She lets herself be unvieled, her breath shaking, her heart racing as she looks at Elowan. She smiles a little before seeing the loathing in the others eyes, making her gaze turn to the floor. She bites her lip, taking a deep breath as she brushes some navy blue hair from her face, trying her hardest not to cry. Why was it that Elowan hated her?
Slowly, she repeats the line she is supposed to say, her voice trembling as she tried her hardest not to cry. She takes a slow and gentle breath, wincing when she indeed could hear the venom and hatred in her future wife's voice. She just wanted this ceremony to be over with. She takes a trembling breath, trying so hard not to cry. She would never be loved by her future company.
She lets those words hang there, and it was done. She was no longer free, no longer allowed to be the person she wanted to be. And she was marrying a person who hated her.
The priest nodded solemnly, clasping his hands and staring between Elowan and Crystal's head. "As it is said, it shall be done. Let this wedding be ended in joy. You may now kiss the bride." He nodded towards them, face expressionless. He had no idea what was going on.
Elowan leaned forward, placing her hands on Crystals shoulders perhaps a bit too heavily. Elowan couldn't bring herself to care. She leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto Crystal's lips and then pulling away as if the woman had burnt her. They were to consummate the marriage in a few hours and Elowan was already hating the way her skin felt against Crystal's. She couldn't do this.
Crystal's breath hitched when her eyes go towards Elowans beautiful eyes. Those eyes. The eyes that had captivated her from afar. She had to admit the other was stunningly and breathtakingly beautiful. He had no idea what torture she was going through as she stared at the woman in front of her.
When Elowan leaned forward, her breath hitched. As much as she didn't want to enjoy the fast and chaste kiss, she did any ways. That fact pained her because the woman in front of her pulled away, a look of what seemed to be angered emotions ran through her orbs. Crystal wanted to cry. She fe;t shunned by her newly wed wife, and unwanted, which she probably was. Where Elowan had touched her it felt as if she was being burned by the others fury.
The priest joined their hands and led them off to a separate room where they were supposed to have their first conversation after the marriage. They would stay in here for half an hour, then move to the baths, and then consummate the marriage. The only solace Elowan could find was that she wouldn't lose her virginity to this woman, a fact her parents would surely punish her for if they knew.
"Hello, Wife," Elowan hissed, sitting down on one of the plush couches scattered throughout the room. "Are you happy? Are you excited?" Her voice was absolutely dripping with poison now that there was no audience to watch them. Her dreams were dead now. All she could do was pass pain onto her wife.
(I'm sorry Crystal, Elowan's kind of sucky right now)
She let her hand hang loosely in her wife's hand, her eyes shut as she tried to breathe. She couldn't. She couldn't breathe past the lump in her throat. She was afraid that the other would hear the breaking of her heart. Her first love and her love hated her. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be there. She hung her head in shame, biting her lip, trying not to cry. Maybe she could live with this. Maybe. Altough, she doubted she could.
Once they were alone, she settled down in a chair, her slender hands folded across her lap neatly. The vemon in her newly weds voice made her shrink and a silent tear flowed down her cheek. "Why do you hate me?" Where her first words. She didn't understand. She had never done anything against Elowan and the female hated her. She couldn't understand what made the female loathe her. She rubs her arms, looking away. "I never did anything and yet you despise me. What did I do?" Her voice cracks, another tear falling. She didn't understand.
Elowan snarled. The twinge of pity she felt at Crystal's tears was drowned by a tide of unrelenting rage. "You are the end of everything I've ever wanted! You are all of my dreams being carefully shredded! My home being torn out of my hands!" She shouted. Princesses were little more than gifts in her country. Objects to be traded so alliances could be solidified. She was becoming a glorified trophy wife. Hell, she was the wife now. Bye-bye ambition, hello years of being trapped.
She jumped to her feet, screaming as she kicked over the sofa. All she'd ever wanted to do was fight. She yearned to tear and burn and break, and now she would be sealed away in a kingdom she'd never stepped foot in. She was born to be a soldier, not a noble.
"Don't you fucking get it? I'm being given to you like a present! I'm trapped with you. You are my god damned ball and chain! How can I love my own personal hell!?"
