forum Hey! I'm new and need help formatting stuff and would like feedback on the stuff I've written
Started by Orion
tune

people_alt 101 followers

Orion

Here's what i've done so far:
I ran out of the mall, laughing, Draven chasing after me “You ain’t gonna get me Rave!” I yelled, calling him Rave, as always. Everyone in our group called him something different, and there’s a lot of us. Eight, to be exact. “Lil! Get back here!” Rave said “I bet I can get back faster than ya!” I said
“A challenge? Bet.” He’s always been competitive. In everything, even looks. He loves his light brown, short hair. It’s some sort of weird hairstyle that he customized so much that I don’t think there’s a name for it. He’d probably kill anyone who’d dare to mess with it. But, if I'm being honest, the effort he puts into looks is probably the reason he’s so respected. I don’t do anything with my hair or looks and people just pick on me all the time. “Lilitu? Lilitu!” I heard Rave say “huh? What happened?” I said “You did that thing where you zone out and forget about your surroundings, you almost got hit by a car, Lil.” Rave said “Oh, sorry” I said
“You’ve been doing that a lot lately. You’ll get hurt if you’re not careful.”
“I guess so-wait, I’m not taking advice from you! You’re a child”
“I’m only a month younger than you! My birthday’s next week!”
“Oh, young child. One day you will understand how cruel the world is” I said in an over dramatic voice
“You’re ridiculous” Rave said
“Yup! But what are you gonna do, get rid of me?”
“Fair enough.” Rave said “ Wanna head back, then?”
“Yep.”
We walk off and Rave just starts talking, trying to make sure I don’t zone out again”Lil, you’re about to zone out again. Snap back into reality please” Rave said “How do you know when I'm about to zone out?” I said “You get a far away look in your eyes and you slouch more”
“You pick up on too many details”
“Look, we’re here”
“Hey everyone!” I yelled, Me and Rave had gone to the store to buy last minute supplies for the easter party we were having and it seemed that in the time it took us everyone had arrived “Lil! Hi! Do ya got the stuff?” Megaera said “Yep, Rave has the balloons and the ice cream is in this bag. ” I said “Thanks, Lil!”
“Meg! I need your help!” Azazel yelled from the other room “Coming El! Thanks again, Lil. You can put the ice cream and balloons in the kitchen”
“M’kay”
I began to head to the kitchen when Mara stopped me “I can take that to the kitchen for you, Lil” Mara said “Okay, thanks. I’ll go make sure Rave isn’t up to anything too crazy” I said and handed Mara the bag. I walked out of the room and went to the front yard “Rave? Are ya out here?” I said “I’m in the window well!” Rave hollered back. I walked over and saw him sitting in a window well, trying to open a bottle of b00ze to take a sip “Rave, get out of the window well. You’re crazy, I swear” I said “Probably” Rave said. I helped him up and we went inside “You gotta stop doing that” I said “One day my ideas will save us from a life or death situation. I just know it” Rave said
“Sure, sure” I rolled my eyes “Hey Lil, have you seen D- oh he’s right here” El said “Whatcha want El?” Rave said, sounding a little annoyed as they had had an argument that morning, about who knows what.
“Mom said you need to take me home at 10pm and that after you do that you can come back here”
“Fine”
“Thanks dumb@ss”
“Swear again and I'm telling. You know mom said you can't swear till you're 13, that's not for 2 months”