(sanders sides is rad i-)
Hypnos: A waiter could kill me and I would still tip 20%.
Adrastos: I would actually tip more if they murdered me. That's great customer service.
Me: every single day there is an episode of Web of Lies to write & i am sick of it
Adrastos, talking to Hypnos on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Hypnos: You bet!
Adrastos: At what temperature?
Hypnos: 535.
Adrastos: That’s the clock.
Hypnos:
Adrastos:
Hypnos: 536.
Jon: A waiter could kill me and I would still tip 20%.
Oliver: I would actually tip more if they murdered me. That's great customer service.
Padma, talking to Barry on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Barry: You bet!
Padma: At what temperature?
Barry: 535.
Padma: That’s the clock.
Barry:
Padma:
Barry: 536.
Kalif: Embracing my god complex by changing my pronouns from he/him to He/Him.
Dante, shielding Abraham, Isaac, Lyra, and Fantasia: Sir, that's my emotional support found family trope.
Ara: I just listened to Andor recite the first 50 digits of pi to some random woman on the bus, except I've also memorized the first 50 digits of pi and he got all of them wrong.
Ravina: How's the sexiest person here?
Garzlan: I don't know, how are you?
Ravina: I-
Milo, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
Keyla, to Milo: You're the worst person ever!
Ravina: Calm down Keyla. We'll get this sorted out.
Ravina, to Milo: But you really are the worst. Ever.
Brian: A waiter could kill me and I would still tip 20%.
Dallas: I would actually tip more if they murdered me. That's great customer service.
Andor: I made a mistake. Now are you going to help me fix it or are you going to continue to berate me?
Ara: I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.
Crispin, shielding Kit, Eva, and Caleb: Sir, that's my emotional support found family trope.
Crispin, to Gerard: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.
Victor: I just listened to Jackson recite the first 50 digits of pi to some random guy on the bus, except I've also memorized the first 50 digits of pi and he got all of them wrong.
Ophelia, to Oleander: You're the worst person ever!
Calla: Calm down, Ophelia. We'll get this sorted out.
Calla, to Oleander: But you really are the worst. Ever.
Eliot, shielding Imogen, Kels, Addie, Kay, and Tabitha: Sir, that's my emotional support found family trope.
Pietyr, to Tabitha: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.
Adrastos: I just listened to Hypnos recite the first 50 digits of pi to some random woman on the bus, except I've also memorized the first 50 digits of pi and he got all of them wrong.
Adrastos, to Melany: You're the worst person ever!
Hypnos: Calm down, Adra. We'll get this sorted out.
Hypnos, to Melany: But you really are the worst. Ever.
Leaoni, to Desmond: You're the worst chief of police ever!
Lynn: Calm down, Leaoni. We'll get this sorted out.
Lynn, to Desmond: But you really are the worst. Ever.
Leaoni: Isn’t the idea supposed to be ‘you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?’
Zatian: nope other way round. you saved my life, so now I’m your problem. if you don’t like it, then kill me.
Zatian: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
Psychic, reading Varians mind: No offense, but it's kind of a nightmare in here.
Varian: Haha, yeah.
Psychic: How are all your thoughts in comic sans?
Kallai: Frost…
Frost: Oh no, 'Frost' in b-flat.
Frost: You're disappointed.
Adrastos: Hypnos…
Hypnos: Oh no, 'Hypnos' in b-flat.
Hypnos: You're disappointed.
Adrastos: Isn’t the idea supposed to be ‘you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?’
Hypnos: nope other way round. you saved my life, so now I’m your problem. if you don’t like it, then kill me.
Hypnos: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
Psychic, reading Hypnos' mind: No offense, but it's kind of a nightmare in here.
Hypnos: Haha, yeah.
Psychic: How are all your thoughts in comic sans?
Psychic, reading Kay's mind: No offense, but it's kind of a nightmare in here.
Kay: Haha, yeah.
Psychic: How are all your thoughts in comic sans?
friday night funkin oc time friday night funkin oc time
malomi: if you're bored you can simply close your eyes and spin a cow in your mind
malomi: it's free and the police can't stop you
vienna: pick me or–
gf: i pick the second choice
vienna:
vienna: you don’t even know the person i’m talking about
gf, snapping her finger on each word: do. i. look. like. i. care. bitch?
kimtar: for low self-esteem reasons, i will now take that compliment as an insult
Crispin: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I have a sword so I'd like to see you try.
