Screaming cinnamon roll
A:" B and a squirrel sitting in a tree-"
B:"Stabbing each other violently with a stick!"
A:" B and a squirrel sitting in a tree-"
B:"Stabbing each other violently with a stick!"
"But your married to satan."
Friend: "I dropped Men's Chorus because band is better than orchestra and choir!"
Me: "Well, there's a thing called Trans Siberian Orchestra, so I beg to differ."
Friend: "I went to see them actually-"
Me: "Last year?"
Friend and I at the same time: "Yesssss!"
"I'm the Antichrist! See?" unbuttons shirt to reveal plain white undershirt
“Nice ears, can I have them?”
“Slurp them up, sweetheart.”
“Pewdiepie is only anime.” -Me, in the hallway this morning.
"Does this look like an alien penis?"
"No, it looks more like a robot penis."
just gonna chop off mr. soap man's legs really quick so i can fit him in the dating sheet
"Listen bitch, my Tarot card edges are sharp, the box is heavy and I've got one hell of a throwing arm."
m e
“I identify as someone who’s going to shoot someone famous.” “So you identify as John Wilkes Booth?” “What the fuck is wrong with you two.”
“Are you summoning a Japanese demon without us?”
"I only pray for choeseus"
APUSH Teacher: So let's say I have a steel company and don't want to pay other companies for coal and iron. What do I do?
Half the class, at varying volumes: Kill them!
APUSH Teacher:….no, that's illegal….
so are monopolies
What's wrong with Monopoly?
What's wrong with Monopoly?
Deep sigh
Oooh I'm gonna listen to that later-
What's wrong with Monopoly?
"I'm thankful we're not flamingoes" -me
Wait a minute. I'm stupid. You guys weren't even talking about the board game.
I knew that.
APUSH Teacher: So let's say I, a thirty year old man, am going to open a lemonade stand in the middle of winter. But there's this little kid name Jimmy outside with one too. If I wanted to establish a monopoly on lemonade, I could-
Kid One: Kill Jimmy.
Me: Break into Jimmy's house in the middle of the night and put a cut up lemon in his bed like the horse head from the Godfather.
APUSH Teacher:….no.
(Monotone) “oh no, I joined a cult again.”
“Did you hear? They’re gonna resurrect Steve Jobs into an airpod.”
Boy One: "Wait, guys don't moan, right?"
Boy Two: "Why don't ya come over and find out?"
A kid raised his hand in band today and asked, "what's dysphoria?"
Our band director looked confused and said, "does this have anything to do with band?"
"….no"
"Then it doesn't matter"
A kid raised his hand in band today and asked, "what's dysphoria?"
Our band director looked confused and said, "does this have anything to do with band?"
"….no"
"Then it doesn't matter"
@Emi-and-Her-Flutes-Fhyll-and-Giardinelli
tagging urself is a mood
~ Leo
"No trying to resurrect dead goldfish in the middle of class"
"Oh come on it was one time"
"One try twelve"
"Cough, Thirteen, Cough"
"See that's what I mean!"
"I am not weeb, I am simply looking at the animation style."
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