forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Keyla: Taven makes me ask a lot of questions.
Keyla: Like "Why?"
Keyla: "For what?"
Keyla: and "honestly?"

Crispin, at the slightest inconvenience: I'm going to kill someone.
Kit: Now, don't quote me on this, but I believe that murder is illegal.

Crispin: What doesn't kill me should run because now I'm fucking pissed.

Milo: Something’s off.
Ravina: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Milo: No, but that’s funny.

Ara: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

Calidor: Hope everyone's having a fucking day.
Farli: Easily one of the days I've had all week.

Ella: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Nina, sighing: Yes, okay, fine. We're cowabunga.

Murderer: Any last words?
Andor: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Paisley: Abel makes me ask a lot of questions.
Paisley: Like "Why?"
Paisley: "For what?"
Paisley: and "honestly?"

Elliot: Between Cyrus, Anthony, Dally, and Jack—if you had to—who would you punch?
Quill: They're my friends! I wouldn't punch any of them!
Elliot: …Jack?
Quill: Yeah, but I don't know why.

Quill, grocery shopping: [Takes a free sample twice]
Quill: Robbery and fraud. I am a rebel.

Claire: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier!

Cyrus: You either die free or die trying!
Anthony: Are those the only choices?!

Cop: What’s your name?
Quill, whispering to Cyrus: Can I tell him my real name?
Cyrus: No!
Quill: I’m…Cyrus Hecate.
Cyrus:

Cyrus, after winning a fight: It’s like we just cleared a video game on easy!
Emmett: Real combat is not like a video game.
Dally, in the background: Look! Coins!

Anthony, Uh, do you need help getting up?
Daisy: Nah, I'm cool here on the floor.

Circe: I swear if someone interrupts me one more–
Draiden: What's that about turnups?
Circe:
Draiden:
Circe: Run…
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————
The Duke: Kids, what do you call breaking the law?
Circe: A hobby
Draiden: A right of passage
Raje: fun
Kip: Dangerous
Livvy: What's a law…?
Mic: Something I don't do, wink wink
The Duke:
The Duke: Thank god, I thought I raised you to respect authorities, dodged a bullet there I guess.

Robin: Oh, just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Oberon:
Oberon: If I step outside and all of the mugs are on the front lawn, I am putting you back into the Pond.
Robin: Sips juice from a bowl

Luc: I can explain.
Mariam: Can you?
Luc: If you give me five seconds to think of a lie.

Tobias: Please bring purified water with no minerals added for taste to the base.
Barry: I got spring water
Tobias: No.
Barry: With EXTRA minerals
Barry: It's like licking a stalagmite
Tobias: DON'T COME HOME.
Barry: Mmmmm cave water.

Sal: And if you have any suggestions about how I run my show, feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Shep: But that’s just a trash can.
Sal: Yeah, exactly.

Annette: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Luc: Certainly. I'm as sure as I am honest.
Mariam: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Maer: I uh..I'm kindof afraid of heights, actually..

Jsasl:…I GAVE YOU THE ABILITY TO FLY BUT YOU JUST NOW ADMIT YOU'RE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?!?!

Maer: LOOK I DIDN'T WANT TO REJECT AN ALL POWERFUL DEITY, THAT WOULD BE RUDE!

I’M STILL ALIVE

Mike: I mean, accidents don’t just happen accidentally!
~
Ethan: (eating lizard) Hey, it’s not that bad! It actually kinda tastes like-
Reese: Don’t you dare tell me it tastes like chicken.
Ethan: …No Reese, it’s a lizard. It tastes like a lizard.
~
Mike: Hey Ethan, what are you doing?
Ethan: Looking for something sharp.
Mike: What would you need it for?
Ethan: To kill Reese.
Mike: Driving you mad, are they?
Ethan: Not for much longer!
~
Sage: Do you wanna go for a walk?
Minnie: Nah, I’m just gonna… squander in self-pity.
~
Sage: (running at Minnie) MINNIE!
Minnie: (bleeding heavily) I’m not gonna make it! Sage, remember me as I was; wild! And free! And… and-
Sage: No need for final words, my friend!
Minnie: No no wait, I’m not finished.
Sage: Oh, continue.
~
Minnie: (spaced out) Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.
Arthur: Sure they are, kid.
Minnie: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Arthur: …Okay.
Minnie: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Arthur:
Minnie: (oblivious) Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.
Arthur: (crying) Minnie, please stop.
Mike: (fascinated) No, please, continue.
~
Ethan: Methinks, therefore me am.
~
Reese: Dammit, it’s locked.
Sage: Let Minnie handle it, locks are her specialty.
Minnie: (throws brick at the window)
Reese: Seriously? I could’ve done that!
Sage: It’s honestly a miracle you’ve managed to stay alive this whole time.

