forum I'll critique some of your characters! (OPEN)

Started May 22, 2022 by @Jolyn

tune

Currently don't have much to do and we'll see how it goes!

If you want me to look at something specific please let me know and I'll do my best!

oh, worm? if you don't mind, could you take a look at Rhyda's profile? basically what I want to know is if her personality/backstory/motivations and stuff all line up accordingly, y'know? thank you so much!! :D

oh, worm? if you don't mind, could you take a look at Rhyda's profile? basically what I want to know is if her personality/backstory/motivations and stuff all line up accordingly, y'know? thank you so much!! :D

Ahhh i love her so much???? She's such a coolio character and there wasn't anything that didn't make sense I felt like everything lined up and I had a very clear image of her in my mind! My only thing is wondering if there is anything that would make her 'soft'? Like does she have a soft spot for animals or kids? Maybe she likes to read or watch cheesy movies? Or has a really small collection of something mundane? Unless that doesn't work for her for what you have in mind I think it would be something nice to explore. Apart from that I think she's perfect!

Hey I felt really sick when I wrote this guy up, so there's not hardly as much as I usually write, but I'm dying to see what someone thinks of him :)
Again, there's not a lot here, but there's enough to catch a vibe I think haha and it's all accurate to his character ^^

Hi! Could you please critique Nick? I revamped him recently and I'd like to get other's opinions!

hi! could you possibly critique my mechanic pal qili?

My bi disaster veteran child.

here's michael when you have time :)

oh, worm? if you don't mind, could you take a look at Rhyda's profile? basically what I want to know is if her personality/backstory/motivations and stuff all line up accordingly, y'know? thank you so much!! :D

where did you get your format! i need it like right now

akjdks I customized it to exactly what I want actually! anytime I need something new I rework the format a little bit but I've gotten it to the point where I don't really need to tweak it anymore skfhskks

its probably dead now but here's one of my characters

Can someone critque mine please? She is from bnha btw.

Name: Mochizuki Hikaru (Her given name is Hikaru. Most people cal her Mochizuki, her friends call her Mochi and her closest friends call her Hikaru
Age: 15
Quirk: Angel Glow
A combination of both her mother and father's quirks. Her mother's quirk is Angel Wings and she has large wings which she can use to fly. (Unlike Hawks, they stay attached to her body.) Her father's quirk, Glow, allows him to emit light from his skin due to his blood containing chemical's that glow (idk science-y stuff lol.) He can make the light brighter but that takes energy and the brighter the light, the more energy used. When trained enough, the glow can become blinding. Mochizuki's quirk is a combination of both of these quirks allowing her to emit light and have wings.
Hero name: Angel
Appearance: Immensely pale, like almost white skin which glows. 5'9"/175cm tall and kinda buff (she has massive wings on her back. We are needing those back muscles). White hair which goes halfway down her back. She has a pair of white wings which are rather large and she is a little self conscious of the size of them. She has grey eyes. She likes to wear clothes that cover her skin as she is also a little self conscious of her glow and being a nuisance to people. Plus she also doesn't want to accidentally blind someone. She tends to wear darker clothes so the glow doesn't shine through it.
Personality: Rather shy and closed off. She tends to think her quirk is a nuisance to other people due to its size and look and struggles to make friends. She has social anxiety, however she gets very concerned for other people's safety and wellbeing. She is a hard worker and tries her best with every task
Backstory: Mochizuki lived a relatively normal life, went to school, studied, but she never knew where she wanted to go in life. She always felt her quirk would make it difficult for her to find a good job. Then one day she was walking in the city and saw a thief steal an old lady's bag. she rushed to help but lacked the courage to chase after the thief. Then a flash of red swooped past her and she watched as a man with wings just like hers, but red, chase down the man and retrieve the bag. He returned it and when he saw Mochizuki he said 'Nice wing's kiddo. Just like mine.' Mochizuki learnt that he was Hawks, a hero. She became inspired by him and decided she wanted to become a hero and learn how to become courageous to fight villains and save people.
Also her next-door neighbor's son, Daichi (4), is her biggest supporter. He loves to hang out with her and go on mini joy rides when she flies. Daichi was quirkless for a while and it seemed he wouldn't get one but he finally did and it's called Mirror Realm. He is able to jump through mirrors and travel to a mirror realm. (Basically imagine the Upsidedown but instead of vines and darkness, make it greyscale and the only colour is from the mirrors which reflect the real world. Great quirk for spy work or to have him as a backup/rescuer if someone gets captured and they have a mirror on them.
Motivations: Wanting to become courageous and help people and overcome her social anxiety.
Strengths: Flight, she is very fast in the air and has learnt how to maneuver quickly and sharply in the air. Later during her schooling at UA, she learns how to focus her brightness onto one part of her body (like fingertip or palm) so she can create a super bright beam. Relatively strong and can carry a lot of weight.
Weaknesses: Horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE for night missons. she literally GLOWS
Sexuality: identified as lesbian at one point but then went through another identity crisis and just goes by queer.

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