She felt her heart break. Any hope of love was diminished as she sat there, watching the other rage with tear filled eyes and a hurting heart. She wasn't the only one, seeing their dreams be crushed, their hopes shredded, their heart torn to pieces. She could only go home because of her duty. In her land, women were treated with the highest respect, almost more than the men were. She doubted that her newly wed would even try to listen to her. So she stayed silent as the other throws her fit of rage. Her head was bowed, her eyes down. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. She was more of a balanced mixed between a lover and a fighter, and seeing this made her loving side want to hide. She hated that she was not loved. Crystal stifles a sob with her hand. She didn't want this either. but she was doing this for her people. She was married to a woman who didn't want her. Who didn't want anything to do with her. She bites her lip. "I'm sorry I can't make you happy." She whispers, her voice broken and torn. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you." Tears flow from her shut eyes, her indigo orbs hidden from the world.
Elowan kicked over the chair Crystal wasn't sitting in, stomping it into pieces with her stupid high heels. She punched the wall, over and over until her hands were bleeding. She'd always felt better with blood on her hands. She didn't feel much better now.
"Shut up. Shut up!" She yelled, leaning her head against the wall. "Just shut up and leave me alone!" She kept her hands off her dress. There was no way her parents would let her ruin her dress without punishment. She wondered if Crystal would hate the scars down her back as much as she did. She wondered if they would disgust Crystal. She hoped they would.
She sobs into her hand. She was beyond terrified. She didn't dare move in fear of getting hurt. She was so scared. Crystal silently cried, not willing to say anything as the other bloodied her fists, yelling and screaming. She didn't know what to do. What to say. Should she move? Should she stay put? Her mind was racing a million miles per second, her eyes shut as she trembled with fear. She cried out slightly when she felt a piece of something hit her side and arm. She shuts her eyes, not willing to look around the destroyed room. She just kept her gaze to the floor, her eyes tightly shut.
She sank to the floor, ripping pins from her hair until it fell down her back in a curly wave. Her knuckles bleed freely onto the floor. Her parents were going to kill her. At least, if her wife didn't do it first. She'd prefer it to be her parents. It wouldn't be quick, but at least she knew them.
And because she knew them, she knew they would leave her to her new wife. At least she could gain some power with Crystal, if only through intimidation. Maybe she could stave off some beatings with enough screaming fits and tantrums. Maybe she could be free for once in her life if she bullied her wife into submission. She choked back a sob then.
Would she really resort to becoming her parents just to get some measure of power? Would she fall so low? She looked at Crystal, without all the prejudices against her. Just looked at her as a person and saw a scared girl who thought she would be hurt by the woman raging beside her. She choked back a sob, slamming her head into the wall with a muffled thump.
Crystal saw her, saw her pain, her rage, her anger. She knew she didn't have a chance but she would have to try at least. Slowly, she kneels down in front of the other, her trembling hands taking Elowan's bloodied hands gently into her own. "Are you okay…?" She whispers, the concern evident in her eyes, in her voice, in he movements. With a tearing sound she had ripped some fabric from her wedding dress, underneath so the outside appeared normal. She gently dabs at her hands, clearing away the blood. She takes a shuddering breath, her eyes focused only on the blood and the cloth.
Elowan winced when Crystal ripped the fabric of her dress. If Elowan dared to do that, she wouldn't be able to walk for days. She wondered what it would be like to live without that kind of threat hanging over her head and then discarded the fantasy when Crystal began dabbing her knuckles. She pulled her hand away with a snarl.
"Don't you touch me!" She snarled, yanking her hand up and out of Crystal's grip. She winced when she realized what she'd done. She was only scaring her wife even more. She mumbled a quiet apology, hesitantly setting her hands back in Crystals grip. There was less of a chance that she'd bleed on her dress if her knuckles were bandaged.
Crystal winces away when she yelled, taking a deep breath before looking down in surprise as Elowan placed her hands back in her grip. She looks at the female and smiles shakily before looking back down at her hand, gently dabbing away the blood. Slowly she wrapped it along her knuckles, pressing soft kisses to each knuckle. Her lips were soft and gentle. She slowly pulls away, offering a tiny smile.
