forum Tell me your best joke!

Started February 25, 2018 by @hopelessromantic

tune

Great because I've got more up my sleeve

Speaking of sleeves… where did Alexander the great keep his armies? Up his sleevies! Yes I know it's lame…

what do you call a crocodile detective?

Investi-gater

i hate you

you ruined my joke

Well don't use a joke that people know

okay… :( ("_")

Light a man on fire, keep him warm for a day, set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett

I've never heard this one, but it's great. 10/10, would joke again.

stop doing the same jokes

Alright let's go:
"A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand in New York. The owner of the stand asks 'so what'll it be?' The monk responds with "Make me one with everything.'"
also,
"Welcome to Entropy Burgers. May I take your order?"

what's the difference between a crab with breast implants and a dirty bus stop? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station.

two dyslexics walk into a bra

(I'm bringing this back for no good reason!)
"I'm sorry, you aren't allowed in the auditorium."
"Why?"
"No snaccs allowed."

What do trumpet players and pirates have in common?
They both murder on the high Cs.

That is the best thing I think I've ever read

Pickup line:

Hey baby are you Little Ceasars? Cause you're hot, and I'm ready.

(I learned that at Christian summer camp, when the daily thing was "Who can do the best pickup line to your counselor? We were middle schoolers.)