forum Let's change it up - First Crush?

Started January 29, 2018 by @Masterkey

tune

theres this kid named colin at my school and i joined the school in third grade and he had a crush on me and i was in third grade so I was like ummmmmm idk how to react to this. Then in fourth grade people were kind of like teasy and stuff and I was like 100% done with everybody. Then in fifth grade we kind of grew apart and then at the end of sixth grade I think he was kind of into me. And this year hes kind of like flirty and I kind of get mad when he like laughs with other girls which is kind of bitchy, i know but we are kind of friends. My friend jasmine ships us really hard and im terrible at this kind of stuff.

Frick, I don't even know. Every time I get a new kid in my class I think I start to like them, but In the end I realize that I just wanted to get to know them and be their friend so idk if I've ever even had a crush lol.

Well, I'm going through my first big crush right now.
So, last summer at Fixing It For Christ, my youth group was working on my neighbor's house. I was a first year so I was shy as shit. During this stage of my life, I liked puns.
So, I was getting on top of the roof to re-shingle it with everyone else. I was having trouble carrying my water bottle up. And Gavin came up behind me and offered to hold my water bottle for me.
I wasn't strangers to him, I knew his family but, I've never talked with him. (Because I'm so shy.) And I had a small crush on his smaller brother.
Welp, I fell for him. Really bad!
(He's a dark ginger with glasses and freckles all over him. Extremely dark eyes, dimples. Cutest thing I've ever seen other than cats.)

My Dad is the Awana leader at my church and his Dad is a volunteer and well known to the church. Well, a few weeks ago the youth group went on a hike. Being the weeb I am I wore my Stranger Things 11 hoodie. During our snack break on the trail, I was eating jerky and his Dad goes, "Enjoying your jerky Ms.Eleven." I didn't know how to respond I just nodded.
Somehow that conversation turned into. "If you know the reference on my hoodie, you know the show."
And in stereo, I heard "Stranger things?!" And I learned that Gavin watches it.

I've been called Eleven by Gavin's dad ever since.

He knows I write and he's constantly asking if he can be in my story. He treats me like his kid, it's so weird.

And I pray to God that Gavin does not see this.
Because if he does,
I'm going to DIE.

I'm a very realistic and pessimistic person. I know there's a small chance that he'd ever like me back. I'm willing to let him live the life he wants. If I do confess and he rejects then that's his choice, it's his life.
If he were to accept, then great. If he were to leave me for another girl, then I'd let him go. I won't cling to him.

I feel weird having these complex feelings, fantasizing one moment then making the worst scenario in my head. Recently, I've been thinking once sentence over and over. "I don't deserve you."

I wonder sometimes if he really is the Mike to my Eleven or vice-versa.

lol my first crush was this boy who lived across the street from me, and it was like SUPER BIG. I had a crush on him for soo long! It was pretty bad lol. After a while, it started to get weird because i started thinking of him more as a brother, and less as a crush. (He's not my actual brother dont worry lol.) Now we are super good friends and a ton of people ship us and it honestly makes me so uncomfortable bc he's sorta like my brother and it's weird haha. Now I have like 1 crush, but its never gonna happen lolol. ;)

These are all great XD

And I know Meadow, I was gambling about whether or not to post mine… but the website is fairly new, and probably none of my friends are on it, so I was like "what the heck."

@Masterkey
Lol. I really don't know anyone else who writes and my friend who does doesn't even have a computer and she already knows. But, there's always THAT ONE CHANCE.

ikr, and that chance still stands until this thread gets buried deep :P

nods

And if there were to be someone else with the name "Gavin" reading this, they'd be so confused.
Wait, YOU made this thread! Wow, you knew the risks and you took it to hear people's funny and depressing crush stories.
YOU GO GIRL.

