Connor was going to lecture him on how he shouldn't have fallen in love with someone, knowing they would die while he could live on in another life, but he figured now wasn't the time. "Idiot…" He sighed and drank his hot chocolate. "Hey, wait, you never mentioned him to me. Like ever." He thought for a moment. "Okay, so, you said getting a doctor was near impossible, then let's start looking. There has to be something. If I can remember Winston, that means you told me about him in this life where I love you. So, there had to be something to go off of. Even if it's an under-the-table doctor, there has to be something to go off of, you know? Have you heard of anything?" Connor wasn't desperate yet, but being in this apartment felt like home. More than his parent's house did. Connor tied his hair up to look a little more presentable. However, his hair was too short of putting together, so it looked like a tiny ponytail with strands coming down in front of his face.
Has narrowed his eyes at Connor, the more they talked the more Jas wanted to skip into his old habits of teasing and snarky commentary. But he held back. "marrying him was about the smartest thing I did. Besides, it's not like I had many other choices since you hated…hate.. me." He scrubbed his face tiredly and scoffed "you never asked, other than now and the previous life." He countered, rubbing his cats head as they settled to sleep. Good idea Jas thought but he wouldn't sleep, not yet at least. "I heard something a while back. It's not an under-the-table situation but since those who actually need that type of doctor are scarce, not many doctors exist to help. I'll try and find out more soon, maybe suni or mom know someone. Jas glanced at Connor through tired and sad eyes, itching to brush aside the stray strands of hair. Instead, Jas stood and carried his empty mug of chocolate to the sink. "Go home dear. If I find anything out illet you know." He promised, sounding tired and very much defeated after the night he's had.
Connor watched him, concerned. He couldn't bare seeing the look on his face. It looked like everything Jas worked hard for had disappeared. His chest hurt, and he held his cup too tight to the point where he cracked it. Connor shook his head and set the mug down on the counter. He swore to himself he would get to the bottom of this. With Jas looking the way he does, it was hard to believe he was telling the truth. "Okay…I'll leave you to that then." He took a napkin and the nearest pen, writing down his phone number on the napkin. "Call me when you found something or if my attention is needed." Connor didn't get off the counter just yet. He wanted to give Jas something so he would know he was genuinely trying to figure this out. "Jas, come here for a second. Like, stand in front of me. Just trust me, okay?" Connor pushed up his glasses and took a deep breath.
Jas idly nodded, distracted by his cats and his thoughts. Did Connor want this in the first place? Jas had mentioned letting Connor go to live his own life separate from him in their previous life but he hadn't thought it'd come so soon. Nor did jas think it'd ever happen, as selfish as that was. "Yeah, sure." Jas muttered, closing his eyes as he considered, for once in his lives, letting Connor go. It hurt him, it hurt him so much to admit that was a possibility but maybe it'd be good. He wouldn't stop looking for a way to bring Connor's memories back but maybe it'd be good for him to love another. He had done it with Winston. But Winston had been truely special. He doubted he'd find another that could match that kind of love. He cracked his eyes open and arched an eyebrow. "Darling, You're not so short that you can't get yourself down from the counter." He said as he slowly stood and walked to the kitchen, knowing he would never be able to resist Connor, even with his heart broken. He came to stand in front of Connor, just a few inches away. He looked at Connor, analyzing him for what seemed like the first time. The color of his bright eyes, the dark circles underneath that seemed to enhance the color, the turn of his brow, the dip of his lips, lips he had kissed countless times. He quickly moved on to his hair, a different color now though jas could admit it still suited Connor. "With my life." Jas murmured almost automatically. He did mean it too, jas would put his countless lives in Connor's hands without hesitation.
Connor sighed. "I know I can get off the counter genius. I'm the one who put myself of here remember." He looked up to Jas only to catch him staring at his lips and then his hair. He felt a rush go to his cheeks, which made him angry. Stupid muscle memory. "I…I'm not sure how to say this is a way that you will believe me. You're insisting that this life happened. Out of all the things you are. You aren't a liar. You wouldn't lie about something that. So I'm taking a chance on you okay? However, I still don't trust this whole situation, but I'm taking a chance I really hope either of us doesn't fuck it up." Connor put his hand on Jas's head. Started to a pet in between Jas's cat ears. "I will see you at school." He brushed his fingers over his cat's hair. They were really as soft as they looked. He raised another hand and started to touch his other ears. His mouth was a gape as he touched them. He then realized he might've been going a bit too far. "Sorry, kinda just want to pet you. I thought it might give you some reassurance.
