forum Love Knows No Crown nor Throne | oxo | closed

Started November 23, 2022 by @knightinadream group

tune

Félix looked away from Henri. A feeling of regret flowed into his mind. He could already tell just by the way the crown prince tensed or the tone in his voice. Sure it was rather bleak before, but there was some hint of gentleness to it. Now there's just gloom, and he knows that it is his fault. "Right…" He nodded. His eyes focused on the two buildings nearby.

"So there's the Acer House which all the boys at then next to it is the Benigne House with the girls. A lot of students sneak out after curfew, sometimes going into the other house or another. They have parties in the basements every now and then. Curfew's at 11, they lock the entrance doors so that's why everyone goes through the windows."

As they got to the entrance of Acer, he shoved his lanyard into his pocket then opened the door. "You are room 110. Usually people in our grade have a roommate, but you get the whole room by yourself." He looked over at Henri, trying to offer a hopeful smile, even though he pondered his efforts.

This won't go on for any longer though. Once they get to Henri's room, it's over and he can go back to class. So much for not being able to go back to sleep. If only he could have saved the adrenaline for football practice later.

Both houses look like any other you would see really. The insides were just renovated to house students. Félix has only go into them a few times, and the two out of three were because of today. No one needed keys to get in or out of rooms, unless someone locked it from the inside.

Passing by rooms, he watched for the numbers on the little signs by the doors till he found 110. "Well…here it is." He shrugged. Holding the first-aid kit out, his eyes looked down at the floor. "Sorry for being a bother. I hope you get some rest and see you later at lunch, if you're coming." Félix tried to smile. If it was working, well, it was faint and awkward. Believe him, he is trying, but he is confused.

Henri didn't relax again for the remainder of the tour, if it could really be called that. However, he was thankful he wasn't dragged around the school and paraded around everyone. He much preferred this to a real tour.
He did, however, perk up at the mention of the parties. He didn't care about to social aspect but parties meant alcohol and drugs and sex. All of which numbed the pain he was feeling inside. And he was do anything to chase the high that took this feeling inside of him away. Anything. At least he recognized he was going down the rabbit hole, he just didn't care to stop himself.
Henri barely nodded along. Of course he was in a room to himself. Security reasons. They couldn't risk Henri's death as well. The line of sucession would fall outside of the immediate family and they didn't want that. The crown needed to fall to Henri to keep it in his family name.
He stopped in front of the, his, door. He looked down at his feet, shuffling them before looking up at Félix. He had a feeling the schoolboy was a bit of a goodytwoshoes, otherwise he'd might invite him in for some, ah, extracurricular activities.
He didn't make a move to take the first aid kit. He didn't want it. He wouldn't use it. He wouldn't even know where to begin with it. He wasn't good with medice or injuries. He always seemed to make things worse.
"Don't waste your supplies on me. Keep it." Henri made one last attempt to get Félix to keep the kit.

Some kind of chord was struck within him. How or why, that's beyond his guess. It could be anyone's guess, but he knew damn well that it had to do with Henri. Perhaps it's just because Félix instantly looks after anyone because he isn't good at looking after himself. Regardless, he knew it was more than just the first aid kit and the bruises or the need to slow down.

He tilted his head in confusion. Waste your supplies….Would he be wasting his supplies? His chin moved up as his eyes glimpsed at Henri. They looked down at the kit in his hands then back at the bruises on the prince's face, the way his knuckles look. If he is wasting his kit on someone like Henri right now, imagine how much he would waste if he saw worse.

And while he is all about respecting the prince's word, he can't seem to turn off the part of his brain that is making him stand there and stare. There is a reason why he asked for a first aid kit for his birthday after all.

"No. I insist." He continued to hold the kit out in front of him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Henri might not use it or he will end up just taking it back to stuff into his backpack. Now, he has another idea. Another plan.

He pulled the kit towards his chest. "Actually, I have a better idea." Opening the door to Henri's room, he swung it wide. Félix slid through to get inside. "I will do it myself. That will be the conclusion of our lovely tour." And believe him, he will not be taking no for an answer.

Before he would hear any protest, he already had set it down on the empty desk on the left side of the room. Like clockwork, he sipped the case open then already sorted out the things needed. Félix looked over his shoulder, "Come on. The faster we do this, the faster I will stop bothering you."

Henri had hoped that Félix would have just taken that as an answer and walked away. He hoped that he would have left Henri to be by himself. He hated the silence but he hated being around others even more. Usually, he would play some music in the background to fill the void while he slept or moped or did anything else that he did by himself.
He hadn't been expecting for Félix to invite himself into Henri's room and set up shop like he lived there. He stood outside of the room in bewilderment, staring at Félix. Did he know who Henri was? He couldn't do this. Henri, whether he liked it or not, was the crown prince. Boys, or girls, couldn't just burst into his room as they pleased.
Henri closed his mouth and trudged into the room. This was his room and yet he had no idea what to do. He felt like a stranger. His trunks and bags were set against the wall, waiting for him to unpack them like he was the common folk. He had no intention to unpack. He didn't see himself being there long enough to need to unpack anything.
He stood in the middle of the room, looking down at his feet. The scabs on his knuckles had begun to itch and he started to stretch at them. It was either that or pick at his nails. A bad habit, one his parents had never gotten out of him. He used to pick his nails to the beds. They bleed and throb and the wounds would need to be photoshopped out of pictures. He had found other ways to keep his hands busy, to resist picking at his nails, but they didn't always work.