Quill: I need life advice.
Cyrus, eating cookie dough with a spatula: You came to the right person.

Cyrus: I'm a responsible adult!
Cyrus:
Cyrus: Well, I'm an adult.

Quill: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?
Anthony: I’ve never considered it, but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

Cyrus: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Anthony?
Anthony: No.
Cyrus: I think I speak for Anthony when I say that sounds really super.

Tetra: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
Ellis: It's opposite over hypotenuse, dipshit.

Emmett: What are earth are you two arguing about?
Quill: Jack won't use idioms correctly!
Jack: Oh, cry me a table, Quill.

Anthony, gesturing to Azazel: Uh, is this a friend of yours, Cardenas?
Quill: Kind of? Not really. Xe's in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

Jack: Anthony isn’t answering his phone.
Dally: Here, I'll call him.
Jack: I tried seven times, what makes you thi-
Anthony, picking up on the first ring: Hello?

Azazel, at a zoo: What are they in for?
Quill: Azzi, this isn't prison.
Azazel: So they can leave?
Quill: Well, no, but-
Azazel, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Addie: I need life advice.
Kay, eating cookie dough with a spatula: You came to the right person.

Jude: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?
Jane: I’ve never considered it, but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.
Oh this is definitely going into one of the vampire's backstories–

Alyssa: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Everett?
Everett: No.
Alyssa: I think I speak for Everett when I say that sounds really super.

Gabriel: It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.
Christopher: It's opposite over hypotenuse, you fool.

Giulia: What are you two arguing about?
Tobias: Barry won't use idioms correctly!
Barry: Oh, cry me a table, Prospero.

Titania, gesturing to Robin: Uh, is this a friend of yours, Oberon?
Oberon: No. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

Jacob: Eliza isn’t answering her phone.
Giulia: Here, I'll call her.
Jacob: I tried seven times, what makes you thi-
Eliza, picking up on the first ring: Hello?

Ulla, at a zoo: What are they in for?
Kitty: This isn't prison.
Ulla: So they can leave?
Lydia: Well, no, but-
Ulla, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Young Grace: I need life advice.
Dave, eating cookie dough with a spatula: You came to the right person.

Grace: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?
Felix: I’ve never considered it, but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

Felix: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Rhyda?
Rhyda: No.
Felix: I think I speak for Rhyda when I say that sounds really super.

Haru: It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield.
Ray: It's opposite over hypotenuse, you fool.

Paisley: What are you two arguing about?
Felix: Abel won't use idioms correctly!
Abel: Oh, cry me a table, Helios.

Bianca, gesturing to Abel: Uh, is this a friend of yours, Shea?
Shea: No. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

Shea: Paisley isn’t answering her phone.
Grace: Here, I'll call her.
Shea: I tried seven times, what makes you thi-
Paisley, picking up on the first ring: Hello?

Abel, at a zoo: What are they in for?
Paisley: This isn't prison.
Abel: So they can leave?
Grace: Well, no, but-
Abel, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Felix: I mean, accidents don’t just happen accidentally!

Jeb: (eating lizard) Hey, it’s not that bad! It actually kinda tastes like-
Crimson: Don’t you dare tell me it tastes like chicken.
Jeb: …No Crim, it’s a lizard. It tastes like a lizard.

Grace: Hey Abel, what are you doing?
Abel: Looking for something sharp.
Grace: What would you need it for?
Abel: To kill Shea.
Grace: Driving you mad, are they?
Abel: Not for much longer!

Grace: Do you wanna go for a walk?
Felix: Nah, I’m just gonna… squander in self-pity.

