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“I was emo but I’m trying to edge out of it.”
“Haha, edge.”
“NO.”
“I was emo but I’m trying to edge out of it.”
“Haha, edge.”
“NO.”
Me: I AM NOT AFFECTED BY YOUR "TOP ENERGY" WHEN I HAVE BIGGER TOP ENERGY
Her: no your a bottom
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
“I love this tape more than I love myself.”
“My arms are too big to hug short people.”
“You’re Jesus? Me too.”
“There’s this tiny demon Satan baby and it scares the crap out of me.”
after tripping over a chair: “Jesus has to take the fall sometimes.”
“Don’t spoil the Bible, I haven’t gotten that far yet.”
slaps table “you’ve been cleansed.”
“UNCLEAN. WE DO NOT TALK TO YOU.”
“What? Oh i see, you’re like a wannabe. Are you a cosplayer or something?”
“Sorry, I don’t answer to Alex anymore.”
-All of these from the same person within 20 minutes
I showed my friend and she said the don't spoil the Bible one was her favorite
"Ah, but is it really waste heat if I use it to cook a hot pocket?"
"we have to write a letter to ourselves and i'm doing it dear evan hansen style"
"we have to write a letter to ourselves and i'm doing it dear evan hansen style"
You mean you rub your nipples and start moaning with delight?
snort
Jazzy: You sneeze like a kitten.
Me sounded like an autistic dolphin: I Do nOT REEEEEE
"Ah, but is it really waste heat if I use it to cook a hot pocket?"
Is this Mr. Reyes?
My friend yesterday kept saying “JOE MAMA”
And during lunch “JONE MAMA”
“I NEED TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS!! GIVE ME YOUR KNEECAPS!!” Friend 1 continues to shout about how she wants to eat friend 2’s kneecaps
And later she tries to buy them from friend 3 off the black market
“I NEED TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS!! GIVE ME YOUR KNEECAPS!!” Friend 1 continues to shout about how she wants to eat friend 2’s kneecaps
And later she tries to buy them from friend 3 off the black market
ALSO my English/reading teacher then taught friend 1 how to make a kneecap sandwich
And you’re probably disturbed now
Do I even want to know how your teacher knows how to make a kneecap sandwich lmao
Idk. I’m pretty sure she was joking
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
"I'm going to eat your elbow."
me: it's too bright outside and I'm tired please close the blinds
my bio teacher: what are you emo or something?
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Same energy as "bread is just raw toast" and "cheese is just a loaf of milk" from my little brother
(Texting) “Yum I love knees”
“Cali no”
“Cali HUNGERY”
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Same energy as "bread is just raw toast" and "cheese is just a loaf of milk" from my little brother
Please stop, my brain is three seconds from popping off and flying around the room like a rocket. I can't handle these revelations!
(Texting) “Yum I love knees”
“Cali no”
“Cali HUNGERY”
OOF
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Same energy as "bread is just raw toast" and "cheese is just a loaf of milk" from my little brother
Please stop, my brain is three seconds from popping off and flying around the room like a rocket. I can't handle these revelations!
Honestly my little brother is the weirdest. Last night he said "if you covered a crane in enough steak and put a wrecking ball on it you could be bulletproof and use it in the military"
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Same energy as "bread is just raw toast" and "cheese is just a loaf of milk" from my little brother
Please stop, my brain is three seconds from popping off and flying around the room like a rocket. I can't handle these revelations!
smoothies are just cold fruit soup
hotdog is a sandwich
cereal is also a cold soup
waving piece of toast around wildly and using it to emphasize “It’s called Chardonnay for a reason, Bryan!”
"we have to write a letter to ourselves and i'm doing it dear evan hansen style"
You mean you rub your nipples and start moaning with delight?
no my hope is pinned on zoe
Beef jerky is just a meat raisin
Same energy as "bread is just raw toast" and "cheese is just a loaf of milk" from my little brother
Please stop, my brain is three seconds from popping off and flying around the room like a rocket. I can't handle these revelations!
smoothies are just cold fruit soup
hotdog is a sandwich
cereal is also a cold soup
water is ice juice
"Stop laughing, you're dead."
we were in drama and i said "ok so after you call me 'cow-handed' you choke me" to my stage fight partner and the other guy completely lost it and i dont know why
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