So… first crush. It took me until recently to realize that I had even ever had a crush, but it happened about three years ago. I was in seventh grade, and there was this boy in my choir class. The entire class "shipped" us, especially the eighth graders. The whole thing was really awkward and basically a mess.
I suppose we would have been cute together, the short little midgets we were. We always fought, and the older kids thought of us as an old married couple. He was always joking around, and I always laughed, but I would yell at him a lot too. I never really realized I had a crush on him, and never found out if he had one on me, although I don't think he did. Looking back it's a really cute story.
Or it would be, had he not started dating one of the sixth graders on the bus ride home from our field trip. Now I know why that hurt so much.
So based on that, I'm pretty sure he didn't like me, even if the whole choir thought he did.
(And if you think that's bad, my current crush is in love with one of my friends.)

My first crush was also from Sunday School…

Okay, so there was this lanky short dude. His sister was considered the "cool/pretty/awesome" girl of the church. He was nerdy and stuff. Idk, why I even liked him! He was bland and had no personality, but my younger sister and I had a "crush" on him. We'd giggle EVERY. TIME. HE WAS NEAR! So so so so stupid. We also fought over him…ew.
That was my first "crush".
Now that I think about it, I don't believe I actually liked him. I was crushing on the idea of liking a boy, not the actual boy himself ha ha ha. I didn't even bet butterflies!! I'm so mortified at myself.

Okay, this is my actual first crush.
His name is Isaac. Lol, my name is Rebecca so I thought, "Oh! Isaac and Rebecca! Just like in the Bible and SHOCKER! we're meant to be!" (rolls eyes at stupid child self.)
This was also at Awana. (!! @MeadowOfSilence !! Woah!! What on earth??)
He was the popular kid along with these other few people. He was really cute (then! Now, not so much.) and he dressed nice, and was always "good". I had a HUGE crush on him! I had butterflies and all that stuff! Every girl had a crush on him and he knew that. There was an incident where I was introduced to these popular kids and I didn't say anything other than my name.
Needless to say, I was very awkward and shy. Ugh, I bet he knew that I liked him! I used every chance to be near him and look at him. I slowly saw that he wasn't that amazing and got over him. Nothing hurt so it was chill.

Awana buddies!

Meadow HAhahaha thanks XD

@AllyM I've always wondered what it would be like to have a crush but not realize it… I was always the kid who mistook just liking a certain quality in a person for a full-on crush. :P

Rebecca, yeah, usually the shy kids you would THINK wouldn't give away their crushes and the confident ones would, but for some reason it seems like the other way around!

First male crush: Poe Dameron
First woman I found super pretty: Maria Reynolds (Jazzy Jones’s portrayal
First female crush: Rey
Current crushes: John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton, Kelly Marie Tran, Rey, Peggy Schuyler, Carswell Thorne, Cress Darnel, Winter Hayle-Blackburn, Scarlet Benoit, Linh Cinder and Jacin Clay.

@Masterkey It's pretty weird, actually. But I know what you mean by thinking you have a crush. That's happened to me a couple times, but I've realized it wasn't real within the week. I don't know how, but I just seemed to know.

@@jynandor MOOD

I'm going to do my first I guess REAL crush- and current- cause the other ones are kinda boring…
She's a grade above me but in my math class (cause I'm special like that lol). She- well, where do I start? First of all, she has this beautiful hair like wow I really want to braid it! Her eyes are really pretty too…She's amazing at art and poetry (and lets me see it!) She's in a lot of my fandoms, which is cool. She plays flute and piano really well. She is really kind and open-minded and asdfghjkl just really awesome in general!
Uhh well let's see…I met her at the start of this school year. She sat at my table and we're kind of friends now I guess?? I've been smitten with her for months but never let on because I know who she has a crush on…yup!

@insertpunhere You reminded me of this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TAJwGniuUs

@isabel Oh wow that song is amazing and it does fit!

Well, I guess I could say that I have had several… small crushes? Yeah, I guess you could call them that. But I have had a couple of big crushes and sad stories I could talk about.

