forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

tune

Elias: I've been dropping subtle hints that I like Quill for so long, and she's still not catching on. I don't get it.
Quill: Hey, cou-
Elias: I can't fucking stand you.

Cyrus: Why are you looking at me through a fork?
Anthony: I'm pretending you're in jail.
Cyrus: Why?
Anthony: It's spiritually healing.

Dally: Hey Kane, feel my shirt.
Dally: You know what material that is?
Anthony: Cotton?
Dally: It's boyfriend material.
Anthony: …Pretty sure that's cotton.

Quill: You ever wonder if you’re the bad guy in somebody else’s story?
Jack: You babbling fool, I'm the bad guy in my own story.

Quill: Do you prefer women or men?
Dally: I prefer adrenaline

Love: You need to go to therapy.
Jack: Stop trusting everyone in my life? Try to control all my emotions?
Love: No, you need to go to therapy.
Jack: Hide everything about myself to be mysterious!
Love: Go. To. THERAPY.
Jack: Oh! Fall into a pit of paranoia!
Love: THERAPY

resurfacing with new content

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Harper: Psychological fact, people who are fascinated by serial killers were rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who are not
Selena: And yet you still suck at carrying on a conversation

---

Tess, drunk and dangling upside down on the couch: We should be thankful that "anti-thunderstorms" with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud, high-pitch screeches, don't exist
Alexis: What the actual fuck
Kit: Actually no I wanna see that shit

---

Angel: Woah girl, are you from France 'cause maddamn
Tess: gags

---

Phoenix: Ah yes, the Trojan horse, or, as I like to call it, murderous piñata

---

Angel: Here's a concept. Me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling
Tess: What the fuck is wrong with you?

---

Harper, on a research rabbit hole at 3am: "People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water." Wow Bukowski so profound. Do you also bathe fully clothed, you dickhead? "Oohh isn't it funny that a person will eat when they're hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face"

---

Kit: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah I'm that kind of trash.

---

Harper: Anything you say can and will be held against you so only say my name
Damien: dying
Selena: That's smooth as fuck holy shit
Phoenix: hOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM FALL OUT BOY

---

Harper: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient
Harper: This is coming from a thieving lawyer-wannabe. I speaketh the truth

---

Selena: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic
Selena: Faeries live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department
Harper: Stop romanticizing Home Depot
Selena: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you

---

Ronan, flipping through one of his med school books: Based on genital structure, men should really be the ones wearing skirts and women should be wearing pants
Tess, sitting on a pile of more medical books: The Scots were right all along
Ronan: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies
Tess: The Scots were right all along

---

Phonix: Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Satan slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering "mayonnaise"
Damien: I feel so uncomfortable

---

Harper, on a drunken rant: There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM
Selena, also drunk but supporting him: I completely photosynthesize with this

---

Angel: Ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions, the Russian, French, and Dance Dance

---

Damien, to Harper: The moon is proud of you
Selena: And so are the stars
Damien: And so is the sun
Phoenix: The aliens are watching you, a little confused about your life choices but are proud of you too

---

Angel: Why do Germans use smiles like this :) or this :0 if they already got Ü and Ö
Tess: I just texted my German cousin and she replied "WE DO NOT SMILE IN GERMANY"

---

Kasto, wearing a blanket as a cloak, stirring his mac'n'cheese in a dimly lit room: potion

---

Bast: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined
Kasto: Heck
Bast: You're on thin fucking ice
Bast:
Bast: Oh no

---

Finley: Why door is shut? Stick paw under to solve mystery
Kasto: Paw under door did nothing. Next option: sit in front of door and SCREAM

---

Harper: As a procrastinating overachiever I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think the fuck Not

---

Selena: Good morning
Damien: Good morning
Harper: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Phoenix: busts through door with a martini: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

---

Tess: I hate how reward systems never work for me. Like I can't just say "if I finish this assignment I can have a cookie" because my brain is like "….or you could just have one right now" and I can't argue with that logic
Angel: Self-imposed deadlines don't work either because I know the guy who set them and he's full of shit