Still looking over at Henri, he smiled then returned back to what he was doing. If everything goes according to the plan he just made a minute ago in under ten seconds, he should be out the door in no more than ten minutes. He could speed run it like those gamers he watches with Dan and Gigi. With first aid and just any type of care, he would not rush it.

The reality of what he is doing clearly has not hit him. Might take him till he's outside again to realize that he just waltzed into the crown prince's room without invitation. His hands are shaky, but he doesn't know why yet. He still is anxious for God only knows why. In his case, bruises can be painful. When they are, it's a concern that must be addressed quickly and accordingly.

Humming softly, he laid everything out. There is only so much he can fit into that pack and so much he can do, but it should be enough. A little goes a long way, right? All he can really do is just use some ointment medicine then bandage up Henri's knuckles. Maybe even give him some pain medication if he wants; Félix won't force him on that though.

Swiftly turning around, he froze. The crown prince is just standing there with his chin parallel to the floor. Holding the topical arnica gel in one hand, he gently used the other hand to move Henri's chin up just enough for him to see the bruises. "I'm sorry, Henri," He muttered, offering a light grin.

Unscrewing the cap, he leaned over to sit it on the desk. Going back, he said, "This probably will sting a little. I'm sorry." It would really be helpful if they had ice or a heating pack. Félix put a little bit of gel on the tip of his finger, carefully dabbing it onto the bruises.

Henri's lips parted softly as fingers lifted his chin. He stared into hazel eyes, focusing wholly on them. No one had touched him with such gentleness in a very long time. The few lovers he had taken were fast and hard. His mother didn't touch him anymore. There were no comforting hugs or grieving together. The last person to touch him with kindness had been Philippe. A tight hug before he had been shipped off to Portugal.
His breathing slowed as he watched Félix. he followed his movement as he set a cap on the desk. He followed his movement as he raised his hand, ointment on his finger.
He didn't flinch away, he didn't wince as Félix put the cool gel on his bruises. It hurt, yes. The bruises began to throb. But it was a second thought. he was relishing this feeling, this kindness, this touch. Even if it was just a stranger. Even if it was someone he had just met. It was overwhelming.
There was no stopping the tear that rolled down his cheek. It was followed by another and one more. His lip didn't quiver. His body didn't shake. There was no other indication that he could be crying. But he wasn't. It was only those three tears rolling down his cheeks.
His eyes closed and his head bowed once more. It was too much. It was all to much for him to handle. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to cry, to scream, to break something. His nails started scratching at his knuckled harder. The pain distracted him from his thoughts, his heart. He felt the warmth as blood pooled at the open wounds but even that didn't make him stop.
"Thank you," he murmured so quietly it almost wasn't legible.

(I'm sorry for your loss. I'll keep it in mind, but you're all good, no worries.)

Pushing his lips together, he blew on the gel. He learned it from Gaspard who always did so anytime he got injured from falling off his bike or just being a kid. After putting on a little bit more gel, with the assurance that he had covered all the areas, he paused for a moment. When he did stop briefly, his eyes gazed back into Henri's.

Setting the gel tube next to its cap, he used his thumb to softly wipe away the tears. Where did these tears come from? Why, how, have they been set free, rolling down the prince's cheeks? He only asked these questions to himself. Now is not the time to ponder such matters. If anything, he will try not to bring it up with Henri in the future. He will keep all of this a secret.

He wasn't sure what to do next. His mind kept telling him that he must be do something, but what? This is the crown prince who is standing in front of him. He cannot just simply hug him or anything like that. Everyone has their own needs for comfort. They just met, and he is being careful for both of their sakes.

Félix couldn't even speak. All he was able to do was nod at the thanks given. Not something that was seeking, yet highly appreciated. From there, he was going to put everything away and leave like promised. As he was about to go on with the plan, a spark of red going down Henri's knuckles caught his eye.

In a blink of an eye, he swung back around. His right arm reached around with his hand resting on Henri's while he used his left hand to cautiously lift the bleeding hand up. He swiftly ushered Henri over to the little mirror and sink in the corner.

Not a single thought came across his mind. Félix turned on the water, putting the bloodied knuckle underneath. Letting it stay, he rushed over to his kit for some antiseptic wipes and bandaging. "You are perfectly fine," He muttered while turning the sink off. Lightly dabbing Henri's knuckles with an antiseptic wipe, he softly blowed on it too.