Jas huffed a small sigh and nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, hopefully we don't." He glanced up and tried to smile he it was difficult with the everything that's happened that night. "Thank you. For at least entertaining the idea. I imagine it can't be easy hearing we were once we were in love, at least for you." He blinked when he felt Connor touch his head. He closed his eyes and tried his best not to melt on the spot. He shrugged slightly, a soft purr rising from his chest. "Yeah, maybe." He muttered, his purr jumping in volume when Connor moved from touching his head to petting his ears. "I told you you have a thing for my cat ears." Jas sang with a small laugh, gently nuzzling Connor's wrist, stopping short pressing a kiss to his skin. Old habits for hard, he supposed. "You're more than welcome to stay here if you'd like. Or I can accompany you home so you don't have to walk alone." He offered, taking a noticibpe step back. This wasn't his Connor. This wasn't someone he could kiss or pull into a hug anymore without a second thought. Now this was his Connor but from past lives. The one jas clearly loved but would pine from afar.
Connor rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure." He then looked behind Jas to see the night through the window. "I think I'll stay here for the night. I could barely see the street you were on. It's a wonder how I got here in the first place. I can sleep on the couch. It's your home so you should sleep in your own bed. Really, it's fine. I'm the one who barged in here in the first place." Connor hopped off the counter looking down at his wrist. Connor could still feel Jas's breath on his wrist. He could also feel the vibration of Jas's pur. He convinced himself not to think about him because they were supposed to be rivals, not friends. How could I fall in love with someone like him. Just what happened… He slid off his shoes and began to lay on the couch. Connor pulled the blanket from the edge of the couch. He picked up one of the wandering cats and picked up placing them on his stomach. "Is there anything else I should know?"
"yeah it is. Never took you as the reckless one between us, dearest." Jas commented, watching as Connor settled on the couch before he could protest. He sighed softly and found another blanket from his room for an added layer of watch. This was everything Jas had hoped for for years, just in a wrong way.he had found Connor but he did remember loving jas in the previous life. Connor had come to Jas' home made for them to live together in but Connor hated jas and would most likely hate the idea of living together with jas. So jas forced himself to settle for what he had, just he had done every other life. "Ash is a feisty one." Was all jas said, nodding to the cat in Connor's arms before he turned off all the lights in the living room, shifted into his large cat form and curled up beside the fake fireplace with his other cat and closed his eyes, trying to find sleep instead of acknowledging Connor's presence a few feet away.
Connor nodded silently and watched him disappear into his room. He looked at Ash and raised an eyebrow. "He said you're feisty, but I'm not sure that's the word I would use." He delicately touched the top of Ash's head. "Come here, little guy." He turned over onto his side and held Ash close to his chest. Connor, the whole night was sound asleep. Even though they had school tomorrow, he felt he could sleep there all day. Even when morning came and the sun shone directly in his face, he still didn't wake up. You could even catch him snoring from time to time if you listened closely enough. Connor was warm and quiet, and that's all he needed.
When jas woke, his first thought was why did his room smell like Connor? His immediate second thought was Connor was here. Finally he was home with his love. And for a moment, jas let himself revel in the thought that he finally could reconnect with his beloved and start their life together. But then the previous night came crashing back to him that made him never want to wake up. But they had classes and Jas needed tis tart doing research about a doctor that could help Connor. So with mjch reluctance, he stood from his warm spot of the ground, meowing an apology to Winnie and padded to the bathroom to change and get ready for the day. In an hour or so, Jas had made breakfast and packed his school bag for any classes he had that day. He set the plates on the small coffee table in front of the couch and moved to the side of the couch where Connor was still resting. He gently brushed aside his hair but resisted the urge to lean down and kiss him awake, knowing Connor would be mad. He sighed softly and gently nudged his shoulder instead. "Hey, wake up. We have class in an hour." He said softly, gently tugging back the covers and scooping ash up, giving the time cat a warning glare when he started to meow in protest. He set Ash down beside his food and water bowl before settling back on the floor and begining breakfast.
Connor slowly opened his eyes and sat up. He rubbed his eyes as the blankets slid off his shoulders. Everything looked like a blur, partially because he didn't have his glasses. He stood up slowly and looked around. He saw an extremely blurry figure. "Jas…have you seen my glasses?" Connor's eyesight was the worst it's been. Even in other lives, his glasses never had such a thick prescription. He was guaranteed to lose if someone took off his glasses and started fighting with him. "I don't understand why my eyesight is so bad. I mean, this has never happened in any other life." Connor squinted, feeling the table and the couch, and then sighed. He hated having this fight with himself every morning. Connor gave up and began walking to the kitchen. However, he somehow managed to trip over the table.
