forum POEMS post 'em here my friends!

Started February 07, 2019 by @ember-chan-will-never-forget-you

tune

trigger warning,, ed and self harm and slight gore

is there something on my face? something that is trembling and holding? yes that is what i have come to call a smile is it too sad for you too scared? i am sorry but it is the best i can do. oh that? that is the scar i gave myself because you did not otherwise look in my direction. but look at my smile, you will get used to it, i am happy. i am stronger than i look, i promise. oh that? that is a bone reaching for you, ripping through my arm to breathe the air and see you for itself. no it is alright, i will set it when i get home, bury myself in plaster and lay there until i starve. oh that? that is nothing, simply the skin peeling off the feet that have walked a hundred years to arrive at this party, this place of people and drinking and lights, that is simply the skin clinging to my raw flesh in the hopes that i will walk into someone that will take me home. no, that's alright, there is salt and vinegar at home. oh that? that is nothing but the blood on my lips and nails and cheeks, it makes me look alive, and sexy, do you not think? red nails, red lips, rouge on the cheeks and fresh virgin blood! that is what i have been told. am i beautiful? thats a shame, i really did try. oh that? that is actually the teeth that have fallen out of my head chewing on the sweet words you seem to offer me every time we see each other. i know, sweets have no nutrition, they dont bring anything or mean anything, but god they taste so good when you give them to me. are they unpleasant to feel when we kiss, the teeth rotted by your empty sugar words? thats alright, i think i have a hammer at home. come on, i'll go get cleaned up. oh that? i had forgotten that. that is the first dress i ever wore. it is pink and frilly and puffy, it glitters and spins when i walk. it did not show off my legs or make me skinny or dip too far down my chest. don't worry, it doesn't have to stay. ill take it out tomorrow.

A sea of sound.
I am a rock
A stone sinking in the sea
An ocean sound
Above
Below
and all around me

Grasping at waves
As I softly sink
Stretching
Reaching
Yet nothing holds me

Lost and blind
My tears
My cries
To deaf ears they fall.

Two silhouettes walking in the night
Only knowing that of each other
Leaves that fall to their feet go unnoticed.
For what is their world, is only one other

hey everyone! I'm moving my poetry posting to instagram @ angelfish.eyes.poetry (I'd appreciate interactions and follows but no pressure ofc ofc) I'm also deleting my works from this forum :)

I'm bored, here goes
never shared poetry online so I hope yall like it haha

*

I'm walking like a drunken man
Into the sun
Until the world goes dark
Or my mind won't light

*

I will look into the mirror today
And plunge into the reflection
It will shatter and through the remnants
I'll check the vital signs in my eyes

(Don’t know if anyone still reads these but uh… yeah I need a place to vent.)

---

What Is the Difference Between a Prescribed Bottle of Medication and a Depressed Medical Student?

(With Inspiration from “What Does Your Heart Say?”)

“Follow your hearts,” they say.
“Just do what you love and you won’t work a day.”
But the path splits down the middle,
I’m trying my best but it’s still a little—
—too low.

“Follow your dreams,” they preach.
Silly life lessons so easy to teach.
But life is uncertain and crazy.
I love the surprise, but sometimes it’s a little—
—too much.

I know the path I chose was hard.
Yet I, wake up to feel this ache in my heart.
There’s a beating, keep beating, BP 100, 120,
I don’t know why I am like this…

When the path that was chosen was mine… to begin with.

I keep
Walking down the same old path,
Past the same old shops, past the same old block
Everyday at 7:30.
It’s a little too early for me but I’m still fine.
After all, I can’t control time.

And I keep
Walking down the same old path everyday.
I keep
Seeing the same old faces greet me everyday.
And yeah I feel somewhat happy.
Just a wave and a smile is enough
To keep me from… giving up.

But oh… life loves its irony.

‘Cause I—
Drug myself with caffeine every morning
To learn how caffeine will fuck up my head.

Go to class with four hours of sleep.
Just to learn that they recommend eight.

I eat my meals at lightning speed
To be told that my stomach will be fucked one day.

I don’t smoke, I don’t vape, I don’t drink,
“I don’t care you will die anyway.”

So… what?

Is that it?

Do I need to understand these words and abbreviations to a tea
Just to tell my patient
To wish to whatever God they believe in?

Am I supposed to know how a gastronomy works
To work on a patient?
Or work on myself in the end?

