forum I'm in the mood for another apocalypse roleplay... (CLOSED for now, welcome to stalk)

Started March 06, 2021 by @Becfromthedead group

tune

Aspen made sure Kas was settled and then wandered down the halls, touching the walls as she walked slowly.

She gave a small, sad sigh, the memories of her mother rushing back to her, the smell of her lavender perfume, the way her accent shone through when she said certain words, her bright blue eyes and the way they twinkled when she got excited.

She covered her face with her hands and leaned against a wall, sliding down until she was in a sitting position.

Lilac continued to hold Mori close as she stayed quiet. She brushed her fingers through his hair. Bean walked over to Aspen, sitting next to her. She hugged her. Luka took a deep breath before walking over to one of the empty rooms. He sat down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Lis was running around, checking to see if everyone had what they needed. Aspen had Bean at her side. She appeared upset, but at least she had the company.
She found herself going back to Mori and Lilac, and she sat down next to them, wrapping her arms around both kids.
"Hey, look, I know this has been scary, but we're gonna make it. Looks like we're going to crash in this town for some time while everyone gets better, and it'll be okay. You've got a lot of us to help now."

Tohru was sitting silently, still trying to sort things out. Yet, the more he thought, the more guilty and scared he became. He felt like he was reliving what happened a few weeks ago. It was really his first time mulling over it this hard, and his first time having a flashback.
At this point, a couple of people from the original group had died. One got mauled by a zombie and was lucky enough to escape the fate that was transformation. Another died from a serious leg infection following an injury. A third died from friendly fire; someone had been trying to shoot a zombie, but they missed. Things were already going downhill when Noah started getting sick. He was just feverish and unwell at first. Tohru tried to convince himself that it was just some regular sickness, and not the zombie infection. Yet, things started growing worse. More people were dying off, order was disintegrating, and everyone was scared suddenly and became more self-serving than was healthy in this situation. And then there were two. Just Tohru and Noah. And they both knew Noah's fate.
It was about a week since Noah had started showing symptoms. His joints hurt so badly he could barely move. Daylight was unbearable and triggered migraines. He had been coughing up blood for days, and a few discolored, necrotic splotches had appeared on his hands and legs. Yet, Tohru still tried to hang on. He kept taking care of Noah, bringing him meals and water, and keeping him company even when everyone remaining had left them behind, screaming at Tohru that he was trying to save a dead man.
But finally, Noah accepted this was over. That if he didn't end it himself, he would be among the infected and go on to hurt, infect, and even kill people. He asked Tohru to finish the job; he couldn't even move his limbs well enough to shoot himself.
It hurt. It hurt so bad. Tohru had to look away as he pulled the trigger. He was too scared to look at the body. Never gave Noah a proper burial. He walked away, shocked, exhausted, scared to death.
Yet, he couldn't find it in himself to cry, he was so numb. And he never cried over Noah's death or mourned properly. That's why it was all hitting now.
Tohru tried to fight off the memories, but failed. He bit down on his lip, unconscious of what he was doing until it bled. He felt that same odd choking sensation that he had during the panic attack yesterday, that same heaviness on his chest.
He suddenly grabbed for Levi's hand without thinking. After all, Levi had helped him before. It was only natural. His breath hitched a little bit as he tried to take deep, slow breaths.

"Oh hey, you okay?" Levi said, swinging his body around to face Tohru, crossing his legs over his. He took his other hand and gave them a light squeeze. "Another panic, or something else?" He asked, his voice low so the others couldn't hear and freak out. "How can I help?"

"It's not as bad as the other day but I-I don't know… Yeah… maybe," Tohru whispered back, tightening his grip on the other's hands.
He lowered his head a bit.
"I can't stop thinking about all the shit that happened. It's finally catching up with me, I think. I most certainly don't feel… well…"
With Levi's hands in his, he was able to better stave off the worst of it, though his chest still felt heavy.

Aspen sat quietly, her head slumped lazily against a wall as she tried to overcome the dreadful feeling of being back in the hospital.

Its not about you, we're doing this for the others, so they have a safe place to sleep and get supplies she thought to herself, she fiddled with her shirt, the hem coming undone intensely.

She then started picking at a loose string hanging from her pants.

Mori held the plush bird he'd been given close to himself, his eyes shining with tears. "I…" He began, swallowing nervously and avoiding eye contact with anyone. "I-I'm sorry…" He whispered. "For… uhm… c-causing problems…"

Lilac hugged him close. "Don't worry about it…" she smiled, ruffling his hair. She wiped his tears.