---

Damien, texting Selena in the middle of the night: My boyfriend—who is asleep—just rolled over, wrapped his arms around me, and very lovingly whispered "I want to murder you"
Selena: The important thing is she hasn't yet and that means she loves you

---

Ronan: When people are electrocuted and thrown far distances, it's a result of sudden and violent muscle contraction and not the result of the shock. This has rasied questions as to the actual strength and capabilities of the muscles in the human body
Tess: First of all, I know damn well it's four in the morning in Hawaii, go to bed. Second of all, are you telling me we are capable of yeeting ourselves when under extreme stress?

---

Tess: I asked my Italian father if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame

---

Ryker: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like "look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing"
Angel: Wow you are not ready to hear about trees

---

Harper: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

---

Damien: Am I the only one that finds it weird that I can trasnfer data from my brain to someone else's by opening my mouth and pushing air with vibrations in their direction?
Harper, concerned: How high are you?
Damien, deadpan: 6'6

---

Kit: The fact that the Russian language doesn't have articles makes me lose my mind. So when you ask someone "Где водка?" it translates to "where is the vodka?" But in my horrible backwards English brain, if I don't see any articles I assume they aren't there, so yelling "ГДЕ ВОДКА" translates to "WHERE VODKA" like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to
Kostya: Speaking as a Russian-Russian who speaks the language, even if Russians did have articles, they would still slam open the door yelling "WHERE VODKA" at all times

---

Kit, trying to spell something in French: uhhhhhh I think that's enough vowels
Ryker: Youe fooule… youe insouelente coweurde

Lyra: Psychological fact, people who are fascinated by serial killers were rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who are not.
Dima: And yet you still suck at carrying on a conversation.

Lyra, drunk and dangling upside down on the couch: We should be thankful that "anti-thunderstorms" with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud, high-pitch screeches, don't exist
Trix: What the actual fuck.
Dima: Actually no, I wanna see that.

Max, a history major: Ah yes, the Trojan horse, or, as I like to call it, * the murder piñata*

Robin: Here's a concept. Me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling
Titania: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Beck, on a research rabbit hole at 3am: "People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water." Wow, Bukowski so profound. Do you also bathe fully clothed, you dickhead? "Oohh isn't it funny that a person will eat when they're hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face-"

Oleander: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.

Nich: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient
Nich: This is coming from a thief. I speak the truth.

Harper: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic
Harper: Faeries live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department
Beck: Stop romanticizing Home Depot
Harper: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you

Victor, flipping through one of his med school books: Based on genital structure, males should really be the ones wearing skirts and females should be wearing pants.
Geneva, sitting on a pile of more medical books: The Scots were right all along.
Victor: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies.
Geneva: The Scots were right all along.

Robin: Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Hemlock slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering "mayonnaise"
Oberon: I feel so uncomfortable

Frankie, on a drunken rant: There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM
Barry, completely sober: I photosynthesize with this

Jackson: Ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions, the Russian, French, and Dance Dance.

Harper, wearing a blanket as a cloak, stirring her mac'n'cheese in a dimly lit room: Potion.

Jackson: As a procrastinating overachiever I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think the fuck not.

Victor: When people are electrocuted and thrown far distances, it's a result of sudden and violent muscle contraction and not the result of the shock. This has raised questions as to the actual strength and capabilities of the muscles in the human body.
Alice: First of all, I know damn well it's four in the morning in Wisconsin, go to bed. Second of all, are you telling me we are capable of yeeting ourselves when under extreme stress?

Della: I asked my Italian mother if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and she looked at me with so much shame

Vince: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

Felix: Psychological fact, people who are fascinated by serial killers were rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who are not
Jarrod: And yet you still suck at carrying on a conversation

Felix: Ah yes, the Trojan horse, or, as I like to call it, murderous piñata

Austin: Here's a concept. Me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling
Mel: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Mel: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah I'm that kind of trash.

