forum Help me with my story
Started by @Lady_Loki
tune

people_alt 2 followers

Deleted user

lol I’m here, fair warning I’m not great, but I’m okay. I’m good at anything besides intros and opening things and I can’t do plot twists well.

@TheGoldenLegend

Hello, I can help. I've been writing for 5 years now and I can write opening lines and sup story's to the main one :) I also have tonssss of sub story plot we can add in and plot twists + editing.

@TheGoldenLegend

She's ok, I suppose. She's trying to come up with a project for her business class that involves all the class mates. Its suppose to be about something on Spain.

@Lady_Loki

Well my story is about a girl with powers and wings whose soulmate is Loki and she can control the infinity stones with out the infinity gauntlet.

Deleted user

And your character is kind of a…. Mary Sue…. not to be rude it’s not a bad thing I’m so sorry if I made you upset I’m just pointing it out I did it before as well so don’t feel bad I’m so sorry!

Deleted user

I’m not trying to offend you at all, I just want to push you in the right direction! Don’t worry I’ve made even worse characters, at least yours isn’t a very much Mary Sue, just seems a bit like one. I also like romances, so if you want me to help you can make a google doc even though I’m not the best and I haven’t wrote in story form for about a month.

Deleted user

Either then that it seems like an alright plot, I don’t really do already used plots even though I think I do those, but I try to make my plots as original as possible. Here’s a thing you could use to make your character a bit less over powered. List all of her powers and special abilities, I’ll quote it and see if I can make her still likeable and a good character without being an overpowered character, unless you don’t want me to… I would love to help you!

@Lady_Loki

Can control the elements and others things also.
She has a birth mark on the right shoulder blade that looks like a feather.
She was rescued by the avengers and they named her Lara.
Her real name is Isleen.
She has three weapons. A Recurve Bow, sword and a crossbow.

Deleted user

Can control the elements and others things also.
She has a birth mark on the right shoulder blade that looks like a feather.
She was rescued by the avengers and they named her Lara.
Her real name is Isleen.
She has three weapons. A Recurve Bow, sword and a crossbow.

Okay, I need everything that she can control, and what elements does she control? I need all of that to weaken her just enough o make her a good superhero that isn’t overpowered. Also three weapons? Try only one, if not that then two, try the Recurve Bow and maybe with the sword, what kind of sword is it anyways? If she’s so powerful why would she need rescued by the Avengers, well I guess she needed to meet them some how, but once she’s weaker it will make more since. What happened to her or her home land and other things like that. It’s really hard to fix someone if I don’t have a lot of details about the character, and the birthmark isn’t important to her character, it’s just an appearance feature.

@Lady_Loki

She can control the normal elements and metal.
She is from a really old race that has been gone for 100 years. She is from The Magic Nexus (Created by me.) Sh is the last of her kind.
She was kidnapped by Hydra and was experiment on by them and got more powers like mind reading, telekinesis, she got her wings from hydra.

Deleted user

She can control the normal elements and metal.
She is from a really old race that has been gone for 100 years. She is from The Magic Nexus (Created by me.) Sh is the last of her kind.
She was kidnapped by Hydra and was experiment on by them and got more powers like mind reading, telekinesis, she got her wings from hydra.

Okay so here’s a thing to remove. Let’s remove her ability to control normal elements. It’s okay to have her as the last of her race, but she seems special for no reason. Is there an important reason for why she is the last of her kind? Okay being kidnapped by Hydra actually sounds like something that they would do.

@Lady_Loki

The reason she is the last of her kind is because Thanos destroyed her home world but she was visiting another world when he did that.

Deleted user

She can control the normal elements and metal.
She is from a really old race that has been gone for 100 years. She is from The Magic Nexus (Created by me.) Sh is the last of her kind.
She was kidnapped by Hydra and was experiment on by them and got more powers like mind reading, telekinesis, she got her wings from hydra.

Okay so here’s a thing to remove. Let’s remove her ability to control normal elements. It’s okay to have her as the last of her race, but she seems special for no reason. Is there an important reason for why she is the last of her kind? Okay being kidnapped by Hydra actually sounds like something that they would do.

Also, I think the wings wouldn’t be grown in that way, maybe she already had the wings before? And with the infinity thing (I can’t spell it so…) try to remove that from her.

Deleted user

The reason she is the last of her kind is because Thanos destroyed her home world but she was visiting another world when he did that.

Hmm… how big is the planet? Is like earths size? Also they would say I don’t feel so good (XD).
Also she’s in the Thanos timeline? The one where he gets all the infinity stones? This sounds more like a Superman back story then a regular one… so when she came back was that when she was kidnapped by Hydra? I need to understand the character more… sorry this is so much, but it will pay off!

@Lady_Loki

Her planet is like the size of Mercury. No, she is not in that one she is in the one where he has control over Loki. When she went back to her home planet it was after she was kidnapped by hydra.