“Waffles are pancakes. With abs. Waffles are basic thots. You don’t want her. You want something new, not something basic. You’ve already seen her before. But the pancake is an original thot. Shes new. You want her instead.”
So what would French Toast be?
"I can't be pregnant. I'm a dude, I don't have a womb, and there's no where for it to come out of."
"Squeeze that bastard out like toothpaste."(dude holy shit I just broke down laughing)
Lmao this was a conversation between me and my friend
“Waffles are pancakes. With abs. Waffles are basic thots. You don’t want her. You want something new, not something basic. You’ve already seen her before. But the pancake is an original thot. Shes new. You want her instead.”
So what would French Toast be?
Pancakes are basic thots, waffles are gym thots, and french toast are caked-up makeup thots. Not, like, the GOOD makeup though. The extra-crispy colonel sanders kind, the ones that use bronzer while already having a fake tan.
Did you mean: cheerleaders
my friend: well since (our other mutual friend) is a bad mom do you want to be my new mom?
me, a disaster child: no
my friend: okay then (turns to other friend) you are now my mom again
My teacher has a board that she writes a random thing on every day and today it says "Oscar says: 'sometimes you encourage a friend by sitting quietly next to them. Other times you just have to bark at them'"
Oscar is her dog lol
About Frankenstein
Friend: the monster is still the best character change my mind
Me: I present to you Clerval. That is all, thanks for coming to my ted talk bye
“I talked to Mr. Barr today and it took all of my willpower not to ask him if he was going to duel Mr. Humilton.”
Choir class many a day ago…
Class: singing Give Us Hope We are the simple (We are the future is the correct line)
“I talked to Mr. Barr today and it took all of my willpower not to ask him if he was going to duel Mr. Humilton.”
I should NOT be laughing this hard
My friend: walks into the classroom and flicks water at me It's Brittney, bitch
"There was a reason I was born on Valentine's Day, dude. I'm black cupid!"
BETHANY I MADE BISCUITS
"No, I'm noottt crying behind my cool kid sunglasses'" -me right now
"The bois!"
JUST A BIG OL' SKREEEEEEEEE
"WHAT are you doing?"
"I just deepthroated this pen so now I'm sanitizing it."
to a person on a Spanish worksheet “Ha! Pablo Escobar you're fricking stupid!”
“Why am I always by the trash?”
“Cause that’s where you live”
Me: "thor is a mule"
Friend: "that's true but Loki is my second husband"
Me: "He's my first"
"i wasn't even interested in going to that college, but that guy was so nice i couldn't say no when he gave me a paper"
((there were people from collages and universities at our school trying to convince us to go to theirs when we graduate))
"i have,,,, a BONE in my hair" whips out bone pen
"can you play a song on your harmonica?" plays song well until last terrible screech of a note "y e s"
"do you like my F r i s b e e ?" takes a frisbee out of their pocket
"holy fuck that guy's taller than my locker!" "well, my locker is half the size of yours so i don't know what you want me to say"
wiggles nail on a board "it's so loose, it's like a loose tooth"
"Ow. My virginity." - My friend.
"If you even had one." - My other friend.
"M u R d E r"
"Aww there's no more chairs. Guess i'll have to get on my knees then, nothing i'm not use to."- A friend
"…No."- My other friend
"Ben Franklin went to France to get allies, and also got STDs."
^i think that last part was Jefferson tho
(to the tune of Old Town Road)
OOOHHHHH I'm gonna yeet myself into the fucking sun, I'm gonna
CRRRRYYYYYYYY till I can't no more
-Me, realizing I have two Ds(no not the dude kind) and that my mom's gonna kill me
^ that’s a whole mood
"I don't plan on having sex for a looong time. I'm a good little Christian boy"
"Well I don't plan on ever having sex but that doesn't make me a nun"
"France and America were unlikely allies, but you know. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. That's a great quote, that's why I have it tattooed."
"Like a tramp stamp?"
"….that's inappropriate."