Jarrod: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient
Jarrod: This is coming from a thieving lawyer-wannabe. I speaketh the truth

Austin: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic
Austin: Faeries live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department
Mel: Stop romanticizing Home Depot
Austin: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you

Mel: Based on genital structure, men should really be the ones wearing skirts and women should be wearing pants
Austin: The Scots were right all along
Jarrod: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies
Austin: The Scots were right all along

Austin: Ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions, the Russian, French, and Dance Dance

Em, to Austin: The moon is proud of you
Mel: And so are the stars
Felix And so is the sun
Jarrod: The aliens are watching you, a little confused about your life choices but are proud of you too

Mel: Why do Germans use emojis like this :) or this :0 if they already got Ü and Ö
Mel: I just texted my German cousin and she replied "WE DO NOT SMILE IN GERMANY"

Austin, wearing a blanket as a cloak, stirring his mac'n'cheese in a dimly lit room: poshun

Mel: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined
Austin: Heck
Mel: You're on thin fucking ice
Mel:
Mel: Oh no

Em: Why door is shut? Stick paw under to solve mystery
Em: Paw under door did nothing. Next option: sit in front of door and SCREAM

Austin: As a procrastinating overachiever I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think the fuck Not

Em: Good morning
Jarrod: Good morning
Austin: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Felix: busts through door with a martini: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
Austin: Forget I said anything.

Mel: I hate how reward systems never work for me. Like I can't just say "if I finish this assignment I can have a cookie" because my brain is like "….or you could just have one right now" and I can't argue with that logic
Austin: Self-imposed deadlines don't work either because I know the guy who set them and he's full of shit

Jarrod, texting Austin in the middle of the night: My boyfriend—who is asleep—just rolled over, wrapped his arms around me, and very lovingly whispered "I want to murder you"
Austin: The important thing is he hasn't yet and that means he loves you

Jarrod working overtime: When people are electrocuted and thrown far distances, it's a result of sudden and violent muscle contraction and not the result of the shock. This has raised questions as to the actual strength and capabilities of the muscles in the human body
Austin: First of all, I know damn well it's four in the morning in Hawaii, go to bed. Second of all, are you telling me we are capable of yeeting ourselves when under extreme stress?

Mel: I asked my father if the rough parts of Italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame

Felix: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like "look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing"
Austin: Wow you are not ready to hear about trees

Felix: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

Felix: Am I the only one that finds it weird that I can transfer data from my brain to someone else's by opening my mouth and pushing air with vibrations in their direction?
Jarrod, concerned: How high are you?
Felix, deadpan: 5'7

Jarrod: The fact that the Russian language doesn't have articles makes me lose my mind. So when you ask someone "Где водка?" it translates to "where is the vodka?" But in my horrible backwards English brain, if I don't see any articles I assume they aren't there, so yelling "ГДЕ ВОДКА" translates to "WHERE VODKA" like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to
Felix: Speaking as someone who knows Russians and who speaks the language, even if Russians did have articles, they would still slam open the door yelling "WHERE VODKA" at all times

Jarrod, trying to spell something in French: uhhhhhh I think that's enough vowels
Felix: Youe fooule… youe insouelente coweurde

Teigi: Psychological fact, people who are fascinated by serial killers were rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who are not.
Peregrine: And yet you still suck at carrying on a conversation.

Azami, drunk and dangling upside down on the couch: We should be thankful that "anti-thunderstorms" with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud, high-pitch screeches, don't exist
Nami: What the actual fuck.
Sanji: Actually no, I wanna see that.
Considering the weather in the New World, that could be a thing on some island somewhere

Estella: Ah yes, the Trojan horse, or, as I like to call it, * the murder piñata*

Estella: Here's a concept. Me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. You, smacking me with a broom. Both of us are yelling
Peregrine: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Cavendish: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.

Nami: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient
Nami: This is coming from a thief. I speak the truth.

