Chief: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three—
Chief and Little, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Sancia: Our turn, Rolfe! One, two, three— vanilla!
Dr. Direwolf, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Axelin: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Dorothea: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
————————————–
Dorothea: I’d like a coffee and he’ll have a juice.
Axelin: Dorothea i’m 17 years old.
Axelin: I can order my own juice.
————————————–
Lilith: I haven’t cried in years
Dorothea: ok Lili, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex
————————————–
Annalise: are you ok?
Dorothea: just high on life!
Annalise: and?
Dorothea: sighs glass cleaner
————————————–
Annalise: but-
Dorothea: grow up! the easter bunny isn’t real, the tooth fairy is fake and the queen of england doesn’t exist!
————————————–
Axelin: takes out a box of cereal
Axelin: grabs a bowl
Axelin: grabs milk
Axelin: pours milk into his hand
Dorothea, watching from the side: hey uh Axe-
Axelin: no, no just give me a minute. i know something is wrong just give me a minute. i’ll figure it out. just wait a minute.
Lydia: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Kitty: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
Geneva: I haven’t cried in years
Henry: Okay Gen, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex
Clive: May I sit there?
Hank: That’s my lap.
Clive: That doesn’t answer my question.
Memphis: all in all, a successful heist!
Jay: WE LOST CRAIG
Memphis: all in all, a successful heist!
————————————–
Eric: get me a sees her salad
Markus: a caesar salad?
Eric:
Eric: you know what, you smartass-
————————————–
Shane: I have literally seen you naked before.
Colton: but we said no homo.
Shane: I lied.
————————————–
Jack: Den, where did your freckles go?
Dennis: oh my freckles fade in the winter
Jack: oh ok
Jack, later, kicking the snow aggressively: give. Him. Back. His. Freckles. You. Stupid. Bitch.
————————————–
Eric: if anything goes wrong, just fake a heart attack.
Shane, a nursing student: what are we thinking? The classic angina? Or something sexier, like a myocardial infarction?
Eric, who has no idea what those words mean: just drop on the ground and wiggle
————————————–
Craig: [listening to music in his room]
Jay, yelling: I KNOW I'M NOT HEARING NIRVANA ON A SUNDAY
————————————–
Memphis: send dudes.
Colton: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Memphis: no, I’m literally in a fight. send backup.
Minnie: (takes out a box of cereal)
Minnie: (grabs a bowl)
Minnie: (grabs milk)
Minnie: (pours milk into her hand)
Sage, watching from the side: Hey, uh, Minnie-
Minnie: No, no, just give me a minute. I know something is wrong, just give me a minute. I'll figure it out, just wait a minute.
~
Minnie: (gasps)
Ethan: wHAT??
Minnie: WHAT IF SOY MILK IS JUST INTRODUCING ITSELF IN SPANISH???
Ethan:
Ethan: (inhales)
Sage, in another room w/ Reese: Why do I hear screeching?
~
Sage: Are you laughing at a video of Minnie and Reese fighting?
Ethan: (close to tears) No.
Ethan: I’m laughing at the comments.
~
Sage: Is Minnie okay?
Reese: No.
Reese: She took one of those “wHicH mEMbEr oF ThE TErRa LeGiON aRe YoU??” quizzes.
Sage: And?
Reese: She got Ethan.
~
Reese: Why are your tongues purple?
Sage: We got slushies. Mine was red.
Minnie: I had a blue one.
Reese: Oh.
Reese:
Reese: OH.
Ethan: You guys drank each other’s slushies?
~
Sage: How do you know how to kiss? Like, who teaches you?
Minnie: It’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.
Minnie: Would you like me to tutor you?
Ethan (eating popcorn): Holy shit, that was smooth.
~
Ethan: I’ve met a lot of pricks in my time but you, Reese, are a goddamn cactus.
~
Ethan: Oi, I just found a snake and I’m keeping it, what should I name it?
Reese: yOU WHAT??
Minnie: Barack Cobrama
~
Minnie: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.
~
Arthur (on the phone): Look, just aim for the knees and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent-teacher conference.
Arthur: Sorry about that! You said Minnie’s enjoying improv club? That’s great.
~
Ethan: Eh, I’d have to think about that one.
Minnie: (patting him on the back) Well don’t think too hard, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself!