Jas glanced up at the sound of Connor's voice and quickly chewed through his bite of food before standing and finding Connor's glasses. He handed them over as well as the plate of food. "This is a life for many firsts." Just not the right ones. Jas sighed softly, watching as Winnie padded closer and pressed his muzzle to jas' cheek. Jas purred softly before offering the cat a piece of ham. At the sight of his brother getting ham, Ash trotted over and meowed at Jas. "Jealous thing." Jas cooed softly as he passed him a piece as well. He glanced up at Connor. "What classes do you have today?" He asked, checking his phone quickly for texts from his dad or emails from the school.
Connor put on his glasses, holding the plate in one hand. "Oh. Uhh. Thank you. For the glasses and the food, you didn't have to make me any food. I was probably going to pick something up like I always do. I'm not saying I won't eat it." He sat down across from Jas and started to eat. "Um, I have AP calc, Ap physics, Ap human geography, health, Ap Chinese, and Ap seminar for my first six. Then we have lunch, band, and lastly, financial lit. I feel like I'm taking too many Ap classes. I mean, they're all pretty easy. Why do you want to know? I don't have any tests today if you plan to pull me out of a class. I would prefer you didn't, though, because I'm trying to keep my GPA and not have any missing work." Connor looked around at all the cats. "How come you have so many cats?"
Jsd glared but it was playful. Or as playful as he could get when he had barely slept all night and woken up that early. "I'm not going to take you out of class. I have no intent on screwing up my own grades. Even if I'm not vying for top marks, Id rather not fail my classes." Jas tilted his head in confusion as he udly tan his fingers through Ash's fur. "I wasn't aware two other cats were considered many, dear." He shrugged and pressed a kiss to Ash's nose before standing with his empty plate. "I'm quite proud of myself, actually. I most likely would have taken more if I could. Winnie was the first one I adopted. Poor thing was sleeping among boxes near the edge of the temple when I foud him. Ash came afterwards when I encountered him after my visit to Winston's grave. Feisty little creature had the gall to attack me while I was going home." He chuckled lightly. "Don't think he expected a large black cat but it's what he got. This poor tiny kitten was surviving all alone in the woods before I took him home. Now they're inseparable." He nodded two cats with a fond smile as Ashe trotted over to Winnie and promptly flopped down onto of him and insistantly cuddled.
"I can call you a cab back to your house. You probably need to get your bag and change." Jas said, feeling slightly disappointed. As much as he wanted fir Connor to stay, as much as he wished for Connor to remember their previous life, Jas knew, until they found a doctor, their dream life would never come to be. "Before you go, do you really want me to look for this doctor? I know you don't remember but I once told you I'd let you go and live your life separate from me without a fight if you so wished. Is that sonething you want now that you have no reason to stay with me? I won't look for you, I won't pine for you, I won't try and convince you I'd my love for you, if it's something you want."
Connor put down his fork. "You said you would leave me alone, the part of me that feels like I know it hurts to leave you like that. My brain is telling me to live the life I finally wanted. Now that I found you, in a way, I can't go through my day properly when I see you frown or correct yourself. My brain loved that, but my heart and body wanted to do something different. It sucks. Honestly, I'm never satisfied knowing half the truth, and even then, I still think you're story is bullshit. However, I hate when I don't know something that you do, so yes…Please look into the doctor. I need to know what happened." He stood up from his seat and put his clean plate in the sink. He turned toward Jas. "You don't have to call a cab. I can fly back. I'm not sure anyone will care in this day and age. Thank you for the thought, though. I should head out now."
Jas nodded slowly, haven taken to drying a cup as a way to distract his hands, anything to keep them from dragging through his hair again. “I will, then.” He rasped out “I’ll look for the doctor.” He clenched his jaw and rubbed at the glass a but harder, wanting to shake away the words. Their life together wasn’t worthless, it wasn’t a fantasy only for Jas to live with. It had meant something, it had meant everything. “You don’t have to, you know.” He blurted out, silently chastising himself for wanting to be so good. In a life past, Jas would have happily let Connor be tortured between his mind and body. He would have teased Connor to no end. Bore his heart and soul out to him but not for love, for he knew it wouldn’t have been reciprocated. He would have turned his love into a weapon if only to get a rise out of Connor. He set the glass down before it shattered in his grasp and forced himself to continue. “We don’t have to,” he waved a hand between them, back still to Connor. “Interact. You’ll forget about this or live with it. But you can live your own life. You can find someone else. I won’t look for you until I find a doctor. If that’s what you want later on.” He only looked down when he felt Winnie rub his leg. He scooped the cat up and set him on his shoulders. He nodded silently when Connor spoke again. “Okay.” He whispered softly, fighting to keep back to tears. He offered a slight smile, though he couldn’t find it in himself to feel any happiness. He didn’t offer much else. He didn’t have a single class with Connor, he didn’t see him during lunch, and he didn’t see him after school. At this rate, Jas thought that he wouldn’t see Connor at all in this life and that pained him most of all. He wanted to reach out, just once to say a final goodbye but he kept his hands busy by petting Winnie. “Good luck with your classes.” He muttered, as he forced himself away from the counter and towards his bedroom to pack his backpack for his classes in an hour.