Jax, flipping through one of her medical books: Based on genital structure, males should really be the ones wearing skirts and females should be wearing pants.
Penguin, sitting on a pile of more medical books: The Scots were right all along.
Shachi: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies.
Penguin: The Scots were right all along.

Estella: Having seaweed rub against you when you're swimming in the ocean is like having Satan slowly caress your legs and toes while smiling creepily at you and whispering "mayonnaise"
Mihawk: I feel so uncomfortable

Robin, on a drunken rant: There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM
Zoro, completely sober: I photosynthesize with this

Azami: Ah yes, the three most historically important revolutions, the Russian, French, and Dance Dance.

Azami, wearing a blanket as a cloak, stirring her mac'n'cheese in a dimly lit room: Potion.

Cavendish: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

Nich: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.

Beck: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Cora: Heck
Beck: You're on thin goddamn ice-
Beck:
Beck: Oh no.

Adam: Why door is shut? Stick paw under to solve mystery
Adam: Paw under door did nothing. Next option: sit in front of door and SCREAM
Yes that's technically an Incorrect Quote for a cat, no I am not accepting criticism

Aristotle: Good morning.
Miette: Good morning.
Nathaniel: Good morning.
Erik: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Douglas, bursting through door with a martini: MORNING, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Erik: Forget I said anything.

Jackson: I hate how reward systems never work for me. Like I can't just say "if I finish this assignment I can have a cookie" because my brain is like "….or you could just have one right now" and I can't argue with that logic
Jackson: Self-imposed deadlines don't work either because I know the guy who set them and he's full of shit

Portia: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole

Andor: Why would anyone willingly go to church?
Jackie: Free wine.

Kit: We can never let anyone know that we got beat up by Caleb.
Leo: Agreed.
Kit: Take it to the grave?
Leo: To the grave.
Kit: This conversation never happened.
Leo: I don't even know who you are.
Kit: …That's hurtful, you took it too far.
Leo: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say.

Milo: Truth or dare?
Taven: Truth.
Milo: I dare you to kiss Keyla.
Taven: Alright, fine.
Farli: He didn't even say dare though??

Andor: I hate when Ara says, "Are you even listening to me?" It's such a random way to start a conversation…

Ara: There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM
Andor: I photosynthesize with this.

Jackie: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.

Crispin: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like "look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing"
Kit: Wow you are not ready to hear about trees

Cal: Good morning
Savona: Good morning
Keyla: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Milo: *busts through door with a martini* MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
Keyla: Forget I said anything.

Dallas: As a procrastinating overachiever I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think the fuck Not

Dallas, trying to spell something in French: uhhhhhh I think that's enough vowels
Ara: Youe fooule… youe insouelente coweurde

Leo: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined
Crispin: Heck
Leo: You're on thin fucking ice
Leo:
Leo: Oh no

Crispin, left alone with a kid:
Kid:
Crispin: Say fuck.

Milo: You may not know this, Garzlan, but I am a flawed person-
Garzlan: I do know that.

Andor: Would it be stupid if I-
Ara: Yes.

Vozreal: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.

Vozreal: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient
Vozreal: This is coming from a demon. I speak the truth.

Vozreal, flipping through one of his medical books: Based on genital structure, males should really be the ones wearing skirts and females should be wearing pants.
Allison, sitting on a pile of more medical books: The Scots were right all along.
Azrael: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies.
Rachel: The Scots were right all along.

Allison: The fact that the Russian language doesn't have articles makes me lose my mind. So when you ask someone "Где водка?" it translates to "where is the vodka?" But in my horrible backwards English brain, if I don't see any articles I assume they aren't there, so yelling "ГДЕ ВОДКА" translates to "WHERE VODKA" like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to
Vozreal: Speaking as someone who knows Russians and who speaks the language, even if Russians did have articles, they would still slam open the door yelling "WHERE VODKA" at all times

Mel: Why would anyone willingly go to church?
Austin: Free wine.