Crispin: No really, go ahead. I dare you.
Andor: if you're bored you can simply close your eyes and spin a cow in your mind
Andor: it's free and the police can't stop you
Gerard: for low self-esteem reasons, i will now take that compliment as an insult
Ara, reading Andor's mind: No offense, but it's kind of a nightmare in here.
Andor: Haha, yeah.
Ara: How are all your thoughts in comic sans?
kimtar: sticks and stones may break my bones, but i have a sword so i'd like to see you try.
kimtar: no really, go ahead. i dare you.
malomi: hey vienna-
vienna: [choking up] pico used to call me vienna…
malomi: because it’s your fucking name
malomi: that was my sarcastic voice
kimtar: it sounds a lot like your regular voice
malomi: i've been told that
vienna: you're right.
malomi: that's… that's an unusual phrase for you. did you just learn it?
vienna: look, let’s just agree to say “i’m sorry” on the count of three
vienna: one, two, three
vienna:
malomi:
vienna: see, now i’m just disappointed in the both of us
me, shielding malomi, vienna, and kimtar: sir, that's my emotional support found family trope.
kimtar: so i thought i’d take you for a spa day, just you and me.
vienna: i feel like you’re starting to say a word and not finishing it.
vienna: are you trying to say spaghetti? are you taking me for a spaghetti day?
Gabriel: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I have a sword so I'd like to see you try.
Gabriel: No really, go ahead. I dare you.
Jackson: If you're bored, you can simply close your eyes and spin a cow in your mind.
Jackson: It's free and the police can't stop you.
Victor: For low self-esteem reasons, I will now take that compliment as an insult.
Soul: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I have a sword, so I'd like to see you try.
Soul: No really, go ahead. I dare you.
right before Silent’s and Sky’s wedding
Ice: Well, I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Sound: Wait.. Oh! I have a wedding to attend, too!
Dark: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well.
Greystone: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Sky, in panic: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO HOST
Random person, to all of them: I love you
Silent: Thanks, man!
Ice: oh no
Sound: crying I love you too
Dark: Sounds fake but okay
Greystone: a flustered mess
Sky: can I get a refund
Another random person: Can I copy your homework?
Sound + Jasper: I can help you with it!
Ice: Yeah, sure.
Silent + Dark: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Acacia + Vincent: lol nope
Greystone: Wait, we had homework?!?!?
Sky: Read 5:55 PM
Silent: Ice… How do I even begin to describe Ice?
Sound: Ice is flawless.
Dark: I hear her fur’s insured for $10,000.
Greystone: I hear she does car commercials… in Japan.
Sky: Once she punched me in the face.
Sound: It was awesome.
Sound: Rules were made to be broken.
Ice: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Silent: Uh, piñatas.
Sound: Glow sticks.
Sky: Karate boards.
Greystone: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Sound: Rules.
Ice:
Soul: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ice?
Ice: … No.
Joey: I do!
Soul: I know, Joey.
Joey: I’m sad!
Soul: I know, Joey.
Silent: Hey, Ice? Can I get some dating advice?
Ice: Just because I’m with Sound doesn’t mean I don’t know how I did it.
Silent: What do you think Ice will do for a distraction?
Sound: She’ll probably, like, make a loud noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
Building explodes and several car alarms go off
Sound: … or she could do that.
vienna: it’s dark in here
malomi: don’t worry dude i got this
malomi: [stomps her feet]
malomi: [skechers light up]
kimtar, going over malomi's resume: okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.
malomi: yes
kimtar: okay… may i know what you create?
malomi: problems.
malomi: treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
vienna: killed without hesitation.
malomi: no.
vienna: bad things keep happening to me, like i have bad luck or something.
malomi: vi, you don't have bad luck. the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
kimtar: mal… why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
malomi: your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
kimtar:
kimtar: i wrote sanitize, mal.
Addie: It's dark in here
Kay: Don’t worry babe, I've got this
Kay: Stomps their feet
Kay: Skechers light up
Dr. Flynn, going over Victor's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative?
Victor: Yes.
Dr. Flynn: Okay… may I know what you create?
