forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Oscar: Here is my wall of inspiration idols.
Anne: Is that a picture of you?
Oscar: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

He does have a portrait of himself but it's out of spite since the painting is meant to be a mockery of him but he ordered it to be hung in his room anyways to piss off the artist.

Ara: What's was the best thing about your ex?
Holly: His money.
Jackie: His looks.
Andor: His d–
Ara: Most appropriate thing!
Andor: Fine, his personality, I guess.

Jackie: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Andor: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know i’m a whore.
Ara: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's gotta uphold lab safety rules.

Milo: Here is my wall of inspiration idols.
Keyla: Is that a picture of you?
Milo: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Holly: Oh, you like your credit card? Name every number on it!

Kit, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Kit: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.

Dallas: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Andor: all i drank was Red Bull.
Dallas: how many?
Andor: 70.

Holly: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
Jackie: i see you're breaking out the spring colors.

Andor: [opens his mouth to speak]
Ara, immediately: i don't know what you're going to say, but i think you're wrong.

Gerard: tonight i'm going to bed early!
Gerard: is that the sun?

Austin: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Austin: Is that the sun?
__
Jarrod: I swear to God if you keep stealing our kitchen utensils, I will move out.
Felix: That's a whisk I'm willing to take.
__
Dentist: Open wide.
Felix: :)
Dentist: I meant our mouth, not your arms.
Felix: ;(
__
Mel: I think you're still suffering the effects of the party last night.
Austin: All I drank was Red Bull.
Mel: How many?
Austin: 70.
__
Austin: [wears a slightly brighter shade of black]
Mel: I see you're breaking out the spring colors.
Austin: >:|
__
Felix: [opens his mouth to speak]
Jarrod, immediately: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.
__
Felix: Live fast, die young, and leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say!
Jarrod: You should say something else.
__
Jarrod: Walks into the kitchen
Austin: wearing mismatching gloves and goggles, welding a sandwich together
Jarrod: Okay, why don't we skip the "what" and go straight to "why?"
__
Felix: You ever notice how almost all laws use “he” or “she” in their clauses?
Felix: …Which means that I, a person who uses they/them, am above the law, and thus can not be arrested.
Officer:
Officer: …Just get in the car.
Felix: Dang, thought that would work.
__
Mel: Bellamy, are you sure that you’re managing to raise Fortune all on your own?
Austin: Yeah, the kid doesn’t cause any trouble
Em: Austin, I tried to make Eggos in the microwave and I broke everything.
Austin: See? Everything’s going fine.
__
Austin: Go tell her she’s cute. What’s the worst that can happen?
Mel: She can hear me?
__
Kidnapper: We have your son, we took him from your house.
Jarrod: Austin's right here?
Kidnapper: Then who's this kid running around and waving a gun at everybody?
Jarrod: Oh! You have my other son!
Jarrod: Good luck.
__
Felix: Hello Jarrod, Missy.
Jarrod:
Missy:
Felix: You may be wondering why I'm taped to the ceiling.

Geneva: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Jackson: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.
Victor: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's got to uphold lab safety rules.

Jackson: Opens his mouth to speak
Geneva, immediately: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.

Victor: Tonight I'm going to bed early!
Victor: Is that the sun?

Cedrix: there are no rules in this world, just expectations that have punishments for not meeting them.
Saraia: I swear to void- Stop. Murdering. Everyone. we've been over this

Hazel: i'm just a lil idiot with my fists unthreateningly raised at all times

Hannah: try not to get shot
Brad: that's good advice
Hannah: i know, i give the best advice-
Brad: [gets shot]
Hannah: … you idiot

Cedrix: [walks into the room]
Vorex: my hate is immeasurable and my day is ruined

Tyler: yes i have WAP
Tyler: Wasted Academic Potential

Vorex: i hate when people are like "so tell me about yourself"
Vorex: what do want? like, my trauma, or my favorite color? be specific

Cedrix: are you alright? you didn't sleep at all last night
Saraia: i got a solid 8 minutes
Cedrix: …
Saraia: not consecutively, but it's fine. you're not even that blurry

Nami: Oh, you like your credit card? Name every number on it!

