forum Your personal venting space.

Started January 17, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I'm wearing colour and I'm not happy

I'm wearing colour and I'm not happy

Mood…

I feel like I need to have like a really casual talk with my bf but I get so stressed opening up serious or even semi-serious conversations where I’m like setting boundaries I guess. And maybe that’s a result of my poor boundary skills and the fact that I have none that I can really pinpoint and define. I just know when it bothers me in the moment and then I forget if I like it or not. Does anyone else sometimes like things in theory but not in practicality? Like in theory, physical affection is fine by me, but then in actuality, I start to doubt whether I do actually like it and it’s sometimes after the fact. Like my bf is always asking “Is this okay? Are you comfortable?” And all that, and I’m like yeah. But then later I look back on it and I’m like you know what I didn’t love that and it’s not that it made me uncomfortable, I just would rather not like I’m just not in the mood. And maybe that has to do with my valuing emotions connection far above physical connection. And maybe also that fact that I live with my mom and she had very set ideas and despite the fact that i think she’s wrong, I deep down worry that maybe she’s right and so then being physical with my SO is a little uncomfortable because it all just feels so forbidden and…wrong. She’s got it in my head that it all has one outcome and it’s doing it and I honest to god do not want that, so I’m just so torn and conflicted and confused. I don’t know what I want, so I think that I shouldn’t do the this that make me feel that way until I know what I’m about. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Oh honey!! I'm not sure if I entirely understood that, but NOT EVERYTHING ENDS IN SEX! seriously I really hate when people try to tell other people that cause like no?? And if your SO doesn't respect you not wanting to do something then NO THATS NOT OKAY. (Too be clear im not tryna say that they don't respect you, just to everyone in general) This has been a PSA by Pickles, k bye

Oh honey!! I'm not sure if I entirely understood that, but NOT EVERYTHING ENDS IN SEX! seriously I really hate when people try to tell other people that cause like no?? And if your SO doesn't respect you not wanting to do something then NO THATS NOT OKAY. (Too be clear im not tryna say that they don't respect you, just to everyone in general) This has been a PSA by Pickles, k bye

Yeah I feel like it’s not like kissing will also mean sex, but I think at this point it’s be ingrained in me and now I can’t quite shake the feeling. And I also know that my boundaries should be respected and I should respect the boundaries of others, and I intend to talk to my bf.
Anyway, thank you it helps to get an outside opinion sometimes and this was in fact one of those times, so much appreciated. I worry that sounds sarcastic but I promise it’s not.

I’m so sorry to hear that, I know it probably won’t mean much but I hope it all works out. Perhaps there’s another excuse you can use to live with your friend? Does he live closer to all of the places you need to be? Maybe a library you would use or the university itself?

it does make me feel better that u care, thank you.
there isn't any excuse and my parents wanna move to the same city either way so i'm staying here. and i've found a different friend to live with if i have to move out.

Maybe you can say that you want practice living without them? For after college? Since you probably won't be living with them.

when i move out, i won't need an excuse, i'll be 18. but thanks for the advice

<3

hello it is one hour later and i feel like i am melting on the bed will this dumb bitch of a brain give me a break

I’m going through a depression episode as well and I hope yours eases soon xx

when did i write this????? i have a vague memory but other than that i????

So one of my friends who I don’t hang out with that often but I am still kind of close with has recently got a boyfriend and a new friendgroup, and I feel like they have kinda bad influence on her… She doesn’t go to the same school as I do either so we mostly just text sometimes but lately since she started in this new school and started hanging out with all those new people I feel like she has changed a lot in a bad way. My other friend agrees with me on this as well. I don’t want her to get in trouble, but if I tell her that I don’t like her boyfriend and new friends she will probably get offended and stuff… and since I don’t see her that often I don’t really wanna tell her that over text since I then have to take the argue/fight that might come over text as well and I don’t want there to be like any kind of misunderstandings where she gets mad at me because of misunderstanding something that I have written… This girl is great, but she does have a lot of opinions and gets offended really easily so…

Does anyone have any advice for me? I don’t even know if this is the right thread for these kinds of things, but still… anyone? Sorry if it was a bit confusing haha…

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. A similar thing happened to me last year and I'm the first to admit that I didn't handle it well at all and now we don't ever talk to each other. I honestly don't know what to tell you. I'm bad at advice sorry <3 that sucks

Although my one little thing is don't give up on her. If you guys are good friends, then she should eventually realize that you only want what's best for her. Even if it takes a really long time.

Yeah, hopefully she does… thanks

Sad about your friend, though

Okay, do you ever just wanna pull your hair out you're so stressed? Cuz I have 3(three) big projects due, I have to rewrite my entire pitch to the people who sponsor the club I'm president of cuz my vice president isn't coming so it's just me and our secretary/public relations attendant/awesome lady, my dad is leaving the damn CONTINENT in 31ish hours, and to top it off, I have to hecking BABYSIT and get my brother to the neighbor's house intact without missing my bus.
I'm freaking the fuck out.

I'm sorry. It will be okay. Remember, sometimes it's not bad to skip something or to at least take a second to breathe.

I'm sorry. It will be okay. Remember, sometimes it's not bad to skip something or to at least take a second to breathe.

The problem is I can't because each thing is vital to a grade or a club and I can't let anybody down

Coffee, and take each thing one at a time, in order of due dates and/or importance. You can do it

I'm sorry. It will be okay. Remember, sometimes it's not bad to skip something or to at least take a second to breathe.