So I was in the 6th grade, I think, and we were having a Model United Nations on my school (you guys have/had those too right? 0.o). The point being, we were having a bunch of schools come over, and, well, I didn't really know a lot of people from other schools back then. So the delegates (students) start coming in right? And we are told to move over to the auditorium (everyone was on the patio at the entrance of the school). Then, I see a small group of girls who look incredibly confused and I think: "Hey, I should probably help them find their way around the school grounds." So I go and we start walking over to the auditorium and everything and I start talking with one of the girls that was a little farther behind. We found that we had a BUNCH of things in common, we kept on talking and talking about so many different fandoms and everything. So the MUN ends and we exchange contacts. An it all kinda went downhill from there.

We kept texting and texting, and talking on the phone too. And I eventually fell in love. One day I told her, but I already knew what she was going to say. We were what, 12 and lived each on completely different sides of the city, went to different schools. And she did say no. But she did say she liked me back. She said no because it was going to be hard, which I understand. I honestly don't know why it hit me so hard. I'm used to having crushes on gals completely out of my league. I was really rude the next couple of days. That's probably one of the things I most regret in my life. That was around a September, and it was until New Year's Eve on that year that we could make things right. We still talk 'n all, but it's not the same, you know? And we're talking about meeting each other again sometime soon (I haven't seen her since then).

This turned out longer than expected. Sorry if I ranted a little bit too much. Thank you for reading! Can't wait to hear some of your other stories! ^w^

Also, I have to say, it feels extremely good and healthy to get that out of my chest. I haven't really been able to talk to anyone that much about these kinds of stuff. Thank you everyone!

Thanks for sharing, I feel like your regret with your crush was one of my big regrets, too. I overreacted over something he did (just because he was "mean" doesn't mean that I should be mean), and then we weren't as close anymore. I was stupid. The whole "hard to get" thing is a lie that I kind of bought into when I did it.

my first actual crush happened like this
I met her in 6th grade and we became really close, and in the summer before 8th grade, while we were at summer camp at Oak Island, i asked her out. she apparently had liked me since she saw me so she said yes. i shared my first kiss as well as my first ^cough cough^ with her.
we dated all 8th grade year until i announced that i was gay and we broke up after a really nasty fight. that year at summer camp though we patched things up and became friends again. we had a few awkward moments alone on the beach after nightfall where we both knew what we wanted but couldn't quite get it, and i remember talking to her about this the whole 3-hour free time we had, just pacing along the tide line.
this year we grew apart a bit and started seeing other people, but recently she got in a really bad accident and i got in a really bad legal battle, and that sorta brought us together again as close friends. and i know it sounds messed up but even though i'm dating someone, she still looks beautiful and i cant get her off my mind. (umm any advice while i'm here? :P)

First crush? Oh this is a good one… My first crush was actually a boy at my Church. We skipped Sunday school class together when we were 9 I think and we walked around on the trail that's in the woods behind our church. I later found out that he also had a crush on me but it was too late because I started going to a different church. R.I.P My life.

I'm not used to sharing stories like these on the internet due to crippling paranoia that someone I know in real life would find it, but since I'm under a pseudonym here, I suppose it's safe. It's not as interesting as the other ones above, though, your stories are all so fun to read!

I met him in 4th grade. He was short, lanky, sweet, and funny, with dark hair and bright eyes. He was very cute too. He's good at taekwondo, and he has a strange sense of humor. Now, I played truth or dare with a few of my friends back then, and so the secret was out. Even though my friends pinky swore to not tell anyone, someone obviously did because eventually, the whole class knew about it, and he did too. It was awkward. Terribly so. Every time we talked in the school, there would be a chorus of 'awwwww' and 'she likes hiiiim'. God, that was awful. But he didn't seem to treat me any differently, and I never had the courage to confess or ask him out, so we never really went anywhere.

I was over him by the time I reached 6th grade, though, looking back at that time, I have a sneaking suspicion that he actually started crushing on me then. I'd get texts from him every day, he seemed awfully jumpy and stuttered a lot whenever we talked, even talked about me to his friends a lot. But me, back then, (other than already moving on from him) was an oblivious little shit and didn't notice any of this. Actually, I just noticed this after one of my friends said they always thought he had a crush on me in 6th grade, so I suppose I'm still an oblivious little shit.

