forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)
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@RedTheLoveless

Yall ever find yourselves caught between two very different mindsets, and you don't know what to do? Cuz I'm kinda caught in the middle here and I don't know which to go with.

One part of me wants to press forward and put my all into everything I do–to use every weapon in my arsenal to succeed. The other part of me wants to hold back and wait things out, see how they go before I commit myself. Either I need to push myself beyond my limits, or I need to shut myself down to avoid a crushing defeat.

What's the point if I don't try my best?
What's the point if I put everything I have into it, and it's not enough?
Stop being a defeatist.
Stop being impractical.
I have to at least try.
Trying is impossible for a prideful perfectionist like me–it's all or nothing and I know it.

Urgh, now is when I really wish I had a punching bag.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Yall ever find yourselves caught between two very different mindsets, and you don't know what to do? Cuz I'm kinda caught in the middle here and I don't know which to go with.

One part of me wants to press forward and put my all into everything I do–to use every weapon in my arsenal to succeed. The other part of me wants to hold back and wait things out, see how they go before I commit myself. Either I need to push myself beyond my limits, or I need to shut myself down to avoid a crushing defeat.

What's the point if I don't try my best?
What's the point if I put everything I have into it, and it's not enough?
Stop being a defeatist.
Stop being impractical.
I have to at least try.
Trying is impossible for a prideful perfectionist like me–it's all or nothing and I know it.

Urgh, now is when I really wish I had a punching bag.

Oh big mood

Deleted user

So I'm bored.. wish I could eat the whole two jars of Nutella to myself. and watch Avatar : The Last Airbender

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town group

I'M SO DONE WITH MY DANCE TEACHER. I hate her class and it literally made me cry today. She is also very harsh towards us and has clear favorites. And there's no chance she'll ever quit or get fired because she owns the whole studio. I would quit without a second thought except I love the tap class there (which has a different teacher).
also having a fun time figuring out if i'm demiromantic or just picky

Deleted user

I mean, I'm already dead and useless anyways SOOO
( Got to love mood changes…one minute I'm happy as a sailor on the vast ocean, Next I'm wanting to bury myself 16 feet under.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

So I almost had a heart attack
I'm watching a stream and I left to get my switch so I could play while I watched, and my demon of a sister snuck under the desk while I was gone and was under there for a solid 5 minutes and scared the shit out of me

@Pickles group

Are you ever so done with life that you lay on the floor for a few hours staring into oblivion.

Yes but it's usually less than an hour because even staring off into space I can't focus on something for very long

@berlioz

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

@Pickles group

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

:OO literally all of this. You said it better than I can

@The-Magician group

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

You’re not alone with this, I’m going through the exact same thing. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, so there is every possibility you could be in that circle, but I would definitely advise you talking to a doctor or therapist about it..

@Althalosian-is-the-father book

I'M SO DONE WITH MY DANCE TEACHER. I hate her class and it literally made me cry today. She is also very harsh towards us and has clear favorites. And there's no chance she'll ever quit or get fired because she owns the whole studio. I would quit without a second thought except I love the tap class there (which has a different teacher).
also having a fun time figuring out if i'm demiromantic or just picky

Which state do you live in?

@berlioz

The downs are so much worse after a big high. Like it's just teasing. I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling horrible, tired, and suicidal, versus being restless and hyper and happy, forgetting I'd ever been depressed. It's times like these I worry that I'm bipolar.

You’re not alone with this, I’m going through the exact same thing. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, so there is every possibility you could be in that circle, but I would definitely advise you talking to a doctor or therapist about it..

I hope to talk to a doctor about it, and I should have a check up this year. Who knows with COVID, though, it might be virtual, and then my parents would be in the same room watching me or at least listening. They let me go alone for in person appointments, though.

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town group

I'M SO DONE WITH MY DANCE TEACHER. I hate her class and it literally made me cry today. She is also quite harsh towards us at times and has clear favorites. And there's no chance she'll ever quit or get fired because she owns the whole studio. I would quit without a second thought except I love the tap class there (which has a different teacher).
also having a fun time figuring out if i'm demiromantic or just picky

Which state do you live in?

NC, why??

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town group

Also, I feel you @Owen about the therapist thing. I've been debating on whether to go to one since last year, and when I finally decided I needed it, corona happened. I hope you find a way to express your feelings to your doctor and get help if you feel that you need it.

@Musical_Queen

My mom just yelled at me about my room being a "mess" and threatened to leave me at home for 2 weeks from a trip that I have been looking forward to ever since they brought it up. The mess? It was three (3) pages ripped out of a journal that the previous owner had written some personal information on. That's it