forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

tune

Rino: Pick your battles. Pick… pick fewer battles than that. Put some battles back. That's too many.
Lime, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: But I NEED all these!

Clyde: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Violet: I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
Alyssa: The McDonalds ice cream machine.
Violet: …
Violet: I mean the actual answer was silence but you're not wrong-

Emily: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Finley: I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
Emily: The McDonalds ice cream machine.
Finley: …
Finley: I mean the actual answer was silence but you're not wrong-

Sophie: They're not symptoms of depression, they're blues clues!

Emily: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Mara: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

Mara: When did you get your driver's license?
Emily, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Mara: Coffee is disgusting! I only drink the finest leaves!
Emily: Tea is just pompous water. Real adults drink coffee.
Finley, drinking a mug of hot chocolate: Sometimes I like to add rainbow sprinkles.

Jonah: Physically, yes, I can fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

may: i think juniper was right.
killian: i'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'i told you so.'
luca: he wouldn't do that.
juniper: you're right, luca. for once in your life, you're 100% right. i would never say that.
juniper: [turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'juniper told you so' on the back]

luca: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many.
delilah, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: but i need all these!

killian: they're not symptoms of depression, they're blues clues!

luca: killian, what the hell are you doing?
killian: i am practicing self care
luca: you're eating a candle
killian: SELF CARE

may: she was poetry, but he couldn’t read
juniper: his name was jared, he’s nineteen
killian: when his parents built a very strange machine
mariette: watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!
delilah: aaaay macarena!
luca: …horrible job, everyone

juniper: i’ll add on to your “a” to make “at.”
may: okay, i’ll add on to your “at” to make “rat.”
luca: i will add on to your “rat” to make “biostratigraphic.”
killian: [flips table]

Reese: (reading Shakespeare) He goeth down-
Ethan: I YELLETH TIMBER-
~
Sage: When you said 'magical in bed', this wasn't really what I-
Minnie: (pulling a playing card out of her sleeve) Is THIS your card?
Sage: Oh my god
~
Ethan: I think my problem is that I like seeing how red the flag can get.
~
Ethan: The sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection though-
Sage: I am so sick of this shit. Two gas stations can't even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, but I can't find a single fic for Denny's/Applebees with Denny's bottoming.
Minnie: You're literally out of you mind if you think Denny's isn't a top.
Reese: You all make me want to walk into the ocean and never return.
~
Video game loading screen: The tactis screen allows you to-
Minnie: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF
~
Random jerk: (asking about Reese) But are they a guy or a girl? Like, what are they biologically?
Ethan: …They are human.

Alyssa: Jay Gatsby's car was a real hit with the ladies.
Jonah: I know nothing about The Great Gatsby but I know you, and with that knowledge I am 100% sure that Jay Gatsby hits some lady with his car.

Delphinia: She was poetry, but he couldn’t read
Jesse: His name was Jared, he’s nineteen
Gracelyn: When his parents built a very strange machine
Clem: Watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!
Hex: Aaaay macarena!
Auria: …horrible job, everyone

Delphinia: I’ll add on to your “a” to make “at.”
Jesse: Okay, I’ll add on to your “at” to make “rat.”
Gracelyn: i will add on to your “rat” to make “biostratigraphic.”
Jesse: [flips table]

Gracelyn: (reading Shakespeare) He goeth down.
Jesse: I YELLETH TIMBER-

Delphinia: I think I want some roller skates.
Jesse, an intellectual: Ah, vintage heelies.

Gracelyn: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
Hex, covered in ink: Maybe the squid was being a jerk.
Auria: …did you win?

Hex: I can't believe Martell came into my room pretending to be a doctor and diagnosed me with ugly.
Gracelyn: I can't believe you believed him.

Gracelyn: I joined the rebellion for the same reason people go the the zoo. Look at that.
Auria: smacks Hex
Gracelyn: Nature is beautiful.

Delphinia: So I thought we could play checkers and then say all the things we like about each other.
Kidnapper, crying: Jesse paid the ransom three days ago. Please just go home.

Hex: Jesse, I screwed up big time.
Jesse: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Delphinia: Why am I not a tomato?
Auria: Because your genetic code dictates that you're human.
Gracelyn: However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a tomato.
Jesse: Wait, are you telling me that some people are 10% more tomato than others?