Connor paused as his feet slowly came to a stop. He didn't turn around, nor did he wear a reassuring smile. "You know, I just might. I have longed to share my life with someone other than you all these years. It's going to be great. Maybe I will get into a relationship, marry, and have kids. Hell, maybe I'll even grow old watching my kids have grandkids and sitting on the deck of a nice lake stargazing. That seems like ages from now, but time goes far too quickly for it to be o far away." He walked towards his shoes and slipped them on, placing his hand on the doorknob. "There is one thing that I want you to promise. Don't say no. It's not your choice—no matter where my life ended up or if it's a hundred years from now. If you find that doctor, contact me. You always find me one way or another. I don't care If I'm happy with two kids and I'm Nero sergeant. Contact me. Promise?" What Jas didn't know was that Connor couldn't live knowing there was a life where he was happy. Genuinely happy for you and the first time. Without having thoughts and memories even if he didn't love Jas anymore. To know what that felt like meant everything to him. "If you even think about hesitating, I will chop your head off for even thinking I don't want to know."
Jas paused by his bedroom door, tempted to hide in his bed with his two cats and his loneliness and slam the door shut on this life. He wanted, so badly to both hide and whirl back around and yell at Connor that his dream life was also Jas' he wanted to marry Connor, he wanted kids with him, he wanted to grow old and watch their kids grow and show Connor an eternity of undebyable love. As selfish as it was, Jas wanted Connor to choose him to spend the rest of his life with. But Jas' knew exactly how it felt wanting something more than their eternity together. He had loved Winston more than anything. He still did. And he was beyond glad he had been given the chance to love someone else so fiercly. So Jas kept that to himself. He shoved down that want and the jealousy and kept his mouth shut, for fear of losing Connor more. But oh dear God it was hard for him to comply with Connor's next request. Threat was the better word for it if Jas cared. Why did he have to be the one to do the work? To constantly remind himself of Connors hatred all because he couldn't remember their one life they were in love? Who knew how long that'd last? Years? Lives? Could jas do that after he's had a taste of his dream? He knew the answer before he even answered. "Sure, dear." Jas muttered, pushing open his bedroom door and nearly collapsing back into bed. All Connor needed to know was that he'd look and contact him eventually, not that he could wait to tell Connor even if he found a doctor beforehand. He could deal with Connor's wrath. He had before. Before they had fallen in love, at least. How hard would it be now.
Connor didn't look back, slamming the door behind him. He left the building and took off for his house. That was the last time he would see Jas for a while. Who knows how long until they interact. Even though they went to the same school, they didn't have any classes together or cross each other's paths. Connor flew into his window and started getting dressed. Connor looked at his desk of unfinished homework and sighed. he quickly finished up the problems before heading downstairs for breakfast. "Hey, mom."
"So, where did you go last night?" Connor's mom poured pancakes on the stove and then turned toward Connor. His mother's questioning look made him stop reaching for a pancake.
"I went to go see an old enemy of mine. Of course, I don't think we're like enemies anymore, but we both agreed never to see each other again unless it was urgent. One part of me is okay with that, and the other not so much, but such is life. Life must go on." Connor grabbed the pancake and ate half of it as he was prepared to leave for school.
"So, you like him?"
He coughed, causing him to choke on his pancake. "I do not! At least, I don't think I do. I mean, he's caring, funny, and handsome, but the thing he did, mom. How can I ever date someone I've hated forever?" Connor's mom looked confused.
"I'm not so sure about forever, but there is this thing called enemies to lovers trope. That's what I'm getting out of all of this. Just tell me when you leave the house next time. Now get to school before not allowed out of the house at all." Connor chuckled and left the house, and made his way to school.
If there were anything he loved about this life, it would be his mom. He loved her more than anything. She was funny, supportive, and didn't give a crap when he fooled around. She would always give him the lecture that she used to fool around with when she was Connor's age. Then the conversation would end up talking about his dad. Connor's dad had passed away before he was born. His mom said it was from some cancer. Even though it was just her and Connor, he didn't mind. That was all he needed anyway. Besides, maybe this day won't be so bad. A very handsome guy sat next to him in his Ap Calc class. Surprisingly he was wearing a varsity jacket. Maybe he could live his life. The way he hoped it would be.