Grace: (running at Paisley) PAIS!
Paisley: (bleeding heavily) I’m not gonna make it! Grace, remember me as I was bold! And powerful! And… and-
Grace: No need for final words, my friend!
Paisley: No no wait, I’m not finished.
Grace: Oh, continue.

Abel: (spaced out) Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.
Paisley: Sure they are.
Abel: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Paisley: …Okay.
Abel: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Paisley:
Abel: (oblivious) Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions.
Paisley: (about to commit a war crime) Abel. Please stop.
Felix: (fascinated) No, please, continue.

Jeb: Methinks, therefore me am.

Bianca: Dammit, it’s locked.
Crimson: Let Jeb handle it, locks are his specialty.
Jeb: (throws brick at the window)
Bianca: Seriously? I could’ve done that!
Shea: It’s honestly a miracle we've managed to stay alive this whole time.

Emmett: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower!

Tetra: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Zephyr: For the dogs.
Tetra: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Zephyr: Well, they can't make them themselves!

Anthony: Cyrus, did you have to stab Blitz?
Cyrus: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me.
Anthony: Well, what did he say?
Cyrus: 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'
Anthony: …Yeah, okay, that's fair.

Elliot: Hey, can I have some?
Quill, her mouth full of cheesecake: Uh, it's really spicy. You wouldn't like it.

Cyrus: If you let me down, you’re out of the will.
Jack: I was in the will?

Dally: Hey, Ant, what's your favorite kind of flower?
Anthony: Kind of generic, I know, but I've always liked sunflowers.
Dally, pulling out a bouquet of Venus flytraps: Well, shit.

Blitz: I have locked Dally in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoist by his own petard!
Hyde: …Could you repeat that in English?
Blitz: I’m blackmailing him.
Hyde: Oh, cool, gotcha.

Anthony: Hey, what's going on?
Dally: Well, I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Anthony:
Anthony: And you came to me?

Claire, holding a fork: You know, you're talking a whole lot of shit for someone with two perfectly good eyeballs that'd get me about $16,000 on the black market.

Rhyda: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower!

Paisley: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Felix: For Jackpot.
Paisley: Why are you making pancakes for the ferret?
Felix: Well, he can't make them himself!

Grace: Abel, did you have to stab Shea?
Abel: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what she said to me.
Grace: Well, what did she say?
Abel: 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'
Grace: …Yeah, okay, that's fair.

Cagney: Hey, can I have some?
Shea, her mouth full of cheesecake: Uh, it's really spicy. You wouldn't like it.

Donovan: If you let me down, you’re out of the will.
Abel: I was in the will?

Felix: Hey, Drew, what's your favorite kind of flower?
Drew: Kind of generic, I know, but I've always liked sunflowers.
Felix, pulling out a bouquet of Venus flytraps: Well, shit.

Paisley: I have locked Drew in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoist by his own petard!
Shea: …Could you repeat that in English?
Rhyda, mouth full of take-out: We're blackmailing him.
Shea: Oh, cool, gotcha.

Paisley: Hey, what's going on?
Grace: Well, I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Paisley:
Paisley: And you came to me?

Abel, holding a fork: You know, you're talking a whole lot of shit for someone with two perfectly good eyeballs that'd get me about $16,000 on the black market.

Ira: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Louis: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Trinity: For Lottie.
Louis: Why are you making pancakes for the cat?
Trinity: She can't make them herself.

Carrie: Lex, did you have to stab Nich?
Alexei: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me.
Carrie: Well, what did he say?
Alexei: 'What are you gonna do, stab me?'
Carrie: …Yeah, okay, that's fair.

Skye: Hey, can I have some?
Luc, his mouth full of cheesecake: Uh, it's really spicy. You wouldn't like it.

Phillip: If you let me down, you’re out of the will.
Georgie: I was in the will?

Launce: Hey Algie, what's your favorite kind of flower?
Algernon: Kind of generic, I know, but I've always liked carnations.
Launce, pulling out a bouquet of Venus flytraps: Well, shit.

Calvin: I have locked Victor in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoist by his own petard!
Charles: …Could you repeat that in English?
Calvin: I’m blackmailing him.
Charles: Oh, cool, gotcha.

Joey: Hey, what's going on?
Maisy: Well, I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Joey:
Joey: And you came to me?