Ethan: :O
~
Sage: So… what’s going on?
Ethan: You want the short version or the long version?
Sage: The… short one I guess?
Ethan: Shit’s fucked.
Sage: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.
~
Minnie: Have you done this before?
Ethan: Well Minnie, it’s like if you read the script you come better prepared.
Reese: That’s not what we do here, we don’t read things.
Minnie: I don’t rEAD, ETHAN.
Quill: How petty can you get?
Jack: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Dally: Ant has delicious lip balm.
Cyrus: Wait, did you two kiss?!
Anthony: No, this asshole just ate all my lip balm!
Magnus: Is it okay if I swear?
Cyrus: Yes. To be a part of this agency, you must learn how to cuss.
Magnus: F
Cyrus: Yes, go on!
Magnus: I’m nervous!
Cyrus: She stole from me first!
Anthony: Mhm.
Cyrus: Stole my heart…
Anthony: It is still illegal to commit murder.
Quill: What?! I can’t kill him!
Azazel: Not with that attitude, you can’t!
Quill: Girls are so cute. Guys are so cute, too! Why is everyone so cute?!
Elliot: Global warming.
Azazel: Let me give you some advice.
Quill: Uh, okay.
Azazel: If a door reads ‘push’, you pull. It’s not directions, it’s a challenge.
Emmett: I’d like a coffee and she’ll have a juice.
Quill: Dr. Euclid, I’m 17 years old.
Quill: I can order my own juice.
Cyrus: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Dally: No, no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police.
Tabitha: How petty can you get?
Algernon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Kay: Addie has delicious lip balm.
Imogen: Wait, did you two kiss?!
Addie: No, they just ate all my lip balm!
Oleander: She stole from me first!
Calla: Mhm.
Oleander: Stole my heart…
Calla: It is still illegal to commit murder.
Teagan: Girls are so cute. Guys are so cute, too! Why is everyone so cute?!
Della: Global warming.
Algernon: I’d like a brandy and she’ll have water.
Tabitha: Algernon, I’m 17 years old.
Tabitha: I can order my own water.
(uhhh, Della babe-)
The Director: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Algernon: Self-advocating? Bold move.
The Director: Fuck off.
Algernon: Hey babe, guess what this jacket is made of?
Launce: We've been dating for years, Algie, I know it's boyfriend materi–
Algernon, getting down on one knee: Wrong, it's husband material.
Hazel: I know everyone sees Clyde as the edgy dude because he steals and gets into fights or whatever
Hazel: But I do crazy things that can result in bad health too.
Hazel: Eats raw cookie dough
Hazel: See? I'm the real bad boy.
Robert: Why did yo guys get arrested?
Clyde: I don't know; we didn't do anything wrong.
Jane: We got pulled over and when the officer said "papers", Clyde yelled "scissors" and drove off.
J.B.: I brought reinforcements.
Ceza: You brought Yrin?
J.B.: Uh, no, but I brought the next best thing.
Hank: Hey.
Ceza: You brought Hank? The next best thing would have been Vittoria!
Hank: Normally, I'd be offended, but you're not wrong.
Percy: I don't really know how to do anything.
Percy: But I'm bi.
Percy: I'm so bi.
Percy: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.
Darius: I'm five-ten, but I tell everyone that I'm five-eight so that Nich will stop telling people he's five-eight.
Algernon: We did it. We won.
The Director: Slowly stands back up
Tabitha:
Algernon:
Tabitha: Starts to point
Algernon: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at her. We won.
Sally: What are your talents, Clyde?
Clyde: Moving without making much noise, mechanical stuff, criminal and comic book history, yo mama jokes-
Sally: Yo mama jokes?
Clyde: Well, I'm an orphan, so they can't say anything back.
Sally:
Sally: Kid-
Hazel: Sure, I'm gonna make myself sick eating strawberry frosting by the spoonful but it's fucking good and I'm gonna do it and have no regrets.
Alyssa: I support this
Jane: I'm rescuing you.
Clyde: Cool, do you have a plan?
Jane: If I stop for long enough to think about what I'm actually doing I'm going to have a panic attack.
Everett: I'm taking command of this rescue.
Jane: Please.
Tabitha: You have no idea what I’m capable of!
Algernon: Oh, I’m terrified. Should I go get a step stool so you can look me in the eyes while you threaten me?