Then he finally wrapped the knuckle in bandaging with the caution of making sure that it was not too tight nor too loose. Once he was done tying it, he glanced over at Henri, "You are strong." He shook his head, adding on, "I'm sorry. I can do the other one, if you'd like."

Henri didn't put up a fight. He didn't argue or dig his heels in. He let Félix take his hand and guide him over to the sink. He was practically limp as Félix manipulated his body so that his hand was running under cold water. It stung at first, the initial feeling of the water hitting his skin. Then it calmed the throbbing. It felt rather nice but that wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want his hand to feel better. He didn't want to feel better.
All while Félix was caring for him, Henri never took his eyes off of him. He didn't watch the blood drain in the sink. He didn't watch as it was carefully bandaged. He only watched Félix, his eyes on his face.
He wasn't sure what he was searching for. Perhaps a glimpse of his father. Perhaps some affection. Perhaps just a normal interaction. What he did find was kindness. Henri didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve kindness. He didn't deserve to be looked after. Not after everything that he had done. He deserved to be left alone. He deserved to be left to fall.
He raised his other hand silently, placing it in Felix's hands. He wanted to proling this, this caring. He hadn't received it in so long. Rightfully so, but he found he longed for it. He wanted it. For so long he had wanted to punish himself. He had found partners that hadn't treated him well during their tumbles. He drank, he smoked, he fought. He did what he thought he deserved. He hadn't realized that he craved affection and he hadn't expected what it would do to him. How he would react.
He was not strong, despite Felix's words. If he was strong, he wouldn't be drinking and smoking and fighting. He wouldn't be there. He would be by his family's side, embracing his new role. He would be the new face of the monarch. He would have a brave face on as he calmed the people and assured them they would eliminate this threat. But he wasn't strong.
He was weak.
He was so weak.

Strength can mean many things. Strength could mean being an Achilles or a strong nobke king or it could mean letting someone take care of you. Even looking at someone, looking at them in the eyes, that could be strength. What did Félix mean when he said that Henri is strong? He doesn't know, yet he will gladly stand by his point.

"Oh?" He looked down at the hand placed in his. Unlike with the last one, his heart was pounding and running all over the place. There wasn't a red alarm going off in his head. The matter of urgency remained yet he was able to find himself taking a quiet exhale.

His thumb rubbed the side of Henri's hand. Félix repeated the process once again, except with a new clean antiseptic wipe, of course. This time, the process was slow and steady. He even hummed softly while wrapping this hand up. Not sure what the song was, just some calming tune he always uses. Tilting his head to the side, some of his curls fell out of place.

Disposing the two bloodied wipes into the wastebasket, he took another deep exhale. His eyes returned to Henri. They widened, trying to figure out what was going on in the current moment. He couldn't tell, but there is one thing Félix is sure of.

He did not waste his supplies.

No, he did not. If this were a less serious, dire, situation, he would have jokingly said something like "See? I told you so!", but he didn't. His lips were sealed. In fact, he was pretty much frozen in place.

There is just something about this moment that is keeping him still. Whether it is Henri or something about Henri, he does not know. Looking down at the newly wrapped up hand, he slowly rubbed his thumb against its side.

What is he to do now? As of now, there is nothing for him in the plan. He can leave. He can give Henri some pain medication. There are a few things he can do for him, yet he doesn't want to overstay his already uninvited welcome. It would be rude to abruptly leave as well.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Félix glimpsed into Henri's eyes briefly, then returned his gaze back to the bandaged hand.

Henri inhaled sharply. Such affection, he had never known it. Never felt this tenderness that felt reserved only for the most intimate lovers. He didn't deserve this and yet, he found himself craving this touch. A touch no one would dare to do. He was a prince. The crowned prince no less. No one touched him. No one got near him. And yet, Félix was doing all of those things.
Slowly, he lowered his head, looking down at his bandaged hands their clasped hands. It was so oddly different than what he expected. Even those he met under the cover of night were never this gentle. Was this what it was like? To have someone love you? Did they touch you like this? He didn't know and perhaps never would. He had overheard his mother arranging marriages for him already and he wasn't even of legal age yet. Something about needing allies.
He raised his head to look back at Félix. He didn't know. Was there something else? He didn't know what to do. Not with the fluttering in his chest or the pounding of his heart. He wasn't sure.
All he knew was that he didn't want to be let go of.
Henri shook his head, a silent answer. No, there wasn't anything else he could do for Henri. At least nothing he would ask of him.

Deep down, Félix wished there was something more. He wished, hoped for Henri to say yes. Anything to give him reason to keep him here longer. Anything to give him reason to hold Henri's hands. The weight of them made his face tingle with warmth. His heart pounding with anticipation. Oh God, please please please; he could never ask for something more.

An empty feeling dropped in his chest. Curling his lips back, he nodded. The light in his eyes dimmed. His shoulders dropped. The want was still there; he doesn't know how to make it go away. No, it is not Henri's answer making him feel this way. It is this lingering yearning that is causing him to look away.