Alexei, holding a fork: You know, you're talking a whole lot of shit for someone with two perfectly good eyeballs that'd get me about $16,000 on the black market.

Sonny: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Sonny: If you let me down, you’re out of the will.
Kennedy: I was in the will?

Milo: Roza, did you have to stab Ana?
Roza: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what she said to me.
Milo: Well, what did she say?
Roza: ‘What are you gonna do, stab me?’
Milo: …Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Vuksha: Hey, can I have some?
Ana, her mouth full of cheesecake: Uh, it’s really spicy. You wouldn’t like it.

Kennedy, holding a fork: You know, you’re talking a whole lot of crap for someone with two perfectly good eyeballs that’d get me about $16,000 on the black market.
_{note: I only changed “shit” to “crap” because Kennedy doesn’t often use ‘strong’ curses}

Sonny, digging through his medical supplies: Sloan, be useful for once and get me that jar over there.
Sloan: You know, back in my day we just died.
Sonny: you’re only 23

Judge: How do you plead?
Roza, mouthing: Not guilty!
Blonda: …hot milky?
Roza: Oh my god just lock him up already.

in a haunted house
Ana: Are you scared?
Isidore: no.
Ana: it’s okay I got you fam.
Ana: stomps light up sneakers

Sonny: You’re right.
Kennedy: That’s an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Vuksha: I’m literally so mad at you right now. There’s nothing you can say that’ll make me forgive you.
Kennedy: I-
Vuksha: okay I forgive you :)

Ana: Guys are so hot
Ana: Girls are so hot too.
Ana: Why is everyone so hot?
Sonny: Climate change.

Isidore: We can’t kill them!
Kennedy: Not with that attitude, we can’t.

Roza: You have a lot of nerve being here.
Kennedy: You have a lot of nerve being alive.

Sonny: Do any of you have healthy stress outlets?
Isidore: Screaming
Sloan: Vigilanting
Ana: Flirting
Vuksha: Moping
Milo: Shooting or gambling
Bonda: Exploding things
Roza: Plotting revenge
Sonny:
Sonny: Okay, so we have screaming

Mabel, digging through her medical supplies: Joey, be useful and get me that jar over there.
Joey: You know, back in my day we just died.
Mabel: You are 35.

Sal: You’re right.
Helsie: That’s an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Mabel: Guys are so hot
Mabel: Girls are so hot too.
Mabel: Why is everyone so hot?
Ira: Climate change.

Mabel: We can’t kill them!
Joey: Not with that attitude, we can’t.

Joey: You have a lot of nerve being here.
Ira: You have a lot of nerve being alive.

Mabel: Do any of you have healthy stress outlets?
Safie: Screaming.
Ira: Vigilanting.
Joey: Also vigilanting.
Maisy: Flirting.
Martin: Moping.
Dally: Parkouring peoples' houses.
Rosa: Exploding things.
Cameron Alexis: Plotting revenge.
Mabel:
Mabel: Okay, so we have screaming.

Sage: I need life advice.
Mike: (eating cookie dough with a spatula) You came to the right person.
~
Arthur: I am a responsible adult!
Arthur:
Arthur: Well, I’m an adult.
~
Mike: What are you two arguing about?
Reese: Minnie won’t use idioms correctly!
Minnie: Oh, cry me a table, Reese.
Ethan: I second that. You opened this can of horses, now lie in it.
~
Sage: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Minnie: In case I have to flee the country.
Sage: That’s… very illegal. And we kind of work for the government now.
Minnie: (putting on a wig) Then I guess it’s time for Estella Gonzales to take a Mediterranean vacation.
~
Ethan: I have a plan.
Reese: I have the hospital on speed dial.
~
Minnie: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Minnie: Ha! Just kidding, I did blow up a Target.
~
Reese: (holding their metal arm at a certain angle so they can reflect the sun into Ethan’s eyes)
~
Minnie: Rules are made to be broken.
Arthur: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Ethan: Uh, pinatas?
Reese: Glow sticks.
Mike: Karate boards.
Sage: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Minnie: Rules!
Arthur:

