forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Lyz: I don't date guys.
Carmen: [exists]
Lyz: I marry them.

Chansung: How do the boys usually get out of these messes?
Jaeseok: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one.
Maeng, taking notes: Okay. And?

Basil: You just seem nicer than usual.
Seokju: I can punch you in the face if you want.

Kimin: Could you do a small favor for me?
Adrian: I could kill for you, but go on.

Kimmie: Do I look like I give a fuck about you?
Chae: You're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes?

Pearl: I have lost my daughter, Nari. Have you seen her?
Old woman: What does she look like?
Pearl, in tears: Beautiful.

nicky: how the hell do you guys usually get out of these messes??
catori: we don't. we kinda just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first

---

nicky: do i look like i give a fuck about you
cisco: you're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes???

Cyrus: You just seem nicer than usual.
Anthony: I can punch you in the face if you want.

Anthony: Could you do a small favor for me?
Cyrus: I would literally kill for you, but go on.

Emmett: Do I look like I give a fuck about you?
Jack: You're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes???

Crispin: Someone call a healer!
Crispin: *pulling out a knife* but not for me!

Dallas: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a fuck about anybody.
Ara: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.
Andor:
Andor: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

Kit: Must you always attack me with words?
Crispin: You want me to use rocks?

Dallas: Awww I remember playing doctor as a child!
Ara: Me too.
*flashback*
Child Ara, holding a stethoscope to a teddy bears chest: The cancer has spread. Get your affairs in order.

Jackie: When I said, “Bring me back something from the beach,” I meant, like, a seashell.
Holly, struggling to hold a seagull: Well you didn’t fucking say that!

Brian: Can you do me a favor?
Holly: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you
Brian: Cool. Can you do the dishes?
Holly: No

Brian: You just seem nicer than usual.
Holly: I can punch you in the face if you want.

Holly: how the hell do you guys usually get out of these messes??
Andor: we don't. we kinda just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first

Crispin, getting stabbed: I get to keep the knife, bitch

Dallas: Okay, so how many languages do you actually know?
Ara: Yes.

Gabriel: Someone call a healer!
Gabriel, pulling out a knife: But not for me!

Kristi: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a fuck about anybody.
Kate: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.
Bee
Bee: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

Martha: Awww I remember playing doctor as a child!
Victor: Me too.
Flashback
Child!Victor, holding a stethoscope to a teddy bears chest: The cancer has spread. Get your affairs in order.

Estella: Someone call a healer!
Estella, pulling out a knife: But not for me!

Penguin: Awww I remember playing doctor as a child!
Law: Me too.
Flashback
Child!Law, holding a stethoscope to a teddy bear's chest: The cancer has spread. Get your affairs in order.

~the gang dressed up for Halloween and trick-or-treating~
Selena: We are black cats, but we aren't bad luck and we definitely aren't evil
Harper: I'm a little bit evil
Damien: OK, he's evil. But most of us are cool. I promise
Phoenix: Meow

Holly: Where did I put my keys?
Jackie: They're over there on the makeup table.
Holly:…That's a desk.

Gerard: I need you.
Adelia: For?
Gerard: Ever.

Dallas: I drink to forget, but I always remember.
Ara: You’re drinking orange juice.

Milo: I've got no records, no passport, no id, no birth certificate. No birth name, no gender! the only thing i’m legally classified as is “a problem”

Kit: Listen, we need your help.
Crispin: Great, who are we killing? I don’t do kids. That’s a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid is a dick.

Trinity: Where did I put my keys?
Darlene: They're over there on the makeup table.
Trinity:…That's a desk.

Victor: I need you.
Henry: For?
Victor: Ever.

Iam: I drink to forget, but I always remember.
Vivian: You’re drinking orange juice.

Robin: I've got no records, no passport, no ID, no birth certificate. No birth name, no gender! The only thing I’m legally classified as is “a problem”!

Portia: Listen, we need your help.
Lyra: Great, who are we killing? I don’t do kids. That’s a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid is a dick.

courtesy of my Tired Brain

---

Phoenix: The need to use the bathroom ruins 100% of naps. Brought to you by Frustrated Napper Facts

Austin: How does Felix usually get out of these messes?
Jarrod: They don't. He just makes a bigger mess that cancels the first one.

Em: Could you do a small favor for me?
Austin: I would kill for you, but go on.

Felix: Do I look like I give a fuck about you?
Jarrod: You're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes?

Austin: I've lost my sister, Emily. Have you seen her?
Old woman: What does she look like?
Austin, in tears: Adorable.

Felix: gets stabbed Someone call a docter!
Felix: pulling out his fucking Desert Eagle but not for me!

