@Ruby jane thanks for the critique! he does have a backstory, but i haven't gotten around to writing it here because initially it didn't make much sense. i'll fill out the other categories i made and i think i should elaborate more on his behavior, like you said
once he's been edited, is it ok if i show you the updated version so that you can see if it's any better?
@petal piñata
Great! Of course its ok, I would love to see it!!
Here is my child Lucas. Thank you!!
@TheMusicalVampire
This is random, but I like your user name…Ok so Lucas(randomly I have a character named Lukas)
Hair color, is it like carrot red? Deep auburn?
So mannerisms, what does he do when he is scared, angry, depressed, happy?
Very few people only have one flaw, is he childish, immature, does he have anger issues?
Personality type, does he like being sarcastic? (some people view it as a flaw, others as a gift)
Ok so politics. It's great that you have thought all of that out, but he's thirteen. I mean most kids of that age that I know really don't care about all of that, although I do think it's perfectly reasonable that there certain ones that hit close to home and therefor he would have an opinion on.
He seems to have had a pretty upsetting childhood, did anything good happen to him?
Hope this helps!!!!!!!
@@Rubyjane
Thank you for your critique!! I will work on some of these things!
EDIT: Also, I forgot to thank you on the complement!! Thank you!!
I'm glad I could help!!
So I have been working on this character for a while but I have recently writer's block and have made no progress.
Kai
Does she leave her hair down? Pull it in a ponytail?
If she is 6'0 she is a bit underweight, but you probably wanted it that way
Does she do anything when she is excited? Happy?
What's her personality type?
What kind of mental problems?
Why was she living with a murderer?
Very interesting character!! I hope I was able to help!!
Can you help me out with mine? Kioshi and Aimi are my main focus though, please and thank you! https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters
@Ozera Katara
I'm not able to view your character. Is it on private?
I'm unsure. How would I check?
When you edit a character, right near the save button there are two other buttons. Click the left most button (A circle connected to two others) and you should see the privacy settings.
Ok thank you, that was very helpful. Ok, hopefully this works: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters
I just don't understand it, it still won't open to your character page. It only opens to my character list. I'm so sorry I don't know what to do!!
I don't know either. Last try but with only one character: Invalid Character
Hey it worked!! I'll critique when I get done with homework!!
Ok lol, last one I'll send is his future girlfriend's (Aimi), her sister (Ayaka), and Nozomu (all from same story).
Aimi= Invalid Character
Ayaka= Invalid Character
Nozomu= Invalid Character
Thank you and good luck with your homework!
@Ozera Katara
Kioshi:
What shade of blue is his hair? Electric? Baby blue? Light blue? Royal?
What metallic metal? Silver? Gold?
Maybe add more detail to his personality type, some of his mannerisms can probably go under personality in addition
HIs backstory seems very interesting, try elaborating more? I would love to know more
Aimi:
What shade of blonde is her hair? Dirty blonde? Bleached?
Hot pinks eyes, really interesting! Very different
Is it possible to be both republican and democrat?
Again, maybe a bit more backstory?
Does he cat have a name?
Ayaka:
Any more detail on her eye color?(use same suggestions from Kioshi)
Maybe add more to her mannerisms and personality?
Again, a bit more backstory?
Nozomu:
Maybe add a bit more to his nature
I like his relationship with Ryoko its so sweet sounding
Back story is interesting!
Thank you, I'm adding it now. I'll send links once done plus one more character.
Kioshi: Invalid Character
Aimi: Invalid Character
Ayaka: Invalid Character
What more could I add to Nozomu's nature?: Invalid Character
Newer Character; Mikay: Invalid Character
Could You critique my character? If you aren’t too bogged down with other requests? https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/367874#overview_panel
@Ozera Katara
I liked the changes you made on all the characters!!
Nozomu:
What kind of flashy clothing does he wear?
Why doesn't he want to go on dates with some of the girls he flirts with?
What makes him like Ryoko?
Does he always choose to make people feel better? If not, why?
Mikay:
How long is her hair? Her lower back? Her rear end?
What does Mikey do when she is angry, sad, happy, or disappointed?
Why does she want to hide her feelings?
So she's a know it all? Is there anything else about her personality you could add?
Is there a reason she hates all animals? Did something scary happen with animals when she was a child?(Ex: a scary animal licking her face when she was a child and being traumatized ever since)
Who is Zack?
I hope I could help!!
Jane Taylor
Is his hair simply black? Any highlights or maybe lighter roots or tips?
How short is his hair?
Does he get sunburns a lot?(I know there isn't a spot for that, just a thought)
Where are his tattoos?
I love his personality!! Maybe just expand on the things you have, why exactly does he walk three paces behind? Does he have any specific things he absolutely refuses to do even for his sisters?
What is the other job that he has?
What kind of magic does he have?
Very very interesting character!! I hope you continue to develop the character!!
I grant you a character!
Thanks in advance!!!
Whoops, this was supposed to be the third
Moonlit Silver Knight
First, wow! Your character was so creative!! I've never heard of anything like that.
How long is his hair?
What shade of green? Emerald? Muted?
Is he always traumatized? Is he ever happy, sad, or angry? If so what does he do when he feels those things?
Why did the people want to kill him seeing as the experiment worked?
Over all I couldn't find anything else, you seemed to have thought him through very well.
@3abbie3
I couldn't find anything, sry I couldn't be more of a help:)
I've actually been working on Zack, I'm just no where near finished. And thank you, I'll adjust these as needed and update you!
So, this is Lucas again but, he has been changed and added to a lot. Thanks!!