(Connor's mom is on board, love her)
After spending what felt like hours of choking on sobs, and hating himself, jas reluctantly got out of his bed and changed for class. He pulled on a plain black shirt and a pair of jeans. To anyone who didn't know him, he was just one of alt kids, to be fair they weren't wrong, Jas hung out with many of them and we're friends with some but Jas loved and lived to subvert expectation. While most teachers and students thought him to be a slacker, sitting in the back of the class seemingly listening to music, he'd often surprised them with his enthusiastic participation and, while not perfect, decently good grades. But today, jas wanted to fall abck into old habits. He wanted to do something rebellious. He wanted to do something dangerous. Just to feel something other than the aching pain in his chest. He knocked on his dad's door and let himself inside, finding his dad enjoying breakfast. "Aren't you supposed to be in school, tom cat?" He asked, voice gravely from sleep but warm. Jas settked across from his and shrugged. "I saw Connor yesterday." He said, ignoring the question for now. Jas'dad paused. "That's good, no?" He asked softly. Jas shook his head, trying to shake off the urge to cry as well. "He doesn't remember anything from our past life. Or more specifically, he doesn't remember anything involving us. He remembers you and mom and suni. He even remembers Winston. But it's like something is keeping him from remembering us." His voice cracked for a moment. Jas' dad quickly stood and embraced his son, "it's not your fault, Jas." He murmured softly, following as Jas crumpled to the ground, grieving a life onoy he was allowed to remember. Once Jas recovered enough to stand without a support, jas' dad called the school, saying that Jas would be out for the next week.
(Time skip to a few years later?)
(Yeah, I can do a time skip, and thanks Connor's mom is someone that I have had planned out for a while.)
"Hey, honey, could you pass me the salt, please. I'm a bit busy here. Also, can you please get Asher to stop running around the house like a mad man?" Connor's hair had grown out quite a bit. He had it up in a ponytail, but it still was a little long. Still very much still purple. "Yeah, of course." Jake kissed him on the cheek, sliding the Walt and taking their 3-year-old daughter away from Connor's hold. "You know you could ask me to take care of the kids while you cook. I know I'm working, but there is never a time where I won't be able to help you out, you know?" Jake wrapped his free arm around Connor's waist. "I will take care of Charlotte and Asher; you take care of dinner. Later, when they're sound asleep-" Jake smirked, and Connor pushed his face away. "You need a filter, Mister. I cannot take up your little flirtatious self right now…." He mumbled as Jake pulled him into a kiss. It almost made him forget that he was supposed to be cooking right now until Asher ran in between their legs. "Go handle the kids like you said you would. I'm almost done with dinner."
Connor's life had been going pretty smoothly. No Jas, no worries, and no text about finding something about his memories. He lived in the same apartment that he did in later life. However, he didn't know that. It was a place he had bought for himself after he engineered something that made him rich. He didn't need all the money in the world, just enough to support him. That guy in the varsity Jacket was now his husband. They went to separate schools but lived in a small apartment room together since their schools were close to each other. He had two kids, Charlotte and Asher. For the first time in lives, he finally was content and happy.
Jas' life…or lack there of had been okay. Lonely but okay. He had lived with his dad or a roommate for most of his highschool and early college life. Once he had finished community college, jas had decided to study the rest of his college career abroad in Italy. The money he had saved for lives now, the money he had saved to use for his dream life with Connor and him, was now going to be used for his education. He had enough to move there and attend a college as well as to bring his dad with him. But education and a new start without Connor wasn't the only reason he had wanted to move to Italy. He had heard of an immortalist, apparently thats what Connor and him were called, doctor in the area. Jas hadn't bothered to reach out to Connor not wanting to disturb him, but more to not disturb the peace Jas had found for himself. The last time Jas had reached out to Connor was when he found out he was getting married. All he had sent was a simple card with a bouquet of flowers and a few plushes for the kids. That had been years ago. Now, Jas was working as a guitarist for a fairly popular band in Italy that was slowly making its way around Europe as well as the states and had no need to reach out to Connor…until now…or at least soon. And jas truly did dread that. Right now, Jas was sitting in a cafe sipping at a strong cup of espresso, watching as people milled around him, giving him equally inquisitive looks. He understood, though, with his bright green eyes rimmed in black and his violet hair, his black ears poking through and twitching curiously. "J-jasper? Jasper Lockheart?" Has snapped his head up at his full name on a young male's voice. No one called him Jasper. Not unless they didn't know him. But he couldn't bring himself to correct the man in front of him with striking white hair paired with rediah eyes Jas had only seen once in his lives. "Winston?" Jas whispered nearly stumbling as he stood from his chair.
