forum LGTBQ+ Question and Answer Session

Started November 21, 2018 by @CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa

tune

So basically, here you can ask questions about LGTBQ+ stuff, and get answers from LGTBQ+ people. Straight people can ask, so can others :)

Nice!

Coolio. I don't know what I am yet sexuality-wise, so I might ask some questions later, if that's okay.

Question for the non-binaries: How did you find out that you were NB?

I hand that off the the NB’s of the website I am an ace and sadly can not help.

Not a question or an answer, just some advice from past experience. Basically a personal PSA to all whom it may concern.

To: All people who have dysphoria and/or dysmorphia

If you are unable to shower, turn off the lights and cover any mirrors if need be. If you are unable to bathe and have no bubbles or bathbombs, also turn off the lights and cover any mirrors if need be. If it gets really bad, try to wrap an extra towel around yourself to cover any parts of your body that bother you and take a shower/bathe like that.

From: A genderfluid person who had to shower with the lights off and in a towel because its a male day today

I know these solutions sound a but weird, but they genuinely help me out when I'm having a major dysphoric or dysmorphic episode. If any of these are able to help just one of you or a friend of yours, I'd be glad.

I do that too, from a genderfluid who had to do that yesterday//

I'm genderfluid panromantic asexual, here to answer any questions that aren't homophobic or degrading!

Same here!
I'm genderfluid aro-ace!

For the genderfluid peeps, what gender do you go as? What gender were you born as? Who have you come out to?

(im not trying to be rude, if it comes across as that :)

I was born as a female and right now, my gender fluctuates. I tend to lean towards male and NB most of the time, but there are female days.

Another question: What do GF people mean by "male" or "female" days?

Well, some days we feel more masculine or feminine, or maybe we don't feel like either

Got it. So, (I have so many questions) do you go out as a male/female when you have that certain day? How do people react when they see you as a male one day and a female the next?

My gender depends on how I feel, and it usually fluctuates every few days, though sometimes they come in weeks or just mere moments. Some days, I am perfectly okay and fine with my femininity. Some days, I have to focus on my masculine traits to feel at ease in my body. Some days I feel neither attachment, just that I exist as a human being. And some days I feel both masculine and feminine at the same time and hoo boi do those days suck or what.

I am biologically a female. Sometimes this is fine, but sometimes I absolutely hate it. Sometimes I could care less.

I am out to a select few friends and my mother about being genderfluid. I am out to most everyone about being demi and pan.

Your next door friend the Ace-Pan with a plan!

Sup! I'm your friendly neighborhood asexual chick.

Bro!!!!

hello

Got it. So, (I have so many questions) do you go out as a male/female when you have that certain day? How do people react when they see you as a male one day and a female the next?

I'm not out to my family, I'm planning to do it at Christmas with my family in texas

For the genderfluid peeps, what gender do you go as? What gender were you born as? Who have you come out to?

(im not trying to be rude, if it comes across as that :)

I am closeted irl, so I always present as a girl. I was born a girl, and am female. I have come out to my parents, some cousins, my closest friends, and a therapist, and a few teachers.

Hi, I've had some amazing friends in the LGBTQ+ community so I'm trying to figure out the terms so I can have it shown in my world. I'm thinking of some things for a few characters but my friends are heterosexual or bi, and while they've helped me I still have some questions.

1. What's counts as trans? I've seen different explanations of it and would prefer to not offend anyone. Does it simply mean you identify as a gender you were not assigned at birth?
2. Do those that are agender simply go by they, let others refer to them by any pronoun, or does it vary?
3. What counts as demi and what counts as ace? I've heard both terms but also that ace is a spectrum, so I'm not sure if ace could be the same as demi for some.
4. The difference between polysexual and pan? I've come across explanations of poly recognizing other genders are out there but having some preferences with genders and such.

(Sorry if it's a lot of questions. I want to get my facts straight before I risk offending someone. I would hate to represent the community badly when I have friends that are a part of it.)

1. Trans is an umbrella term. I use it because no one really knows what genderfluid is.

So, ace is when you don't experience any sexual attraction at all (I know that for sure). Demi is when you only experience sexual attraction to those that you've gotten to know, but that doesn't mean that you're sexually attracted to all of your friends (I think)

Ace is where you don’t want a sexual relationship so like fluff not smut and most people use it as an umbrella term for Ace, some Aro etc. if I got something wrong please tell me!

Alrighty, I'll try to answer the best I can.
I identify as transgender genderfluid, because I identify as a gender not assigned at birth. So I'd say yes.
I'm not very familiar with agender, so I can't answer this one.
Demi is on the ace spectrum. Demi (romantic, or sexual) means that you get emotionally attached/get to know someone before feeling attracted to anyone. If you don't have that bond, there is no possibility of attraction.
Pan is the possibility of attraction to anyone despite gender, and poly is the possibility of attraction to more than one gender, but not all of them. While I am pan, I do have a preference for girls, though I could be attracted to anyone.

Ace is where you don’t want a sexual relationship so like fluff not smut and most people use it as an umbrella term for Ace, some Aro etc. if I got something wrong please tell me!

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction. It's a spectrum, So, some aces may want a sexual relationship, they just don't particularly lust for it.
Some aces may also not be comfortable with fluff, or physical affection (which is what I interpret 'fluff' as) while others may love being cuddly. I don't think ace should ever be used as an umbrella term for aro, because some aros may still feel sexual attraction, just like some aces still feel romantic attraction, as they aren't aro.

1. From what I understand, yes. Trans means you do not identify with your birth gender. So of course there are trans ftm and trans mtf, but there are also trans nb and others of the like.

2. (I honestly don't know this one either so I'm just gonna let someone more qualified answer this)

3. As a demisexual myself, I only experience sexual and romantic attraction once I become good or close friends with someone. I cannot ever have a one night stand or go on a blind date. Those things don't feel right to me (as in me doing them). Demisexuals like me require time, while asexuals don't for the most part.

4. Basically, from what I understand, the difference between polysexual and pansexual is exclusion. Polysexuals are like pansexuals, except that polysexuals don't feel attraction to (a) certain gender(s). So if one of your characters is poly, you're going to want to include who they're not attracted to (ex. Poly, not attracted to males).

I'm so glad you're so focused on representing the community correctly and to the best of your ability in your world. Thank you.

Wow, thanks for the quick response. Nearly all of my questions have already been answered! You guys answered so quickly. Other than on agender questions this really helped me, I didn't want to offend someone by going off what research says rather than the community. Thank you for answering my questions! :)

Thank you for asking! It's always nice to see people wanting to learn more about the community. Feel free to just ask away if you have any more questions.