forum •Fucking With My head• [one/one]

Started March 17, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

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(by the way: i should have said this earlier, but i'm totally okay with you doing whatever you want to Beckham. Honestly, just fuck him up, i love hurting my characters Im not a sadist i swear)

Lily nodded firmly, and started driving. "It's no trouble." she replied. "Beck told me what happened, and you don't look so good." she pulled out of the parking lot, eyes fixed on the road. Lily and her twin brother Rowan were both seniors at the school, both well-known, though for different reasons. Rowan was well-known for being on the basketball team, and for the fact that the right side of his face was horribly scarred, having been burned when he was younger. Lily's left arm bore the same sort of burns; both injuries were courtesy of their birth parents.
Beck was silent, leaning his head on the window, curled up with his knees to his chest.

(ahaha, well i am, and now that i have the green card to go, im gonna take this consent and run with it~)
(also, im gonna spare us the pain and skip forward to when they get to the house)

As soon as Beck's sister drove away he would feel himself relax a bit, finally being away from the place he had been beaten down on. "It's okay, this happens a lot.." He muttered, forcing himself to not make eye contact even though he knew he was supposed to.

Then, as the few minutes of silence to himself flew by, they were suddenly at Beck's house.
Kohen spared no time in getting out. He shoved his hands into his hood's pockets and tugged on it downward- like an awkward teenager. He waited for the others to get out before walking up the door.
He had never seen beck's house and had always assumed he was some sort of rich kid, but looking at things now, his house seemed pretty normal- average. A part of him was relieved for that.

(alrighty!)
(Kk)

The Altair home was by no means the home of a rich kid, no, though it was of a decent size. it had to be, seeing as how there were five kids, a dog and a cat, and the parents. The cat belonged to Beck, and the dog was just the family animal. Lily parked the car, pulling the key out. "Come on, boys." she said. "We need to talk to mom and dad about where Kohen's going to sleep."

Beck simply nodded a little bit. He had been quiet the whole drive, staring out the window. He got out of the car, taking a deep breath as they headed into the house. They were greeted at the door by Mr. Altair, who was a tall man in perhaps his late thirties, with dark hair and tanned skin.

"Beck, you alright?" he asked, making no move to touch his adopted son; he didn't know what headspace Beck was in, and knew that a touch could go the wrong way.

Beck shrugged a little bit, taking a deep breath and hoping his dad wouldn't ask too many questions. That was how he thought of Mr. Altair; as his dad, seeing as how his biological father was a piece of shit.

Mr Altair nodded a little bit, stepping out of the way so that they could come in. Lily moved over to their adoptive father, speaking to him in low tones, gesturing with her hands slightly. Mr Altair nodded again, looking over at Kohen. "Of course it's alright if he stays tonight." he said, both to Lily and to Kohen.

Kohen casually walked in after Beck and Lily, making sure to keep his distance. Whenever he was in a new environment he made sure to be cautious. There wasn't anything that Kohen needed to be afraid of, but it was something he did subconsciously. Kohen also happened to be a good observer- he had to be, or the smallest of details that was off in his house would set off his mother. So when Beckham's father didn't move to receive his son, he found it odd. Now Kohen wanted to know what was up. Ever since then, Beck had always acted strangely- he could tell in smallest of his movements.

As soon as Beck's father turned to him, he quickly ducked his head a little, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. He was okay with looking at the others in the eyes, but when it came to older males- around the age of his father, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Thank you, I appreciate it" He said almost too stiffly as if he was nervous.

Mr Altair nodded. "Of course." He replied. "Beck, can he stay in your room tonight? Uncle Jacob is still here, and he's got the couch, so…" He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little awkward. "And Jake would sleep on the floor if I asked, but I'd rather not ask him that, when you've got room. Unless that doesn't work for you two?"