One last time, his thumb brushed over the covered knuckles. After reaching the last one, he carefully let go then turned to put away everything. He didn't rush, yet he wasn't taking all the time in the world as well. Putting the cap on the tube, he pushed it further in on the desk then sat some bandages next to it.

He took out a random piece of paper and pen that has been in his jacket pocket for weeks. With the blue pen, he wrote, "Apply gel twice a day, use ice pack for 10 minutes. Clean scabs and rewrap three times a day." Below his instructions, he wrote down his number just in case Henri were to run out of bandages or something.

Zipping up the first aid kit cover, he picked it up by the handle and walked over towards the door. His free hand hovered over the door knob. Only his index and middle finger lightly brushed against it before his hand fell to his side.

Félix gazed over at Henri. If he was bold as he was before, he would have hugged the crown prince. If he was even bolder, crazier even, he would kiss him on the cheek then go. But he did neither of those things. He smiled faintly.

"Bye." The word was only thing he could say before stepping out into the hall. He closed the door behind him. Pulling his phone out, he checked the time. That was not ten minutes. It was totally more than ten minutes.

A shiver startled him. He looked around. The hallway was empty. Félix sighed as he begun to make his way down the hall towards the exit.

Henri tried to gain control of his heart and his breathing. For an unknown reason, his heart was pounding. It was speeding and fluttering in his chest. His breath quickened with each inhale. He tried anything he could think of to control his body, but no avail.
He wished there was a reason he could ask Félix to stay. He longed for that feeling, of being touched and cared for. But the truth of the matter was that they had only known each other for half an hour at the most. It wasn't appropriate to entertain Félix in his room. It would get back to his mother and then he was in for it. His mother, the queen, had no qualms about gay people or the lgbtq+ except when it came to Henri. Especially now that he was the heir. He needed to marry a woman of high standard and children of his own to continue the line. Never mind the fact he had sisters that could it for him.
He reached his hands out as Felix pulled away, as if reaching for him. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to loose this contact. He slipped his hands back to his sides. There were things he wanted that he shouldn't, and this was one of those times.
He half listened as Félix spoke. He likely wouldn't care for the wounds again. He didn't care if they healed or not, or how fast. He was, however, entranced by Felix's voice. His fists clenched as Félix walked to the door, as it was opened. He wanted to say something, anything. But he was afraid that if he opened his mouth he would beg for him to come back, to stay for a little while.
So Henri only lifted a hand and gave a half wave.
And when the door was closed, he collapsed on the carpet and began to sob.

The farthest he could make it was to the bench on the path outside. He could only trudge so far. This void in his chest turned into a massive weight, pulling him down and made it harder for him to go on. Falling onto the bench, he rested his back against it. He threw the stupid first aid kit next to him. His phone fell out of his pocket, but he just didn't have the energy to pick it up.

If only he could go home. If only he could then he would run up to his bedroom and stay in bed for the rest of the day. Hell, for the rest of the week even. There he would hide under the covers and cry or just lay there silently, hoping that this mental turmoil would pass.

Félix has only been at this school for three months, and he already wants to switch back to his old one. He can deal with the bullying and all the weird stares. It's fine. Might as well transfer before everyone here finds out about all his secrets. And before Henri could find anything out, and think poorly of him too.

Henri….The thought of his name is enough to make his heart sink further into the abyss. They don't even know each other well enough, but Félix already has these feelings. Feelings that he knows he shouldn't be having for the crown prince. Feelings that he can have about anyone else. Not the crown prince.

But Henri is more than that. He isn't just the crown prince. He is more than the face of royalty. Félix shook his head, tilting it up to look at the clouds. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

"Fuck this." He picked up his phone and dashed back. Fuck the first aid kit. Fuck this feeling in his stupid head. Fuck everything. There was no plan for this. Not even a single thought. His feet carried him up the stairs and into the hallway where Henri's room is.

"Henri! Henri!" Félix panted as he knocked on the door. "It's me…Félix….I forgot something…." He struggled to catch his breath. "Can I…Can I…Can I come in?"