Lis leaned down next to Mori and held his hand.
"Baby, you're alright. You're not causing any more problems than the rest of us. I promise that. And if you're worried about feeling useless, we can teach you some survival skills, or cooking, or something like that. None of us were born knowing those things. And being as scared as you are is okay. We’re here to back each other up. And I mean everyone is willing to do that for everyone else here."
She gave a bright smile, leaving her hand outstretched over his.
"We've found this town to stay in for a bit. We'll have the time and safety to let everyone get better. Things will be okay."

(Oop-)
Mori looked up at Lis with tears welling up in his eyes. His face was still rather pale, and his trembling had never stopped. His insides still felt tight and twisted with fear, and he could hardly think with the state his head was in. His vision was blurred, although he couldn't say whether it was the tears or the concussion, or some combination of the two. After a few seconds of processing everything, he tightly gripped Lis' hand and hiccuped, a couple of tears rolling down his pallid cheeks. "T… T-Thank you…"

"Of course, love," Lis replied softly, leaning in to give Mori a hug.
"If there's anything you need, you can ask someone here. Heck, you can ask me. That's what we're here for. And if you ever need a hug or someone to hold your hand, or anything like that, you can come to me. You don't even need to ask."
(Read: I'm your mother now <3)

Levi shifted even closer to Tohru, "Hey, that's okay. We, uh, we can work it out together if you want. Or we can just sit here together. That's okay too." He said softly, lifting their held together hands onto his lap.

Tohru closed his eyes, trying to focus on the touch of Levi's hands over anything else he might be feeling.
"It might be for the best that I let it out, so I-I… I'll try…"
Once again, his mouth felt horribly dry as he tried to search for the words to say. Yet, he found himself able to recount some of his story- at least the parts that mattered:
The group he'd started out with started getting ripped apart, his boyfriend of over two years at that point becoming infected, being left behind by the rest of the group who thought he was insane for trying to save a dead man, and him watching Noah deteriorate, then ultimately having to off him.
By the time Tohru finished explaining, he was in tears again. He distractedly rubbed circles into Levi's hands with his thumbs.
"So that's… that's what happened," Tohru whispered, "Not that anyone can do anything about it now that they know."

Aspen sat quietly, Arlo nuzzled his head into her hand, then nipped her in the finger with his beak.
"Ow" she said quietly, her voice extremely throated and low.

She outstretched her two index fingers then Arlo fluttered up and rested on one, a few seconds later her flew to the other, and then repeated the process over and over, maybe doing a slight trick in between the distance, Aspen watched this in awe, giving small giggles as he tried to show off.

Mori nodded and buried his face in Lis' shoulder, hugging her tightly in return. He was still crying softly, but he was more relaxed. He felt a bit calmer. Safer. "I-I just… we… w-we keep finding more p-people and they're— always h-hurt and— I c-can't— I just don't… who's gonna get hurt next??" He hiccuped, trying to form coherent sentences. "A-And the zombies— keep chasing us— and I-I'm useless and just dragging— everyone down…"

Bean leaned her head against Aspen, smiling softly. Lilac rubbed Mori’s back. “You’re not useless,” she told him, trying to comfort him. “And people get hurt…that’s life.”

Aspen watched Arlo continue to flutter, her smile widening with each jump.
Arlo soon stopped and fluttered to the ground, nustling his head against the hand Aspen had laying on the ground.

"Awh does someone want affection?" she asked the small bird quietly.

She scooped him into the palm of her hands and brought him closer to her face, here he nuzzled his beak into her cheek, she gave a soft giggle.

Levi visibly shivered, "Oh-" Not knowing what else to do, he grabbed the back of of Tohru's neck and pulled him into a hug. "That's awful. I can't even imagine what that would feel like. We can make sure it never happens again." Secretly, he was crying behind Tohru's back but he wasn't going to let him know that.

(it's pretty weak but it's the best I can do)

(It looks fine to me!)
Tohru sank into the hug, almost at a loss for words. He just about went limp in the other’s arms, not able to handle all the emotions he was feeling.
"Never happens again…" he echoed softly.
Biting back another sob and trembling violently at the effort, Tohru said, "I don't mean to burden any of you. I just- I needed that off my chest… I'd not spoken to anyone about it until today. A-and I'm still trying to make sense of it all."