Jonah: I zoned out back in the forties and I never zoned back in.
Jackson: Are you on drugs?
Geneva: You and I both know that this job does not pay enough for me to have a drug problem.
Samuel: Punch me in the face.
Therese: Punch you in the face?
Samuel: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn't you hear me?
Therese: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.
Launce: You lying, cheating bastard!
Algernon: Oh yeah? You’re the fool who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Shel, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Jackson: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Geneva: If you say 'addictionary' I swear to fucking God I will kill you
Jackson: I was gonna say 'high definition' but yours is better
Rista: You love me, right, Isaak?
Isaak: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Algernon: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
Esther, to Oleander: You're the worst person ever!
Oberon: Calm down, Essie. We'll get this sorted out.
Oberon, to Oleander: But you really are the worst. Ever.
Algernon, to Tabitha: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.
The Director: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?
Algernon: Oh, definitely Liesl.
Prof. Alden, nodding: Liesl for sure.
Prof. Alden: So what’s it like being related to Tabitha?
Algernon: Once I asked her for a glass of water when she was mad at me. She brought me a glass full of ice and told me to wait.
Ali: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Lybra: It’s not a joke.
Lybra: sniffles
Lybra: I’m a legit snack.
–
Ali: Bye Lybra! Bye Maggie! Bye Jas! Bye Kera! Bye Lybra!
Maggie: You said ‘bye Lybra’ twice.
Ali: I like Lybra.
–
(the entire rescuing Ali scene essentially went like this:)
Ali: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Lybra: Several traffic violations.
Maggie: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Jas: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Kera: Also, that’s not our car.
–
Ali: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Lybra: Thank you
Ali: I didn't say that was a good thing
Lybra: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
New character edition:
Ella: send dudes.
James: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Ella: no, I’m literally in a fight. send backup.
Nina: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Ella: Several traffic violations.
James: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Catalina: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Ella: Also, that’s not our car.
Ella, to Catalina: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.
James: You lying, cheating bastard!
Nina: Oh yeah? You’re the fool who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Catalina, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Ella: I zoned out when I was a kid and I never zoned back in.
Catalina: I'm rescuing you.
Nina: Cool, do you have a plan?
Catalina: If I stop for long enough to think about what I'm actually doing I'm going to have a panic attack.
Ella: I'm taking command of this rescue.
Catalina: Please.
Catalina: How petty can you get?
Nina: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
Nina: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.
Ella: hey Nina when did you get your drivers license?
Nina: my what?
Catalina in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT
Ella: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
Catalina: What do you think James will do for a distraction?
Ella: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
[Building explodes and several car alarms go off]
Ella: … or he could do that.
Catalina: This is the worst day ever.
Ella: Because James got shot?
Catalina: No because its a little humid- YES BECAUSE JAMES GOT SHOT.
Ella, speaking through tears: Maybe the real treasure was the traumas and trust issues we gained along the way
Nina: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.
Ella: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Catalina: I’m too pretty.
Lydia: Send dudes.
Kitty: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Lydia: No, I’m literally in a fight. Send backup.
Jane: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Alyssa: Several traffic violations.
Clyde: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Hazel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Everett: Also, that’s not our car.
Grady, to Niklos: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.
Dottie: You lying, cheating bastard!
Niklos: Oh yeah? You’re the bitch who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Oona, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re going to stop playing now.
Kels: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.
Jackson: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
Leon: What do you think Aubrey will do for a distraction?
Kitty: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
Building explodes and several alarms go off
Kitty: … or he could do that.
Clyde: This is the worst day ever.
Jane: Because you got shot?
Clyde: No, because it's a little humid–yes, because I got shot.
Hank, speaking through tears: Maybe the real victory was the trauma and trust issues we gained along the way
Niklos: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.
Richard, to Wesley: Your mother wouldn’t have wanted her only son to become a murderer.
Isalet, in the afterlife: Kill the bitch.
Mechanic: What seems to be the problem?
Henry: I don’t know exactly, but it all started when I was kid and I watched my parents die.
Mechanic: I meant with the car.
Henry: Oh, it makes a beep every time I slam my head into the steering wheel.
Isalet: Here is my wall of inspirational people.
Henry: Is that a picture of you?
Isalet: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Isalet: Do I look like I put on makeup this morning to be judged by my personality?
