forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :)

Started April 21, 2018 by @Tylerrr-M-P

tune

Y'all help me out–

So remember way back when, before I dropped Notebook entirely for a while(sorry about that, school yoinked my computer back), I posted about my crush and that I was going to ask them out? And they said that they were dating someone else? Well, they broke up with him and after a while we went into town and I tried again. They said that they felt the same way and that they wanted to make sure things were okay with their ex(that there were no harsh feelings, since it was kind of soon after the breakup) and they'd call me to let me know, but they never did? For two months? We go to school together and on the first day I asked about it, and they said their phone just stopped working. I still really like them and want to pursue a relationship, but I don't know if that would be a good idea?

Tw: uncensored use of f/mb/y, manyother slurs

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Just a bit of background, since femboy is actually one of my favorite words. It was originally intended to insult effeminate gay men, along with words like twink and Nancy. Transphobes have shifted the term femboy from homophobic to transphobic. Instead of it recognizing a man's femininity, in some transphobic circles it's used to expose the "core femininity" of transboys. As if to say "I'll play along, but he's still a girl." Less frequently in the transphobic circles, it can be used to cruedly describe transwomen, since transphobes veiw transwomen as merely drag queens, gay men, or traps. However, nowadays the more common transphobic terms used against transwomen are ladyboy and sheman. Similarly, they view transmen as dykes (lesbians).
As a non binary person, I actually kind of view myself as a femboy/twink- I like my inherit masculinity to be recognized while also presenting femininly. Even though I'm not a man, I strongly associate with feminine men, a sort of middle ground of gender expression. Both terms, twink and femboy, have been pretty much reclaimed along with queer, and I've also noticed tranny being used non offensively in trans circles (though do continue censoring upon request). Many gay men proudly claim the titles femboy or twink, and some enbies like myself feel the labels suit them as well.

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there's a lot of both AFAB and AMAB people in the enby community who use the term femboy, same with gay dudes who present feminine or in drag just for fun. there should be a lot of respect and sensitivity towards slurs and bs towards trans people, as transphobia is a serious issue even within the queer community, but i've really never seen femboy used as an insult before

FOLKS 👏
I think I did it. I've achieved androgyny.
I'm currently wearing a crop top and high waisted jeans, yet I don't look like a girl. Between my flat chest, new haircut, and kinda mainly jawline, my gender is fairly undiscernable. I love this.
My voice is the only thing that gives me away.
Does anyone have for making the voice more androgynous? Starting from a pretty high pitched place.

Honestly, just try and go the lowest you can go without fucking up your voice entirely. To the point where yeah, it sounds like you, but it’s deeper. Do that consistently and keep going deeper until you’re at a point where you’re happy. Get that fucking range seriously it’s amazing. Also, if you can convince your parents into pursuing a music education, voice lessons really do help. Or, join a choir! I did that. It helped.

FOLKS 👏
I think I did it. I've achieved androgyny.
I'm currently wearing a crop top and high waisted jeans, yet I don't look like a girl. Between my flat chest, new haircut, and kinda mainly jawline, my gender is fairly undiscernable. I love this.
My voice is the only thing that gives me away.
Does anyone have for making the voice more androgynous? Starting from a pretty high pitched place.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU YAY!!!
Okay, so I might not be the best person for this, but I am in choir and have been in theater, so I kinda have experience with lowering the voice. There's this thing called a soft palate. It's basically that muscle you feel moving when you yawn, the one in the back of your throat. If you can figure out how to raise that and speak, it lets you speak lower without hurting yourself. I think it's amazing, but don't trust me because I don't know anything. Maybe just try it out.

Also, like Starlight said, just work on range. That helps a lot too!!

Here's a video to help you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTlRU2GXX2o

Thank ylads 😊

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And I get that! I just have some personal trauma with the term and you guys can use it all you like! I understand that sometimes labels can be weird, like how some people see queer as a slur while others, like me, actively use it to describe themselves and their community because they feel it works as a good, inclusive descriptor. TL;DR words mean different things to different people and I should shut up now.

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And I get that! I just have some personal trauma with the term and you guys can use it all you like! I understand that sometimes labels can be weird, like how some people see queer as a slur while others, like me, actively use it to describe themselves and their community because they feel it works as a good, inclusive descriptor. TL;DR words mean different things to different people and I should shut up now.

Spoiler - click to show.

i know i’m not part of this conversation in any way, shape, or form, but please don’t feel sorry for voicing your concerns, you totally don’t have to shut up about it. you’re right that words mean different things to different people, but if that word is particularly triggering to you, we should be considerate of that

yes 100%!!

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I don't actually know what f/mb/y means so could anyone tell me, just so I don't accidentally use them? Sorry if this question seems insensitive

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I don't actually know what f/mb/y means so could anyone tell me, just so I don't accidentally use them? Sorry if this question seems insensitive

Spoiler - click to show.

it means femboy

OOOOHHHHHH I see

how is everyone doing today?

Think I just heard two queer kids become friends legit right outside the door and I’m low key jealous lmao

Y'ALL YESTERDAY MY DORM HAD A FIRE DRILL WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS LITERALLY MY WORST NIGHTMARE COME TO LIFE.

OH MY GOD B R O
The real question is…what’d you do?

Oh god, that happened to my roommate last year.
And once, while I was in the shower at my dorm, it started storming violently and tornado sirens started going off.
It's an experience being caught in the shower at bad times.

how is everyone doing today?

I'm ok. I feel a little sick tho. Debating whether or not to come out to my sister. She's politically very liberal and pro lgbtq rights. We've talked about our religion and lgbtq identities. I can tell she wants to support us fully, but isn't there yet spiritually. Idk how she'd take it. Definitely not bad, I just don't know if it'd be beneficial.
How are you?

how is everyone doing today?

Gay.
There's this girl thats in a couple of my classes who's really cool and kind of a jock and I'm casually crushing
There's also this girl in my women and gender studies class and holy shit she is gorgeous. She's so pretty. She's just- ahjfaj she's beautiful
So yeah I'm gay today

Feeling kind of gay myself.
There's this femboi (not sure where they fall on the gender spectrum yet) that works in the Pho place under my apartment and I straight up stutter whenever I see them.

They gave me free boba today

I think I've been proposed to?

I accepted

I am also feeling gay but not for anyone specifically, it’s just girls in general are super cute especially Yuqi from G-Idle

I'd marry anyone who gave me free bobba.

If someone gave me free boba and propsed I would not hesitate

If someone gave me anything for free we’re married for life

Alas, I've never had boba

D:

someone platonically get Owen some boba

There's a fancy pop mixing place that's popular in my town, and they have like bubbles of flavor that burst in your mouth in with the pop if you want, but never tea and none of them are tapioca (is that what the boba bubbles are? Idk), just like strawberry or lime syrup.

D:

someone platonically get Owen some boba

Time for a dollar store-sushi-Wegmans-boba date

D:

someone platonically get Owen some boba

Time for a dollar store-sushi-Wegmans-boba date

:D

I hung out with my girlfriend a couple days ago and lemme tell you,,,,
it was kinda
just a little bit
gay

holy shit