_{that's actually a really good idea thank you}

that really sucks about the thing from your dad tho :(
if anyone even b r e a t h e d near stuff from my dad at this point i'd prolly commit murder-

_{that's actually a really good idea thank you}

that really sucks about the thing from your dad tho :(
if anyone even b r e a t h e d near stuff from my dad at this point i'd prolly commit murder-

yeah, it's no problem

ahahaha same here, it's alright tho, never knew the guy, but at least i ended up getting it fixed, though now it looks jacked up not gonna lie

When I tell you my sense of time is messed up right now, I mean it is messed up

This is what I get for staying up for 26 hours straight

Work was shit and I'd quite like to fall asleep and never wake up again
But saying the problem out loud makes it seem like less bad
But anxiety makes it real bad
And I had to fucking go in the back to cry for 20+ minutes
Because we can't cry in front of the customers

Lil vent coming up, and it’s probably stupid so feel free to ignore it if you so wish.
HOWEVER!
So I went to speak to the college nurse, albeit against my will but I felt obliged to agree since she is there to help me. We spoke about my sleep, because an email had been put on the system that I had fallen asleep in Photography and was finding it hard to concentrate. Hell, I was swaying while walking.
So I now have to make a choice by tomorrow: Talk to my mum about possibly going on medication, or go behind her back and make an appointment with the doctor to get medication. I would feel better if I made the appointment behind her back, because then I will definitely get medication. However I feel like it is the wrong thing to do, I also feel that talking to my mum about it will be a bad idea because I know what she is like. I’ve mentioned medication to her before and she says she doesn’t want me on it because she wants me to “get out of it naturally”.
Either option I take I will feel like it is the wrong one, and I’m beginning to regret ever bringing it up to the nurse.
Another thing I mentioned to the nurse is that I don’t always feel safe at home. Whenever I’ve done something wrong or I speak my mind and it goes against my parents, I will get smacked or hit. Now, it’s not full on abusive hitting because no marks are left, however it does raise some concerns. The thing that concerned the nurse the most is that my mum will also do this to my younger siblings. The youngest is 4! And also that I have had my 9 year old sister crying her heart out, holding onto me for dear life, screaming whenever her parents come near her. So now the nurse has spoken to her boss and they’re going to see what they can do about it, and see if a full investigation needs doing, you know, since it is illegal to hit your child.
Again, they don’t class it as abuse, they call it discipline. Sorry, but if I can hear a smack from another room with the door is closed, something is wrong. A conversation my mum had with my grandma, in reference to me, was that if it was legal to hit your children then she would, and the only reason she doesn’t is because she knows I will tell someone.
I’m scared that if it gets back to my parents that I have told the nurse this, they will start shouting at me and possibly hurt me, thinking I’ve told someone that they’re being abusive.
I’m really beginning to regret ever seeing the nurse, and I’ve put myself in such an unfortunate situation, and I hate myself because of it.

(Vent over)

I don't think it's stupid at all. You might want to wait on a doctor's appointment until the investigation because that might change things, or if you really want advice on what to do, ask the nurse. You shouldn't hate yourself for seeing the nurse, either. It's important that you see someone, if not a doctor

I love my profile picture so much-

Tell me that's not Garfield as SCP-173 omg

My skin is dry and gross and disgusting

I would smack the fuck out of your mom Lee

Trust me I want to, but she will smack me back ten times harder

Not if you smack her with a chair.

Or if you pull a nice smack and run

it does make sense i’m sorry for snapping but i’ve done everything i can and it’s gotten me nowhere…

_{it seems to me like you're the one who snapped the least but that's none of my business}

that’s what i said, i’m sorry for snapping on everyone i really really am

Not your fault.

So I read To All The Boys I've Loved Before a while ago and I just started P.S. I Still Love You and oh boy

I am very angry

I also haven't started my homework

I never start my homework.

How is everyone today, I’m doing well. I feel a bit sick to be honest, I might just be nervous because I’m asking my crush on a date.

Awwww, I hope your crush says yes. I'm doing average today, nothing out of the usual happening.

That’s good, and I mean we could just hang out if he says no. Maybe my mom will let me hang out with him at the cinema or something when we get money. If he isn’t comfortable with it being just us I’m dragging Emi along she has no choice.

Not great because this morning I had to play the game of "Is There Something Genuinely Wrong With Me Or Am I Having Another Existential Crisis?"

It's not a fun game because sometimes I don't figure it out, and then anxiety kicks in.

Not great because this morning I had to play the game of "Is There Something Genuinely Wrong With Me Or Am I Having Another Existential Crisis?"

It's not a fun game because sometimes I don't figure it out, and then anxiety kicks in.

Oh my, I’m sorry…. I know the feeling of anxiety going into over drive.

I'm at a meeting for the volunteers at the kids area at my church and I don't want to be here and all I've learned is that when a little kid doesn't want to go somewhere, it's anxiety, but when I don't want to go somewhere, I'm being bratty, selfish, and childish
Thanks Mom. Love you too T_T
I want to leave

I'm at a meeting for the volunteers at the kids area at my church and I don't want to be here and all I've learned is that when a little kid doesn't want to go somewhere, it's anxiety, but when I don't want to go somewhere, I'm being bratty, selfish, and childish
Thanks Mom. Love you too T_T
I want to leave

Oh, I’ve been working with kids, like ghetto kids, because I’m part of Girl Scouts and we do ours in my old city, where I used to live actually. For some reason, I’m much more confident and collected around children then people older or around my age.

Not great because this morning I had to play the game of "Is There Something Genuinely Wrong With Me Or Am I Having Another Existential Crisis?"

It's not a fun game because sometimes I don't figure it out, and then anxiety kicks in.

Oh my, I’m sorry…. I know the feeling of anxiety going into over drive.

Thank you for understanding, buddy.

Random question but I'm wondering if anyone actually knows who I am? I've been around for a while but I'm not very active and whenever I post something on one of the chats no one acknowledges what I say

I thought that maybe it's because people are like who the hell is this random person. That or I said something wrong. I don't know. Maybe what I say isn't interesting enough?

WHAT

gurl nu-uh I'm not going with you on your date

that's a whole lot of you and you and you again

Random question but I'm wondering if anyone actually knows who I am? I've been around for a while but I'm not very active and whenever I post something on one of the chats no one acknowledges what I say

I thought that maybe it's because people are like who the hell is this random person. That or I said something wrong. I don't know. Maybe what I say isn't interesting enough?

I know who you are! I'm always just too late to acknowledge you, but tbh whenever I think of the site I think of you as one of the core people. You're very helpful.

Not great because this morning I had to play the game of "Is There Something Genuinely Wrong With Me Or Am I Having Another Existential Crisis?"

It's not a fun game because sometimes I don't figure it out, and then anxiety kicks in.

Oh my, I’m sorry…. I know the feeling of anxiety going into over drive.

Thank you for understanding, buddy.

I got you friend!

Ah I see it was all in my head then. That's reassuring

Ah I see it was all in my head then. That's reassuring

See but that's one problem that I have with people trying to be encouraging, and I have been guilty of this as well. But, yeah it's in my head, and no it doesn't just go away. That's why it's called a mental illness.