Beck stiffened a little bit, inhaling softly and looking over at Kohen. He looked away after a moment, scuffing his foot along the floor. "I…I guess…" He mumbled, not meeting any of their eyes. Sure, his room which was big enough for two, but…but Kohen? Sure, Kohen had saved him, but…he closed his eyes for a moment, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

Kohen watched the uneasiness in Beck's gestures. Of course. Why did he think for one second that Beck would not be afraid of him?. I mean, he had gone at the kid. This was his fault. Maybe if he had been nice from the beginning none of this would be happening. But of course Kohen always had to be that one asshole. Right about now, Kohen was mentally cussing himself out. Why had he taken the offer? He should of just walked home. Even his dad's beatings sounded better than the painful awkwardness in the room he was being put through.
Maybe it wasn't too late to opt out? But Beck's dad was being kind enough and Kohen didn't have it in his heart to turn the offer down now.
"No, I'm sure it will work out- unless Beckham doesn't want to. I'm sorry for the inconvenience" He said, bowing a little, like how his dad made him do whenever he was apologizing. Kohen seemed respectable in these kinds of situations. It wasn't something he got to show off very often.

Mr Altair looked a little pained. "Yeah, alright. I…know this isn't ideal for either of you, but until Lily and Rowan move out, we don't have any spare bedrooms."

"Dad, if that's a hint, you said yourself that we were welcome to stay as long as we want or need to." Lily said, narrowing her eyes at their father.

Mr Altair laughed a little bit. "Yes, that's right. I'm not giving hints, Lily, calm down." He looked at the two boys. "Now, if that's everything, let's head to bed? Beck knows where everything is."

Beckham nodded a little. "Come on." He said to Kohen, not meeting his eyes as he kicked off his shoes and headed upstairs, going down the hallway and opening up the door to his room. He had a queen-size bed, and laying in the middle of it was a grey tabby kitten, that opened its eyes as they came inside. He greeted the cat with a soft, quiet coo, forgetting for a moment that Kohen was there. There was a bathroom off the room; this was originally the guest room, before he came here, and he had needed his own bathroom due to…issues. The cat stretched lazily, jumping down off the bed and walking over to Kohen to inspect him. Two walls of the room were painted a gentle eggshell blue color, and the floor was a bit messy, clothes and random objects strewn over it without any organization. Beckham looked back at Kohen for a moment, then away again, chewing on his lip and unsure what to do.

Kohen nodded, almost envious at the father-daughter interaction. He had to look away before he brought any more unwanted attention upon himself.
He followed Beck upstairs and had to pause before he entered his room. Kohen's eyes widened a little. The room was big. Very big in Kohen's opinion. He slept on the couch since their house was small- only three people lived in it and there were only two rooms. Thinking about this made Kohen's head hurt because he was reminded that his father was not on good terms with his wife.
But he finally stepped in when he had collected his thoughts. "Thanks" he muttered at Back's words.
"Your room…it's um, nice." He said, looking around also noticing the bathroom. Beck had it all. What more could a kid want than this?
He had a nice father, loving siblings, a big room, a cat.
Kohen's eyes drooped a little. It was all he had wanted too.
When the cat came down from the bed to check Kohen out, he looked down at it and crouched, a small side smile displayed on his lips. He let the cat get famliar first before he went to pet it. As soon as he took his hand out of his jacket's pockets there were clear visible scars on them- scratches.
Kohen loved cats and often times spent the rest of his day after school on the streets feeding the strays. He would get too close to some though and they would scratch him, but he didn't mind.

"Thanks. I've only got it because i had a nervous breakdown in the other one that I was supposed to have." Beck replied, shrugging his shoulders. The truth was, the other one had been closer to the rest of the family and he had started shaking or crying every time someone came too close to the door, because he had been so used to footsteps meaning his father, so used to footsteps meaning that pain was coming and that he couldn't do anything to stop it. So he had been moved to what, at that time, had been the guest bedroom. This one and the master bedroom were the only two with connected bathrooms, and in reality, this was supposed to be a jack-and-jill bedroom, with the bathroom shared between two rooms. But the other bedroom that would originally have connected to the bathroom had been blocked off, the door to the bathroom filled in. The room was now used as an office space. His eyes fell to the kitten, which was leaning into Kohen's hand. "His name is Smoke." he said simply, taking off his jacket and setting it in the closet. "I'm going to take a shower." he headed into the bathroom without another word, not sure he could handle having to talk any more than he already had.

Smoke purred quietly as he was petted, leaning into Kohen's hands. The little tabby kitten had an extra toe on each back foot, and his toes were white, as if he had dipped them in paint. Otherwise, he was a beautiful grey tabby color all over, and still rather small. He wasn't even a year old yet.