Dae: Fuck.
Minji: We’ve got to work on your cursing.
Dae: Why? I’m pretty good at cursing already.
Edington: You know those things will kill you, right?
James, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Danielle, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Sarah: Nods while eating raw cookie dough
Melissa: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Melissa: I'm a reverse necromancer
Azumi: Isn't that just killing people?
Melissa: Ah, technicality
Daisy: I can't walk :(
Mycie: Then limp.
CW// SWEARING, GUN MENTION
(BASED OFF THE PLOT OF BRUTAL)
Griff: Suck it up
Charlie, in a hospital bed: I was fucking shot
Griff: ANd? Im high off my ass and i still drove here to see you
Charlie, bursting with rage: you'RE HIGH?? WHAT THE FUCK GRIFFIN! YOU'RE 16!
(BASED OFF THE PLOT OF PRESS START)
Griffin: -texts his crush-
Griffin: I regret nothing
-10 minutes later-
Griffin, texting: hey lmao sorry my brother stole my pho-
Daisy: I can't walk :(
Mycie: Then limp.
I know I wrote this like 5 years ago but it's still so fucking funny-
Daisy: I can't walk :(
Mycie: Then limp.I know I wrote this like 5 years ago but it's still so fucking funny-
It has no right to be so funny
Noah: how did the oyster get away from the crawfish
Aiden: I wanna get a divorce…
Noah: It- it used clam-afloge!
(Based off of a Tik Tok)
Ed: Hey Aiden i got u some tea since i thought it might help with your headache
Aiden: I’m in love with you- i mean what haha i didnt say that!
Jane: I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much.
Nich: I look back on being seventeen and think “holy shit, how did I not die?”
Algernon: Nobody cared what I thought when I was a kid. They’d say “What do you think you’re doing?” but that just meant “stop.”
Hank: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.
Prof. Alden: You have illegal contacts?
Algernon: You don’t?
Ceza, to the rest of the squadron: And remember, if I get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.
Everett: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Clyde: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and the conclusions were there.
Alyssa: Are you okay?
Everett, looking off into the distance: In theory.
Everett: I apologize for behaving like a dick
Jane: We weren’t going to say it.
Clyde: I was.
Beck: There’s no need to ever ask me how I’m doing; it's safe to assume I'm crashing and burning at any given moment.
Algernon: Walked into a liquor store bleeding, that kind of night.
Jude: Ghost 101. One, knock book off shelf. Week two, uh, hold a candlestick in the middle of a hallway. Three… sheets.
Violet: You’re just going through the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.
Jude: No I’m not!
Alexei: Is that why you keep calling him “Fox”?
Carrie: That’s his last name.
Alexei: Is it?
Nich: Yes! You never bothered to find out?
Percy: Old people are so dramatic
Simultaneously
Erik: Who are you calling old?
Leda: I am not dramatic!
Everett: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.
Clyde: See, this is exactly why I sweep things under the rug. So people don’t get hurt.
Jane: Yes, until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you have a lumpy rug, which creates a tripping hazard, and then you open yourself up to lawsuits. Wow, you can go a really long time without blinking.
Hazel: Clyde, what I’m about to tell you is so strange, no one in their right mind would believe it.
Clyde: Then I’m your guy.
Prof. Alden: Call me cynical, but is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive?
Algernon: James, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.
Robert: What’s going on?
Jane: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Robert: The short one.
Clyde: Shit’s fucked.
Dottie: Well I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.
Hank: Kicked out?
Dottie: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal nail polish and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of the head.
Jane: Sorry, I think I need to be alone right now.
Later
Jane: Thanks for being alone with me, Clyde.
Georgie: My opinions don’t have to be consistent. I think whatever makes me feel nice at the time and there’s no law against that.
Sybil, doing her makeup: Some people say ‘don’t make the wings too big.’
Sybil: I like to make my wings big enough that one day, hopefully, I’ll be able to fly away from all my problems.
Alyssa, raising her voice slightly so she can speak to Hazel down at the other side of the grocery store aisle: Do you want any chips?
Hazel, at full volume: I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS.
Jane: It’s stupid.
Clyde: Hey, nothing we’ve done so far has been un-stupid, and we’re still alive, aren’t we?
Jane: I can’t really argue with that, but I feel like I should.