Jarrod: We can never let anyone know that we got beat up by Austin.
Felix: Agreed.
Jarrod: Take it to the grave?
Felix: To the grave.
Jarrod: This conversation never happened.
Felix: I don't even know who you are.
Jarrod: …That's hurtful, you took it too far.
Felix: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say.

Austin: Truth or dare?
Felix: Truth.
Austin: I dare you to kiss Jarrod.
Felix: Alright, fine.
Em: He didn't even say dare though??

Felix: I hate when Jarrod says, "Are you even listening to me?" It's such a random way to start a conversation…

Claudio: We can never let anyone know that we lost to Kat.
Frankie: Agreed.
Claudio: Take it to the grave?
Frankie: To the grave.
Claudio: This conversation never happened.
Frankie: I don't even know who you are.
Claudio: That's hurtful, you took it too far.
Frankie: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say.

Jackson: I hate when Geneva says, "Are you even listening to me?" It's such a random way to start a conversation.

Adrian: Oh. My. Kimin.
Seokju: Don't you mean God?
Adrian: You worship your own thing, I'll worship my own thing.

Hyungwon: I once asked Jaesung to bring me some snacks and he came back with nothing saying he was the snack.
Haeil: I once asked Matthew for a glass of water and he gave me vinegar.
Hyungwon and Haeil: [sigh] They don't know how to appreciate us.

Knight: I am a father.
Louis: It's a cat.
Knight: HE'S MY BLOOD!

[on a plane]
Stewardess: Now, before we take off, please ensure that all small items are secured.
Jaeseok: Psst.
Ash: What?
Jaeseok: Do you feel safe?
Ash: I WILL HIT YOU!

C.Ro: Power move- possessing the demon before it possess you.
Elijah: Please go to sleep.

JJ, pulling on a door that says "push":
Byungho, filming: Pull harder.

Louis: I am a father.
Trinity: It's a cat.
Louis: SHE'S MY BLOOD!

Anne, writing a letter to her parents: I'd say it's been fun, but I'm not a liar-
Ginny: L-I-E-R, babe.
Anne:
Anne: We get it, Ginny, you're a good speller.

Samuel: You better stop making fun of me, or I'm going to…going to do something to you!
Nich: Oh yeah? What're you gonna do?
Samuel: I'm going to kick your…head!
Nich: My head?
Samuel: Yes!
Nich: Not my ass?
Samuel: …yes!
Nich: Let's see it then! Kick my head! C'mon, show me that roundhouse! Show me that sweeping crane kick your teachers taught you!

Douglas: I want to apologize. I've been an awful person.
Douglas, pointing at Aristotle: I mean, I wanted to abandon Andrey back there.
Aristotle: Aristotle.
Douglas: Gesundheit.

Leo: Some say the political system is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. How would you respond to that, Your Highness?
Kit:
Kit: I would like to use my lifeline.

Andor: Don't correct me.
Ara: Don't be wrong.

Dallas: Are you guys twins?
Brian: No.
Holly: We're just really close cousins.

Gerard: So, there may be some more bad news.
Gerard: Or as I'm learning to call it, news.

Leo, reading a recipe: “Beat three eggs”
Crispin: … at what? Hand-to-hand combat?
Leo: Must be. Frank banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

Marigold: Some say the political system is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. How would you respond to that, Your Highness?
Iam:
Iam: I would like to use my lifeline.

Peter: Don't correct me.
Kate: Don't be wrong.

Marian: Are you guys twins?
Beatrice: No.
Oscar: We're just really close cousins.

Arthur: So, there may be some more bad news.
Arthur: Or as I'm learning to call it, news.

Azami, reading a recipe: “Beat three eggs”
Zoro: … at what? Hand-to-hand combat?
Azami: Must be. Sanji banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

Estella:So, there may be some more bad news.
Estella: Or as I'm learning to call it, news.

Vivi: I am a mother.
Nami: It's a duck.
Vivi: HE'S MY BLOOD!

Luffy: I hate when Torao says, "Are you even listening to me?" It's such a random way to start a conversation.

