@KoffeeOwl
Some dude in the hallway: Goat noises I AM FASHIONABLE!!!
Some dude in the hallway: Goat noises I AM FASHIONABLE!!!
YOU CAN'T EVEN HAVE A PROPER SEIZURE
"Trump is in that peach"
"I don't speak spaghetti! How am I supposed to know these words??"
"Ah yes, the magical fruit. Saltines."
Random girl: sits down in front of another girl, sips her juice box loudly and smacks her lips. "So here's the sitch, bitch."
"Oh kimmie baby. Oh sweet-smokes." insert disturbing southern accent
Sadly, I'm not Jesus - Me just now
"wait you speak african??"
"What in the name of God himself, Taylor Lautner, is this??"
playing games in math
“How many fingers do you see” Holds up middle finger in front of teacher
“Five”
Teacher: Doesn’t care
playing games in math
“How many fingers do you see” Holds up middle finger in front of teacher
“Five”
Teacher: Doesn’t care
That reminds me of this one time a girl in my class flipped off a boy and the teacher was just like “why did you do that [girl’s name]?” But she didn’t get in trouble or anything
I go to a Catholic school btw
Everyone: Playing Charades in Math Class
Me: Gets the, "Sweet Spot Dance" as my Charade
Also me: Doesn't know what the hell that is, because I don't look at tiktok
(I had to have a friend show me. Then some girl was nice enough to give me a different paper. It said tree XD)
playing games in math
“How many fingers do you see” Holds up middle finger in front of teacher
“Five”
Teacher: Doesn’t care
LMAO MAC WHY
playing games in math
“How many fingers do you see” Holds up middle finger in front of teacher
“Five”
Teacher: Doesn’t careThat reminds me of this one time a girl in my class flipped off a boy and the teacher was just like “why did you do that [girl’s name]?” But she didn’t get in trouble or anything
I go to a Catholic school btw
Oh I have a story! Me and a friend were signing back and forth and this guy goes “I know sign language too!” And flipped us off and the teacher laughed.
"What do you mean pull a Patton?"
"Pull a patton."
"Gonna be babey?"
"Nah"
"Gonna hold the group together?"
"Nah, gonna steal a kid."
"What do you mean pull a Patton?"
"Pull a patton."
"Gonna be babey?"
"Nah"
"Gonna hold the group together?"
"Nah, gonna steal a kid."
EYE-
Tv: what's the number 1 penguin rule? …
Never swim alone
Me: penguins literally push each other off the iceberg to see if there's a deal waiting to eat them so
My dad a few moments later: well, if the penguin gets eaten, he wasn't swimming alone. And if the rest of them jump in, he's not swimming alone
through text
“What’s the antidote for a sedative?
It’s urgent.”
“Probably charcoal.”
“Ahh I eat that all the time, I’ll be fine.”
playing games in math
“How many fingers do you see” Holds up middle finger in front of teacher
“Five”
Teacher: Doesn’t careLMAO MAC WHY
Nick was the kid who flipped off! OK!
@Christmas-Bootleg-Pikachu
hahahahahah!
“Your laugh sounds like a wheezing dragon!”
“Gee thanks”
"With all that forehead you'd think there'd be a brain in there"
“I got you a lifetime supply of poison. It’s only a lifetime supply if you drink it though.”
“Imma muppet. Lol”
Me: steals my sister's stuffed animal
My sister: heyyy
Me: what?
My sister: you stole Tigey
Me: who me?
My sister: yes
Me: couldn't be
My sister:
Me: then who?
Me: throws stuffed animal at my mom Her
My sister: how do bones get cold??
My mom: same way anything else gets cold
My dad: when you get old and thin… you'll know
Everyone else, looking at him because he's not particularly old or thin:
My dad: That's what I'm told anyway
(I'm not calling him fat, he's just not super skinny)
"paint me like one of your french apples"
“Look, you can open this can of sardines, but you can’t make them burn that bridge before they hatch.”
“My feet are indestructible and they can destroy indestructible things”
“I will delete your kneecaps”
“Getting kidnapped is so great!”
hitting a doll with a pillow repeatedly “CREMATE”
“If you woke up Christmas morning to no presents I bet you would act differently the next year”
“I would still eat the tree”
~some quality quotes from my cousin
"This car has a grilled chicken bowl."
"I got nuts on my waterbottle"
"Sam's birthday is national grab some nuts day"
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