Sage: I need life advice.
Mike: (eating cookie dough with a spatula) You came to the right person.
~
Arthur: I am a responsible adult!
Arthur:
Arthur: Well, I’m an adult.
~
Mike: What are you two arguing about?
Reese: Minnie won’t use idioms correctly!
Minnie: Oh, cry me a table, Reese.
Ethan: I second that. You opened this can of horses, now lie in it.
~
Sage: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Minnie: In case I have to flee the country.
Sage: That’s… very illegal. And we kind of work for the government now.
Minnie: (putting on a wig) Then I guess it’s time for Estella Gonzales to take a Mediterranean vacation.
~
Ethan: I have a plan.
Reese: I have the hospital on speed dial.
~
Minnie: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Minnie: Ha! Just kidding, I did blow up a Target.
~
Reese: (holding their metal arm at a certain angle so they can reflect the sun into Ethan’s eyes)
~
Minnie: Rules are made to be broken.
Arthur: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Ethan: Uh, pinatas?
Reese: Glow sticks.
Mike: Karate boards.
Sage: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Minnie: Rules!
Arthur:

Mabel: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Ira: In case I have to flee the country.
Mabel: That’s…very illegal, actually.
Ira: Oh.

Quill: I'm not superstitious.
Quill, drawing a salt circle around her bed: But I am a little stitious.

Cyrus: Oh, my god, we're having a bonding moment!
Jack: If by 'bonding moment', you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we've met, then yes. I suppose we are.

Dally: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Cyrus: In case I have to flee the country.
Dally: That’s…very illegal, actually.
Cyrus: Oh.

Dally: Hey, I heard you like reptiles! Got any cool facts?
Quill: If a crocodile eats your dad, it becomes your new dad!

Anthony: You've been arrested for…breaking into a pet store?
Quill: I thought the animals might be lonely!

Quill: Hey, are you okay?
Claire: Yeah.
Quill: You don't look okay.
Claire: Then stop looking.

Quill: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?
Anthony: I’m an ‘I’m not paying a thousand bucks for Photoshop’ pirate.

Cyrus: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Cyrus: Ha! Just kidding, I did blow up a Target once.

Poli: Tetra, you just saved my life!
Tetra: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

Bianca: I need life advice.
Ray: (eating cookie dough with a spatula) You came to the right person.

Felix: I am a responsible adult!
Felix:
Felix: Well, I’m an adult.

Midge: I have a plan.
Dahlia: I have the hospital on speed dial.

Midge: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Midge: Ha! Just kidding, I did blow up a Target.

Jeb: (holding their metal arm at a certain angle so they can reflect the sun into Bianca's eyes)

Shea: Rules are made to be broken.
Paisley: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Grace: Uh, pinatas?
Abel: Glow sticks.
Rhyda: Karate boards.
Felix: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Shea: Rules!
Paisley:

Grace: I'm not superstitious.
Grace, drawing a salt circle around her bed: But I am a little stitious.

Midge: Oh, my god, we're having a bonding moment!
Dahlia: If by 'bonding moment', you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we've met, then yes. I suppose we are.

Drew: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Donovan: In case I have to flee the country.
Drew: That’s…very illegal, actually.
Donovan: Oh.

Avon: Hey, I heard you like reptiles! Got any cool facts?
Howie: If a crocodile eats your dad, it becomes your new dad!

Avon: You've been arrested for…breaking into a pet store?
Midge: I thought the animals might be lonely!

Grace: Hey, are you okay?
Drew: Yeah.
Grace: You don't look okay.
Drew: Then stop looking.

Shea: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?
Bianca: I’m an ‘I’m not paying a thousand bucks for Photoshop’ pirate.

Abel: Shea, you just saved my life!
Shea: And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

Skye: I need life advice.
Annette, eating cookie dough with a spatula: You came to the right person.

Luc: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Luc: Ha! Just kidding, I'm wanted on like 5 planets.

Livia: I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

Luc, half delirious: Stars, we're having a bonding moment!
Mariam: If by 'bonding moment', you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we've met, then yes. I suppose we are.

Annette: Why do you have a safe full of passports?
Skye: For next time I flee the planet.
Annette: That’s…very illegal, actually.
Skye: Oh.

Dima: You've been arrested for…breaking into a pet store?
Ness: I thought the animals might be lonely!