Delphinia: Do you think birds get sad because they don't have arms?
Auria: Well, do you get sad because you don't have wings?
Delphinia, choking up: Every single day.

Clem: What made you take an interest in playing so many instruments?
Jesse: Well, it started with my desire to the able to play All Star by Smash Mouth on every instrument known to man-
Clem: Your desire to do _{what now}

Klaus: I have your son.
Adrian: I do not have a son.
Klaus: So who's this child that keeps following my commands and then asks for sweet pastries?
Adrian: Oh dear, you have Bla-
Klaus: Please take him back.

Darius: That's a nice rock.
Hugo: Thanks, Dahlia gave it to me.
Dahlia: I threw it at you.
Hugo: She's very sweet.

Hugo: I spend 30 minutes every evening telling a bedtime story to my cat.
Hugo: And then I go to work and everyone takes me seriously as a normal adult.

Adrian: If I was a gardener, I'd pull our tulips together.
Dahlia, blushing while shaking her head: Heh
Zachary, turning to Lucille: If you were a gardener, I'd be your hoe.
Lucille: …

Adrian: When I was your age, no one even had muskets.
Blazh: Yeah, well when you were my age, you had stuff we didn't have…
Blazh: Like dinosaurs and the Almighty Father.

Jonah: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing!
Violet: We're literally married.

Milo: Good morning cruel world
Keyla: Don't you mean goodbye?
Milo: No I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

Garzlan: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing!
Ravina: We're literally engaged.

Andor: Ara, I screwed up big time.
Ara: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Andor: Why am I not a tomato?
Ara: Because your genetic code dictates that you're human.
Ara: However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a tomato.
Andor: Wait, are you telling me that some people are 10% more tomato than others?

Garzlan: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many.
Milo, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: but i need all these!

Frank: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Gerard: Physically, yes, I can fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Ara: When did you get your driver's license?
Andor, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Andor: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Dallas: Croissants: dropped.
Holly: Chickens: looked at.
Jackie: Road: works ahead.
Andor: Shavacado: fre.
Ara: …
Ara: I speak three languages and I didn’t understand a single word of that.

Teacher: I’m heading to the bathroom, make sure to do your work! I’ll quiz you on question 2 when I get back!
Teacher: leaves
Hibiscus:
Hibiscus: Should we-
Flora: Yeah.
Hibiscus and Flora: simultaneously reach into their bookbags and pull out three whoopee cushions each

Alyssa: Good morning cruel world
Violet: Don't you mean goodbye?
Alyssa: No I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but i’m still kicking.

Hazel: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

(i return!)

Cyrus: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough, or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Dally: Ant, I screwed up big time.
Anthony: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Elliot: So, that’s the plan!
Perry: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Elliot: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Perry: Your plan fucking sucks.
Elliot: That’s not constructive!

Quill: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Cyrus: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Quill: Yes :)
Anthony: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Quill: Anthony isn’t answering his phone.
Dally: I can try calling him.
Cyrus: Quill and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Anthony, picking up on the first ring: What the FUCK do you want Dally

Love: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Dally:
Dally: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Clyde: I love you, Jane. You're the best thing that's happened to me.
Jane: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Clyde: Yeah.
Jane: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Victor: Geneva isn’t answering her phone.
Jackson: I can try calling her.
Henry: Victor and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Geneva, picking up on the first ring: What the FUCK do you want, Jackson-

Beck: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Marisol:
Marisol: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

delilah: name one time i haven’t acted professional
luca: you’re holding a juice box right now
delilah: it’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

luca: what is the one thing i told you not to do?
juniper: burn the house down.
luca: and what did you do?
juniper: i made dinner.
luca:
juniper:
luca:
juniper: and i burnt the house down.

juniper: i have a problem.
delilah: if it's harder than 2+2, i can't help.

may: ew. what kind of tea is this?
killian, proudly: i boiled gatorade.

juniper: when do you usually go to sleep?
killian: whenever i collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Hazel: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

(okay so this actually got me curious and apparently if you keep the eggs cold, salmonella can't even grow, it's more the flour you have to worry about and for the most part it's e. Coli that's the problem)

Hazel: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

(okay so this actually got me curious and apparently if you keep the eggs cold, salmonella can't even grow, it's more the flour you have to worry about and for the most part it's e. Coli that's the problem)

(that’s interesting! i had heard that flour can also carry salmonella, but i didn’t realize refrigerating your eggs stops it from growing at all)

Nolan: ew. what kind of tea is this?
Kalif, proudly: I boiled Gatorade.