Kohen nodded his head in approval. "That's a lovely name, I love it." He said, his smile widening as the kitten leaned into his hand. He seemed to be in love with small kitten- they were his weakness after all. Kohen's eyes briefly flickered up to Beckham's persona before looking away. "Alright, that's fine, I'll just wait here." He said in a low voice.
As soon as Beck left Kohen let out a shaky breath. He laughed nervously at the tiny kitten. "I'm not really used to talking to others one on one you know?"
Kohen gently scooped the kitten into his arms and sat in the corner of the room on the floor. He set his stuff down beside him as his shaky hand stroked the kitten's fur.
If Kohen was being honest, he wasn't sure if coming to Beck's house was a good idea. He was thinking too much of the consequences he would receive when he did go back home. Kohen had no cellphone to call his parents with and he was sure that his father would be furious for not contacting them. But…Kohen wasn't sure if he was going to go back home after this. The fear that Kohen felt was enough to make him want to runaway.
It wasn't a big deal. He had saved up enough money to live off of and shelter wasn't going to be a problem either. This wasn't the first time Kohen would be sleeping on the streets. The longest he had gone without a roof over his head had been two weeks because his father had kicked him out. He had found out that Kohen was gay. If child services had found out about that, he would have been chucked with a new family.
As time drifted on Kohen's eyes began to slowly close. He was tired. And so to keep himself awake he decided to hum a song to himself, it was a mix of melancholic and nostalgic notes.

Smoke meowed quietly as he was picked up, and started purring once Kohen sat back down, curling up in the boy's lap. He squirmed a little bit, batting gently at Kohen's shirt, claws still sheathed. The tiny kitten was obviously well-taken care of, with a sleek body and soft, shiny fur.

Beckham came back out of the bathroom after a while, dressed, his red hair still damp. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing over at Kohen. He didn't know what to do about the other boy, if he was honest. Was he supposed to share the bed? Or…? He left the room to talk to Rowan, to borrow some pajamas for Kohen to use, since Beck's wouldn't fit the taller boy.

(sorry! i've been very out of it)

Kohen barely even saw the other male leave the room. Where was he going? He mentally asked himself. Kohen willed himself to get up again, but to no avail. His legs would not let him get up from his resting position. "Beck…" He muttered, but it was mostly to himself. He could sleep on the floor, he wouldn't mind that. But Kohen would have to wait until Beckham came back to tell him that. Until then, he softly scratched the small kitten behind the ears.

(it's alright! I…uhm…am very curious as to the name change?? Why?)

Smoke meowed again, rolling onto his back to nip lightly at Kohen's fingers, batting at the boy's hands, purring the whole time.

Beckham knocked on Rowan's door, and the door was opened after a moment by his older adopted brother. Rowan's scarred face looked tired. "Yeah? What's up?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at Beckham.

"I-I…I need to borrow some pajamas…Lilly told you what…what happened, right? I…Kohen needs pajamas…" He stammered out, looking up at Rowan anxiously.

The taller male sighed, and nodded, heading back into his room and coming back with pajamas, holding them out to Beck. "Lilly told me, yes." He replied. "I'm really sorry, Beck. I know that brings back memories. If you need to talk, I'm always here for you."

Beck nodded, taking the pajamas. "I…I know. But…I'm okay…I've…I've got the appointment with the therapist again soon, I'll…I'll be okay. Thanks though, Rowan."

"Yeah, of course. Just be careful, yeah? Love you. Now go to bed. I gotta get sleep before tomorrow." Rowan waved a little bit, heading back into the room.

"Goodnight. Love you too." Beck replied, heading back to his room and coming in. He was feeling better than he had earlier, which was good. And he hadn't hurt himsel, which was even better. He walked over to Kohen, holding out the pajamas to him. "Here. They're Rowan's." He said. "I…you can sleep on the left side of the bed or I can get you some pillows and blankets. Whatever works." His voice was pretty quiet, and he wasn't meeting Kohen's eyes.

( @the-ghost-witch-izzy thank you !! i had no idea you were stalking this thread lmao, i almost never get any stalkers)
(and @Icefire ahaha,,,let's just say this is about to take a very dark turn for the worst.)

