forum Soup Cult (Chowder and Stew welcom)

Started November 04, 2021 by @Otto_OtterOverlord

tune

Aethea: pokes potato
Aethea: sets fire to potato
Kek: You EAT IT. IT'S FOOD.
Aethea: eats burning potato
Gino: That's not how- y'know what, never mind. Burn your mouth. Do us all a favour.

Addic: face palms

Epsilon: Have you learned from the potat, pyro?

(clarification: Like many Deathborns and Legacies, Corrin included, Aethea uses "Death" as Kek does "Disneyland". She is not calling anyone Death.)

Aethea: spits out potato
Aethea: Okay that hurts. Potatoes are ruthless.

Addic: tosses another potato try putting the fire out this time.

Aethea: sets it on fire and puts the fire out by stomping on it
Kek: Gods why is this so hard for you-
Gino: Now you DON'T eat it.

Epsilon: …

Addic: tosses another another potato Don't smash it. Just blow on it.

Kek: This is at the same time funny and infuriating to watch.
Gino: I feel sorry for teh potato.

Addic: Me, too, It deserved better.

Epsilon: so many… potat… all burned… starts crying

Addic: hey, hey, It's ok. pats Epsilon's back

Epsilon: blinks in and out of existence as Addic's hand passes through them. Thanks, my guy. But Nothing can save those poor potat souls from their undeserved death.

Aethea: So what do I do with it if I can't eat it but I'm supposed to eat it?
Gino: Take potat. Burn it. BLOW OUT THE FIRE. Eat potat. Huzzah.
Aethea: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Addic: I know buddy, I know. EAT THE DAMN POTATO ALREDY!!

Aethea: does exactly what Gino said
Aethea: eats potat
Kek: That took WAY LONGER than I thought was POSSIBLE.

Epsilon: glowing BEFORE I EAT YOU, please!

Addic: … Well?

Aethea: Potatoes are good. And confusing.
Aethea: And if you ate me then I would either come back to life because of eitehr Crimson or Envy, OR I would haunt you for the rest of your days and frame you for all sorts of stuff and make sure that you can never be-
Kek: Okaaaaaaay, that's enough of that.

Addic: would you like another?

Epsilon: Ignores Aethea More potat!! For meee!
(I literally just made up Ep and I have no idea who or what they are, so If you have any ideas before I come up with a stupid one that would be quite helpful :')

(a figure in a dream)

Addic: tosses potato

(okee)

Epsilon: yayy!! Bites potat with sharp teeth

Aethea: GIMME ANOTHER ONE I WILL MASTER THE ART OF EATING POTATS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
Gino: This is scary. You don't MASTER potats. You just EAT them.
Aethea: blinks But in eating them I'm establishing fear that I will later use to lead them into war against whoever opposes me!
Gino: You need help.

Addic:…

Corrin: I second that!
Gino: I fourth that!
Corrin:
Gino: Wait… I third that!

Addic: All in favour?
Eye!

Epsilon: mouth full of potato* Nine!!

Hope: almost crying

Addic: crud, walks over to Hope Hey, what's wrong?