Xavier: when do you usually go to sleep?
Wes: whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Cecilia: Good morning cruel world
Lyra: Don't you mean goodbye?
Cecilia: No I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but I’m still kicking.

Dante: name one time I haven’t acted professional
Abraham: you’re holding a juice box right now
Dante: it’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

Abraham: So, that’s the plan!
Wes: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Abraham: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Wes: Your plan fucking sucks.
Abraham: That’s not constructive!

Violet: What kind of tea is this?
Jonah: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade!

Jane: When do you usually go to sleep?
Everett: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

Martha: Name one time I haven’t acted professional!
Geneva: You’re holding a juice box right now.
Martha: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

Gerard: Sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*

Jackie: I'm actually concerned about boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like, did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girl's eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes?
Holly: Babies have no concept of object permanence.
Jackie: That is one of the sickest burns I've ever heard.

Andor: Sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game, but how often do you jump in real life?
Dallas: "Do you even remember the last time you jumped" is a question I never anticipated to leave me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Taven: So, that’s the plan!
Farli: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Taven: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Farli: Your plan fucking sucks.
Taven: That’s not constructive!

Andor: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Gerard: I love you, Adelia. You're the best thing that's happened to me.
Adelia: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Gerard: Yeah.
Adelia: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Kristi: I'm actually concerned about boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like, did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girl's eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes?
Kate: Babies have no concept of object permanence.
Kristi: That is one of the sickest burns I've ever heard.

Jonah: Sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game, but how often do you jump in real life?
Everett: "Do you even remember the last time you jumped" is a question I never anticipated to leave me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Alice: With all due respect, which is none, I hate you.
Chase:
Chase: I literally just asked where Levi is…

Iulian: If you like me raise your hand.
Esmeralda: What if I don’t like you?
Iulian: Then raise your fucking standards.

Alice: What's your type?
Esmeralda: Of what?
Alice, sarcastically: Blood.
Esmeralda: Oh right. A-Negative.

Esmeralda: Sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game, but how often do you jump in real life?
Levi: "Do you even remember the last time you jumped" is a question I never anticipated to leave me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Alice: Chase isn’t answering his phone.
Levi: I can try calling him.
Alice: Esme and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Chase, picking up on the first ring: What the FUCK do you want Levi?

Ivy: I love you, Iulian. You're the best thing that's happened to me.
Iulian: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Ivy: Yeah.
Iulian: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Claudia: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Levi: So, that’s the plan!
Esmeralda: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Levi: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Esmeralda: Your plan fucking sucks.
Levi: Okay, well that's not constructive.

Collin: I've invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game
Fraser and Isla, nodding: Knife Monopoly
Collin:
Collin: I was actually gonna hunt you for sports but now I wanna know whatever the fuck knife monopoly is.
——————————————–
Zackery: what is toothpaste, if not bone soap?
Rose: Existence is a prison and being your friend is maximum security.
——————————————–
Michael: This food is too hot, I can't eat it :(
Beth:
Lila:
Fraser:
Isla:
Zackery:
Zackery: You're hot and I'd still eat you-
Rose, slamming his hands on the table: ONE DINNER
Ann: Here we go-
Rose: ONE DINNER IS ALL I ASK
——————————————–
Michael: Zacks run off, can you help me find him??
Rose: What, do you think I have him microchipped or something?
Michael:
Micheal: Do you?
Rose: Yeah, hang on.

Estella: What is toothpaste, if not bone soap?
Peregrine: Existence is a prison, and being your girlfriend is maximum security.

Estella: I'm actually concerned about boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like, did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girl's eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes?
Peregrine: Babies have no concept of object permanence.
Estella: That is one of the sickest burns I've ever heard.

Clem: What kind of tea is this?
Delphinia: Oh, I boiled some Gatorade!

Jesse: Name one time I haven’t acted professional!
Hex: You’re holding a juice box right now.
Jesse: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

Jesse: Sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS stands up and blacks out for a second

Jesse: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Hex: With all due respect, which is none, I hate you.
Gracelyn:
Gracelyn: I literally just asked where Jesse is…

Jesse: Delphinia ran off, can you help me find her?
Auria: What, do you think I have her microchipped or something?
Jesse:
Jesse: Do you?
Auria: Yeah, hang on.