(I kid you not. While reading this, I was at my friend's house watching a movie, and then I read the end. I leaped out of my friend's lap and was like WINSTON'S BACK?!?! They were like wtf Winston, and then I sat back, but some drama is about to happen.)
Connor had finished the food and set them out on the table. "Hey, I'm going to be right back. I'm going to get a coffee. I didn't make my usual morning run since you decided to keep me in bed for 30 minutes while you serrated me. Jake scoffed and kissed Connor's cheek. "Don't worry; I'll leave some food. Maybe you'll get dessert if you're fast enough." Connor rolled his eyes and walked to his usual cafe. It was fancy, but it wasn't some rundown Dunken Donuts either. Usually, he would go on a morning run, then come to the cafe and walk back drinking his coffee before Jake woke up. However, today was not the case. I wonder how he's doing…Why should I be worried about some low-life like him? It's been years; Connor pull it together. Why does a part of me hope he found something every day? Jas never once texted me… Connor clicked his tongue walking into the store. He was so lost in thought that he blindly waited in line. He's been there so often that Connor can pull out his card and put in his order. He was still wearing his glasses from high school since they were more natural than contact lenses. Connor smiled at the cashier as they put in his order. He swiped his card and waited by where the baristas put out the drinks. Connor took this time to wait as he always did. That was when he spotted him. Jas in the flesh, but he wasn't alone. He was talking with someone. Connor recognized him; it was Winston. His past husband, but he thought he was dead, like gone forever dead. Connor took a deep breath and just stared. He couldn't believe it. So many things were going through his head. He wanted to call Jas's name but, at the same time, rip his hair out and pour his coffee on him. Instead, he just stared.
(awe😅 I'm sorry to your friend for surprising them out of nowhere😂)
The man blinked in surprise before gasping softly and shaking his head quickly, gesturing towards the table. Jas numbly followed unable to keep his eyes off of him as if in a trance. This was his Winston. Alive and seemingly well and with him again. "You look exactly the same as the pictures," his Winston said, setting down a bag and pulling out a picture, the same one Jas had had for years. Jas nearly cried, all he wanted to do was take Winston away from here, back to Italy where they could catch up and finally be together again. "I look a lot like him, huh?" Jas' head snapped up In confusion. "Everyone always told me I looked like my four times great uncle Winston." Then it dawned on him, this couldn't possibly be Winston. As much as Jas hoped and prayed Winston was like him and Connor, Winston wasn't immortal. He wasn't going to come back. "My name is Finn." Jas wet his lips and managed to take Finn's outstretched hand. "Jas, please call me jas." Jas' voice was strained, he could barely get a word out. This life was truly made to torture him wasn't it? First losing Connor then latting him think he found Winston. He wasn't sure he could take much more if this. "I really am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Finn said softly, seeing tears streaming from Jas' eyes a moment before Jas' realized he had started crying. Jas' quickly wiped away tears with his sleeve and gave a pitiful laugh. "No, please don't apologies dear. I shouldn't have assumed. It is truely remarkable how you two look alike." Now that Jas was thinking a bit more clearly, Jas could see small differences in Finn. The turn of his lips was different than Winston's and where Winston has a smattering of freckles across his arms, Jas could see none on Finn's. "We still talk about you both. Always telling stories about Uncle Winston and Jas." Finn laughed "it's honestly a little weird meeting my great great great great uncle but I'm glad." Jas nodded "I'm glad to have finally met my great great great great nephew." Finn smiled, just like his Winston. "As much as I'd love to catch up about Winston, you contacted me about something else, right?" Finn promoted gently. Has nodded again, "yeah, yes I did." Jas sighed, running a hand through his hair and ears before telling Finn about Connor and their lives, patiently answering questions and any inquiries Finn had, which were a lot.
(Nah ur good XD)
Connor turned towards the counter, sighing in relief. He rested his face in his hands. Why was he so angry. It was just a random person in Winston's heritage. There's no way it could've been him. The lady must have called his name about a hundred times before Connor snapped out of it. He looked up and took the cup with a smile. "Sorry, just lost in thought." He didn't leave just yet. He could barely move if he were being honest. Connor was still caught up in his thoughts as to why he was so angry. He never got this way with Jake, so why should he get this way about Jas. Yeah, he hated his guts, but this anger was different. Jealousy maybe? Connor scoffed, tightening his grip around the hot to-go cup of coffee. "As if I could be jealous of someone who had nothing to do with me. I don't even know him." Connor's jaw pushed together, creating a visible vein on his neck.
