Sequoia smiled, expression slightly bittersweet. She and Aniña were kissing and cuddling here just last night. Now she was an outsider. An interloper. And Aniña obviously didn't like her anymore. Why did that stupid poison have to mix up Aniña's brain? "I'll just… go now. Goodnight." She crept out the door and into her bedroom, flopping onto the bed and hitting her arm on the corner of a book. Great. She rubbed the stinging patch on her arm, shoved the offending book onto the floor, and burrowed under the covers.
“Yeah… night.” Aniña muttered as Sequoia left. She sighed and rubbed at her face before climbing under her covers. Something was wrong. Not with her, well part of it was her but between her and Sequoia. There was something she wasn’t being told and even though she wanted to know what it was, sleep was more important. Eventually, she drifted off into a light sleep.
Sequoia drifted off to sleep. It wasn't peaceful. Nightmares plagued her and she tossed and turned, occasionally whimpering or moaning in distress. Aniña and Sequoia were sitting in a field, chatting smiling, kissing. Suddenly nightstalkers burst in and Aniña got bitten. She fell, and she was bleeding, and Sequoia couldn't do anything. Couldn't even wake up.
Aniña woke up with a start, panting. Her arm hurt like a bitch and she needed some more pain killers. Reluctantly, she got out of bed and went to Sequoia's room, "S-Sequoia? Are you awake?" She knocked once and when there was still nothing she knocked again.
Sequoia whimpered again, struggling against the sheets she had rolled herself into. Real life was 1,000 miles away right now. Her visions of Aniña bleeding out in front of her as she failed to help were all consuming.
Aniña knew Sequoia would probably shout at her but she opened the door and ran to her side, "Sequoia? Wake up, it's just a dream…" She shook her shoulders to try and wake her up.
Sequoia came to quietly, noises getting softer and eyes fluttering open. Her stomach was tied up in knots and her chest was heaving. "Who? What…what's happening?" She hardly recognized that she was talking in her native language. Diplomat's Tongue got all messed up in her head unless she was concentrating, and she was definitely not concentrating right now. Who was touching her? Why? Where was Aniña?
"No, no you need to speak the Diplomat's Tongue for me please, I-I can't understand you…" Aniña shook her a little more, "Just breath Sequoia, breath." She tried her best to sound gentle and comforting but it wasn't something she was used to.
Sequoia finally opened her eyes when she heard Aniña talking. When she saw her wife, Sequoia's eyes warmed uncomfortably and she began bawling in relief. Aniña was alive. She was fine. There was nothing to worry about. Sequoia grabbed onto her shoulders, pulling herself into her wife's embrace. "Are… Are you… hurt- hurting? Okay?" Not the best she'd ever spoken, but it would do.
Aniña was a little taken aback by the hug but hugged back anyway, "I was a little sore, that's why I came to see you but clearly need more help then I do right now. Are you okay?" She asked, pulling back to inspect her for any signs of discomfort.
"I… will be okay. Are you?" Sequoia was still crying, fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. If Aniña was okay then Sequoia was okay. Once Sequoia could reassure herself that bad things wouldn't happen, everything would be okay again. Aniña was really warm.
"I'm fine, I don't think I need those pain killers anymore…" Aniña said, shrugging a shoulder, "What were you dreaming about? It must have been bad if it caused you to cry and have sleep paralysis?"
Oh fuck. Would Aniña get weirded out if Sequoia told her the truth? Would it make her suspicious? Eventually, she simply muttered "I can't remember. I just felt… scared. And I was holding someone, and they were bleeding and I couldn't help them…" Her voice had gotten raspy, so she cleared her voice and tried to speak more clearly. "… I loved them. And they were dying. And I was scared."
Aniña nodded, "You must have loved them very much if it caused you that much pain." She sighed and let go of Sequoia, "I should um… leave if you want me too." She rubbed at the back of her neck awkwardly.
No! No! Sequoia clutched harder at Aniña's shoulders, even as her wife let go. The connection was important. It kept Sequoia from drifting away into a haze of ear. She was calmer than she had been, but she knew- absolutely knew deep in her heart of hearts- that if Aniña left she would start breaking down again. "Please don't. Please."