Jesse: falls off a roof, crashing into the bed of a pickup truck
Gracelyn, not taking her eyes off the road: Hey, Jesse.
Jesse, casually sitting up: Hey.

Delphinia: I have good news and bad news! Which do you want to hear first?
Jesse: …good.
Delphinia: It is very unlikely that I will ever, EVER do it again.

Delphinia: How do you feel about children?
Hex: Um, they're okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Jesse: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Hex: I just said I wouldn't.

Clyde: Falls off a roof, crashing into the bed of a pickup truck
Jane, not taking her eyes off the road: Hey, Clyde.
Clyde, casually sitting up: Hey.

Ethan: What do you look for in a guy?
Reese: I look away.
~
Sage: When were your "ugly years"?
Minnie: Birth to present
~
Ethan: On the outside I skrt skrt but on the inside I hurt hurt
~
Reese: I think you use humor to deflect serious trauma-
Ethan: Thank you
Reese: …I didn't say that was a good thing-
Ethan: What I'm hearing is you think I'm funny
~
Sage: How are you single??
Minnie: You're about to find out, just hang tight-
~
Reese: There are two types of people.
Reese: I avoid them both.
~
Minnie: I'm not studying anymore, stress is bad for the baby.
Ethan: What baby??
Minnie: Me
~
Reese: I am so sick of your shit-
Ethan: Get well soon~
~
Reese: If I hear someone signing Hamilton in the shower again, I'm joining them in the shower so I can drown them.
~
Sage: (pours Monster Energy into coffee)
Sage: (drinks the whole thing)
Sage: I'm gonna die

Poli: What do you look for in a guy?
Tetra: I look away.

Dally: Falls off a roof, crashing into the bed of the pickup truck
Cyrus, not taking her eyes off the road: Hey, Dally.
Dally, casually sitting up: Hey.

Elliot: I think you use humor to deflect serious trauma-
Perry: Thank you.
Elliot: …I didn't say that was a good thing-
Perry: So what I'm hearing is you think I'm funny.

Quill: Sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like some people do, but can those same people do this?
Quill: Stands up and blacks out for a second

Ollie, on stage, running a Pokémon pun show with Terri: Wow, not ANAETHER pun! I’m gonna luse my mind!
Terri: You’re in luck, because I’ve got a full get-in-the-bag full of these!
Ollie: I’m gladyin’ to hear the next one!
Shaeir, in the audience: I’ll be gladead before this is over.
Caia, nodding: Hau bad do you think this will get?

Terri: Sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like some people do, but can they do THIS?
Terri: [stands up and immediately blacks out]

Shaeir, giving an inspirational speech: Take a stand. Fight back. Don’t let bullies bully you.
Terri: [grabs a music stand and slams it over Caia’s head]

Fred: Just don’t touch anything.
Bumble: Okay!
Bumble, after Fred leaves: Pyro, I’m gonna touch everything.

Terri: What's the first thing you notice about a guy when he walks towards you?
Caia: The audacity.

Thunder: Now for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!
Pyro: [incoherent violent screaming]

Terri: How do tall people sleep? Wouldn't their feet go right past the blanket?
Shaeir: Terri, it's three in the morning.
Terri: You can't sleep?
Shaeir:
Terri: Is it the blanket?

Mrs. Kestrel: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying “Haven’t decided yet” is typically a good response.

Terri: What if Mike was short for Micycle?
Shaeir: Y'know, sometimes I wish the 2012 apocalypse really happened.

Mrs. Kestrel: This is a feeling stick. Whoever has the feeling stick can express their feelings without being judged.
Mrs. Kestrel: [Passes the feeling stick to Caia]
Caia: [Breaks the feeling stick in half]
Mrs. Kestrel: Believe it or not, this is not the first time someone has broke the feeling stick.
Mrs. Kestrel: [Pulls out a much smaller stick]
Mrs. Kestrel: I also carry travel size.

Shaeir: What made you change sides?
Terri: I guess I just saw the error of my ways.
Shaeir: … It was Jimmy, wasn’t it?
Terri: It was Jimmy.