Usopp: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Franky: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know i’m a whore.
Law: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's gotta uphold lab safety rules.

Pudding: My turn to bitch about assholes. Have you seen the guy I’m supposed to marry? Total douche
Peppermint: You’ve talked about him before. You like him.
Pudding, hissing: Lies.

Azami: Are you alright? You didn't sleep at all last night.
Zoro: I got a solid 8 minutes.
Azami: …
Zoro: Not consecutively, but it's fine. You're not even that blurry.

Felix: there are no rules in this world, just expectations that have punishments for not meeting them.
Jarrod: I swear to god- Stop. Murdering. Everyone. we've been over this
__
Felix: i'm just a lil idiot with my fists threateningly raised at all times
__
Felix: try not to get shot
Jarrod: that's good advice
Felix: i know, i give the best advice-
Jarrod: [gets shot]
Felix: … you idiot
__
Austin: yes i have WAP
Austin: Wasted Academic Potential
__
Austin: i hate when people are like "so tell me about yourself"
Austin: what do want? like, my trauma, or my favorite color? be specific
__
Jarrod: are you alright? you didn't sleep at all last night
Austin: i got a solid 8 minutes
Jarrod: …
Austin: not consecutively, but it's fine. you're not even that blurry

Felix: I only feel one emotion and it's anger.
Jarrod: Last night you drunk texted me a thousand heart emojis.
Felix: Out of anger.
_
Jarrod, smooshing Felix's face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Felix: A snack.
Jarrod: No.
_
Em: Hey, Felix, since you know so many languages, which one do you think in?
Jarrod, not looking up from his book: Bold of you to assume he thinks.
_
Jarrod: Good morning, Felix! I made you eggs, bacon, and cinnamon rolls and hot coffee.
Felix: Let me at 'em.
Felix: WOAH! [immediately gets back in bed] nice try, Jarrod. You almost got me up on a Monday that time.
_
Felix: You can't make everyone like you. You're not Jarrod.
Missy: Not everyone likes Jarrod.
Felix: Who doesn't?
Missy: Well-
Felix: Names. Now. Give me their names.
_
Villain: You're too late fools! You'll never stop me now.
Felix: That's where you're wrong, evil-doer! We will stop you using the powers of:
Mel: Friendship!
Em: Harmony!
Austin: Incredible violence.
Felix: And love!
_
Jarrod: Why can't you go to the store?
Felix: They said guns aren't allowed in there.
Jarrod: Why were you carrying guns around in plain sight?
Felix, kissing his biceps: Can't hide these bad boys. Sorry, babe.
Jarrod:
Jarrod: Just go buy the milk, I swear to god-
Felix: Fine, but take my gun first.
_
Felix, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Jarrod, filming him: You just need to push harder!
_
Em: What is Felix to you?
Jarrod: Felix… he's the reason I wake up in the morning.
Em: Awe, how sweet.
Jarrod: haha yeah
[earlier that morning]
Felix, kicking open Jarrod's bedroom door: JARROD! JARROD! JARROD WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AGAIN!
_
Felix: I'm going to laminate you.
Austin: Do it slut.
Mel: This is the strangest possible exchange I have ever seen.
Austin: Imprison me in plastic you coward.
_
Felix: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Jarrod: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Felix: Death isn't real and I'm god.
_
Felix: As Lady Macbeth once said, "Don't be a pussy, it's just murder,"
_
Em: Don't let anyone ruin your day.
Austin: Yeah, ruin it yourself!
_
Austin: Bad news, the printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say 'Felix's Birthday'
Jarrod: What does it say?
Austin: 'Felix's Bi'
Jarrod: I mean, that could still work
_
Doctor: What's your blood type?
Felix: Don't worry, I'm not picky, I can drink any kind.
Doctor: What?
Felix: What?
_
Felix: I'll do whoever it takes to get to the top!
Jarrod: Don't you mean 'whatever it takes?'
Felix: Yeah sure I'll do that too.
_
Mel: Is Felix ever normal?
Austin: Nope
Mel: Not even when he's asleep?
Austin: No, he's the craziest in bed.
Mel, choking: I'm sorry, WHAT?
Austin: Get your mind out of the gutter. He sleep fights, crazy right?
_
Jarrod: We're out of snacks.
Felix, aggressively pointing at himself: I'M LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT HERE
_
Mel: I like my men how I like my coffee
Mel: [sips bubble tea]
_
Austin: I have a plan.
Jarrod: Oh no, we're not listening to another one of your 'brilliant' plans.
Mel: It's fine, I have the hospital on speed dial. Austin, continue.
_
Austin: Hey, you look stressed
Jarrod: Yeah, it's the stress