We remain friends to this day, though. Not close, but friendly enough to greet each other every morning, talk whenever given the chance and have a few inside jokes between us, and to be honest? I think I'd rather stay friends with him.

@itsnamira Defenitely, on that last point. It's good that you're still friends, and that it's not really awkward. I have this other friend who I had a little something going on with for a while, but nothing really happened. I kinda just dropped it, because she was honestly really standoffish and rude to other people. It's now a little bit awkward talking to her, which I have to do often because one of my best friends is a close friend of hers (which is funny because she rejected that friend about 3 times lol)

My first crush was this person who's family was a really good friends with mine so like, I had a crush on him since I was seven. So we did exchange a few 'hello's but not much progressed and I continued to like him more and more. After eight years of liking him I had enough courage to text him and he texted me back that he liked me too since we'd first met. But then a lot of drama happened and we stopped talking all together. To this day we often see each other but we don't talk.

Oakie, All I can say is, if I was in a similar situation, I would probably seriously think about who I was actually interested in. If I was too confused, I'd probably break up with my current partner and say I needed time to think about things on my own. So, even if you don't break up, take a break, get into a quiet room by yourself, and really think about it. Take a couple of days or weeks. This is just me, but I don't become anyone's girlfriend without it being serious and dedicated, with the possibility of it leading to marriage. I feel like thinking about dating in those terms helps me. So if you seriously think that way about one of the two people you mentioned, stick with them! You're gonna see a lot of pretty girls in the future, but you need to stay faithful to the one you said you'd be faithful to, you know? Otherwise you should break up with them. If you don't feel that way about either of them, then I dunno man. That would be dating for the sake of dating.

Also, the rest of your stories were good, too :P

My first “crush” was in 1st grade. I don’t know why. It was really awkward too. I don’t even know where he is now. I bought into a lot of the romantic subplots of the TV shows that I watched when I was younger. I guess that 1st Grade me thought I needed a crush. It died out pretty quickly.

My first actual crush has gone on for a long time (it took a long time for me to notice it too). It’s someone that I genuinely care about this time. He’s one of my two best friends, and I’ve known him since preschool. I haven’t told him anything because I want to put our friendship first. Whenever my other best friend brings up how much my crush “flirts” with me (and vice-versa) in front of him, I play it off as a joke. I’m not ready to tell him just yet.

deep breath OH goodness… I think I win the award for both the earliest crush and the longest running crush so far. Here goes.
I think at first, I was just a confused kindergartener. I was too young to really understand the concept of attractive, but he was funny and could do a pretty good Elvis impersonation. (Says the person who didn't know who Elvis was in kindergarten.) I actually modeled the personality of one of my stuffed animals after him, complete with the Elvis moves.
Unfortunately, he didn't really know who I was. We had basically no interaction, and I think one year I didn't have him in my class, so I gave up on him.
FAST FORWARD to sixth grade when we had two smart-people classes together. (My crush must be smart, of course). In one class, we sat near each other and we interacted a lot. He was cute (blonde hair, blue eyes) and funny and we had to work together in the same group a lot. Also, we were in the same science class. I started to like him again and I was pretty sure he liked me back. Of course, I suck at confrontation and never admitted it to him. For our science exam, we did a dissection that required a partner, and he asked me. In my mind, that was equivalent to a date. (Of course, in hindsight, it could've just been because I was one of the smartest kids in the class, but that's not as romantic.)
In seventh grade, we sat at the same table in math and often we'd not pay attention because we were too busy whispering and joking around. I recommended books and movies to him and he showed me how to build paper airplanes. (Yes, I know, I didn't learn until I was in seventh grade.)
Then came eighth grade. We had no classes together except band, and he was actually a bit of a pain in that class. Usually he was too busy whispering with his little trumpet friends or playing on his phone, which I - as a goody-two-shoes- disapproved of. He seemed to just get more immature and he stopped talking to me. I think he mentioned my name all of once the entire year and we had one conversation. That's it. For a bit, I still got the butterflies when I saw him. But over time, I just thought he was annoying and stopped caring.
So my first crush ended peacefully with no broken hearts and no confessions of love (phew!).