix:
Felix: This was really, really good timing.
Martha: I have a girlfriend now.
Jackson: A girlfriend?
Martha: Reflexively gives a panicked peace sign
Jackson: Two girlfriends?!
Nich: My new tactic to annoy Samuel is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist.
Therese: Evil. But hilariously evil.
Samuel, storming in: What the hell do you mean you "don't believe in water"?!
Alessandra: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Percy: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Maia: Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
Nich: I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
.png)
Ace: My new tactic to annoy Riddle is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist.
Spade: Evil. But hilariously evil.
Riddle, storming in: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T “BELIEVE” IN WATER?!
Ace: Imagine: I come into your window at night and say "feel how cold my hands are" and put my cold hands on the back of your neck.
Jack: But my neck-
Ace: You should've thought of that before you went and had a neck.
Jack: Ace, Spade, say something to the first years.
Ace, to the first years: Aww-
Spade, also to the first years: Don't swear.
Ace: I'll kill you-
Jack, laughing nervously: Ace, no-
Ace: Okay. Pez, but instead of anything normal, it's my head snapping back and shooting my organs out.
Riddle:
Spade:
Jack:
Hollow:
Ace:
Ace: What? Did I say something wrong?
Love: My new tactic to annoy Emmett is to argue that something that's objectively real and 100% factual actually doesn't exist.
Jack: Evil. But hilariously evil.
Emmett, storming in: What the hell do you mean you "don't believe in water"?!
Jack: I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
Azazel: Okay. Pez, but instead of candy, it's my head snapping back and shooting my organs out.
Quill:
Anthony:
Cyrus:
Dally:
Azazel: What? Did I say something wrong?
The Erl King: Okay. Pez, but instead of candy, it's my head snapping back and shooting my organs out.
Oleander:
Oberon:
Titania:
Robin:
The Erl King: What? Did I say something wrong?
Chan: Hey Ren, did Rasputin do something problematic?
Ren: Did-
Ren: Did Rasputin do something problematic-
Chan: I thought he was just Russia’s greatest love machine!
Chan: Hmm. I fucked up
Lucas: What'd you do this time?
Chan: Head empty, no thoughts, I put our plastic shower curtain in the drying machine
Lucas: Well, it's clean now
Chan: It's clean now
Chan: My body is nOT a "temple". It's a clown car and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE
Chan: Sorry if you don't think I'm funny but that’s not my problem. My target audience has already been met.
Lucas: Who's your target audience?
Chan: Me.
Meg, covered in blood while everyone else is in Halloween costumes: Oh, it's Halloween.
Meg:
Meg: This was really, really good timing.
Laetus: This is what, the third time I've nearly died?
Heli, not looking up from his journal: Fifth.
Laetus: Really? That many?
Theo: Please don't tell me you're bringing Mito.
Stella: He's harmless.
Theo: He stabbed Pira. Twice.
Stella: An honest mistake.
Theo: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Pira: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Jack: My body is nOT a "temple". It's a clown car and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.
Hollow writing a book
Hollow: Horrible things keep happening to my characters and I don't know why-
Hollow's brain: Make it worse.
Hollow: But why mus-
Hollow's brain, interrupting: You gotta.
Ace: Guys, I have a problem…
[long pause]
Ace: I think I may be gayer than God originally planned me to be.
Ace: Tall people are our true enemies.
Mal, who is 6'5: I can't even see you hatin' from all the way down there.
Quill: My body is not a temple. It is a clown car and none of these bitches know how to drive
Dally: Guys, I have a problem.
[Dramatic pause]
Dally: I think I may be gayer than God intended me to be.
Me, the author: Horrible things keep happening to my characters and I don't know why.
My brain: Make it worse.
Me: But why mus-
My brain, interrupting: You gotta.
Cyrus: Tall people are our true enemies.
Jack, who is around seven feet tall: I can't even see you hating from all the way down there.
Anthony: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Cyrus: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Dally: Bigfoot but shaven.
Cyrus: Mr. Clean.
Anthony: You two are the reason why I have anxiety.
Cyrus: Well, God let me live again, and I am going to make it everyone else's problem
Vio: Is Zee okay?
Drinn: They're fine.
Zephyr: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated parmesan…there will be no survivors.
Vio:
Drinn: They're having a day.
Karma: Mistakes were made.
Love: By you.
Karma: And people got hurt.
Love: By you!
Varian: [kicks the G off graveyard sign]
Takeo: let’s get this party started.