Dottie: What's my responsibility here? To comfort insecure men? That can’t possibly fall to me.
Clyde: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Mike: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.
Tabitha: I’m fine, thank you for asking. But lately there has been this darkness growing within me.
Beck: I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare. No, really, I wake up every morning with existential terror.
Everett: I literally cannot decide who I am sometimes. It’s frustrating
Everett: Like am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t know!
Dallas: How do you say saboteur in French?
Ara: Saboteur.
Dallas:
Ara: It's a French word, Dallas.
Nina: I'm a great dancer. I'm actually known as the Dancing Diva.
Ella: Is that true?
Nina:…No
Calidor: *sighs* Taven, I feel like you only understand 20% of what I'm saying.
Taven: Thanks!
Dallas: I'm glad you were there. If it had just been me, Andor probably would have died.
Ara: He wouldn't have died.
Dallas: You seem to be underestimating my incompetence.
Nina: Potatoes are the most versatile of foods. Not only can you make a variety of tasty dishes from them, but they're also solid enough that you can put a few russets into a sock to make a pretty effective weapon.
Nina: What’s going on?
Ella: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Nina: The short one.
Ella: Shit’s fucked.
Ravina: Call me cynical, but is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive?
Milo: Ravina, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.
Dallas: Andor, what I’m about to tell you is so strange, no one in their right mind would believe it.
Andor: Then I’m your guy.
Crispin: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.
Gerard: There’s no need to ever ask me how I’m doing; it's safe to assume I'm crashing and burning at any given moment.
Catalina: Let’s not jump to any conclusions.
Ella: I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and the conclusions were there.
Adelia: Are you okay?
Gerard, looking off into the distance: In theory.
Crispin: I apologize for behaving like a dick
Eva: We weren’t going to say it.
Kit: I was.
Ara, to the rest of the gang: And remember, if I get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.
Dallas: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.
Jackson: How do you say saboteur in French?
Victor: Saboteur.
Jackson:
Victor: It's a French word, Jackson.
Hazel: I'm a great dancer. I'm actually known as the Dancing Diva.
Alyssa: Is that true?
Hazel:…No
Christopher, sighing: Georgie, I feel like you only understand 20% of what I'm saying.
Georgie: Thanks!
Kay: I'm glad you were there. If it had just been me, Eliot probably would have died.
Imogen: He wouldn't have died.
Kay: You seem to be underestimating my incompetence.
Louis: Potatoes are the most versatile of foods. Not only can you make a variety of tasty dishes from them, but they're also solid enough that you can put a few russets into a sock to make a pretty effective weapon.
vibrates North Molar
–
Rose: I’m sick of this. Ice cream reminds me of my childhood.
Lila: You didn’t have a happy childhood?
Rose: My favourite toy was a hammer. You finish the puzzle.
————————————–
Zackery: so, what is Beth to you?
Lila: The reason I wake up every morning.
Zackery: …That’s adorable.
Beth earlier that morning, barging into Lilas room, banging pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
————————————–
Rose: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Zackery: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.
————————————–
MC: hey, can I vent?
Zackery: like among us?
————————————–
Rose: So.
Rose: I'm in love.
Rose: with MC.
Rose: I'm in love with MC.
Michael:
Michael: Our MC?
Rose: Yes?
Rose: . . .thoughts?
Michael: And prayers.
————————————–
Isla, when Zackery is being nice to her: I have never met you in my life. You bastard. You fiend. Stop this at once.
Isla, when Zackery is busy and can't be with her right that second: Where are my kisses from brother? Where is my snuggles and cuddles that I crave so dearly? You are cruel and unjust, brother, and I am going to scream.
————————————–
Fraser, age 14: Can I come to the active crime scene?
Rose: Yeah, sure. Why not?
————————————–
Zackery: Damn girl, you a virgin?
MC: no
Zackery: Wanna change that?
MC: what
————————————–
Zackery: what does “baka” mean
Isla: moron
Fraser: idiot
Will: stupid
Zackery: ??? what did I do??
————————————–
Beth: The term “girlfriend” implies the existence of a “girlfoe”.
Beth: This is a service I am willing to provide.
————————————–
Colin: Hey- I didn’t catch your name.
MC: I didn’t throw it :/
————————————–
Rose: If I kill someone, would you tell on me?
