forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I honestly kinda hate myself right now because people are going through actual problems and horrible tragedies yet I have the audacity to be this ungrateful and overdramatic

So yeah it's not very fun but it is what it is

So….

I honestly kinda hate myself right now because people are going through actual problems and horrible tragedies yet I have the audacity to be this ungrateful and overdramatic

So yeah it's not very fun but it is what it is

There is a picture a friend of mine showed me a while back to demonstrate relative pain. Just search for "Wolf Arrows" It'll pop up. At the time it was her way of displaying her argument against her dad who was arguing that she should be fine and she needed to grow up and move on. I saw it and thought, that is why we can't compare ourselves to others.
What you can handle is different then someone else. You know those older people who say "You don't have it so bad I've been through worse this isn't hurting me so it shouldn't hurt you." Their wrong. because they have already been through some of the hardest times of their lives and they have survived it, but for you this is the hardest time and you can't look back on something else to say that if you got through that you can get through this. And sometimes you run into your new hardest moment. I think a lot of us are going to look back at 2020 and say "If I survived that, I can survive this" It will be our new hardest moment.
You're not committing a moral crime by having a bad day when someone else is out there with a day that's objectively worse. You are allowed to feel hurt, and broken and scarred. That's ok, you are allowed to feel that way.

I'm stressed, my stomach hurts, I can't stop smelling smoke and things are blurry and shifting (anxiety hallucinations). I wanna cry. My friend is sad and I'm bad at cheering people up. Idk what to do. I feel like I'm gunna throw up. So much work to do. I can't.

my grandma, yesterday: yeah ur mom said we can watch that anime thing u got from the library
me: yAy

my mom, just a little while ago: oh there's a political thing going on
me, just now: ya'll done yet?
my mom: no, go stay with the cat while the plumber's here

like,,, why did they agree to watch an anime with me if they're gonna absorb themselves with politics whenever i ask if i can watch it??? it may seem like a dumb thing to get upset over but they genuinely tricked me into thinking they were gonna let me watch some aNime

and since it's on a dvd i need the blu-ray player upstairs to watch it but nOoOo they're interested in politics now. curse you, political events!!

So….

Spoiler - click to show.

I've been reading The Boys graphic novel series. I like the premise of the series and the story, however I don't like that derogatory terms are used in regards to the LGBTQ+ community and that a certain R-word are used frequently in the first 20 or so issues just for the sake of "edgeines". Not only that, but the N-word is said as well. I can understand that the creators wanted the series to be edgy and why they wanted it to be that way, but using these terms just for edgeines in a series that is already edgy without their use is disgusting and unnecessary!

I'm reading IT right now and the n word is used too. I know it's somewhat historically accurate but it doesn't sit right with me.

A few LGBT slurs too.

Welp i got so stressed i acquired a massive migraine. Lasted for hours so I just crashed at 7. I'm actually fairly well rested tho.

Well, I'm sorry that your head hurt, but I'm glad you got rested <3

y'all def don't remember me since i was new (and irrelevant) but i have returned
so heyyy it's lemon/ramona

uhhhh i am Sick And Tired of life rn and i wanna d i e

Hi.

I'm reading this book and I'm sitting here having to force myself to not cry because the main character reminds me of myself and he's bein a complete asshole who's insucure about being in a long distance relationship and broke up with his boyfriend becuase of it and it reminds me of the shit I pulled and how I'm lonely and angry and insecure

never mind I'm fine

After conducting research, I can confirm that I am a ✨human disaster✨

After conducting research, I can confirm that I am a ✨human disaster✨

same though lmao

Update: I'm feeling good and have been for 5 entire minutes, this means that something bad will happen within an hour

I'm honestly vibing, you know, realizing that my crush is hella straight, staring at him in Chamber Choir right now, running all of my fantasies in my head, clown.

_{fucking idiot, stop falling for straight guys.}

My bestest friend in all the world called me his bestie in a comment on a fanfic I wrote and I am filled with joy

YOOOOOOOOOO ASH, WHAT'S THE LINK?

Also, The Unsent Project hits different.

dead yet by gabriel black is hitting h a r d
holy shit

YOOOOOOOOOO ASH, WHAT'S THE LINK?

sahifydjk here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840686

god i can't believe i let a therapist bring up my past sexual encounters today

i don't normally tell people abt my -ahem- past,,, bUt my school therapist and i started talking about how i was a victim of sexual harassment for quite some time when i was younger (thank you uncle :v) and i realized just then that i've been through hell and back as a kid without even realizing it. it was mainly my uncle being a huge pervert not just to me but my mom (yes, he was being a perv towards his sibling) and I'm starting to think that that's one of the many reasons why I'm suffering from an array of mental illness (general anxiety, major depressive disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder, just to name a few) and why i feel so awkward around men and boys cwhdsbs my therapist also said that this stuff that occurred in the past could be why I'm steering towards relationships with girls instead of boys, and i just sat there like,,, "god ur right idk how but ur halfway correct"

but on a slightly more positive note: i think that this crap i was put through as a kid really made me who i am today, which can be a good or bad thing depending on how u look at it ig. plus it felt good to finally tell someone that my uncle might as well have been a pedophile

TW // Nausea/vomit, mentions of self harm, being actually triggered

TW // Nausea/vomit, mentions of self harm, being actually triggered

Spoiler - click to show.

So, I was watching some random tiktok and they made a joke about self harm and made a repeated 'wrist slice' movement if that makes sense. I immediately felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and was about to throw up all my organs. I'm still clean from sh right now, but it's been a rough week or so (lots of Sharpie skin doodles) and honestly… Now I feel sick. I hate throwing up, so that's n o t I d e a l. Ugh. Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh honey, I am so sorry. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here.

Am I really a bad person? Please be honest.

I really don't know you, nor have I seen you much, but I don't think you are from what I've seen. And besides, I say a bad person really wouldn't care if others think they're a bad person or not.

So the fact that you care enough to ask seems like a step in a good direction.

i am ✨not having it✨ today
i hate slope intercept with every fiber of my being
not to mention i'm slowly falling into the land of craving death
this shit sucks

(and now back to your regularly scheduled "fake happy" lemon)