"Sir…" He wasn't listening to anything around him at the moment, so the multiple warnings of the workers around him didn't matter. "Little shit. I have a loving husband and two kids. Why do I care about some…" he whispered, squeezing coffee out of the cup onto the lovely lady who made it for him. "Connor!" He looked up, seeing coffee all over the worker. "Shit, I am so sorry. Here let me help you. Do you need anything? I didn't mean to splash coffee on you like that. I swear, you know I would never do that. Shit! I'm not really in the right mindset right now. I could take over if you need an extra worker." He was pleading at this point. He hasn't done this before, so why would he start now.
"Listen, I'll you off because you never do this, but please. When you get angry, leave the store and shoot coffee at someone else. Besides, what the hell is on your mind to make you do that?" Conor leaned forwards and nodded his head towards Jas. Samantha rolled her eyes. "So you are aware there is this thing called talking-" Connor punched her in the shoulder. "What? I'm saying instead of splashing coffee on my employees, why not just talk to him about your feelings.." Connor squinted his eyes. " I am married, Sam. I can't just. Besides, I hate him. Why would I talk to him about anything?" Samantha rolled her eyes, handing him another coffee order. "You need to work out your issues, man. How about you go home to your loving husband and tell him who you saw today, or will you lie again and say you were talking with your cousin?" Connor gasped. "When have I ever-" "Wedding." Connor clicked his tongue. "Whatever, you have nothing on me."
“So in this life, he’s able to remember almost everything in his past life, save for you and him ever falling in love?” Finn asked, nodding slightly as he wrote a few notes a little notebook he had pulled out from his bag. Jas nodded slowly, “Yeah, he told me before we parted ways that it was like his body and mind were at war.” Jas explained softly, gaze flickering up to Finn’s and finding a look of sympathy. “You really do love him?” He asked softly “after everything you’ve told me, I would have probably left him ages ago.” Jas laughed softly, and shrugged. “Its always been him and me. Other than my life with Winston, we’ve always been together. As much as he hates it. We never seem to leave each other alone, either me pining for him or him tracking me down for a fight or for an unprovoked emotional torture session. We always found each other. Do you have someone like that, Finn? Someone you’d live and die for over and over again just to see them again?” Jas asked, momentarily flicking his gaze up to find Connor staring back at them, hand stained with coffee. Jas’ immediate reaction was to help him, find a damp towel and tend to his wounded hand. But it wasn’t his place, not anymore. Connor had a husband and two beautiful kids. As much as it pained him, Jas glared away to focus on his own family for once. Finn was his family now, the closest thing he had to Winston in ages and he’d be damned if he shoved that aside for a man who, save for one life, never cared about him. Jas glanced back just to catch a very red and flustered Finn hiding his growing smile behind one hand. “I do actually, and I can’t believe its taken me this long to admit that.” finn took a deep breath and fanned his face with his hand. “His name is Logan, and he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.” Finn said wistfully. “I’d love for you to meet him one day. Maybe we could all vacation back to Italy or wherever you’d like as a thank you for helping with you and Connor?” Finn offered with a smile. Jas shook his head, and for what had seemed like ages, smiled back, a truly happy smile. “I’d love to meet your Logan. We can plan a trip anywhere if you so please.” He encouraged, slowly standing. “As for my situation,” he flicked his gaze to Connor before dropping it again, a rueful smile on his lips that turned gentle when he looked back at Finn. “It can wait for now.” He reassured, helping Finn with his things and guiding him out of the cafe, this time, without feeling sorry for himself.
After cleaning up his hand and ensuring he didn't get burned, he exited the bathroom. He got a funny look from Samantha as she nodded towards the door Jas was exiting out of. Connor rolled his eyes and left the cafe as well. He stood at the light and waited to cross. Connor took a sip of the Coffee, hissing from how hot it was. He shook his head and took another sip anyway. It still tasted just as good with a burnt tongue. He looked around and spotted Jas again. His gaze flickered between Jas and the crosswalk. Through those minutes of him being confused and not sure what to do, he followed Jas. Instead of going home, he followed him. When he caught up, he wasn't sure what to say. Conor cleared his throat and tapped Jas's shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second? It's not anything important, well, it is, but not really. " he looked to the ground and then back to Jas. "I'm rambling now, but can I please have a fraction of your time. It's about what we agreed on in high school, and I just want to check in with you since you never did with me and all of that jazz."