Marcello: Wow, three tattoos…those are pretty permanent, you know.
Varian: Wow, three children…those are pretty permanent, dad.
Madam Margo, without looking up from her newspaper: Both can be removed with lasers.
Wren, on the verge of tears: Okay not that I care, but-
Guard: You have the right to remain silent.
Varian: But do I have the ability?
Wren: Hey, how long would it take until you start hallucinating from sleep loss?
Leaoni: Uh, I think -
Alune, visibly shaking: Seventy-two hours without sleep
Leaoni: How do you know?
Alune: There's a clown behind you. [aggressively chugs coffee]
Marcello: Where is my son?
Madam Margo: Which one?
Marcello: I don't know, they all look the same.
Takeo: My body is not a temple. It is a clown car and none of these bitches know how to drive
Alune: Tall people are our true enemies.
Wren: I can't even see you hating from all the way down there.
Varian: Well, God let me live again, and I am going to make it everyone else's problem
Kallai: Is Frost okay?
Sana: He's fine.
Frost: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated parmesan…there will be no survivors.
Kallai:
Sana: He's having a day.
Frost: Mistakes were made.
Alune: By you.
Frost: And people got hurt.
Alune: By you!
Oscar: Guys, I have a problem.
Oscar: Dramatic pause
Oscar: I think I may be gayer than the gods intended me to be.
Nich: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Therese: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Martha: Bigfoot but shaven.
Jackson: Mr. Clean.
Victor: You two are the reason why I have anxiety.
Cordelia: Well, the gods let me live again, and I am going to make it everyone else's problem
Titania: Is Robin okay?
Oberon: They're fine.
Robin: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated cheese, there will be no survivors.
Titania:
Oberon: They're having a day.
Elliot: Mr. Felix, can you please refrain from fucking shit up
Riddle: Ace, can you please refrain from fucking shit up?
Ace:
Ace: Nah.
Spade: Do you guys ever just feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Ace: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Spade:
Spade: I'm going to ignore that.
Ace: Good morning, cruel world.
Hollow: Don't you mean goodbye?
Ace: No, I meant good morning. This world may be cruel, but I'm still kickin'.
Oliver: Fox, can you please refrain from fucking shit up?
Nich: Nah.
Ansel: Do you guys ever just feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Oliver: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Jon: That was uncalled for.
Dawn: It's a matter of gay or death
Jane: Spam?! Snackers!? WE'LL DIE OF TYPE TWO DIABETES BEFORE WE DIE OF STARVATION
Elijah: You forfeited your life privileges
Alex: If you don't like my tuna casserole you are a dumbass and a liar, or worse; a vegan.
Elijah: One percent, represent
Law: Azami-ya, can you please refrain from fucking shit up?
Azami: Nah.
Usopp: Do you guys ever just feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Brook: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Sanji, terrified: That was uncalled for.
Mihawk: Is Estella.. okay?
Peregrine: She's fine.
Estella: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated cheese, there will be no survivors.
Mihawk:
Peregrine: She's having a day.
Luca: Is Dollie . . . okay?
Tamaki: Xe's fine.
Dollie: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated cheese, there will be no survivors.
Luca:
Tamaki: Xe's having a day.
Luca: Do you guys ever just . . . feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Dollie: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Tamaki, absolutely terrified: That . . . That was uncalled for.
Tetra: Zee, can you please refrain from fucking shit up?
Zephyr: Nah.
Cyrus: Do you guys ever just feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Jack: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Cyrus: That was uncalled for.
Quill: Is Azzi okay?
Tracey: Xe's fine.
Azazel: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated cheese, and there will be no survivors.
Quill:
Tracey: Xe's having a day.
William: They always say ok boomer but never are you ok, boomer
Lucas: Ok boomer
William: Lucas, get out
Matthew: I don't think my father would raise me to become a murderer
Mark, In the afterlife: Kill him!
Lucas: I have to use the bathroom
William: It's may
Lucas: No, It's February
Lucas: ¬‿¬
William: ╭∩╮（︶_︶）╭∩╮
Duke, during the apolcyse: God has left, I'll take over now
Sophie: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Micheal:
Lucas: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Micheal: What the hell is wrong with you two?
