forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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Person 1: "Jesus christ on crack!"
Person 2: "Shut up you depressed gay fuck"
Person 3:"That's homophobic and you must be punished." Pelts person 2 with grapes

Teacher: "Like, if I had a dream that Miriam murdered me–"
Me: "You probably did."
Teacher: "… But I didn't.

"A peace sign and an okay sign can both be changed to a middle finger quickly, don't test me."

I should mention that after this, I turned to a dude who had been bothering me and went "Okay." made an okay sign, then flipped it to a middle finger.

Me: "Wait, so you're gonna tell us if we're a witch or a villager?"
Teacher: smiles "Yup."
Me: "Oh goodness–"

Boys chanting WITCH! WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!

Teacher whispers to me that I am a villager
I am unsure of how to react unsuspiciously, so I nod, itch my shoulder, and put my hand down, accidentally sending my pencil flying through the air and hitting me in the face
Friends: Point aggressively
One friend: Stares at me in absolute horror

"The unicorn is a personal style choice!"

• Me

Person 1: "Jesus christ on crack!"
Person 2: "Shut up you depressed gay fuck"
Person 3:"That's homophobic and you must be punished." Pelts person 2 with grapes

can we take a moment to appreciate this oh my god

(pretty much all of these were said by my friends. high school is a weird place)

"I NEED TO CONSUME SLEEP"

"hey do you have a spare fuck to give?"

"IT'S PI DAY BITCH"

"what if I told you someone died?"

"oh look the police are here… again…"

"there's an ambulance here again and that's sketchy, like, was there a fight? did someone have a heart-attack? or is a girl giving birth?" "probably birth"

"the flex-ed teachers are precious. they are children"

as loudly and obnoxiously as you can imagine, right in the middle of class
"So I had a dream about this guy in Europe and he was like REALLY HOT and I think he's my soulmate so like should I go to Europe and try to find him? Cause like that would be super expensive but like HOT SOULMATE so yeah. I don't know."
various sentiments from friends
….dead silence from the rest of class
giggles from me and my friend
"LADIES would you PLEASE be QUIET and WORK?" (my teacher the one time he just completely snapped and yelled at them because they never did their work)

Me bursting into my drama room "HELLO NERDS, MOTHERFUCKERS AND MOTHERFUCKEREES! Hey Emily."

Teacher: "I pushed this assignment to every period except yours this morning because some people in this class do their assignments before they are supposed to.
Us: Looks at that one student
Student" "WHA? ME?!"
Everyone else: "Yes. You."

When my friend's shirt slips a bit off of her shoulder, everyone yells dress code. We do it whenever someone is out of dress code as a joke. My friend turns and looks at everyone. "Oh woe is me, my shoulders are sooooo distracting."

This reminds me of my sister at her old job, due to her being one year underage she was forbidden from sacking bottles of alcohol. Instead, she would have to ask an adult to put the bottle in a bag for her, which is kind of stupid, so every time the adult did it she’d whisper “Oh no, you’re drunk now!” or something along those lines.

(this was a convo between teacher and a student)
Teacher: death is one of the two things you can't avoid
Students: what's the other one? Life?
Teacher: scoffs No, taxes

"Well you can avoid taxes at least for a bit. It's not legal but it's possible. All else fails, fake your death and move to Nepal as a hermit." -the person behind me reading over my shoulder

"If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of car payments."
– a quote from my Accounting booklet.

"I just wasted my life getting to 102 tile clicks on a piano game."
"Why?"
"Dunno. I'm gonna go play it some more."

(We’re doing Peter Pan and the girl who plays Peter (yes a girl) isn’t here so our director is playing Peter in her place)

Captain Hook: I’ll do anything you ask!
Director (as Peter): Anything? Well, if you say you’re a codfish
Everyone: gasps
Hook (really quietly): I’macodfish
Director (as Peter): Louder
Everyone: gasps louder
Director (stops the scene for a moment): That was the line! The line was “louder!”

Baby sister: doing some sort of dance while pointing at me

"YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE!"

(Believe it or not, I am a girl and my name isn't "Uncle Richie". I know. Shocking.)

Me: Dang, dang, digity, dang, dang, dang!
My friend, joinging me: Dang, dang, digity, dang, dang, dang!
My other friend: Dang, dang, digity, dang, dang, dang!

Baby sister: doing some sort of dance while pointing at me

"YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE!"

(Believe it or not, I am a girl and my name isn't "Uncle Richie". I know. Shocking.)

That's nice, but I'd like to remind you that this thread is for people who are in High school or college. Hell, even middle school. But neither of you… are.

So…

Baby sister: doing some sort of dance while pointing at me

"YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE!"

(Believe it or not, I am a girl and my name isn't "Uncle Richie". I know. Shocking.)

Uncle Rick?????

Baby sister: doing some sort of dance while pointing at me

"YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE! YOU'RE UNCLE RICHIE!"

(Believe it or not, I am a girl and my name isn't "Uncle Richie". I know. Shocking.)

Uncle Rick?????

XD

(This isn’t a middle/high school student but:)

talking about ASoUE
Mom: My fist is a series of unfortunate events to your face
Dad: What about “your face is a series of unfortunate events”?

"I am about to kill a kid."
"I VOLUNTEER!"

(This isn’t a middle/high school student but:)

talking about ASoUE
Mom: My fist is a series of unfortunate events to your face
Dad: What about “your face is a series of unfortunate events”?

I vote it counts because I've had similar conversations with my friends

"Me, eating a blueberry muffin? What the hell is wrong with you? I'm an asshole, not a complete psychopath."

"Wait if he goes by himself he can't have a romantic time and if he goes with his kids he can't have a romantic time what do I do? Wait… WE'RE NOT GOING HERE WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE. AUSTRALIA. No romantic time." (pls don't think this was me I would never say that out loud)

"Wait if he goes by himself he can't have a romantic time and if he goes with his kids he can't have a romantic time what do I do? Wait… WE'RE NOT GOING HERE WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE. AUSTRALIA. No romantic time." (pls don't think this was me I would never say that out loud)

literally Marinette talking about Adrien

Person 1: examines bag of chips while squinting Does this have hazel nuts in it? Guess we'll find out eats a handful of chips

Person 2: turns around Allergies are your body trying to kill yourself before the food does whispers which it won't turns back around to continues talking to friends

"Wait where's everyone else?" Peeks around curtain "So thaat's where we were supposed to go when they told us to go to the auditorium."

standing in a circle swaying side to side while one person spins in the middle and chanting yee-haw yee-haw yee-haw yee-haw