Oleander: There are no rules in this world, just expectations that have punishments for not meeting them.
Calla: I swear to Mab- Stop. Murdering. Everyone. We've been over this

Oliver: Try not to get shot.
Jon: That's good advice.
Oliver: I know, I give the best advice-
Jon: Gets shot
Oliver: … you idiot

Oleander: Walks into the room
Oberon: My hate is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Beck: Yes I have WAP.
Beck: Wasted Academic Potential.

Beck: I hate when people are like "so tell me about yourself"
Beck: What do want? Like, my trauma, or my favorite color? Be specific.

Poplar: When did you arrive?
Oleander: Time is a construct, inherently tying us to death. Undo every shackle, unseat every oppressor, and time will be there still, inexorably laughing at us until the bitter end.
Poplar, Aspen and Alys:
Oleander:…I was here at 6:25

Luffy: What's wrong?
Azami, sick: Fever and I can't breathe.
Luffy: Just breathe.
Azami: …
Luffy: It's not that hard.
Azami: Oh okay.

Carmen, walking into an art museum: I'm here to donate myself.

Knight: Eventually, the universe will grow darker until black holes dominate the cosmos, and everyone, everything you've ever known will be sucked into the vast nothingness. No one will be left to observe this, no one left to care.
Louis: This is why nobody invites you to their birthday toasts.

Usagi: How long does your ideal hug last?
Ash: Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Usagi: That seems impractical.
Ash: You said ideal, not realistic.

Jaeseok, drunk: Why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back?
Dae, also drunk: I don't know, that's a lot of cups, babe. We might need two cups.

Cavendish, walking into an art museum: I'm here to donate myself.

Law: How long does your ideal hug last?
Jax: Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Law: That seems impractical.
Jax: You said ideal, not realistic.

Zoro, drunk: Why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back?
Sanji, also drunk: I don't know, that's a lot of water, babe. We might need two cups.

Zoro: There are no rules in this world, just expectations that have punishments for not meeting them.
Sanji: I swear to God- Stop. Murdering. Everyone. We've been over this.

Peregrine: I like my men how I like my coffee
Peregrine: [sips wine]

Bartolomeo, smooshing Cavendish's face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Cavendish: A snack.
Bartolomeo: No.

Luffy, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Azami, filming him: You just need to push harder!

Nami: What is Luffy to you?
Law: Mugiwara-ya… he's the reason I wake up in the morning.
Nami: Awe, how sweet.
Law: haha yeah
[earlier that morning]
Luffy, kicking open Law's bedroom door: TORAO! TORAO! TORAO WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

Franky: I'm going to laminate you.
Usopp: Do it slut.
Law: This is the strangest possible exchange I have ever seen.
Usopp: Imprison me in plastic you coward.

Luffy: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Law: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Luffy: Death isn't real and I'm god.

Nami: Is Zoro ever normal?
Sanji: Nope
Nami: Not even when he's asleep?
Sanji: No, he's the craziest in bed.
Nami, choking: I'm sorry, WHAT?
Sanji: Get your mind out of the gutter. He sleep fights, crazy right?

Bartolomeo: We're out of snacks.
Cavendish, aggressively pointing at himself: I'M LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT HERE

Oleander, walking into an art museum: I'm here to donate myself.

Barry, drunk: Why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back?
Claudio, also drunk: I don't know, that's a lot of water. We might need two cups.

Alys, smooshing Oleander's face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Oleander: A snack.
Ayls: No.

