forum "Pass the story?" Add one to two sentences, only rule is just make grammatical sense to the best of your ability!

Started January 11, 2018 by @p3ncil

tune

We wandered off to the bakery. "A brownie,please. No, just kiddin' I'll have a chocolate crossaint." I said to the dude in charge.

"Ok. And you?" The guy glanced to Bill.

Another character in all bright pink pops up. Their eyes are facing in two different directions and they have a strange, deranged smile on their face. Their hair is sticking up all over the place and they're wearing a bright pink tutu. "I'm dead inside."

The guy ignores the new character and gets Bill and I's food. Seeing our confused expressions, he sighs. "He's a normal sight here at the bakery. Just ignore him. All he wants is attention." I nod, warily, and lead Bill to a corner table.

The pink person looked around. "B-but… the lesbians…." They slam their hands on the counter. "Think of the lesbians, Jerry!"

'Jerry' ignores her and hums loudly. "I'M BIIIIIIIIIII…." He sings over her.

Jerry looks down at him and exhales deeply. "Shithead, it's hard to forget about the lesbians while you're around. Now move. You're in the way of some customers." Jerry waves his hands in front of Shithead's face as if he was waving off an annoying bug.

She obliged, standing on one of the tables and doing an Irish jig. "ALL I WANTED WAS A CAKE FOR MY SWEET SIXTEENTH, JERRY. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON I EVER CAME HERE. I'M SORRY IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME THE CAKE YET." She shouts.

Jerry sighed. "GET DOWN SHITHEAD!"

Jerry threw his hands in the air. "SHITHEAD, YOU'RE 36! YOU SHOULD MOVE ON!"

"MY MOTHER WAS AN ELEPHANT!!!! ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET!!!" Shithead argued, switching to some Polish dance.

"GET DOWN DUMBASS AND ILL MAKE YOU A CAKE!!" Jerry screamed.

"THANK GOD! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!" She got down from the table and sidled up to the counter. "Make it a lemon-meringue ice cream cake with buttercream/pecan icing." She ordered.

"Yes ma'am…" He sighed, writing it down.
"And i'll have a deit coke!" She added.
"Whatever you want Margret…"

"IT'S SHITHEAD!" She yelled.

"My name is Sandy." She wrinkled her nose. "After my late husband."

I looked "Sandy" with the utmost concern and confusion. "You named yourself after your dead husband?"

"Yes, Sandy." She poked him in the chest. "You're dead to me."

I blinked in shock. "So…." I started, crinkling my nose, trying to understand. "You're saying that I'm your late husband?"

"That depends. How many people named Sandy are there?" She asked me.

"Well uhm… alot.." I stuttered.

"Hmmmm…." She scrutinized me. "He died in Greece. Eaten alive by a rouge octopus, if I remember correctly."

Meanwhile, Bill was looking between the two of us, clearly confused. This was no way to treat your date - ahem - your friend.

"HEY, uhm i mean hey… can you leave them alone… sandy…? Please?" Bill stuttered.

Thanks, Bill, I thought silently, scooting towards him a bit, away from this Other Sandy.

"OOOOOOOH I SHIP NVM YALL ARE COOT!" Sandy squealed. "O. T. P."

"I'm sorry, what?" I exclaim.

Bill turned beet red. "uhm…"
"You. Two." She clapped. "I will make fanfiction!" She hopped on the table and started doing the swish swish… for some reason…

"Oh god." I bury my head in my hands. "Bill…perhaps we should leave…"