Hank: Hey, are you okay?
Clive: Yeah.
Hank: You don't look okay.
Clive: Then stop looking.

Bastian: Isaak, you just saved my life!
Isaak: And I’d do it again. And perhaps a third time. But that would be it.

Quill: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Dally: That's deep.
Cyrus: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
Dally: That's even deeper.
Jack: All of you are goddamn idiots.

Dally: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking, ‘are we about to kiss?’
Dally: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Cyrus: You’re a loose cannon, Dal.
Dally: I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? I’m just a rebel. Ant is the loose cannon.
Anthony: Shut your trap, Dame.
Cyrus: I’d say Anthony's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing.
Quill: …So is Dally a loose cannon or not?
Cyrus: All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Ophelia, to Quill: Me? I'm the bee's knees, but you? You're just…uh…
Quill: The cockroach's ankles?
Ophelia: Ye- uh, what?

Daisy: Jesus, what happened to your nose?
Dally: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Felix: I would destroy the world for you guys.
Anthony: Okay, but would you do the dishes?
Felix: Fuck no.

Anthony: Hecate, I need you to swear–
Cyrus: Fuck.
Anthony: …Swear as in promise.

Quill: Hey, cool rock!
Dally: Thanks, Anthony gave it to me.
Anthony: I threw it at you!
Dally: Isn't he the best?

Quill, to Ophelia: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law-abiding citizen.

Blitz: I have your little sister.
Cyrus: What? I don't have a little sister.
Blitz: Then who's this kid who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?
Cyrus: Oh my god, you have Quill.

Claire: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life very difficult.
Quill, flatly: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

Dally: The risk I took was calculated, but, man, am I bad at math.

Jimmy: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
J.B.: That's deep.
Yrin: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
Carey: That's even deeper.
Tiodore: All of you are goddamn idiots.

Barry: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking, ‘are we about to kiss?’
Barry: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Mabel: You’re a loose cannon, Maisy.
Maisy: I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? I’m just a rebel. Joey is the loose cannon.
Joey: Shut up, Owens.
Mabel: I’d say Joey's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing.
Ira: …So is Maisy a loose cannon or not?
Maisy: All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Mabel: Jesus, what happened to your nose?
Joey: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Joey: I would destroy the world for you.
Mabel: Okay, but would you do the dishes?
Joey: Fuck no.

Mabel: Ira, I need you to swear–
Ira: Damn.
Mabel: Swear as in promise-.

Skye: Hey, cool rock!
Luc: Thanks, Mariam gave it to me.
Mariam: I threw it at you!
Luc: Isn't she the best?

Fryght: I have your little sister.
Joey: What? I don't have a little sister.
Fryght: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spat in my face?
Joey: Oh my God, you have Cam.

Fryght: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life very difficult.
Joey, flatly: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

Midge: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Howie: That's deep.
Midge: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
Howie: That's even deeper.
Dahlia: All of you are goddamn idiots.

Felix: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking, ‘are we about to kiss?’
Felix: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, though.

Paisley: You’re a loose cannon, Shea.
Shea: I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? I’m just a rebel. Rhyda is the loose cannon.
Rhyda: Shut your trap, Four.
Grace: I’d say Rhyda's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing.
Shea: …So is Rhyda a loose cannon or not?
Paisley: All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Felix, to Drew: Me? I'm the bee's knees, but you? You're just…uh…
Drew: The cockroach's ankles?
Felix: Ye- uh, what?

Bianca: Jesus, what happened to your nose?
Shea: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Shea: I would destroy the world for you guys.
Crimson: Okay, but would you do the dishes?
Shea: Fuck no.

Paisley: Abel, I need you to swear–
Abel: Fuck.
Paisley: …Swear as in promise.

Howie: Hey, cool rock!
Midge: Thanks, Langely gave it to me.
Officer Langely: I threw it at you!
Midge: Isn't he the best?

Rhyda, to Felix: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law-abiding citizen.

uhh criminal of some kind: I have your little sister.
Paisley: What? I don't have a little sister.
criminal: Then who's this kid who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?
Paisley: Oh my god, you have Cagney.

Paisley: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life very difficult.
Abel, flatly: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

Grace: The risk I took was calculated, but, man, am I bad at math.

