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@basil_

This is really hard to write. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say but I want you guys to know this before you pounce on me with pity and love. I have so many things going on inside my head. The introvert part of me, and the extrovert. The one that doesn’t speak up and the one that loves sharing my opinions. The voices that tell me I’m not good enough or the ones that tell me I look amazing. The problem is I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know if I like girls or boys or if I’m male or female. I’m just so..complicated. So I’m sorry if one minute I’m really annoying and the next I’m the nicest person ever. I have random mood spikes in the middle of the day. It’s really hard to concentrate on school work most of the time. I don’t even..I just don’t know..I’m sorry. Sorry for this sorry for everything. But the one thing that is always a lingering thought in my head that never changes is maybe if I just died this would all go away becuase I feel like It’s the only constant in my life.

@Trix

That's true. But think about those voices. Which one makes you feel the most comfortable, happy, yourself? The feeling of jumping on your toes with an excited smile on your face, waiting for the 'I do', you'll never get that if you die. It's normal to not know, it's ok. I'm currently questioning my sexuality, as well, and the voices never end. But know that death is never a solution. Death just erases the equation in the first place.

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

It's OK to be and feel that way KMart… But which one makes you feel more you, down in your heart? You seem conflicted, but that's OK. So am I. I can't even decide between hurling couches at people and msking a difference in the world… So I know how you feel. But we love you no matter which voice is speaking through you! Believe it!

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

But don't you EVER think for a second that dying is better than this. Because it isn't. Don't think that way. Because I won't be able to live with myself if I let you go through with any of that nonsense…

@basil_

death is inevitable

if I don't have you guys I don't have anyone
and that scares me so much. I'm so scared of being alone and everyday it feels like i'm drifting further and further away from anyone who would understand.

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

death is inevitable

if I don't have you guys I don't have anyone
and that scares me so much. I'm so scared of being alone and everyday it feels like i'm drifting further and further away from anyone who would understand.

You'll never be without us, and especially without me darling… Keep pushing. I commend your fortitude.for getting this far.

Deleted user

We're going to stay with you til the end Kmart.

i wish it would come sooner

No. I wont let it.

@basil_

i've given up on everything
i don't believe in god anymore
i don't believe in myself
i'm afraid my family will hate me if i'm not catholic anymore. i'm afraid they'll act like they're happy for me if I come out but on the inside they hate me. i'm afraid to tell my friends any of this.
i'm afraid to kill myself
which is the only thing keeping me alive right now

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

i've given up on everything
i don't believe in god anymore
i don't believe in myself
i'm afraid my family will hate me if i'm not catholic anymore. i'm afraid they'll act like they're happy for me if I come out but on the inside they hate me. i'm afraid to tell my friends any of this.
i'm afraid to kill myself
which is the only thing keeping me alive right now

You may hsve given up on everything, but I'm gonna try my hardest to restore your faith.
I'll be here to help you believe in yourself.
That's OK to feel that way about their reaction.
Don't kill yourself… Stay strong for us.
I'll try my best to keep you from sinking. I love you KMart. We love you!!!

@Shuri-the-Floof-Doggo

It's like this…

Find a way to keep going, even if it's for one more minute. If you can do that, you can manage for another, and another. If you can manage three, you can manage three more, if you can manage six, you can manage twelve, and twenty four, and forty eight, and an hour, and two hours, and twenty four hours, then two days, then a week. A month, two, three, six, a year. Five years, ten, fifty, and all the way up until you're old, and wise. You can do this. I believe in EVERY THING YOU DO!!!
You can!
You have the strength of will to keep going within you, and I'm positive you can outgrow this. You can beat this KMart! We will support you every step of the way! With every single fiber of our collective beings!

So keep pushing. For us.

STay strong KMart. And if you can't do it on your own… I'll help you. I promise I'll try my best to hurl you up when you feel good, and cushion you when you fall. No matter what.

@ravens

we love you whole heartedly. i love you wholeheartedly. Please don't kill yourself! Or any other kind of self-harm, for that matter. Suicide won't make anything better. Instead it'll just devastate us. You might think no one cares about you, but that's not true.

@ElderGod-Winter-The-Renegade-Legionnaire book

I agree with what everyone said. Now, I have to go… My mom is angry at me for something… I'm just going to get fussed out again, grounded again, and then yelled at some more. Everything's peachy… Goodnight all. I'll let you know how it was tomorrow. Plus, if it hits me hard enough, I won't sleep…So maybe I can get through this… Or hopefully my emotions take over and I break. That'll be fun…