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"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)
"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)
turns around holding tray with goopy piece of pizza on it
(enthusiastically)
"I just LOVE their pizza!"
"I swear if that bitch yells at me again I'll stab her with an eyebrow pencil"
“Want to jump off a cliff with us?” “Sure, why not?”
"Y'know, you really should get that cough checked out."
"I'm sorry, I've just got this horrible tickle in the back of my throat, but I think I can get it out. If I cough hard enough, either it'll clear up, or I'll die. At this point, I'll take either one."
"Y'know, you really should get that cough checked out."
"I'm sorry, I've just got this horrible tickle in the back of my throat, but I think I can get it out. If I cough hard enough, either it'll clear up, or I'll die. At this point, I'll take either one."
That is me currently.
the toilet's crunchy again
my friend told me that a person in her cooking class snorted pain meds.
"Listen, I've been told not to get into fights over guys, but if she lays a hand on him, I will not hesitate to strangle her with my bare hands."
"You're not going to cross country? Do you want to die?"
"Yeah, kinda!"
"This is Christmas music, not Halloween music! It doesn't go REET REET REET!"
(Thank you, lovely band teacher)
My friend- "I don't know when the middle of my life is, so I'm always having a mid-life crisis."
"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."
Kid: Does Fortnite dance in tune with the Witch's Rap from Into the Woods
"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."
This has the same energy as the "You are boring! B-O-R-N-I-N" vine
"Have a weekend"
Me: Hey Emma, what does a jellyfish say?
Emma: … WHAAAALLLLLEEEE
Moral of the story: If you don’t know what an animal’s sound is, scream “WHAAAALLLLEEEE” at the top of your lungs. 100% accuracy guaranteed
Moral of the story: If you don’t know what an animal’s sound is, scream “WHAAAALLLLEEEE” at the top of your lungs. 100% accuracy guaranteed
sounds like a solid plan
Teacher: "Alright, so Patton was, here, let me write it on the board—out of the way Pearl Harbor!" erases the board
Me: "That's what Japan said."
Teacher:
Class:
Me:
Teacher: "Well (laughs) you—you have a point."
Lmaoooo
there's also the common theme in that class (Holocaust History), where we constantly remind each other:
-And on today's list of things we shouldn't be laughing at.
-Enough people have walked past the door while we're laughing that they're gonna have a meeting and say "Hey guys, I think they're having too much fun down in Holocaust!"
Or, the time we watched Nazi propaganda, which was basically Nazis hailing Hitler over and over again for like forty minutes.
people raise their hands during the nazi propaganda to go the the bathroom and/or to ask questions
Teacher: turns around, starts Holy—! I was worried there for a moment that the propaganda was too convincing! Just…eight of you with your hands up!
Teacher: These are the school-appropriate pictures of Lenin's corpse I can show you.
Girl: Whips out phone to google Lenin's corpse
Girl, looking at pictures: Oh. Oh. Oh….
Teacher: What did I tell you?
Teacher: Gives a ten minute explanation of the project schedule and says it's due in a month, repeats herself multiple times
Teacher: So it's not due today. Go ahead and get to work.
Kid: It's dUE TODAY? WHAT??
Teacher: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?
Kid:
Teacher:
Class:
Kid & Teacher: Do you really want me to answer that? Oh my God did I actually say that out loud?
Class: hysterically laughing
"I have mastered this wall, this wall is my bitch"
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