I’m lacking sleep
I’m lacking the necessary nutrients to keep me alive
But that’s not important
“We don’t care how you feel, just make sure that the patient’s alive… and well.”

I’m not selfish, I promise
But you act like I’m selfish
I say I’m not selfish
I’m not selfish, I’M NOT SELFISH—
I JUST NEED A FUCKING BREAK.

But…

Breaks… aren’t important.

Mental health… isn’t important.

My own life… isn’t as important…

And they’ve made that pretty clear.

So…

I’ll still drug myself with caffeine everyday.
Take the same old walk, pass the same old shop everyday.
Forget to buy pills for myself everyday.
I’ll heat up frozen food everyday.

For… you.

And you.

Just you.

‘Cause in the end…
between me
and a bottle of medication…
the only difference…
is our human connection.

(Gasps Poem dumping space?!)

BAD HAIKU

Black kitty cat
Unblinking unbreathing
Forever

Mystery plants
Under the soil, eating and drinking
What will you be

Yellow bright
Facing its cousin, feeling warm
Smiling at the sun.

I dont want to write
Too bright, too cold, too damp
I do anyways.

Pumpkin patch
Yellow and small yet to be ripe
Summers change.

Walking through
Cold and wet, sleepy soft
Patch of warm.

Tall walls
Protect me from the sun;
Keep me from my friend.

Would be silence
Filled with chatter from friends that are not mine
Noisy but calm.

Distracting boys
Told to keep their mouths quiet find any way to
Make noise.

POEM FOR COMP

Good morning, I walk out of the door
Sweet smelling air
Wet long grass
“My birthday is in less than a week”
I told Connor before I left for school at 8

9 in the morning was too early.
We were at Auldi when we got the call.
“School is canceled for two weeks”
St. Patrick's day was canceled and I was so very sad
I had no idea that this would be so much more

It's 10 now,
Two weeks became two months
School will be over soon.
They ended us early because they don't know
To be honest, I didn’t know either.

It's 11, the sun is high in the sky
The warmth, sound, smells of summer
Are all so comforting
I don't have time to worry
I need to finish this book
Days go by on the porch.

Noon, the hottest bit of day.
School is starting up again.
Virtual meetings every day.
I remember mesopotamia and hating being alone at my house.
I remember takling to myself.

1 in the afternoon
We’re back in school
But its not normal.
I’m there for 2 days and home for the other 3
One day is alone completely.
No dumb classes to keep me company.

2, it's still hot out.
School is over in 3 months
I dont see the use of going back now
Its not like we’ll like it.
Its not like I’ll remember anything.

3, summer again.
This one is happier
I’m not confined to my property anymore
But I still can't really go out.
Masks fill our bar, all different colors and styles.
I kindof like them, they make me feel safe and warm.

4 the sun is getting lower in the sky but it still hasn’t turned pink.
I changed in 7th grade.
My clothes became darker.
Halloween became my favorite.
I remember that first trip to bloodview, with bo and ri.
I remember it all going to spit again.

5, my mom comes home from work.
Its a good job, pays well.
I wish my job was like hers
She sets her own hours
and somehow manages to get everything done
I dont.
I spend hours alone scratching at my skin.
And the others are at rehearsal.
I feel so tired all the time.

6, the start of evening.
Summer was boring, it didn’t even feel there
I remember hanging out with bowie and riley alot
They aren't in my classes this year.
I can feel it, that im gonna hate myself
And this year.

7 the sky is pink and pretty.
It's the worst bit.
Cold, alone, crying.
Bowie and Riley hate each other.
I hate myself.
I hate this year.
I want to go home.

8, dark outside.
I think it got better.
I’m not really sure.
I made new friends. Bowie and Riley are friends again
Maybe it will be like summer again.
Maybe it will be fine.

9, tired and slow.
I trudge myself to bed.
I leave school behind.
I leave these halls that I have filled with much noise
I leave the food that makes me want to puke
I leave the people who make me hate this place.

10, sky is sleeping soundly.
I breathe the last bit of the air.
Stuffy and suffocating.
Its smells bad at school
No matter how much perfume those girls spray.

11, the world feels gone.
Its the last day.
Weeping and smiling.
Glad to be gone but sad to have to leave.
I bid them farewell

12 AM, a new day.
Highschool.
I’m so glad to get to go.
To meet more people.
To do royal harmony
To write and read
I breathe in.
Clean fresh air.