Felix: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a fuck about anybody.
Jarrod, with Austin nodding along: Look, if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.
Em:
Em: How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

Felix: Must you always attack me with words?
Jarrod: You want me to use rocks?

Mel: Awww I remember playing doctor as a child!
Austin: Me too.
flashback
Child!Austin, holding a stethoscope to a Baby!Em's chest: The cancer has spread. Get your affairs in order.

Jarrod: When I said, “Bring me back something from the beach,” I meant, like, a seashell.
Felix, struggling to hold a seagull: Well you didn’t fucking say that!

Jarrod: Can you do me a favor?
Felix: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you
Jarrod: Cool. Can you do the dishes?
Felix: No

~the gang dressed up for Halloween and trick-or-treating~
Em: We are black cats, but we aren't bad luck and we definitely aren't evil
Felix: I'm a little bit evil
Jarrod: OK, he's evil. But most of us are cool. I promise
Austin: Meow

Mel: Where did I put my keys?
Claire: They're over there on the makeup table.
Mel:…That's a desk.

Felix: I need you.
Jarrod: For?
Felix: Ever.

Austin: I drink to forget, but I always remember.
Mel: You’re drinking orange juice.

Felix: I've got no records, no passport, no id, no birth certificate. No birth name, no gender! the only thing i’m legally classified as is “a problem”

Austin: Listen, we need your help.
Felix: Great, who are we killing? I don’t do kids. That’s a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid is a dick.

Felix: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Austin: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice to be held.

Trix: Could you do a small favor for me?
Lyra: I would kill for you, but go on.

The gang dressed up for Halloween and trick-or-treating, probably around middle school~
Kristi: We are black cats, but we aren't bad luck and we definitely aren't evil
Kate: I'm a little bit evil.
Kristi: OK, she's evil. But most of us are cool. I promise
Bee: Meow!

Ilona, once they get to Creston: I've got no records, no passport, no ID, no birth certificate. No birth name, no gender! The only thing I’m legally classified as is “an entertainer”

Geneva: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Oscar: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice to be held.

Holly: I don't think my boyfriend, the 12ft tall skeleton from Home Depot would be too pleased to hear this.

Andor: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Adelia: Wake up Gerard, its morning
Gerard: I'm dead, just leave flowers and go.

Brian: I had a dream about you last night.
Holly: Aw, really?
Brian: Yeah, you were my sleep paralysis demon.

Andor: Do you want to hear a joke?
Ara: No.
Andor: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes–

Crispin: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Ara: Stop that
Andor: Stop what?
Ara: *motions his hands from Uenoyama's head to his feet*
Andor: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Crispin: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Della: I don't think my boyfriend, the 12ft tall skeleton from Home Depot, would be too pleased to hear this.

Jackson: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Ophelia: I had a dream about you last night.
Oleander: Aw, really?
Ophelia: Yeah, you were my sleep paralysis demon.

Jackson: Do you want to hear a joke?
Geneva: No.
Jackson: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes–

Geneva: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Felix: I don't think my boyfriend, the 12ft tall skeleton from Home Depot would be too pleased to hear this.

Austin: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Em: Wake up Austin, its morning
Austin: I'm dead, just leave flowers and go.

Em: I had a dream about you last night.
Felix: Aw, really?
Em: Yeah, you were my sleep paralysis demon.

Felix: Do you want to hear a joke?
Jarrod: No.
Felix: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes–

Austin: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Jarrod: Stop that
Felix: Stop what?
Jarrod: motions his hands from Felix's head to his feet
Felix: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Jackson: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

(My dad says this to me, like "It's not lunch yet!" like bitch I want nachos!)

Allison: I don't think my boyfriend, the 12ft tall skeleton from Home Depot, would be too pleased to hear this.

Azrael: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Azrael: I had a dream about you last night.
Vozreal: Aw, really?
Azrael: Yeah, you were my sleep paralysis demon.

Allison: Do you want to hear a joke?
Vozreal: No.
Allison: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes–

Vozreal: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Azrael: Wears a slightly brighter shade of black
Vozreal: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.

Azrael: Bad news, the printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say 'Allison's Birthday'
Vozreal: What does it say?
Azrael: 'Allison's Bi'
Vozreal: I mean, that could still work

Azrael: Can you do me a favor?
Allison: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for you
Azrael: Cool. Can you do the dishes?
Allison: No

Vozreal: Do I look like I give a fuck about you?
Allison: You're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes?

Lord Arnol: Stop that
Percy: Stop what?
Lord Arnol: Motions his hands from Percy's head to his feet
Percy: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Lyra: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Vozreal: Stop that
Allison: Stop what?
Vozeal: Motions his hands from Allison's head to his feet
Allison: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Rachel: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Azami: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Sanji: Wake up Azami, its morning
Azami: I'm dead, just leave flowers and go.