The problem is I can't because each thing is vital to a grade or a club and I can't let anybody down

I know the feeling. I have two papers to finish, and an 4 pg essay to write. I missed a test. And who knows what else in french, a class I was barely on top of. All because my mom pulled me out of school for a week.

Coffee, and take each thing one at a time, in order of due dates and/or importance. You can do it

thank you pickles <3

I'm currently missing soccer practice (my passion) because I can't play because my stupid knee

OOF

I hope it heals fast! That always sucks.

We had 3 on 3 today, which is some basketball thing don’t ask me to explain it idk anything about sports. A few of my friends and I didn’t do it because we don’t like basketball. That’s not the point though.
So there’s this girl, let’s call her E. She’s not exactly my friend but she’s really nice and a great person. During one of the games she hurt her ankle really bad. She couldn’t even walk and a teacher had to give her a piggy back ride to the office. She went home. We were thinking her ankle was sprained and/or broken. (Later we found out the doctors said it was just sprained, so that’s probably was it is)
There’s this other girl, let’s call her A. She used to be our friend but we kinda yeeted her out of the friend group because of drama I won’t go into now. She’ll occasionally still sit with our group but we won’t really talk to her. So anyway at lunch she sat down and she was really mad about her team losing. She was complaining about how her team lost and my friend (let’s call her AM) said, “You’re probably going to hate me, I’m sorry, but I don’t care. E got hurt.” Then A said, “It doesn’t matter if anyone gets hurt as long as we win!” AM told her, “Those are the words of an over-competitive jerk.” A moved over a few seats but they could still talk. A called AM a stuck up snob (which is not even close to true). A also said that AM “could at least show some support.” A CLASSMATE GOT BADLY HURT I DON’T CARE THAT YOU LOST! HER ANKLE GETTING BETTER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME GAME!

_{* whispers * if it truly doesn't matter who's hurt as long as someone wins, I'd punch that girl in the nose so she'd shut up and let me win the argument…}

_{* whispers * if it truly doesn't matter who's hurt as long as someone wins, I'd punch that girl in the nose so she'd shut up and let me win the argument…}

😄🤣👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

My other friend (C) told me about a time A told her she had a dream that Brendon Urie was chasing after her with a knife and C was thinking she wished that would actually happen

I also came up with this (this didn’t actually happen btw):
A: calls AM a stuck up snob
AM: uno reverse card

So I was at driving school tonight and we were talking about walking in front of cars and some kid says, "so if a person jumps in front of a car, they're probably suicidal" and i, being the little crap I am, lean over to the girl next to me and whisper "or he's just got a healthy dose of gen z"
I think I made a new friend because during the videos we kept leaning over and making snarky remarks
Pretty off topic, but idk, I was just reminded of that

We had 3 on 3 today, which is some basketball thing don’t ask me to explain it idk anything about sports. A few of my friends and I didn’t do it because we don’t like basketball. That’s not the point though.
So there’s this girl, let’s call her E. She’s not exactly my friend but she’s really nice and a great person. During one of the games she hurt her ankle really bad. She couldn’t even walk and a teacher had to give her a piggy back ride to the office. She went home. We were thinking her ankle was sprained and/or broken. (Later we found out the doctors said it was just sprained, so that’s probably was it is)
There’s this other girl, let’s call her A. She used to be our friend but we kinda yeeted her out of the friend group because of drama I won’t go into now. She’ll occasionally still sit with our group but we won’t really talk to her. So anyway at lunch she sat down and she was really mad about her team losing. She was complaining about how her team lost and my friend (let’s call her AM) said, “You’re probably going to hate me, I’m sorry, but I don’t care. E got hurt.” Then A said, “It doesn’t matter if anyone gets hurt as long as we win!” AM told her, “Those are the words of an over-competitive jerk.” A moved over a few seats but they could still talk. A called AM a stuck up snob (which is not even close to true). A also said that AM “could at least show some support.” A CLASSMATE GOT BADLY HURT I DON’T CARE THAT YOU LOST! HER ANKLE GETTING BETTER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME GAME!

That's ridiculous. I don't even think I have to explain why this is terrible.

So I was at driving school tonight and we were talking about walking in front of cars and some kid says, "so if a person jumps in front of a car, they're probably suicidal" and i, being the little crap I am, lean over to the girl next to me and whisper "or he's just got a healthy dose of gen z"
I think I made a new friend because during the videos we kept leaning over and making snarky remarks
Pretty off topic, but idk, I was just reminded of that

The people you can meet at Driver's class….

So my phone got taken away from me and I know I'm addicted to it and I know I'm overreacting since it'll only be a week but for me, my phone is, and has been, a crutch. Like if I don't have it, then my brain sets off so many alarms and my anxiety literally gets worse because I don't trust people with my phone and there are so many vents on my phone that I cannot let her see and she doesn't know my password so there's little chance of her seeing any of those vents but she'll still see my notifications and it's causing so much anxiety. Not to mention that I've been using my phone to distract me from other problems that are actual problems and last night was really hard and I'm scared because I don't want to go back to those actual problems more often than I already am cuz I've been ignoring them and I'm scared that I won't be able to fight back and I'm scared that I'll relapse really bad and I know I'm overreacting but I've basically been using my phone because otherwise everything is not good. Like when I have a panic attack in the middle of the night like I have for the past few months, and especially last night cuz that one was bad, I drown myself in music and scroll through Instagram to distract before I do things I'll regret and I just- I don't want to go back.
_{and yes i am a cliche teenager addicted to her phone but i'm still overreacting and freaking out a lot}

shoves all the books at you READ MY LITTLE MUNCHKIN YOU WILL BE OKAY