Barry: Someone stuck a funny hat on my head.
Barry: I'm going to leave it there.
Barry: This is who I am now.

Dally: You…have a face.
Safie: Yes? I do?
Dally: I mean a nice face. You have a pretty nice face.
Safie: Thanks?
Dally: Please accept my attempt at flirting. I don't know what I am doing.

Joey: Why are you always hanging around here? Don't you have parents?
Maisy: What are parents?
Joey:
Joey: I see.

Mabel: What scares you the most?
Rosa: Wasps.
Maisy: Horses.
Martin: Spiders.
Cameron Alexis: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us towards an inevitable death.
Tomas:….Cameron.

Grady: Happy birthday to the amazing Livia Friedman!
Levi, Livia's twin: Wow, okay.

Perry: Hey, Ophelia, do you like Quill?
Ophelia: You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Perry: El! I told you! You owe me ten bucks!
Elliot: Well, we all like Quill! You should've asked if she like likes her.
Ophelia: …Oh. I thought that was implied.
Elliot:
Perry:
Ophelia: Congrats, Perry, you just won ten bucks.

Quill, to Azazel: Wow, left-handed and British? You really are an illusion.

Anthony: Are you ready to commit?
Dally: Like, a crime or to a relationship?
Dally: My answer's yes either way, so I'm not really sure why I asked for clarification.

Quill: Dr. Device, I need some advice.
Jack: You need advice from me?
Quill: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Anthony: [Coughs up blood]
Felix: Don't go dying on us, Kane.
Anthony, between coughing fits: Don't tell me what to do.

Cyrus: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Anthony: That's not a thing.
Cyrus: Well, not with that attitude.

Jack: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Dally: For the love of God, just say fuck.

Jack: Cyrus, I'm going to need a human skull, but you can't ask why.
Cyrus, pulling four skulls out of her bag: Only if you also don't ask why.
Jack:
Jack, taking a skull: …This one will do.

Cyrus: Happy birthday to the amazing Daisy Dame!
Dally, her twin: Wow, okay.

Azazel: Someone stuck a funny hat on my head.
Azazel: I'm going to leave it there.
Azazel: This is who I am now.

Imogen: Hey, Addie, do you like Kay?
Addie: You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Tabitha: Ha! I told you! You owe me ten bucks!
Eliot: Well, we all like Kay! You should've asked if she like likes them.
Addie: …Oh. I thought that was implied.
Eliot:
Tabitha:
Addie: Congrats, Tabitha, you just won ten bucks.

Tabitha, to Imogen: Wow, left-handed and a Starborn? You really are an illusion.

Mariam: Are you ready to commit?
Luc: Like, a crime or to a relationship?
Luc: My answer's yes either way, so I'm not really sure why I asked for clarification.

Ira: Mr. Poole, I need some advice.
Joey: You need advice from me?
Ira: Yes. Frightening, isn't it?

Cameron Alexis: Coughs up blood
Joey: Don't go dying on us, Cam.
Cameron Alexis, between coughing fits: Don't tell me what to do.

Della: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Theo: That's not a thing.
Della: Well, not with that attitude.

Ernie: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Bernie: For the love of God, just say fuck.

Andor: Sorry I was late.
Andor: Traffic is exactly how it's been every day for the past 5 years and I was not expecting that.

Guard: I'm sorry. I can't let you in.
Alexander: But my brother is the king! He's right there! He'll vouch for me!
Matthew:….
Matthew: I've never seen this man in my life.

Crispin: *Coughs up blood*
Gerard: Don't go dying on us, Crispin
Crispin, between coughing fits: Don't tell me what to do.

Dallas: Andor, I need some advice.
Andor: You need advice from me?
Dallas: Yes. Frightening, isn't it?

Keyla: Crushes are the worst.
Taven: I know. Whenever I’m around mine I act all stupid.
Keyla: Pfft, you always act stupid.
Taven:
Keyla:

Ella: Nina offered me her drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.
Ella: I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of a baja blast mountain dew at 7 in the morning.

Andor: Started talking to yourself, Ara?
Ara: Yes. It's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation around here.

Gerard: I forget but I do NOT forgive.
Gerard: I'm wandering around hating people and can't remember why.