Brook: Do you want to hear a joke?
Law: No.
Brook: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes–

Peregrine: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Peregrine: Stop that
Estella: Stop what?
Peregrine: motions her hands from Estella head to her feet
Estella: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Peppermint: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Beck: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast” time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken

Casey: Wake up, Randall, it's morning.
Beck: I'm dead, keep your stupid flowers and go.

Louis: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Oberon: Stop that.
Robin: Stop what?
Oberon: Motions his hands from Robin's head to their feet
Robin: You just vaguely gestured to all of me

Talia: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"

Quinn: You want to hear a pun?
Portia: No.
Quinn: Yes you do. Okay, here it goes-

Elijah: How long does it take to get to the convenience store?
Byungho: 5 minutes….Wait….
Byungho: [thinks about how many cats he could pet and feed on the way]
Byungho: 50 minutes.

Executioner: Last meal?
JJ: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can he do that??

Taeok: Do you see the answer to the problem now that I've explained it 12 times?
Jungwoo: Yes.
Taeok: Are you lying?
Jungwoo, voice cracking: Yes.

C.Ro: The path to inner peace begins with four words.
C.Ro: Not my fucking problem.

Random girl: H-hi, I didn't catch y-y-your name.
Sanghun: I didn't throw it.

Ezra: [finds Jason laying on the floor]
Ezra: Uh, you okay?
Jason: What if there's multiple you's in alternate timelines and your dreams are just seeing what they're doing?
Ezra:
Ezra: [lays on the floor next to Jason]

Executioner: Last meal?
Robin: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can they do that?

Jackson: You know, the path to inner peace begins with four words.
Geneva: "Not my fucking problem."

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not but-
Minwoo, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Haeil: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Sebastian: That took an unexpected turn-
Jack: So did their head.

Hyungwon: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Maeng:
Maeng: That's not fair.
Maeng: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Chansung: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Basil: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Chansung, sobbing: Every single day.

Matthew: Migraine?
Adrian, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Talia: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Portia: That took an unexpected turn.
Quinn: So did their head.

Marisol: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Harper: That's not fair.
Harper: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Kat: Migraine?
Frankie, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Kate: Our dorm is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Kristi: That's not fair.
Kristi: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Harper: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Marisol: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Harper: Every single day.

Azami: The ship is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Luffy: That's not fair.
Luffy: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Ace: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Marco: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Ace: Every single day.

Sanji: Zoro, get up!
Zoro: The next time I'll get out of bed is when my lifeless corpse is moved to its coffin.

Marisol, about Beckett: His mental health is going downhill.
Harper: I wouldn't say downhill, I'd more say downcliff.

Vozreal: Our house is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Azrael: That's not fair.
Azrael: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Damien: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Azrael: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Damien: Every single day.

Happy 1111th post!

Austin: How long does it take to get to the convenience store?
Em: 5 minutes….Wait….
Em: [thinks about how many cats she could pet and feed on the way]
Em: 50 minutes.

Executioner: Last meal?
Felix: I want to eat the electric chair.
Executioner:
Executioner, through a walkie talkie: Can he do that??

Jarrod: Do you see the answer to the problem now that I've explained it 12 times?
Felix: Yes.
Jarrod: Are you lying?
Felix, voice cracking: Yes.

Austin: The path to inner peace begins with four words.
Austin: Not my fucking problem.

Random guy: Hey, I didn't catch your name. winks
Mel: I didn't throw it.

Jarrod: [finds Jason laying on the floor]
Jarrod: Uh, you okay?
Felix: What if there's multiple you's in alternate timelines and your dreams are just seeing what they're doing?
Jarrod:
Felix: [lays on the floor next to Jason]

Doctor: I was going to ask you whether you were sexually active or not but-
Felix, wearing a hot dog costume: But what?

Austin: Do you ever just wanna place your hands on someone's face, look into their eyes and violently jerk their head until their neck snaps?
Felix: That took an unexpected turn-
Jarrod: So did their head.

Jarrod: Our house is burning and you can only save the cheesecake or me. Which do you choose?
Felix:
Felix: That's not fair.
Felix: The cheesecake doesn't have legs.

Em: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?
Austin: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?
Em, stone faced: Every single day.

Jarrod: Migraine?
Felix, wincing with his hands on his temples: Superglue, actually.

Jarrod: Austin, get up!
Austin: The next time I'll get out of bed is when my lifeless corpse is moved to its coffin.

Mel, about Austin: His mental health is going downhill.
Austin, appearing out of the shadows: I wouldn't say downhill, I'd more say downcliff.