Jas ilentoy swore under his breath, having hoped they'd gotten far enough to lose Connor. "You go ahead, I'll catch up in a minute." He said to Finn. The man nodded, took a peek at Connor and then walked to a nearby ship to look around while the two talked. He slowly turned around, arms crossing over his chest. He took a long look at Connor, unsurprised to see not much had changed about him. His eyes were still bright and his hair was as wild as ever in an adorable way. Has frowned slightly. He wanted to deny Connor anymore if his time. He had spent countless of lives, including this one giving him his time, Connor invaded his dreams and his thoughts, even if Jas had managed to get away from him physically. Connor still had Jas' heart. "Well," jas sighed, leaning against a nearby wall. "Considering you are now married and have two kids to look after, I didn't think you'd want me checking in like a nagging parent. I don't need to torture myself more than I already am." He said dryly, "besides, I've been busy, what with my life in Italy and visiting Suni. He says hello and congratulations by the way." Suni hadn't actually said that but has figured it was better than saying that Suni had cursed Connor a life of misfortune. Thankfully Suni was only and 8 tailed fox, else Jas would have to worry about a kitsune's wrath ontop of everything else. Jas chuckled to himself before shrugging. "I'm fine, Connor. But that's not what you're concerned about, is it?" Jas questioned, emerald eyes narrowing. "If you mean your memories and the doctor, I'm working on it." He explained with the same emotionless tone as he jerked his head back towards the shop Finn had disappeared into. "Now if that's all, I need to get going. As do you. I'm sure Jake and your kids are waiting. I doubt you want to explain to them how you ran into your cousin again out of the blue." Was Jas jabbing? Yes. Did he care? Not particularly, though he did ignore the ache in his heart at seeing Connor again after so long. But he didn't want to talk, not after so long of avoiding Connor, ignoring the fact that he had made a life for himself without Jas. He didn't want to talk but he didn't want to leave, it's why he stayed in place for a few moments to let Connor gather his thoughts.
Connor's nose twitched, and his eyes were glowing. He didn't seem to notice, though. "Listen, that…" He scoffed. He backed up and held his hand over his mouth. It was taking everything in his body possible not to kick Jas where the sun doesn't shine. "Just because I lost my memories does not give you the right to be a dick. I was trying to get some information that could be helpful to me and my messed up memory." Connor clicked his tongue. "I thought I could finally just talk to you. Guess that was a bust too. I'm still not sure how I managed to love you." Connor squeezed his coffee cup again, crating a burn on the other hand that wasn't currently aching. "Every day, I wake up, lying next to a man I love and two kids running around so early in the morning for all of that not to be enough. Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten what you're going in there for? Yeah, it's like that every day for me, alright? Every day I wake up, I ask myself what I am living for? Honestly, I don't even know anymore. It is my kids, my husband, or you? My brain can't seem to pick one." Connor Connor walked toward Jas again with a broken coffee cup. Connor placed a hand next to Jas's head, even though he was surprised how tall he had gotten enough to reach Jas's height. "I wish I could punch you right now, and if I were still a hero, I could do it. You're living in my brain rent-free, you think I like it any more than you do? I just wanted to ask for an update, but here I am yelling at your stupid, hot face."
Jas gave a sharp laugh, "oh no, dearest? After countless lives of taking your shit? All for what? Huh? I was your emotional and often physical punching bag for lives now, all because you couldn't figure out your own issues, all because you blamed me for something neither of us could not control! At least I tried to make the best of it, I wanted to love you, and I did, I still do, because as much as I hate to admit it, if I ever fell in love with anyone else it'd break me. Break me so deeply I wouldn't recover. I found Winston, I adored him more than I could say, despite me knowing we wouldn't last nearly as long as hoped it would." Jas was breathing heavily, hot angry tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at Connor. He stiffened when Connor backed him against a wall, "finally, you're starting to see things from my perspective." Jas growled softly, leaning in close so that he and Connor were inches apart. Each night I relive that life we spent together, and each morning I wake up confused as to why you're in my bed where I can guarantee you are safe and loved." He laughed again and immedialy rounded on Connor, grabbing both his hands and pinning them at his side. "If you really want an update fine." He leaned in dangerously close and dripped his voice. "I've been living in Italy fir the past 3 years trying to distract myself from you, trying to create a life for mysf that doesn't revolve around you. I'd managed to do that until I came here. What was meant to be a short visit to see Suni and Mom has now turned into an interrogation session with the last person on earth I want to see. Thankfully not everything has been ruined since I managed to find someone who might be able to restore your memory. Though now I'm considering not doing any of that since you seem so determined to remain in your current state of pissed off." Jas shoved himself away and ran a desperate hand through his hair. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath in.