Vince: I'm going to laminate you.
Talia: Do it, slut.
Quinn: This is the strangest possible exchange I have ever seen.
Talia: Imprison me in plastic, you coward.

Talia: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Portia: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Talia: Death isn't real and I'm god.

Azrael, smooshing Allison's face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Allison: A snack.
Azrael: No.

Azami: I shouldn't have eaten all that, but oh well, what's eaten is eaten.
Nami: What's eaten is eaten.

Damien: Who wants to say prayer?
Harper: Prayer
Selena: Thank ye Jesus
Damien: Alright let's eat

Dallas: Ara sucks. He's like the opposite of a box of doughnuts.
Andor: A toilet full of broccoli!
Dallas: Yeah, kinda. Ara is a toilet full of broccoli.

Keyla, smooshing Milo's face between two pieces of bread, idiot sandwich style: What are you?
Milo: A snack.
Keyla: No.

Milo: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Garzlan: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Milo: Death isn't real and I'm god.

Jackie, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Holly, filming her: You just need to push harder!

Kit: How long does your ideal hug last?
Caleb: Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Kit: That seems impractical.
Caleb: You said ideal, not realistic.

Adelia: Hey, you look stressed
Gerard: Yeah, it's the stress

Tony: Did you know it takes three sheep to make a sweater?
Fen: Wow! I didn't even know they could knit!

Phillip: Should I stay out of it?
Ezra: Yes.
Phillip: Will I stay out of it?
Ezra: No.
Phillip: You know me so well.

Myung: No one has a crush on me.
Myung: I am too strong to be crushed.

Jason: I'm sorry. Is my swag distracting you?

Liz: Did you know it takes three sheep to make a sweater?
Barry: Wow! I didn't even know they could knit!

Percy: Should I stay out of it?
Oscar: Yes.
Percy: Will I stay out of it?
Oscar: No.
Percy: You know me so well.

Oleander: I'm sorry. Is my swag distracting you?

Claudio: Kat sucks. She's like the opposite of a box of doughnuts.
Barry: A toilet full of broccoli!
Claudio: Yeah, kinda. Kat is a toilet full of broccoli.

Marya, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Calla, filming her: You just need to push harder!

Christopher: How long does your ideal hug last?
Arthur: Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Christopher: That seems impractical.
Arthur: You said ideal, not realistic.

Jack: I'm going to laminate you.
Cyrus: Do it, slut.
Quill: This is the strangest possible exchange I have ever seen.
Cyrus: Imprison me in plastic, you coward.

Dally, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Cyrus, filming him: You just need to push harder!

Jack: No one has a crush on me.
Jack: I am too strong to be crushed.

Anthony: Hey, you look stressed
Quill: Yeah, it's the stress

Alnaschar: When life gives you lemons…
Amalgam: Say thank you.
Quicksilver: Squeeze them into people's eyes.
Aerriya: Don't read them until you're 18?

Bellamy, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Bellamy: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.

Amory: I can't have a cat because of my allergies, so I got the next best thing.
Edelweiss: Amory, we already have two dogs -
Amory, pulling out Bellamy in a cat onesie: Can we keep them? They're already trained and everything!
Bellamy: Meow, bitch.

Foxglove: Hello Chiaroscuro, I heard there's a new art exhibition in town.
Chiaroscuro: Oh? Where?
Foxglove: In my room. You can stare at me.
Foxglove: Admission's free winks

Foxglove, very sleep-deprived: Fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when it begins to feed.
Alexander: I will give the horse that kills me no such luxury.
Foxglove: It's okay, we can add the cranberries later.
Adeline: …what?

Rochambeau: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Persimmon: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.
Fortune: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's gotta uphold lab safety rules.

Horatio: What's was the best thing about your ex?
Titania: His money.
Persimmon: His looks.
Fortune: His d–
Horatio: Most appropriate thing!
Fortune: Fine, his personality, I guess.

Persimmon: What is Clay to you?
Johann: He's the reason I wake up in the morning.
Persimmon: Awe, how sweet.
Johann: haha yeah
[earlier that morning]
Fortune, kicking open Johann's bedroom door: CORTLANDT WAKE UP! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

Jackson, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Jackson: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.