Estella: Why would anyone willingly go to church?
Shanks: Free wine.

Penguin: We can never let anyone know that we got beat up by Jax.
Shachi: Agreed.
Penguin: Take it to the grave?
Shachi: To the grave.
Penguin: This conversation never happened.
Shachi: I don't even know who you are.
Penguin: …That's hurtful, you took it too far.
Shachi: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say.

Azami: Truth or dare?
Sanji: Truth.
Azami: I dare you to kiss Zoro.
Sanji: Alright, fine.
Nami: She didn't even say dare though?

Austin: Oh. My. Em.
Mel: …Don't you mean God?
Austin: You worship your own thing, I'll worship my own thing.

Em: I am a father.
Austin: It's a cat.
Em: HE'S MY BLOOD!

[on a plane]
Stewardess: Now, before we take off, please ensure that all small items are secured.
Jarrod: Psst.
Felix: What?
Jarrod: Do you feel safe?
Felix: I WILL HIT YOU!

Austin, texting Mel: Power move: possessing the demon before it possess you.
Mel: Please go to sleep.

Felix, writing a letter to his enemies: I'd say it's been fun, but I'm not a liar-
Jarrod lying through his ass: L-I-E-R, babe.
Felix:
Felix: We get it, Jarrod, you're a good speller.

Felix: You better stop making fun of me, or I'm going to…going to do something to you!
Jarrod: Oh yeah? What're you gonna do?
Felix: I'm going kick your…head!
Jarrod: My head?
Felix: Yes!
Jarrod: Not my ass?
Felix: …yes!
Jarrod: Let's see it then! Kick my head! C'mon, show me that roundhouse! Show me that sweeping crane kick your teachers taught you!

Felix: I want to apologize. I've been an awful person.
Felix, pointing at Austin: I mean, I wanted to abandon Albuquerque back there.
Austin: Austin.
Felix: Gesundheit.

Missy: Some say the Family's leadership is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. How would you respond to that, Boss?
Felix:
Felix: I would like to use my lifeline.

Austin: So, there may be some more bad news.
Austin: Or as I'm learning to call it, news.

Em, reading a recipe: “Beat three eggs”
Felix: … at what? Hand-to-hand combat?
Em: Must be. Jarrod banned swords in the kitchen, remember?

Oops, just my roleplay charries who might not even get a story-

Ozzie: I am a father.
Sybil: It's a cat.
Ozzie: HE'S MY BLOOD!

Sybil: Power move: possessing the demon before it possess you.
Vera: Please go to sleep.

Vera: You better stop making fun of me, or I'm going to…going to do something to you!
Sybil: Oh yeah? What're you gonna do?
Vera: I'm going kick your…head!
Sybil: My head?
Vera: Yes!
Sybil: Not my ass?
Vera: …yes!

Sybil: I want to apologize. I've been an awful person.
Sybil, pointing at Ozzie: I mean, I wanted to abandon Osric back there.
Ozzie: Oswald.
Sybil: Gesundheit.

Ozzie: So, there may be some more bad news.
Ozzie: Or as I'm learning to call it, news.

Rhoda: Some say the Family's leadership is bogged down by ideological hard-liners unwilling to compromise. How would you respond to that, Natalia?
Talia:
Talia: I would like to use my lifeline.

Ozzie, on the phone with someone: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?
Vera: Would you please stop calling me that?

Vera: Please shut up.
Sybil: Well, since you asked nicely, no.

Sybil: You may not know this, Oswald, but I am a flawed person-
Ozzie: I do know that.

Sybil: You sure you’re sober enough to drive?
Vera: Yeah, I didn’t drink anything
Sybil: Okay, go get the car
Ozzie: Running after Vera
Sybil: It’s okay, she’s sober!
Ozzie: SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!

Emil: I am a mother.
Varhmiel: I'm a fallen angel
Emil: YOU'RE MY BLOOD!