When Crystal kissed her knuckles, Elowan stiffened. The kisses were gentle. Kind. Her skin crawled in revulsion at the touch. She set them in her lap, feeling empty. She couldn't hate Crystal. She couldn't love her either. She couldn't do much of anything. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she couldn't even stop them.
Without hate, she had nothing. If she couldn't hate her wife, then she was stuck in a marriage as a trophy with no real footing. It would be so much easier to hate and rage than to accept. The tears spilled down her face freely. "Just don't touch me," she whimpered, sliding a freshly bandaged hand over her face as if to hide it. "Just don't fucking touch me."
Crystal pulled away, her indigo eyes filled with concern. She could see revulsion in Elowan's eyes. She bites her lip and pulls her hands away. She felt her heart ripping in two. Is that what was going to happen to her this entire relationship? Feeling a bit better before her wife tore her down again? She saw the tears and she became confused.
When the other spoke, her heart broke. She stood and dusted herself off, her eyes broken and the hurt was obvious as it radiated off the small female. She takes a deep breath before looking down at the other before slowly starting to clean up the disaster they called a room. Her hands trembled, her lips quivered. Her eyes filled and emptied before refilling with tears. She gulps back broken sobs, not willing to cry any more.
Elowan took in a shaky breath, wincing when she heard someone knock on the door. "We'll be out in a second!" She called, pleased that her voice was clear and there was no evidence of her sorrow in her voice. She rose to her feet, grabbing Crystal harshly by the arm and pulling her close to the door. She then knelt before her wife and fixed her skirts so they showed no evidence that they had been torn.
A few seconds later she rose to her feet. "We're going to the baths now. Pretend you weren't crying." Her tone was far gruffer that it had any right to be. She kept her hands clasped behind her back so the servant wouldn't see. All Crystal needed to do was follow said servant out the door and into the bathhouse. The bathhouse where Crystal would see her scars. That would go over well. At least Crystal wouldn't touch her again.
When Crystal heard the knock she froze before wiping away her tears. She yelps with both surprise and pain when her arm is grabbed harshly by her wife. Her eyes are pain filled and terrified as she watched Elowan fix her dress.
She didn't want to go to the baths. She didn't want to go anywhere. She just wanted to find somewhere quiet and cry. She didn't want to be in this situation. She knew the relationship wasn't going to end well. She was going to become an emotional wreck. A train that had been unrailed from it's origional path and was sitting there on the side of the road. She wipes away her tears obediently, nervous that she was going to be punished.
Elowan winced when Crystal yelped in pain. What was she made of, glass? Elowan had never met a woman so fragile. The servant cleared his throat from outside the door and Elowan pushed it open from behind Crystal, pushing her bride forward and closing the door before he could catch a glimpse of destruction inside.
The servant led them dutifully to the bathhouse, unquestioning of the downtrodden look in Elowan's eye. He left them in the changing room, pointing out the bottles of scented oils and the bell where they could ring for servants if they needed them. Elowan dismissed him with a curt nod.
Once he was gone, she let out a sigh of relief. The changing room where they found themselves was warm, which meant the bath would be heated. That was good. Heated baths were good for bruises. "Would you like any scented oils?" Elowan asked, unbuttoning the cuffs of her sleeves in a practiced manor. Although she hated putting on dresses she was quite skilled at taking them off.
(I LIVE!!! Sorry, I fell asleep.)
Crystal was somewhat fragile, but it was only because of her somewhat malnourished state and her wife had grabbed a bruise from when she fell off her horse during training. Crystal starts when she's pushed out into the hallway and takes a deep breath and hums softly as she looks around and follows after the servant.
She had already shed her dress and was wrapped in a towel when the other spoke to her. She looks up and offers a faint smile. "L-lavender, please…" She says softly. She takes a deep breath before looking at the warm water. Being near or in water always soothed her nerves. She hums softly looking at the water before slowly dipping a hand in and sighing quietly as she does so.
(All good!)