Kohen looked up at Beckham, eyes tired, but still the same threatening glare. He lifted Smoke up from his lap and put him on his jacket that he had taken off. Now Kohen never took off his jacket. Not even in the summer. No one knew why but now it was clear as day light. There were thick deep scars running up his forearm and upper arm. Some were old and pale, a little lighter than his natural skin color, but others were a deep red, some pink, others looked like they had been done yesterday.
He stood up and took a step closer to Beckham. There seemed to be an irritated look on his face now. "Why do you always do that?" He said, his voice firm. He reached his arm out and grabbed Back's chin, jerking it so that he looked at Kohen. "What? Am I that disgraceful to look at?"
Truth be told, Kohen hated that small gesture. Everyone he ever knew gave him that same look- or well, the lack of acknowledgment. His mother when Kohen's father came at Kohen with the fury of a bull. She always looked away. And the kids at school? They always averted their gazes. Sometimes, Kohen felt invisible.
Kohen looked into Beck's eyes, trying to search for something- maybe some answers, but found nothing. He let go of Beck and took the pajamas. "I'll take the floor." He muttered, turning away.

(hoo boy. Alright then)

Beck flinched at that, backing away from Kohen and dropping the pajamas on the floor. "Don't touch me!" he snapped out, tugging his arms close to his body, his eyes finally snapping up to meet Kohen's. "Just– why are you always like this? Every time I help you you lash out at me." he turned away, heading over to his bed, not looking at the other boy. "God, never mind. Don't answer, I don't want to hear it." Smoke meowed quietly, running to the bed and jumping onto it, curling up on the pillows, purring quietly. Beck pulled out some spare pillows and blankets, tossing them in Kohen's direction. He was still wearing long-sleeves, still hiding the marks on his own arms. For a moment, his eyes snagged on Kohen's scars and he wondered what they were from, and then he turned away, sitting on the bed again.

He didn't ask about the scars. Because every time he spoke to Kohen, the other lashed out at him or grabbed at him or called him a fag and he wasn't going to deal with that again.

Kohen's expression turned dark. Why was he like this? He pondered over that question. Who knows. Maybe force was the only way he knew how to get what he wanted. If others feared him then it would much more easier for him. Kohen could slowly feel another crack of rejection split his heart. It ached. He hated it. Tears streamed down his face. He hated himself so much. You're weak! He could hear his father's voice in his head as he tried to stop the tears. He was a male- he couldn't cry. Only females who were weak cried. A small noise escaped him as clutched his chest. He wanted this to stop so bad.

There was only one way for the feeling to stop. He looked at Beck with anger, yet teary eyed. His face was a mess. He would force Beck down. It was the only way. It wouldn't fix the damage already done, but feeling dominance over someone else always gave him a rush of adrenaline. It made him happy. Not that Kohen knew what happiness was. "And why are you always so weak?" He asked as he walked over to where Beckham was, on the other side of the bed.
And before Beck could react Kohen grabbed his wrists and pinned him down on the bed. "What makes you think I need your help?! I can manage perfectly on my own!" He hissed. Kohen wanted to yell so bad at Beck, at anything, hell, at the air! But he knew everyone was asleep by now and making any noise to wake them would be troublesome.

(nice song! Not my style, but it's an interesting one)
(also I uhm…I feel like this is information you should know because otherwise you might not understand some of Beck's reactions…he was sexually abused by his birth father from the time he was about four to when he was taken and placed into the foster system, so…that's why he reacts to things like that the way he does)

Beck's eyes flashed wide as he was pinned, staring at Kohen with wide, frightened eyes. He could see that Kohen was crying and he didn't know what to do, because he was pinned to the bed and…and he'd been here before, he'd been pinned before and it never never ended well.

And then he was squirming, struggling against Kohen's hold. "Get off!" he exclaimed, trying to get his feet up and kicking at Kohen's stomach, pushing at him to try and get him away.

(ah, yes, i kinda figured that might be the case since abused victims tend to shield themselves more from others, but thanks for the info! also, would you like me to keep going (cause I think you know where this is going) or do you want me to just do something else 'cause even im getting a little uncomfy writing this part out)
(oh! also, since you made your boi, i had to make mine as well. here's the thingy: https://picrew.me/image_maker/41329/complete?cd=kf7D5rljUk
and also, i couldn't resist so i went and made this one too, with both of our bois: https://picrew.me/image_maker/165901/complete?cd=UNFOnjwdFF)