Henri cried on the floor for a long whole. He wasn't sure how much time passed. He moured his brother. He moured the life he had, the life he could have had. He cried for who he was, what he was. He cried for the gods making him as he was, for having a preference for more than just women.
Eventually, he picked himself off the floor and trudged to the made bed. He made no attempt to get under the covers. He didn't kick off his shoes or undress. He just collapsed on top of the bed, his face in the pillow, and his hands tucked to his chest. He let that feeling wash over him, how Félix cared for him, treated his wounds. He could care less how they healed, he relished in the pain. But that softness warmed his heart and beat in his chest. Butterflies were fluttering where his heart should be. He hadn't felt this way since the day he learned he was bisexual and had a crush on a maid's son when he was thirteen.
He thought about the note that was left on his desk. He pulled himself out of bed and grabbed the paper. His fingers traced over the letters, memorizing the way Félix wrote his words. It was nice, neat. A contrast from Henri's own garbled scribble. He couldn't even read his own hand writing half of the time. He wasn't that he wasn't well written. He just didn't care enough to write neatly. His mind was moving at a mile a minute and his hand couldn't keep up with his thoughts.
Henri jolted as there was a bang on the door. His mind flashed half a second to the shot that had rung out as his brother was shot in the head. His heart was racing, but for a different reason now. And he didn't calm until he heard a familiar voice shouting through the door.
He was confused now. Félix had just been there and everything was fine. Had something happened in the time that Félix had left? Had someone come to kill him as well?
Shaking, Henri got out of the bed. He cared not for his appearance. Red nose and eyes, dried tears streaked down his cheeks. His clothes even more rumpled than when he had gotten there.
He opened the door softly, gulping. He opened the door further and stepped to the side, nodding that he could come in.

Will this be something that he regrets for the rest of his life? As he stood there, waiting, he tried not to think about the thousands of possibilities. It didn't matter. Eventually Félix was able to catch his breath, but his heart kept beating. In his chest, it was running around in circles. The waiting is agony. His patience kept him still like a statue.

Everything about him now was a bit messy. His hair was messy. Curls were just all over the place. Part of his shirt became untucked. He had to loosen his tie because it felt like he was suffocating. Somehow he felt sweaty from the sudden burst of energy too. He wished he could explain what was going on or why he is doing what he is doing.

The door opened. His chest heaved with anticipation. His bottom lip separated, creating a gap. In a second, he stood still staring at Henri. Regret filled him. Thousands of words piled up on his tongue as more built up in his throat. He shouldn't have left just minutes ago. Silence rang in the air. It competed with the sound of his heartbeat.

Félix stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He was going to say something. Something like how he lied about forgetting something or wanting to not leave before. But he didn't. He was silent. In the second that his eyes flickered to Henri, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace.

A few tears rolled down his face. He did not care about them. In this moment now, only a few things mattered to him. Only one other person matters to him in this moment.

Henri's eyes looked him up and down slowly, taking in Felix's disheveled self. What had happened to the composed boy that was in his room just minutes ago? He had been poised, his uniform straight and proper. Everything opposite that Henri had been. And now they stood before each other, both disheveled, and if anyone walked in on them like this, they'd likely think they had been up to something.
Yet what they were doing was totally innocent. Félix had helped bandage his wounds and care for him, left instructions, then left himself. But now he was back. Henri stood before him, breathing hard. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, his nose running from his earlier crying.
Félix said he needed something, that he left something, but he couldn't think of anything that had been left behind. So what did he need?
Henri stiffened as arms suddenly circled around him. It was the last thing he had expected, from Félix or anyone else for that matter.
After a moment of hesitant, he wrapped his arms around Félix. He let out a long breath, the tension leaving his body. He buried his face in his neck, hiding himself form the world.
This was nice.
He hadn't had a hug in so long, at least not one that he acknowledged. He wanted to buried himself in Felix's arms and never come out. He felt safe, protected, warm. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Everything will be okay.

At least, he hopes. That is what he likes to believe. He really believes that he shouldn't have left. If only he had hesitated for a second there after asking if there was anything else. If only he just pulled Henri into a hug then. He could have been a shoulder to cry on or just there to embrace.

But he is here now. He is here with arms gently squeezing him. Yes he has lied a little, but he hoped that it was alright. Now this was not something he really needed, or is it? He isn't sure why he had run back in a flash. His heart and mind were both still racing, but they also felt relaxed.

Suddenly, he felt arms wrapping around him. Tension rose, making his shoulders stiff till he forced them to relax once again. Félix smiled a little. A couple more tears rolled down his face.

The whole world must have stopped. Time must be standing still. It's just Henri and him in this room. They are in each other's arms too. This feeling of it being the two of them: Félix knows that he probably should not entertain it, yet he likes it. He really does. There was tenderness when he took care of Henri's knuckles and now there's warmth in this hug they are sharing.

Reaching up, his fingers lightly combed through Henri's hair. He closed his eyes. The mental turmoil dissipated. Any thoughts lingering in his mind were gone. For the first time, he felt at peace. Warmth blanketed over him. Félix exhaled deeply.

Henri tightened his arms around him, squeezing hard. Not enough to be painful, but he nought to show his hand, his emotions. A few stray tears fell down his cheeks and splashed on Felix's skin.
His body relaxed into the embrace. His limbs loosened as everything, everything seeped out of him. His legs liquefied and he found he wasn't able to hold up his body weight any longer.
His knees gave out and if it weren't for Félix he would have fallen to the floor. It was so nice to have someone care for hom this way. It felt so nice. He never wanted to let go.
"Wh-what did you forget?" His voice was hoarse and broke half way through his sentence. He cleared his throat, not that it did much.
Heat started flood his cheeks as he realized how inappropriate this was. He was hugging a near stranger. Crying in front of him, on him. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't behave this way. It wasn't how a prince should act. But he found he didn't care.