Elowan stripped off her dress, picking up the bottle of lavender oil for Crystal and a small basket of rose petals for herself. She left the dress crumpled on the floor and walked over to the pool, careful to keep only her front facing Crystal. As much as she wanted to horrify the girl, she was… self-conscious. She knew most members of the nobility didn't have thick white cords of scar tissue running down their backs.
She slowly knelt down, letting the lavender oil dribble out into the bath and then tossing n a few handfuls of her rose petals. They sank into the water like blood drops. She pulled the makeshift bandages off her hands and sunk them quickly into the bath, wincing when the blazing water stung her cuts. She let out a hissing breath and kept them under the water until the pain receded.
Crystal watched, fumbling with the end of her towel. Once she watched the other sink into the water, she hesitated. Slowly, she walked to the opposite end of the pool and slowly stepped into the warm water, making sure to keep her distance, since her new wife obviously hated her. She takes a deep and relaxed breath, smiling a little at the other before looking down into the water, her slender hands settling at her sides.
After a few seconds, Elowan slid her whole body into the water. She placed a hand over her breasts, wishing she had thought to bring in a towel but too lazy to leave the water and grab it. There were overly fancy soap and shampoos sitting on the sill of the bath. She grabbed a bar of soap and lathered it up in her hands, carefully rubbing it over her shoulders.
The silence was kind of stifling but she didn't want to talk. Even though she had gotten out most of her anger, she still resented the marriage and by extension, her wife. She stiffly gestured towards the soaps, as if to say 'take one if you need it' and then actually said "We have 25 minutes in here. Savor it."
She kept her gaze on the water, her hand catching a petal. She runs her thumb over the velvet like petal. She looks up when the other spoke and nods, taking a deep breath. Crystal slowly took a shampoo into her hands, some sort of tropical smell to the pomegranate colored liquid. Slowly she wets her hair, washing it and her body. Her hands were still slightly shaking. She could still sense the seething anger of her wife, so she stayed quiet, not wanting to anger her.
After washing everything she could cover, Elowan reached for her back with a frown. There was a bruise on her shoulder that kept her from reaching all the way back, so with an annoyed groan, she turned to her wife. She may as well get used to another person touching her. They were going to consummate the marriage in, oh, 20 minutes or so.
"Wash my back," She demanded, softening the order with a questioning "Please?" She held the soap out with what she hoped was a placating look on her face. She probably didn't look too gentle. Her father had told her once when she was far younger, that she was carved from stone.
He had followed up with, "You'd make a good soldier, if only you weren't a girl". She found herself wishing more than ever that she weren't a girl. If she were a boy, she would probably be a general by now. She wouldn't be stuck in this fucking marriage with a wife who was scared of her, about to move to a country she'd never stepped foot in.
Crystal looked up before blinking a few times. Slowly, she takes the soap and smiles a little, nodding. She takes a deep breath before slowly trailing her hands along Elowan's back. She didn't mind the scars, or bruises. In fact, they saddened her. She carefully washes her wifes back, not wanting to anger the other at all. Once done she asks softly. "C-could you help me as well?" She whispers. She knew Elowan would see the diagonal scar running down her back, the one she got from her first battle, but she didn't mind.
Elowan snatched away the soap, uneasy with the gentle car she had been shown. Her scars were revolting. They had made men and women alike run from her bed with disgust. Crystal seemed sad. Wistful. It was strange. Was her wife trying to get on her good side? Was this some odd attempt at friendship? Elowan disregarded it entirely, trying to ignore the whole incident.
"Turn around," Elowan said, voice a bit rougher than she intended. She could handle pain just fine but apparently, when it came to kindness, she was blown away. She pushed those thoughts out of her head too, lathering up the soap in her hands.
She nods and slowly turns around. Scars littered her fair skin, but her body wasn't tense. She was proud of these scars. The scars she had received for fighting in battles. Medals meant nothing to her. She could steal those and say she had done something. But scars? Scars were the real deal. She hums softly under her breath, allowing Elowan to do as she pleased. She takes a deep breath, trying to relax. She would be returning home soon.
(Gtg, dinner. I'll be back in half an hour or so)