Emil, offended: Don't correct me
Varhmiel: Don't be wrong

[on a plane]
Stewardess: Now, before we take off, please ensure that all small items are secured
Emil: Psst
Varhmiel: What?
Emil: Do you feel safe?
Varhmiel: I WILL HIT YOU!

Emil: I want to apologize. I've been an awful person
Emil, pointing at Varhmiel: I mean, I wanted to abandon Victor back there
Varhmiel: Varhmiel
Emil: Gesundheit

Emil: Oh. My. Victor.
Varhmiel: …Don't you mean God?
Emil: You worship your own thing, I'll worship my own thing

Vera: What are you doing?
Freddy: Helping Ozzie find his chocolate I ate two hours ago.

Sybil: Two, four, six, eight, why do people think I'm straight.

Ozzie: How do you sleep knowing that there can be people out there who don't like you?
Sybil: Naked, in case they want to kiss my ass.

Vera: Hey everyone! Don't forget to drink water and stay hydrated!
Freddy: No.
Vera: Then become the dirt I walk on.

Customer: I didn’t ask for the attitude.
Sybil: I know. It’s on the house.
Later
Ozzie: Thank you for bringing this to my attention. In fact, I'll have her reprimanded here and now.
Sybil: Walks in
Ozzie: Sybil, I've told you to stop giving stuff away for free.

Freddy, who didn't sleep last night again: Ugh, I can’t believe I lost my glasses!
Sybil, staring at Freddy's glasses on his head: I’ll help you find them for 20 bucks

Freddy: Why are you eating a birthday cake? It’s not even your birthday
Ozzie: The cake doesn’t know that. It's trying its best.

Ozzie: I got you a mood ring so I know when you need a hug.
Vera, about to start sobbing: They change depending on heat signatures but thank you-

Vera: How long can you go without sleep before you start to hallucinate?
Freddy: Three days
Vera: How do you know?
Freddy, staring blankly at nothing: There's a deer person behind you.

Vera: This gives me good PTSD.
Ozzie: …You mean nostalgia?

Freddy: Has anyone ever told you they loved you?
Ozzie: Do my parents count?
Freddy: Yes.
Ozzie: Then no.

Vera: If you had to find your dog in a room with 49 identical dogs that are all equally excited to see you, how would you figure out which one is yours?
Ozzie: I would bring all 50 dogs home and live like a king.

Vera: You know that can kill you, right?
Freddy, downing six espresso shots in one go: Uh, yeah.
Sybil, smoking a cigarette: That’s the point. We’re trying to speed this up.
Ozzie, eating raw cookie dough: Nods

Freddy: There is no I in team
Freddy: But there is one in pizza
Ozzie: So you’re not going to share?
Freddy: No.

You gotta love it when you change the quotes slightly to fit your characters better and someone else uses them >:)

Sybil: You can't make everyone like you. You're not Ozzie.
Freddy: Not everyone likes Ozzie.
Sybil: Who doesn't?
Freddy: Well-
Sybil: Names. Now. Give me their names.

Sybil: As Lady Macbeth once famously said, "Don't be a pussy, it's just murder,"

Ozzie: Bad news, the printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say 'Freddie's Birthday'
Sybil: What does it say?
Ozzie: 'Freddy's Bi'
Sybil: I mean, that could still work

Ozzie: I like my women how I like my coffee
Ozzie: Sips tea

Sybil: Hey, you look stressed.
Ozzie: Yes, it's the stress.

Ozzie, writing a letter to his boss: I'd say it's been fun, but I'm not a liar-
Sybil: L-I-E-R, babe.
Ozzie:
Ozzie: We get it, Sybil, you're a good speller-

nicky, after three allnighters: i can't find my reading glasses, dammit
catori, staring at them on the top of his head: i'll help you find them for twenty bucks

---

someone: you seem like the type of person who shoplifts and pickpockets
catori, confused: why would i steal when everyone gives me what i want

((catori is the kind of person who asks a room at large for five bucks and gets handed a five by nearly everyone there. also her friends are just really nice to their own friends))