"Okay okay, I won't." Aniña wrapped her arms around Sequoia again, "Do you want to try and go back to sleep again?" She asked quietly, hesitantly running a hand through her wife's hair. For some reason she didn't feel that awkward doing it.
Sequoia shook her head, subconsciously leaning into the hand running through her hair. What if she had another nightmare? It was obvious that having Aniña beside her wouldn't stop them from happening, even if they were more easily soothed. She wanted to lay on the bed, curled into a tiny ball with Aniña's strong arms around her. "Will you lay with me?"
Aniña opened her mouth to protest but she closed it and nodded, "Y-Yeah, sure." She carefully leaned back on the bed, arms still around Sequoia as she pulled her back with her gently. This felt… strange but right at the same time. Again she had the feeling of déjà vu.
Sequoia curled into Aniña, nuzzling into her neck with a faint hum. She was reminded of last night. Cuddling after a nightmare, being held and treated gently. The urge to kiss Aniña was strong, but Sequoia pushed it down. If Aniña hesitated to even cuddle with her, kisses were clearly off limits. She couldn't stop herself from wanting though. "Can you talk to me?"
"What do you want me to say?" Aniña asked, resisting the urge to pull away but something in her wanted this, like an old memory that she couldn't quite put her finger on, "Why do you want me to lay with you?"
"You feel safe. And warm. Very… bialhaya- what's the word? Vobrunt? Vibrant?" Sequoia shrugged. She wanted Aniña to love her again, especially right now. There was a barrier between them. Aniña couldn't remember anything and Sequoia had secrets now. Keeping secrets again was odd because she had done her best to be honest before. "And you can talk about anything. I just need to… hear a voice"
"Alright…" Aniña sighed and rolled onto her back, placing an arm around Sequoia and the other behind her head. She wracked her brain for something to say, anything to say, "Well… I never thought I'd get… married. I always thought that my father would use me for battle and such and never make me marry."
Aniña's warrior past was no secret to Sequoia, but it surprised her that Aniña had never thought she would be married. The knowledge that she was going to be marries had hug over Sequoia's head for as long as she could remember. It was weird to think that someone else like her, a princess with an ambitious father, didn't have the same worries. She snuggled into Aniña's side, curling up as far as she could.
Aniña stopped for a moment but pull Sequoia closer slightly, "So this marriage was a surprise to say the least. My brother tried to convince my father to stop the marriage, knowing how much I'm not a… people person. Yet even though my father… likes my brother more then me… he couldn't even stop it."
Sequoia hummed in apology. She'd like to press some kisses onto Aniña's frown but that wouldn't be appropriate. It might not ever be appropriate again. Those thoughts couldn't do her any good right now, so she pushed them out of her mind, focusing on what her wife had told her. Aniña had never even considered the possibility of marriage. Never. While Sequoia had been having dreams and nightmares about who she would marry for years.
Aniña sighed and rubbed at her face with her free hand, “Anyway… I guess this hasn’t been so bad. Apart from forgetting everything that’s happened so far…”
Well, at least Aniña didn't hate this. At the very least, Aniña wouldn't find staying the rest of her life with Sequoia completely repulsive. She was getting sleepy, and tiredness had always had a way of loosening her tongue. It was one of the reasons she didn't allow servants around her in the morning or at night. It wasn't a huge surprise to her when she asked, "Do you hate me?"
Aniña was silent for a while, trying to find the right words to say, “Well… no. I don’t. I did but… no. I keep getting feelings of déjà vu, like now but it feels… right somehow. Lying with you but… I can’t ever remember doing anything like this…”
Sequoia couldn't help but perk up, only to realize that would immediately make Aniña suspicious. Shit. Well, she'd made her dumb decision now. It was worth it to know that Aniña, on some level of her mind, remembered her. Remembered what had happened. She'd need to look up which part of the brain was responsible for déjà vu and figure out how to access it.
“You suddenly look happier, was it something I said or did or haven’t done yet?” Aniña asked, the tiniest smile blooming on her lips despite being thoroughly confused.