His heart thumped again before melting from the tighten embrace made it melt. Félix rested his chin over Henri's shoulder. He kept on, slowly brushing through. The cooling sensation of tears against his skin made him shiver.

"Hm? Oh…" Félix bit on his bottom lip while trying to come up with something to say. His mind had a hard time trying to figure something out. For a few moments, it was literally empty aside from thinking about this hug they're in and Henri.

"I didn't forget anything," He admitted. "I wanted to stay a little and hug you or something because I-" Again he bit on his lip, but released it when he took a deep breath. "To be honest, I don't know. I had a feeling that I shouldn't have left so soon…that I should've stayed for a bit..and you might have needed some company."

He sniffled. "I know this is going to sound weird but, I just care about you. Don't know how or why, I just do." And it is weird. Félix only met this person, this crown prince, mere moments ago. These feelings just spurred out of nowhere. When he came back, it was like he had spidey-senses. Also a weird way to put it, but it's true.

All of this is a little weird. They're still strangers to each other, right? Maybe they can get to know each other. Henri is more than a prince after all. And for Félix, well he doesn't know what Henri thinks of him. Oh well, none of it matters now. All that matters is what (better yet, who) is in their arms.

Henri snorted in amusement. He lifted his head from Felix's neck but didn't pull out of his arms. He wasn't ready for that, the loss of contact, yet. He wanted this. He wanted this for as long as he could get it, either Félix had to go or someone came to check on them, or lunch.
"You should come up with a better excuse if you're trying to sneak into a prince's room. We need to work on your subtly." The words slipped out without care. He hadn't meant to say we. It was an accident. We was used if they were old friends. They barely knew each other. And yet, it felt like he had known him for ages. Sometimes, you just met the person that feels like you've them for much longer.
Soulmates, he thought, whether platonic or romantic. He felt it in his heart, his soul. It was something he just knew. Whatever it led too, it was as though destiny had brought them to this.
He wasn't an affectionate person. He wasn't touchy nor did he seek touch. And yet, because he was a prince, it was frowned upon for others to touch him. They could find themselves in jail or dead for touching him without permission. And because of this, he seemed to crave touch when he could take it. He gobbled it up for as lone as he could get it.

Félix removed his chin to look at Henri. Did he just make the prince laugh a little? His hand hovered before resting on Henri's back. "What?" He laughed a little himself. His bottom lip jutted out. "I am telling the truth, Henri. I know we've only just met, but I promise that I won't lie to you."

He tilted his head to the side a little. We? "Oh…" His whole face turned red. Perhaps Henri was just being sarcastic. He knows he tends to be around Dan, Gigi, and even Gaspard. Félix looked off to the side for a second, laughing softly to himself. He was about to make a claim that he was not trying to sneak in, but it was no use.

We….The use of such a simple word must have been a mistake or he could have misheard. In a way, it sounded like they were a thing, that they are together. Something that would never happen. Not that means Henri is not his type or anything; he kinda is, Félix guesses. The problem is is that Félix is the problem. He's a boy. A simple boy who has no royal blood in him. It wouldn't work out.

Why is he even thinking of these things now? His stupid brain is just doing useless laps for no reason. This isn't the time or place to let these stupid thoughts run wild.

There is something going on though. Between them. Now. Despite the apparent facts of their differences and so on, his heart feels warm. Not the usual warmth of excitement or anything like that. This warmth, he felt it in his mind too. Better yet, just everywhere. Hell even in the air too.

He laughed again. "Next time, I will come up with something better like studying or a project…or working on my subtlety." His fingers gently brushed the side of Henri's face. "I can be like everyone else and sneak through the window. Like Rapunzel and her prince."

Henri smiled. The first genuine one in weeks. It was small, just a quirk of the lips. Nothing big, no teeth showing, but it was an improvement to the stoic face he had before. His mood was lifted, even if it was likely temporary. It was like Félix could light up the room with just hos smile and voice. Henri wondered if he knew that he had that power.
His eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into the hand that touched his face. He felt in that moment, it solidified his thoughts about Félix, his sexuality. He could never been one hundred percent positive without Félix's confirmation, but his touches, his action, pointed towards a liking to men.
Henri like that but he also knew it was dangerous. Dangerous grounds. If anyone found out, if it got into the tabloids, it would be a scandal. His family did their best to avoid scandals, which was why his mother lectured him to stay away from anyone his parents didn't permit for him to date.
Such dated customs, but unfortunately his reality.
His eyes opened and he focused on Félix. "Perhaps studying would be a good excuse. But I am no damsel in distress. I don't need a prince to scale my tower and resuce me, unless you would prefer to react that. I don't judge others fantasies." A small jest, a lighthearted tease. It felt good to joke, to be in better spirits.