Oleander: Hello, Lavinia, I heard there's a new art exhibition in town.
Lavinia: Oh? Where?
Oleander: In my room. You can stare at me.
Oleander: Admission's free ;)

Darlene: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Carter: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.
Christopher: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's got to uphold lab safety rules.

Louis: I tried to starting a gang once, but it turned into a babysitting gig.

Dae: What are we?
Jaeseok: People.
Dae: No, like, what are we?
Jaeseok:
Jaeseok: We're gay.

Knight, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice.
Usagi: Great. That means you won't be able to yell at us anymore.
[Later that day]
Usagi: As it turns out, he is scarier when he's quiet.

Ash: Hey, Knight, can I stay at your place tonight?
Knight: Let me ask my mom.
Ash: You live alone-
Knight: She said no.

Carmen: Why do you spend so much time working out?
Louis: It's comforting knowing that I can easily throw anyone across the room.

Hyungwon: I want to see my little boy~
Jaesung, holding a struggling Maeng in his arms: Here he comes~
Hyungwon: I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY!!

Noir: You need to tell Damian that you love him.
Maestro: Blocked and reported.
Noir: This is a verbal conversation.

Damian: I'm a snack, but everyone seems to be on a diet.

Rhoda: I tried to starting a gang once, but it turned into a babysitting gig.

Portia, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice.
Vince: Great, that means you won't be able to yell at us anymore.
Later that day
Talia: As it turns out, Portia is scarier when she's quiet.

Alice: Why do you spend so much time working out?
Geneva: It's comforting knowing that I can easily throw anyone across the room.

Aspen: You need to tell Titania that you love her.
Oberon: Blocked and reported.
Aspen: This is a verbal conversation.

Vozreal, walking into an art museum: I'm here to donate myself.

Vozreal: How long does your ideal hug last?
Allison: Thirty to forty-five minutes.
Vozreal: That seems impractical.
Allison: You said ideal, not realistic.

Allison, drunk: Why don't we just put all of the ocean water into a cup, clean out the bottom, and then pour it back?
Vozreal, also drunk: I don't know, that's a lot of water, babe. We might need two cups.

Vozreal: There are no rules in this world, just expectations that have punishments for not meeting them.
Allison: I swear to God- Stop. Murdering. Everyone. We've been over this.

Azrael: I like my men how I like my coffee
Azrael: [sips beer]

Allison, pushing on a pull door: It's not opening!
Vozreal, filming her: You just need to push harder!

Allison: What is Hellyn to you?
Azrael: Hellyn… she's the reason I wake up in the morning.
Allison: Awe, how sweet.
Azrael: haha yeah
[earlier that morning]
Hellyn, kicking open Azrael's bedroom door: AZRAEL! AZRAEL! AZRAEL WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AGAIN!

Vozreal: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Allison: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Vozreal: Death isn't real and I'm god.

Azrael: Is Vozreal ever normal?
Allison: Nope
Azrael: Not even when he's asleep?
Allison: No, he's the craziest in bed.
Azrael, choking: I'm sorry, WHAT?
Allison: Get your mind out of the gutter. He sleep fights, crazy right?

Azrael: We're out of snacks.
Allison, aggressively pointing at herself: I'M LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT HERE\

Vozreal: Not wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I'm a whore.
Allison: Only wearing a labcoat so the other scientists know I’m a whore.
Azrael: Kicking both of you out of the lab because someone's got to uphold lab safety rules.

Allison, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Shut up.
Allison: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.

Beatrice, hoarsely: I think I'm losing my voice.
Percy: Great. That means you won't be able to yell at us anymore.
Later that day
Percy: As it turns out, Bea is scarier when she's quiet.

Georgie: Why do you spend so much time working out?
Gabriel: It's comforting knowing that I can easily throw anyone across the room.

Georgie: You need to tell Arthur that you love him.
Christopher: Blocked and reported.
Georgie: This is a verbal conversation.

Carter: I'm a snack, but everyone seems to be on a diet.