Victor: Problems.
vienna: i’m an idiot.
malomi:
kimtar:
jackson:
vienna:
malomi: if you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
malomi: we’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what vienna will and will not eat.
kimtar: grass? yes!
malomi: moss? yes!!
kimtar: leaves? ohh, yes!
malomi: shoelaces? strange but true!
kimtar: worms? sometimes!
malomi: rocks? usually nah.
kimtar: twigs? usually!
malomi: jackson's cooking? inconclusive!
pico: how did you… test this?
malomi: you just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it.
pico: …i don’t know how to feel about this.
jackson: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Ravou: hey Malak, what do you call a fish without an eye?
Malak: What?
Ravou: fsh
Malak: ._.
Emmett: It's dark in here.
Love: Don’t worry, I've got this.
Love: Stomps their feet
Love: Skechers light up
Anthony: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Dally: You and me! :)
Anthony, tearing up: Okay.
Magnus: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Cyrus: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Dally: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Perry: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Vio: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Drinn: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do! Welcome to the real world!
Tetra, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Anthony: Damn it, Cyrus!
Cyrus: What? I just got here!
Anthony: Sorry, force of habit. Damn it, Azazel!
Azazel: Wasn’t me either.
Anthony: Oh…then who set the apartment on fire?
Dally: Whistles
Tetra, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Zephyr: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Ellis: I personally was created in a lab.
Drinn: I just straight up spawned lol
Hastur: As one of my human friends would say, "Ya basic."
Hastur: That's a human insult. It's devastating.
Hastur: You should be devastated right now.
Hastur: I can’t believe Alune tried to stab me.
Phel: You’re literally immortal.
Hastur: I have feelings.
Leaoni: [Holds up a spork] Sana, what is this?
Sana: A spork…?
Leaoni: Right. Takeo, what did you call it?
Takeo: … A fpoon…
Amari: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Leaoni: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
Varian: I can explain.
Desmond: Can you?
Varian: Just give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Frost: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Kallai:
Kallai: That’s why i carry two swords.
Alune: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Varian: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Alune: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Leaoni: It's dark in here.
Trace: Don’t worry, I've got this.
Trace: Stomps her feet
Trace: Skechers light up
Desmond, going over Varian’s resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative?
Varian: Yes.
Desmond: Okay… may I know what you create?
Varian: Problems, mainly.
Alune, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Sally: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Hibiki: I personally was created in a lab.
Pipes: I just straight up spawned lol.
Ozzie: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Freddy: You and me.
Ozzie, tearing up: Okay.
Oberon: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Robin: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Titania: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Aspen: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Tabitha: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Kels: Oh yeah? You are the one who thinks you can get away with everything you do! Welcome to the real world!
Imogen, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Ness: Damn it, Lyra!
Lyra: What? I just got here!
Ness: Sorry, force of habit. Damn it, Trix!
Trix: Wasn’t me either.
Ness: Oh…then who set the warehouse on fire?
Dima: Whistles
Oberon, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you assigned male or female at birth?
Robin: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Juniper: You're not being helpful.
Robin: I just straight up spawned.
Jackson: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Martha: Okay, but what is updog?
Henry: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Geneva: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Victor: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Martha: Surely, that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Jackson: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Geneva: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Victor: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Henry: What’s a henway?
Jackson: Oh, about five pounds.
Henry: We need to distract these guys.
Victor: Leave it to me
Victor: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Dr. Flynn, Mr. Flynn, and Charlie: Immediately begin arguing
Nich: I can explain.
Mourton: Can you?
Nich: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
malomi: you lying, cheating, piece of shit!
vienna: oh yeah? you’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
malomi: i’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JACKSON WITH ME
kimtar, picking up the monopoly board: i think we’re gonna stop playing now.
malomi: i just ended a four-year relationship.
vienna: oh, I’m so sorry. are you okay?
malomi: hm? oh yeah, i'm fine. it wasn’t my relationship.
[kimtar and jackson fighting from across the room]
jackson: [screams]
vienna: [screams louder to establish dominance]
kimtar: should we do something?
malomi: no, i want to see who wins.
Hastur: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Hastur: I see how it is.
Alune: Sure, I may not get a "healthy amount" of sleep like some people, but can they do this?
Alune: [stands up and immediately passes out]
Graham, after just waking up: Hey, what'd I miss?
Leaoni: Varian's in prison.
Graham: He's WHAT?
Pipes: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Varian: My arms are very strong.
Varian: I would catch you and hug you.