Félix remained still as his eyes grew wide. Never before has the smallest of smiles caught him in a trance. It sent a spark straight to his heart. There's flames inside that he cannot quite extinguish. Henri's little smile was subtle yet enough to make his own widen into a beam. To him, it is bright like a star. Even the smallest of stars have a lasting impact. And boy, this one that he is seeing, he will not be able to forget ever.

As much as he was melting from all of this, he froze. Literally froze. Those suffocating thoughts returned. A lot of "shouldn't have" statements swirled around. Henri reacting to his touch made him feel a lot of things. Depending on who you ask, it could go either way. Good or bad.

Yes, he has heard rumors about Henri and his sexuality. Almost everyone has. Personally, in the past, Félix did not pay a lot of attention to them. He spent his time sitting in the corner of his room worrying about the rumors his own sexuality.

Now he is worried that if someone were to walk in on them now, he would be unintentionally dragging Henri into more trouble; trouble that is not his fault nor wrong. That is the thought suffocating him. Félix loves this moment. He loves holding someone like Henri and being held too, but the thought is wrapping around him, sticking him with spikes and thorns.

He found himself laughing again. The redness in his face persisted. "Fantasies?" He shook his head. Giggling softly, his nose scrunched. "Oh no no no. I have no such thing…If anything, I would be the damsel in distress or a simple peasant boy." Félix shrugged. He just likes stories and using analogies sometimes. Not as much as he likes brushing Henri's hair with his fingers though. Nor as much as he enjoys being this close to, or with, someone.

Henri closed his eyes once more, that little smile still splaying on his lips. He leaned into his hand, nudging jt even, for him to continue. This was dangerous, so dangerous. He would be screwed of anyone came to the door. And while it would be easy to come up with an excuse. Their disheveled appearance would only suggest the worst. Not that they had entertained that, but it did leave a message.
However, Henri seemed to have run out of fucks to give. He could care less how people saw hom or viewed him. It was his parents that cared, that expected more from him. They didn't understand him. They did their best to support him but they didn't understand. Only Philippe had.
His parents hadn't cared when he was a second son. A second son could trapeze as he pleased, as long as when it came to it, he settled down with a respectable person, not that he had ever planned on that. He swung both ways and would be with whoever his heart ached for. That plan had never changed. But he was no longer a forgotten second son. He was heir now and everything he dis was picked apart and analyzed. He could eat his own food without being citizen and the tabloids spinning some story.
Henri began to run his hand up and down Felix's back, fingertips trailing over the covered back. His fingers picked at the shirt and pulled it just above the waistband on his trousers, fingertips touching skin. "I don't ever think you would be a damsel in distress. You were the one rushing to my side to help me, were you not? I don't think that quite fits you."
It was hot in the room. It was hot and yet Henri could only press himself further to Félix. He told himself it was only because he wanted to steal the affection, the comfort from him that was being offered freely. Definitely not because of the fluttering in his chest and the heat rising in his cheeks. Certainly not that.

Slowly yet surely, his fingertips continued to brush against the side of Henri's face. They just drifted, slightly hovering over. He made sure that he was as softly as he possibly could be. The movement was satisfying to him. Everything he tried to do with gentleness was. The fact that someone else does too makes him feel happier even though he wants to do it all time now.

Such a thing would be impossible though. Not as much as the thought of him kissing Henri on the cheek or even the lips would be. He isn't even sure where that idea came from. The anxiety over getting Henri in trouble just because he has his arms wrapped around him is already enough. Entertaining such things like hugs or cupping his cheek or even kissing is not the best thing he should be doing. What he is doing right now is dangerous too.

For a second, his hand rested on the side of Henri's neck. Félix glimpsed over his shoulder before briefly looking down. Goosebumps covered the back of his neck. A light chuckle slipped through his lips. He looked at Henri.

The prince has a point. He probably isn't a damsel in distress, despite the fact he always feels like he is in distress. Actually, he rushed to his side twice and chances are he would more than gladly would do it again. A smirk appeared on his face. "Then what do you think would fit me best?"

His chest heaved once again. The space between them becoming small. Félix felt his other hand sliding down, resting on Henri's waist. Really, he shouldn't be giving into what is heart is asking for. Entertaining this will only make things worse. This feeling of warmth and comfort, he doesn't want it to end though. What is that he is feeling right now? What is he feeling for Henri?

Henri hummed, thinking for a moment, stalling. This was dangerous and reckless and wild and he was loving every minute of it. He didn't fall into the social norms, he never had. He never liked doing as he was told, especially when it was uptight and unreasonable. There was nothing inherently wrong with what he was doing. It was natural. There were several species that played into homosexuality such as peguins. He liked peguins. They mated for life. He hoped one to day to find his own peguin, but until then, he would enjoy life as it came to him, discreetly if course.
His eyes flickered to Félix's mouth then back up to his eyes. Down, then back up. He was fantazing kissing him, what his lips would feel like, how he would feel against Henri. He wanted to dive in, but that was too soon was it not.
He liked to be live in love at first sight, or at least affection and longing. It's where his belief of soylmates came into play, at least a romantic soulmate. It was like you just knew. And Henri knew.
"The underdog," Henri slid his face closer, his lips skimming Félix's cheeks and stopping at his ear, where he whispered. "Unseeming, ordinary at first look, but capable of remarkable things. Someone who shouldn't be underestimated."
His voice had lowered, perhaps almost husky. Just a distraction, he tried lying to himself but he knew better. Je wasn't doing this solely because he wanted a distraction.
No.
It was more than that.