Lucas and Sophie: THE FOLKS ARE GONE! IT'S TIME FOR BIG FUN
Elliot: Ahh, wouldn't it be great if Santa actually gave is what we want this year
Theo: Yeah, what do you usually put down
Skylar: Mental stability, but also a sugar daddy, and spiderman merch
Elliott: Life without anxiety, a pet pig, and skinny privilege
Theo: Hmm, mice dressed in people clothes how about you. What about you, Cleo
Cleo: Well I have everything I could ever want right here
Theo: Aww
Cleo: I was talking about my Netflix subscription
Elliot: That's our Cleo
Noelle: Man, sure is lovely out
Amerly: Ah
Noelle: Ah
Amerly: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU
Noelle: Could say the same thing about you, pal
Amery: Were you watching us
Noelle: Little bit
Amerly: You sick daughter of bitch
Noelle: At least, I'm not playing where someone got chopped the fuck up
Valerie to Sophie: My middle finger gets a boner every time it's see you
Charlie: What is an emo kid without his closest allies… and Terry
Sophie: Is it just me or does it sound like something died
Ava: It's all in your head
Sophie: D-do you mean that
Ava: No, I'm just telling you want to hear, you maggot
Sophie: It's one thing to lie but do you have to call me a maggot
Sophie: Charlie is just trying to help, well he's failing miserably but he's trying to help
Lucas: No airpods, you smell like broke
Tori, shouting at a mall Santa: Hey Santa! Merry Christmas you capitalist pig, OINK OINK
Mason playing Staying Alive
Sophie: Why do I hear boss music
Describing Mavis: Frightening Cinnamon Roll Too Grisly For This World, Too Intimidating
Huxley: I don't think my parents would raise me to become a murderer.
Felicity, In the afterlife: Kill him!
Jackson: Charlie is just trying to help.
Jackson: He's failing miserably, but he's trying to help.
[Riddle, trying to teach Ace math]
Riddle: [tries to draw a line but ends up making a mistake] Oh, my bad. That line was supposed to be straight-
Ace: Don't worry. So was I.
Ace: You call it "really bad at darts," but I like to call it freestyle acupuncture.
Riddle: Get out.
Hollow: Ace, stop bullying Riddle. He is just trying to help.
Hollow: He's failing miserably, but he's trying to help.
Varian: So what if I'm in love with you? Mind your own business.
Frost: Takeo, put some sunscreen on.
Takeo: Frost, I'm a grown man, I don't need that.
Frost:
Frost: You think you're stronger than the sun?
Takeo:
Frost: The fucking sun?
Sana: So, how did you guys meet?
Varian: It was so cute!
Alune: We were trying to kill each other, Varian.
Varian: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.
Alune: Thanks. And if I may return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less annoying.
Sana: [with a large box in her hand] What would you say if I came home with four puppies?
Kallai:
Kallai: Sana, What's in the box?
Sana:
Sana: I think you know.
Kallai: What’s on your mind?
Frost: Our fingers have fingertips but our toes don’t have toetips. And yet we can tiptoe, but we can’t tipfinger?
Kallai: I shouldn’t have asked.
Takeo: O.O
[Alune, trying to teach Varian math]
Alune: [*tries to draw a line but ends up making a mistake] Oh, my bad. That line was supposed to be straight-
Varian: Don't worry. So was I.
Leaoni: You call it "really bad at darts," but I like to call it freestyle acupuncture.
Alune: Get out.
Kallai: Leaoni, stop bullying Frost. He is just trying to help.
Kallai: He's failing miserably, but he's trying to help.
Anthony: So what if I'm in love with you? Mind your own business.
Poli: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.
Tetra: Thanks. And if I may return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less annoying.
Nich: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.
Samuel: Thank you. And if I may return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less annoying.
Ren: Chan, can you please refrain from fucking shit up?
Chan: Nah.
Elyas: Do you guys ever just feel bugs on you, even when there's no bugs?
Lucas: They're the ghosts of bugs you've killed.
Elyas: That was uncalled for.
Elyas: Is Ren okay?
Zephyr: She's fine.
Ren: The next time the waitress says “Say when”, I won’t say anything. I’ll refuse to back down. The room will fill with grated cheese, and there will be no survivors.
Elyas:
Zephyr: She's having a day.
Zephyr: You call it "really bad at darts," but I like to call it freestyle acupuncture.
Elyas: Get out.
Chan: You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've become a lot more fun since I've known you.
Lucas: Thanks. And if I may return the compliment, I think you've become marginally less annoying.
Ren: My problem is that you'll give me a due date, and my brain thinks it's weeks farther than it actually is
Elyas: Sir please, that's my emotional support stack of books I haven't read
Me: Help, the characters I created for a joke have detailed tragic backstory and epic lore now