forum Best Insults that do not contain any swear words that you can come up with

Started September 07, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport

Did someone catch you when you fell out of heaven? Because you're hella ugly.

I would say your brain is a block of wood, but that would be rude to the wood, so no

(one I found a while ago and use frequently)
You're as ignored as the Terms and Conditions

Going off what @PuffPoff said;
You're like the Terms and Conditions: I don't care what you have to say.

You…can talk! OMG I have to call the science magazine. There's a talking toad!

You're about as useful as a one-legged man in an ass/butt kicking contest.

I have a list of every creature in the world in terms of how nice they should be treated. You rank somewhere between tapeworms and mosquitoes

"Did it hurt?"
"You mean when I fell from heaven?"
"No, when they kicked you out of hell because they didn't want to deal with your bullsh*t."

"Did it hurt?"
"You mean when I fell from heaven?"
"No, when they kicked you out of hell because they didn't want to deal with your bullsh*t."

No offense, but I think that has maybe one or two swears….not that I even give a kriff.

(just gonna stalk this bc I can't think of insults and these are so gud)

(Same. I'm saving all of these for future reference)

(just gonna stalk this bc I can't think of insults and these are so gud)

(Same. I'm saving all of these for future reference)

(Same)

As someone whose 75% made of water, you don't look very refreshing

(Same. I'm saving all of these for future reference)

Referring to all this is good, just make sure you don't quote some of these verbatim in your writing as they're actually movie or book quotes. :)

Ignore them, their brain is not in the right place right now, assuming they have a brain at all

You're as useless as a shoe shop in the Shire

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

I shall compare thee to a summer's day, because thou hast no class

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse

Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong

You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about

You look like a before picture.

So you've changed your mind, is this one any better?

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must've been a long and lonely journey!

I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as well as nature did.

I like to use insult generators when it comes to this sort of thing. This has some swearing in it, but the results are always great.

I think "Communist Butt Canoe" is my favourite one that I've come up with so far.

You're worse than karma