As he brought his fingers back to the side of Henri's face, his mind wandered a little. The question of what he is feeling, especially for Henri, was what stood apparent. Was it love? No, it couldn't be. Well…The word love made his heart feel fuzzy. Heat spread all throughout his chest just thinking about that word.

It makes sense as much as it doesn't make sense. Being in Henri's company was relaxing. Not to mention thrilling too, but he found himself feeling secured just being the two of them. Who know where this could go for them? And yet, so much is holding him back from wanting to know.

He blinked. Noticing Henri staring him, and his lips, he glanced off to the side. His pupils were wide. There butterflies in his stomach. In the corner of his eye, he glimpsed at Henri's lips, just for a second.

Félix tried to tell himself to stop thinking of such silly things, but he can't. Whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, he just can't. Simply the thought of their bodies pressed together is enough to get his heart racing. He knew that kissing Henri would be a grave mistake. It must be. It has to be.

Whenever he tried to stop thinking, it came floating back to him. He can only imagined what it would be like, how it would feel, to kissing Henri. How their lips would feel and move together. In fact, Félix has never kissed anyone before. He always wondered what kissing would be like in the first place.

Henri's lips glided on top of his skin. They felt as smooth as silk. He could feel his heart pounding out of his chest. Félix just barely heard what was being whispered in his ear. It was more than enough to lull him. He closed his eyes while deeply exhaling.

He had to wait for his heart to settle down a little in order to say something. An underdog. Hmm, it made sense to him. "And in this fantasy of ours, what would you be?" He leaned gently into Henri, his head slightly tilted back.

Here, in this moment, all thoughts faded away from Henri. His brother, his parents, his birthright, why he was there. It all faded unto the background until it was a spec of almost nothing. Nothing else mattered, in that moment, other than Félix.
Goosebps raised over his skin at the feeling of his touch. He shivered, not because of the cold, but thrill of it all. It was the thrill thay got him going, the idea of being caught, but this was so much different than his other endeavors had been. It was more. It wouldn't be quick and hot in a sketchy motel. This, he wanted to enjoy. He wanted to be with Félix, and he cursed the world for putting him in a position he couldn't possibly be open about it.
The feel of Félix against him just felt so right. Henri had always been a switch, enjoying both givin and receiving. However, he found he would much enjoy giving everything he could to Félix that was in his power. And that, unfortunately, didn't mean anything more than sneaking around in the dark and wondering touches.
"I'm the charming prince, of course." Henri's lips skimmed again Félix's outer shell of his ear as he murmured.
As Henri pulled his head back, just enough to look at him, a full grin grew on his face now. A hint of teeth were showing, even. His face was so close to Félix, that if either of them even tried to speak, their lips would touch.
Henri wanted to kiss him very badly. Not because he wanted to use Félix as he had everyone recently in life, but because he wanted to be with him. He wanted to kiss him, right then and there. He could imagine it. It would be soft and gentle. And he would end it before it got too heavy.
His hand slid uo his side to cup the side of Félix's face. He had never wanted to kiss someone to badly as he did now.
But he wouldn't.
Not without a sign that he wanted to be kissed.

"A charming prince…I hope in this fantasy, the charming prince and underdog will get along." Félix laughed quietly. His body shivered.

Their lips are at the point of brushing up against each other. Gravity seemed to not have an affect on his feeling of being weightless. An unfamiliar thing was running through his veins, making him feel dazed. Having Henri pressed up against him just feels so right.

He wondered what all of this would mean for the two of them. This would have to be a secret, of course. What about after this moment? What would they be then? All of it has to be a secret for Henri's sake as much as it needs to be for him.

Regardless of being a secret or not, he just hoped that after this, even if they kiss or not, that they can still be together in some shape or form. Félix has never done anything like this. Love or being in a relationship, let alone one kept in secret. All the what-ifs stacked upon each other, making him anxious in the midst of everything else.

His thumb traced the edges of Henri's bottom lip. Félix watched as it slowly glided on top. Time froze. He felt everything slowing down. His Adam's apple bobbed. Félix leaned into Henri's hand. All the thoughts in his mind had fizzled out, except for one.

Henri.

Oh, this must be bad. He wants to be with Henri, even in secret. He wants to know what it feels like to have those lips against his. Even if they kissed and that would be end of it, he didn't care. On the other hand, he doesn't want it to be the end.

Nothing outside of this space between him and Henri matters.