Will: No, but I'd use it against you all the time.
Will: Like "Are you washing the dishes today or do I have to make a phone call?"
Carrie: I’m sick of this. Ice cream reminds me of my childhood.
Ayla: You didn’t have a happy childhood?
Carrie: My favorite toy was a hammer. You finish the puzzle.
Maura: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Jimmy: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.
Eliot: So.
Eliot: I'm in love.
Eliot: With Tabitha.
Eliot: I'm in love with Tabitha.
Imogen:
Imogen: Our Tabitha?
Eliot: Yes.
Eliot: . . .thoughts?
Kels, under her breath: And prayers.
Kels, age 14: Can I come to the active war zone?
Anton: Yeah, sure. Why not?
Sybil: The term “girlfriend” implies the existence of a “girlfoe”.
Sybil: This is a service I am willing to provide.
Jackson: If I kill someone, would you tell on me?
Morgan: No, but I'd use it against you all the time.
Morgan: Like "Are you washing the dishes today or do I have to make a phone call?"
Ara: What is you favourite literary vampire?
Andor: The Count from Sesame Street.
Ara: He doesn't count.
Andor: I can assure you he does.
Andor: Let’s have a drink to celebrate!
Dallas: I’m actually still underage
Andor: Oh right
Andor: Here’s a silly straw
Ella: Do you think lava would taste spicy?
James: Please do not eat lava.
Catalina: Actually, since Lava is Molten Earth, it would probably taste very bland and dusty.
Ella: Catalina, you're the only one here who understands me
Frank: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Crispin: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
Catalina: I am a simple woman. I enter the kitchen. I eat four servings of carbs. I leave
Ella: It’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself at once.
Catalina: I like the way you think, friend.
Ara: See? This is my "I don't care" face
Andor: That’s your normal face.
Ara: Exactly.
Crispin: Okay, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea. Gerard’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out.
Keyla: Do you have a plan to get us out of here alive?
Milo: Sort of. The idea starts with “run for it” and generally goes downhill from there.
Gerard: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Caleb: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): Who's you favorite literary vampire?
Erica: The Count from Sesame Street.
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): He doesn't count.
Erica: I can assure you he does.
Algernon: Let’s have a drink to celebrate.
Tabitha: I’m actually still underage
Algernon: Oh, right.
Algernon: Here’s a silly straw.
Alice: Do you think lava would taste spicy?
Henry: Please don't eat lava.
Victor: Actually, since lava is molten earth, it would probably taste very bland and dusty.
Alice: Victor, you're the only one here who understands me.
Phebe: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Byron: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
Alice: I am a simple woman. I enter the kitchen. I eat four servings of carbs. I leave
Jackson: It’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself at once.
Alice: I like the way you think, friend.
Tabitha: See? This is my "I don't care" face
Imogen: That’s your normal face.
Tabitha: Exactly.
Everett: Do you have a plan to get us out of here alive?
Clyde: Sort of? The idea starts with “run for it” and generally goes downhill from there.
[talking about the no-bones dog on tiktok]
Daedra: Is it just when a dog gets a bone?
Hyo: No.
Caliga: Do not word it like that.
Geobi: what
Daedra: Don't you want the dog to bone?
Caliga: That's even worse wording.
Hyo: Not those bones. their walking bones.
Daedra: HA! You fools. I found an NYT article explaining it to me!
Erica: "Bones Day." Is it just when a dog gets a bone?
Teagan: No.
Della: Do not word it like that.
Teagan: What.
Erica: Don't you want the dog to bone?
Della: That's even worse wording.
Teagan: Not those bones. their walking bones.
Erica: HA! You fools. I found an NYT article explaining it to me!
Eris: Let’s have a drink to celebrate.
Kaz: We're actually still underage
Eris: Oh, right.
Eris: Here’s a silly straw.
Kaz: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Eris: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
Skyke: Are you okay?
Artimae, looking off into the distance: In theory.
Eris: My opinions don’t have to be consistent. I think whatever makes me feel nice at the time and there’s no law against that.
Kaz: So.
Kaz: I'm in love.
Kaz: With Eris.
Kaz: I'm in love with Eris.
Skyke:
Skyke: Our Eris?
Kaz: Yes.
Kaz: . . .thoughts?
Skyke, under her breath: And prayers.