Carefully, and slowly, Kyle interlaced the rest of his fingers with his until they were fully holding hands, “Talk, cry, scream to me, do anything to me, hit me if you want to let you feelings out,” He swallowed, “But please don’t jump,” He whispered, “I’ll help. I’m here for you.”
Marius was weak, trembling, unable to remove his hand from Kyle's. If I jump now– he'll go over with me. The thought made his blood run cold. So, slowly, carefully, not meeting Kyle's eyes, he came down from the ledge, and backed away.
Kyle released a breath of relief, carefully wrapping Marius in an embrace, “Never, ever think about ending your life. There’s people to talk to, people who care for you. I care for you mi amor, more then I ever thought I would but I do, and I want to help,” He pulled back and rested a hand on Marius’ cheek softly, “Please talk to me.”
Marius flinched away, the contact bringing him nothing but a painful reminder of how badly he'd failed. He was still in a daze, not fully understanding everything that was going on– the only thing he knew for sure was that he was a weak, pathetic failure. "If you wanted to help," he repeated in a quaking voice. "Then you should have let me jump."
Kyle shook his head, “No, gosh no, Marius,” He used his knuckle of his index finger to make him look him in the eye, “Jumping wouldn’t have helped anything. I’ve seen too many people die, I’m not adding another one to my list. Especially someone I care about.”
Why? Marius's inner voice screamed. Why do you care so much about me? You barely know me! He turned his head away again, unable to form a coherent sentence for another minute or two. "I- I'm sorry. I– I'll just.. go back to my flat–"
“No way. You’re staying with me tonight so I can keep an eye on you,” Kyle said firmly yet somehow softly as he kept good grip on his hand, “Please. I want to help and I-“ He sighed, “Por favor mi amor? Just this once?”
"Why do you keep calling me that?" Marius asked, voice breaking, just a little. "You- You barely know me. Why do you care this much?" His eyes drifted back to the edge of the roof. "Just let me die.."
Kyle hadn’t even realised the name being spoken, it just felt right so he didn’t question it, “I care because you’re a beautiful soul. I may not know you well, but I know enough that I would be heart broken if you died. Let me get to know you then, then I can show you how much I really care.”
Marius pulled away, each word hitting him like a bullet. Lies. All lies, each one of them. But he humoured the other man, too exhausted to argue. "Fine. Fine. I- I'll do whatever it is you want me to do tonight."
Kyle,released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Gracias. Come on, we’re getting off this roof and giving you a good nights rest for once.” He said, gently leading him over to the exit of the roof and the large drop.
Marius trailed after numbly, not trusting himself enough to speak. The elevator ride seemed to stretch on forever, neither of them saying a single word, and the walk across campus wasn't much better– not with the nocturnal college students staring at the tears on his cheeks and his red-rimmed eyes.
The walk was too long for Kyle’s liking but eventually, the made it back to his flat. He quickly unlocked the door and led Marius inside. There wasn’t much inside, just the essentials and a few personal items - most were pictures of Kyle and an older woman, “You can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in if you want, and you can have my bed, I’ll take the couch or the floor.”
At his words, Marius came alive again, shaking his head quickly and firmly. "No. Thank you– but I'll take the floor." Misery and shame laced themselves through his voice, much steadier now than it had been minutes ago. "It's fine."
“No, no way am letting a guest sleep on the floor,” Kyle sighed and rubbed at his face, “You said you’d do what I wanted you to for tonight, and I want you to sleep on the bed, por favor.” Never had Kyle acted this way towards someone, and it kind of shocked him but he didn’t mind.
Marius's shoulder's sagged, his eyes flickering away once more. The Kyle speaking to him sounded so foreign, so soft, that he was almost convinced that this was all an act. "If– If you say so."
Kyle gently led him towards the bedroom, the bed big enough to fit both of them if they tried, “Here.” He dug out a change of clothes and handed them to Marius, “You can change in here while I go get some water. Climb into the bed anytime you want, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He said softly before leaving the room somewhat reluctantly.
As soon as Kyle had left, Marius's first instinct was to continue hat he'd failed to finish. But no– he couldn't do that in Kyle's house, that was so incredibly wrong on multiple levels. Just the thought of Kyle walking in to see his corpse on the ground sent a jolt through his heart– no, that wasn't right. He'd have to wait, find another way.
He got dressed sluggishly, climbing into bed and staring at the ceiling, an empty feeling beginning to settle.
Kyle came back a few moments after Marius was in bed, two cups of water in his hand. He placed one down next to the boy in the bed and sighed, “Please try and get some sleep.” He said quietly, walking over to a pack of face wipes near by. He rubbed off the concealer that was hiding his scar, though he didn’t look at Marius, “You need it.”
Marius pushed himself up into a sitting position, glancing at Kyle as he took hold of the glass. “I— Thank you.” I’m sorry. He caught a glimpse of Kyle wiping something off his face, but could r see what st the angle he was situated.
“Don’t thank me, Marius, there’s no need,” Kyle looked over his shoulder and gave him a small smile, not caring about the ugly scar across his face. He sighed and walked into the small bathroom next door to change into something more comfortable.
Marius blinked slowly at the sight of the jagged scar– but in all honesty, it wasn't that surprising. He had many of his own, after all, and he was too exhausted to feel particularly shocked by something so insignificant in the grand scheme of Kyle's personality.
Kyle came back out a little while after, frowning about something on his phone unti he noticed Marius still awake. Surely if he tried he would have been asleep by now? “Marius, if you don’t go to sleep I’ll have to drug you so you do so.”
Marius raised his head weakly, meeting the man’s eyes. “Insomnia,” he said quietly, by way of explanation, rolling over into his back. “Please don’t drug me.” I’ve tried to overdose before.
“I won’t, promise,” Kyle put a hand over his heart, “Look, I can’t force you to sleep, but lying with your eyes open isn’t going to help either.” He sat down on the floor next to the bed.
Marius nodded, shifting beneath the covers. “You should- you should sleep,” he prompted gently, closing his eyes. “Don’t stay up on my account.”
“I’ll sleep in a bit, once I know you’re sleeping.” Kyle replied, pulling out an old blanket and pillow from under the bed.
“Kyle…” Marius’s eyes opened again as he propped himself up on his elbow, rubbing at his eyes. “Please. Go to sleep..” He was ready to beg, ready to do anything that would make him take care of himself.
“And I will. Just in a minute. Now you sleep,” Kyle replied, a small amount of his bite coming back into his voice, “Por favor.” He sighed a little and rubbed at his face with one hand.
Marius lowered himself back down onto the bed, squeezing his eyes shut. How could I possibly mess up this bad? God, I really am a failure… not that I didn't know that before..