Pipes: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
Robin: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Robin: I see how it is.
Nell, after just waking up: Hey, what'd I miss?
Joan: Nich's in prison.
Nell: He's WHAT?
Robin: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Titania: My arms are very strong.
Titania: I would catch you and hug you.
Robin: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
Andor: We are in an undisclosed location.
Ara: You already said earlier that we were in Vancouver.
Andor: Yeah I guess I did say that. But I never said where
Ara: No, you said we were downtown.
Andor: *sigh* We are in an undisclosed location in Vancouver. It might be in the downtown area, it might not be.
Brian: Do you guys want to go hiking this weekend?
Holly: It's probably not the best time.
Brian: Oh yeah, I guess it'll be crowded because of the long weekend.
Holly: I was actually thinking because Jackie broke her leg, but that too I guess.
Jackie: …And here I was thinking that a hike might actually be kinda nice.
Milo: I would offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Crispin: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Crispin: I see how it is.
Milo: [screams]
Ravina: [screams louder to establish dominance]
Garzlan: should we do something?
Keyla: no, i want to see who wins.
Ara: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Andor: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Dallas: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Holly: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Gerard: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Adelia: You and me.
Gerard, tearing up: Okay.
Kit: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Crispin: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Kit: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Dallas: It's dark in here
Andor: Don’t worry, I've got this
Andor: *Stomps their feet*
Andor: *Skechers light up*
Ace, proofreading Flyx's mock resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative
Flyx: Yup
Ace: Okay… what exactly do you create?
Flyx: Problems
Ace: Accurate, but try again
Dax: I've had the game of football mansplained to me hundreds of times and I still don't understand it 'cause I so deeply don't care
Ace: …But you're a man?
Dax: I've also had the crime of a man not understanding football mansplained to me as well
Ace:
Ace: I'll allow it
Tess: stabs someone
Alexis:
Tess:
Alexis:
Tess: He's only mostly dead
Wolf: Never get involved in a land war in Asia
Tess & Tori: Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line
Pharaoh: My gender is anger and my pronouns are fuck off and screw you
Julian: Someone died in the living room
Tristan: Well I guess it's not a living room anymore
Julian: Get out
Rhydar: I did a bad thing…
Koralia: Does it affect me?
Rhydar: No, but–
Koralia: Then suffer in silence
Ryker: Did you know that one in every four people are gay?
Alexis: That means at least one of us are bound to be gay
Tess: I hope it's Kit
Kit: We're all gay, you fucking idiots
Lincoln: Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense
Vera: What are you talking about, they all make scents
Lincoln: Shut the fuck up
Harper: 'Free as a bird' is often misused, it means you don't have to pay for em. See a bird? Pick it up. It's yours now. I have 3 hawks and 58 crows
Damien: We have what now?
Kit: Don't say anything stupid on the way out
Tess: I won't
Tess: shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony
Tess: So are you God's boyfriend?
Jay: Something strange… in the neighborhood *turns to Flyx* Who you gonna call?
Flyx: The fuckin police
Raoul: What do you want for breakfast?
Julian: Ice cream
Raoul: Try again
Julian: Should I say it louder?
Angel: Wakes up in the middle of the night to see Tess an inch from his face
Tess: So we had this id—stop screaming—so we had this idea
Angel: What the fuck—wait, who's 'we?'
Pharaoh, directly beside his face: We had this idea–
Angel: Christ, there's two of them
Ace: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Flyx: If you say 'addictionary' I swear to fucking god I will cut you
Ace: I was gonna say 'high definition' but yours is better
Azazel: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Quill: If you say 'addictionary', I swear to god I will hurt you.
Azazel: …I was gonna say 'high definition', but you know what? Yours is better.
Quill: Did you know that one in every four people are gay?
Cyrus: That means at least one of us is bound to be gay.
Anthony: …I hope it's Dally.
Magnus: We’re all gay, you fucking idiots.
Tetra: Don't say anything stupid on the way out.
Zephyr: I won't!
Zephyr, shaking the priest's hand after the wedding ceremony: So are you God's boyfriend?
Azazel: The phrase 'free as a bird' is often misused. It means you don't have to pay for ‘em. See a bird? Pick it up. It's yours now. I’ve obtained 3 hawks and 58 crows using this method
Zephyr: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Tetra: My arms are very strong. I would catch you and hug you.
Zephyr: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.